Frying the Seeds of Anger
क्रोध के बीज का नाश- स्वामी विवेकानंद ( 12 नवंबर, 2012)
जब मैं क्रोधित होता हूं तो मेरा पूरा दिमाग क्रोध की एक लहर जैसा बन जाता है। मैं उसे महसूस कर सकता हूँ, देख सकता हूँ, छू सकता हूँ, आसानी से उसका इस्तेमाल कर सकता हूँ, उससे भिड़ भी सकता हूँ; लेकिन मैं उस क्रोध पर तब तक जीत नहीं पा सकता जब तक मैं उसके मूल कारण तक नहीं पहुँच जाता। जब कोई व्यक्ति मुझे कोई कठोर बात कहता है, तो मुझे ऐसा महसूस होने लगता है जैसे मेरा शरीर गर्म होने लगा है, और वो कठोर बातें वह तब तक कहता रहता है जब तक मैं पूरी तरह क्रोधित नहीं हो जाता और अपने आप को भूल जाता हूँ, और मैं और मेरा क्रोध जैसे एक हो जाते हैं। जब उस व्यक्ति ने मुझ से भला-बुरा कहना शुरू किया, मैंने सोचा कि," मुझे बहुत गुस्सा आने वाला है"। तब तक क्रोध और मैं अलग-अलग चीज़ थे; लेकिन जब मैं पूरी तरह क्रोधित हो चुका होता हूँ तो मैं और क्रोध मानो एक हो जाते हैं।
इन भावनाओं का बीज लगने, जड़ पकड़ने और पनपने से पहले ही कुचल देना ज़रूरी है, इससे पहले की हमें एहसास भी हो कि ये भावनाएं हम पर असर कर रहीं हैं। ज़्यादातर लोगों को तो क्रोध की इन सूक्ष्म अवस्थाओं का ज्ञान भी नहीं होता कि कब ये अवस्थाएँ हमारे अंतःकरण से उभर कर निकल आती हैं। जब एक बुलबुला झील के तल से उभर रहा होता है, हम उसे देख नहीं सकते, बल्कि हम उसे तब तक नहीं देख सकते जब तक वह पानी की सतह तक नहीं पहुँच जाता; वो जब सतह पर आकर फट जाता है और एक छोटी सी लहर बना जाता है, तभी हमें उसके होने का अहसास होता है।
इन लहरों से जूझने में हम तभी कामयाब होंगे जब हम उन्हें शुरूआत में ही पकड़ पाएँगे और जब तक हम उन्हें बड़ा होने से पहले ही पकड़ पाने और वश में कर लेने में सफल नहीं हो जाते, तब तक क्रोध को पूरी तरह से जीत पाना संभव नहीं है। क्रोध के आवेग को काबू में लाने के लिए उसे जड़ पकड़ने से पहले ही ख़त्म कर देना ज़रूरी है; तभी हम उसके बीज को जला कर राख कर पाएँगे। जैसे भुने हुए बीज को ज़मीन पर बोने से पौधा पैदा नहीं हो सकता, वैसे ही क्रोध भी उत्पन्न नहीं हो पाएगा।
--स्वामी विवेकानंद, "योगा अफोरिस्म्स"
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: What does frying the seeds of anger mean to you? How can we control our passions "at their very roots?" Can you share a story that brings out an experience you've had with frying the seeds of anger?
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21 Past Reflections
On Jan 5, 2022 Usha wrote :
I used to find it strange when people are angry. I used to be scared of drunken men as they behaved abnormally and I put this anger under the same category.
My FIL had bad temper. Most of the times I couldn’t figure out why he was angry. He would behave strange, shouting loudly, his face would change and become red. He was also a very jovial person. Two distinct features. I was always confused not sure when he’ll laugh and when he will suddenly burst his anger.
