Do A Nice Thing For Your Future Self
Fa un lucru dragut pentru sinele tau din viitor -de Elizabeth Gilbert
Am crescut la o ferma mica, de familie, cu plante si animale care aveau nevoie de ingrjire constant, astfel incat vacantele erau rare. Dar intr-o vara parintii mei au convins un vecin fermier sa se ocupe de caprele si gainile noastre, dandu-ne astfel ocazia sa mergem la plaja pentru o saptamana. In dimineata in care plecam, mama si-a desfasat patul, a spalat si a uscat cearsafurile si le-a intins inapoi perfect pe pat, ca si cum l-ar fi pregatit pentru un oaspete. Am fost descumpanita. Nimeni nu urma sa ne viziteze cat timp eram plecati; de ce atata risipa de timp si munca?
“Ah”, mi-a explicat mama cand am intrebat-o de ce s-a obosit cu asta, “este doar un mic cadou pe care il ofer mie cea din viitor. In felul acesta, cand se va intoarce acasa obosita si epuizata la finalul vacantei, va primi cadou cearsafuri proaspete, curate, care au asteptat sa o primeasca inapoi in patul ei”
“Ea”, mi-a spus mama, nu “eu”. Mi s-a parut izbitor faptul ca dadea dovada de o bunatate prieteneasca fata de persoana care urma sa devina. Sinele din acel moment al mamei mele credea serios ca straina care va deveni pe parcursul saptamanii ce urma merita iubire. Acest cadou al unui pat proaspat facut nu era un gest nesemnificativ: era o constienta strangere de mana care transmitea afectiune in timp, un mod de a conecta femeia ddin acest moment cu femeia din viitor.
Nu am uitat niciodata aceasta lectie.
Ni se spune sa fim buni si generosi cu noi insine, dar nu este intotdeauna usor. Deseori nu simtim ca meritam. de multe ori nu reusim sa actionam inspre binele nostru, in haosul momentului prezent, refuzandu-ne noua insine tandretea iubitoare. Ne uitam in oglinda si ne gandim la fiecare lucru stupid pe care l-am facut sau l-am spus azi si decidem: “Mda, uite asa arata o bucata mizerabila de gunoi uman”. Apoi vine pedeapsa, care poate fi orice, de la mancatul necontrolat la a ne lasa abuzati de alte persoane la a nu ne plati taxele. Cand te urasti atat de mult, de ce ti-ai face vreodata patul? Esti practic o javra fara valoare care nu merita nimic mai mult decat sa doarma pe o gramada de carpe murdare.
Dar ce se intampla cu persoana care vei deveni intr-o saptamana? Sau o luna? Sau un an? Ce se va intampla cu acea straina inocenta? Ce a facut vreodata atat de gresit? Cum ar fi insa daca ai putea sa te uiti la sinele tau viitor ca la un oaspete valoros, care merita afectiune si simpatie? Cum ar fi daca in fiecare zi ai incerca sa te gandesti la un cadou dragut pe care sa i-l oferi - ceva care ar face-o sa se simta bine venita si in siguranta si iubita cand in cele din urma va aparea?
Poate sa fie un gest cat se poate de mic, precum curatatul dintilor cu ata dentara (o sarcina plictisitoare pe care nu reusesc sa ma conving sa o execut decat daca incep prin a spune “Aceasta e pentru tine, Liz viitoare!”), sau un gest maret, cum ar fi sa te lasi de fumat sau sa parasesti o relatie toxica deoarece nu vrei ca sinele tau viitor sa sufere la fel de mult pe cat sufera cel prezent.
Daca nu poti sa faci un lucru dragut pentru tine, poti sa faci totusi un lucru dragut pentru ea? Acea straina misterioasa si nevinovata va trebui sa traiasca la un moment dat intr-o lume pe care tu o creezi pentru ea azi. Cu alte cuvinte, tu esti cea care face patul, dar ea este cea care va dormi in el. Asa ca fii draguta cu ea azi. Fii draguta cu ea in fiecare zi.
Tine minte: Tu esti cea mai buna prietena pe care o are.
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Intrebari pentru reflectie:
Cum te raportezi la notiunea ca tu esti cea mai buna prietena/cel mai bun prieten pe care sinele tau viitor o are/il are? Poti sa impartasesti o poveste personala despre un moment in care ai facut ceva din bunatate si grija pentru sinele tau viitor? Ce te ajuta sa fii statornic in afectiune si simpatie fata de eul tau viitor?
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Elizabeth Gilbert este o autoare americana care este cunoscuta pentru memoriile sale “Eat, Pray, Love”. Extras din aceasta carte.