One day he was angry and shouting and I gathered some courage. I told him there was no reason for him to be angry and explained that it was not anyones fault. I was shocked as he started crying. “Oh my goodness, did I do something wrong ?†Was the first thing that came to me. But then I held him and let him cry. My MIL too was a witness and she remained silent. I never saw him angry after that and he had become a calm and contended person. My Pranaams to him. Yesterday was his 12th anniversary.
My FIL had bad temper. Most of the times I couldn’t figure out why he was angry. He would behave strange, shouting loudly, his face would change and become red. He was also a very jovial person. Two distinct features. I was always confused not sure when he’ll laugh and when he will suddenly burst his anger.
One day he was angry and shouting and I gathered some courage. I told him there was no reason for him to be angry and explained that it was not anyones fault. I was shocked as he started crying. “Oh my goodness, did I do something wrong ?†Was the first thing that came to me. But then I held him and let him cry. My MIL too was a witness and she remained silent. I never saw him angry after that and he had become a calm and contended person. My Pranaams to him. Yesterday was his 12th anniversary.
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On Nov 16, 2012 Wes McIntyre wrote :
Thank you, Narendra. Your parsing of emotions and their roots in love is most helpful to me.
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On Nov 16, 2012 Narendra wrote :
What does frying the seeds of anger mean to you? This means objectively witnessing our own emotions and ego, even before they become thought processes and actions (sakshitva). It is being sensitive to changes in our emotions and thought patterns. How can we control our passions "at their very roots?" The root of all emotions is Love. All life forms are in search of love whether it is as sex or as relative love or as absolute love. When we get lost in this search for love in our own ego and selfishness, we develop a spectrum of positive and negative emotions. Any one particular emotion is hard to control by itself. Therefore, we need to access love - the root of all emotions, by meditating on the experience of love in the heart (Bhaktiyoga). This expands our love to include all of creation, thereby minimizing our ego and associated adverse emotions. Can you share a story that brings out an experience you've had with frying the seeds of anger? ... [View Full Comment]
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On Nov 13, 2012 Conrad P. Pritscher wrote :
Rekha Garg's response has been most helpful to me. I have an overinflated ego and I'm frequently unaware of it until I read something as Rkeha said.
Rekha you have my deep gratitude. I hope you continue to respond every week. You have given me great insight.
Warm and kind regards.
Rekha you have my deep gratitude. I hope you continue to respond every week. You have given me great insight.
Warm and kind regards.
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On Nov 13, 2012 Rekha Garg wrote :
I think anger is an emotion where one feels that my own emotions, feelings and needs are more that anyone else's, where one's ego is at its prime. You only get angry at situations and people who are not functioning according to my own made up values or ideas. But the bottom line is: I'm not supreme and so my ideas are not the only way to think and act in the world. When one begins to understand that everyone is at a different stage of evolutionary process and acting accordingly and if you conceivably happen to be at a better place than others in being able to say and do the right thing at the right time,then the best you can do is show compassion for the ones who have not quite reached your level. Such a thought process will help nip the anger in the bud because we have transformed our energy from anger to compassion and done both of us a favor.
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On Nov 13, 2012 Givi wrote :
Being angry is being human, buy controlling anger and surpassing any action that caused it is succeeding. Well said, we must not let it get ahold of our emotions that will lead to actions we wouldn't normally do. We must see the real roots of the problem in order to understand it better.
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On Nov 13, 2012 Wes McIntyre wrote :
I find anger an emotion that is useful. I am not talking about being hostile, or out of control or raging, but certain and empowered. One man used his anger to change a continent ina nonviolent revolution. I quote him here: “I have learned through bitter experience the one supreme lesson: to conserve my anger, as heat conserved is transmuted into energy, even so our anger controlled can be transmuted into power which can move the world.” Mohandas K. Gandhi
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On Nov 13, 2012 Vinelle Vaz wrote :
To fry the seeds of anger - the first step is accepting that you are going to burn your fingertips a few times before you are done. It is one thing to identify the seeds of anger and all negativeness for that matter and another to throw them into the fire. Often, I find myself staring me in the face and asking are you ready to risk it? Most often I chicken out and then remorse accompanies the ripples of negativity that flow out of me and around me. Every once in a while though I make the bold move. The outcome does not appear rewarding in the short term but as it accumulates the risk does not seem risky any more and the trouble seems worth its while...