Elizabeth Gilbert is an American author best known for her memoir Eat, Pray, Love. Excerpted from here.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the notion that you are the best friend your future self has? Can you share a personal story of a time you did something out of kindness and regard to your future self? What helps you stay rooted in affection and sympathy toward your future self?
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28 Past Reflections
On Apr 7, 2023 Leilani Hamer wrote :
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On Nov 14, 2019 Robin D Thompson wrote :
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On May 29, 2019 maria davis wrote :
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On Mar 7, 2018 Nikki wrote :
As a coach who's working with people trying to improve their health and work on changing their habits, I was struck by how relevant this passage is to the people I work with daily. I've been sharing it all morning and have been getting some very positive response so far. I've also shared it with some of the other coaches I work with. As part of our work as coaches, we're exposed to the inner worlds of so many people, so many of whom experience incredible amount of self-hatred, which is bottled inside and creates a lot of suffering. This reminds me of Kristen Neff's research into self compassion and her "letter of self compassion" exercise. Very powerful reading. Mahalo for sharing!
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On Mar 6, 2018 Yogi wrote :
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On Mar 6, 2018 me wrote :
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On Mar 6, 2018 Paul wrote :
This is very timely and I have shared it with our staff here at Pioneer Elementary School. Yesterday we got news that a 5th grader was seriously contemplating suicide. I see in our schools we are not creating the space for healing, expression, or even acceptance. We're trudging on with the same mentality that we had 30 years ago. The childrens dynamics are changing and we need to step up to keep up. Thank you for this.
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On Mar 6, 2018 Kristin Pedemonti wrote :
I totally relate! 2017 became the year of self-care and it was Glorious! I took naps when needed so I was more refreshed. I stayed in more instead of going out more. I often donate to others, this year I spent some of that money on me by receiving coaching. It made a huge difference and impact. I am more centered. <3 I feel really wonderful today and much of it is because I finally shared kindness and compassion with myself rather than with everyone else around me. Yes, I am still kind and compassionate to others and now i include ME in the mix too. It's made all the difference. What helps me stay rooted is seeing the impact little by little. I am more centered. I am more grounded. I feel better more days that not. Be your own best friend too, you are worth it!
2 replies: Annette, Me | Post Your Reply
On Mar 6, 2018 kay wrote :
I laughed when I read this because that’s exactly what I do! I guess I’m kinder to myself than I tho
ught.
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On Mar 6, 2018 Norma wrote :
I do the same thing! I never framed it as a gift to my future self. When I leave my home, I put everything in order and imagine how the house will look when I return. Sometimes, I put a treat on the counter like flowers or a sweet. I love that feeling when I enter my home and feel welcomed!
1 reply: Susan | Post Your Reply
On Mar 6, 2018 Panna wrote :
A beautifully written reminder to treat your future self! It may apply in each and every direction of our lives e.g. eating healthy foods, exercise, achieve what one thinks in terms of learning or performing. Each moment, we are caring for our future self.
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On Mar 6, 2018 Barbara G wrote :
What a wonderful lesson in self-love for: the author as a child; every reader (please teach any children in your life this life-changing lesson); me , a person who sometimes struggles to understand how to fully love myself.
It has also helped me realise that there are lots of small (caring) acts I do for my future self but hadn't thought about them that way - now I shall. Thank you for this inspiring piece. With Love. xx
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On Mar 5, 2018 Sunil, Bangalore wrote :
Impermanence is the only permanence.Every body-cell and every moment is constantly changing.What is today is not tomorrow.Love yourself intimately in the present first to love the other future you including all third party others.
Charity begins at home.Deep meditation and conscious self inquiry is the best example of a personal story. As you find yourself and become peaceful,purer,powerful...... U R equanimous full of love/affection,sympathy/empathy, generosity/gratitude not only for your own-self but also for the world/universe.Nicest thing to do is to connect with your inner-net everyday & moment for mutual happiness and harmony.
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On Mar 4, 2018 Abhishek wrote :
This thought evokes a tenderness in me - the idea of a future self I don't know yet am deeply connected with....playing across time like this has a very humbling effect, also reminding me of the impermanence of it all (including my current self that may seem so SOLID at the moment!)
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On Mar 4, 2018 david doane wrote :
I am the best friend my future self has. To a great extent, I'm a present oriented person with the firm belief that taking good care of my self physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually in the present is also best for my future self. For example, I eat healthily and exercise, I do some letting go of things which clutter my life, I continuing to learn, I have relationships and make an effort to relate well, I do some relaxing and meditating, and I enhance my spirituality, all of which are good for my present self and my future self. I also make some financial savings for my future self. My belief that a happy and healthy present self is best for my future self helps me stay rooted in affection for my future self. Sympathy for my future self doesn't feel right to me, but my belief helps me stay rooted in care for my future self.
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