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On Nov 13, 2012 Namdak wrote :
Anger is Selfishness expressing itself. Frying the seeds of anger is when a thought of selfishness arise in me, as me. I have to recognize and acknowledging it as it is. Then applying the opposite: generosity, being kind.
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On Nov 13, 2012 Rowena wrote :
Prayer and reading the Holy Bible is the best way to feel God presence. It is a very effective tool to fry the seeds of anger.
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On Nov 13, 2012 Geneva wrote :
anger, a normal feeling, versus rage an emotional reaction of anger which can occur both or either internally or externally might be the distinction we are looking for to explain "anger" more fully..
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On Nov 13, 2012 Geneva wrote :
your article on anger is interesting. Finding causes beneath the surface is an important developmental aspect to guiding oneself through it, peacefully. I guess then instead of frying it, I simmer until I can get ahold of what it is that I am angry about and if it is attached in someway to past hurts. Over the years I have come to realize that when I honor my emotion of anger, because it is a natural emotion, I can think more clearly about how to handle it, and guide myself to peacekeeping actions, both internally, and externally. Doing so has also helped me to know more instantly what the anger is about, and what to do about it. Breath on friend.
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On Nov 13, 2012 barry wrote :
frying the seeds is appealing as a metaphor - because I love fried food, By frying the seeds they become edible and I consume the anger, it does not consume me.
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On Nov 10, 2012 amy wrote :
Life gives us cause to be angry at times. Sometimes justified and sometimes not, this anger has got to "come out". The more we "stuff it", the more magnified it becomes. It is especially important to have someone to "talk to" in letting it out/"deflating it". The energy involved with this emotion (anger) wells up when not released in "healthy", more acceptable doses.
Everything in nature, "runs it's natural course". If "the natural course" is interrupted, be it love or anger, it stops. (Figuratively: If our anger stops in our head . . . headaches result. If our anger stops in our heart . . . heartache. If our anger "hits us in the gut" . . . stomach upset). We have to process anger as we do everything else, "naturally". Feel it . . . speak it . . . acknowledge it . . . allow it to run ... [View Full Comment]
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On Nov 10, 2012 david doane wrote :
Anger is not a necessary emotion. For me, that is a truth. I still get angry, but becoming aware that it is not necessary for me to become angry has helped me to be angry much less often. I can not like something. I can firmly and assertively disagree and object. I can state my want, feeling, thought, reaction, opinion, suggestion. I don't have to be angry. I'm not there yet but I am that way more than I used to be. Scripture says charity is the most important virtue. We have many reactions and emotions, including anger -- my reaction doesn't have to be my response. There is a difference between my reaction and my response. We are capable of going the route of charity/compassion/love. When I notice anger bubbling up from some root within me, I don't have to respond with it. I can learn to use the seed and energy of anger to fuel my nonangry response of disagreement, objection, charity, c... [View Full Comment]
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On Nov 9, 2012 Conrad P. Pritscher wrote :
Frying the seeds of anger, to me, means noticing then getting rid of the source of anger. We can control our passions at their very roots by being aware of the roots and patiently eliminating them. A semi-embarrassing story about anger relates to when I was young, I said to myself several times that I would never get angry the way my father got angry. As an 80-year-old man, I still find myself getting angry quickly. I sometimes call it impatience. It is a sign that most, maybe 98%, of what I do is unconscious. As I've gotten older, I am more quickly notice my anger. It helps me to remember Sheldon Kopp's statement: "Learn to forgive yourself, again, and again, and again." When I get angry I am not very present oriented. If I notice my noticing while I am noticing, I tend to get less angry and less impatient. Thanks for the opportunity to respond. Warm and kind regards to everyone.
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On Nov 8, 2012 Victoria Fabling wrote :
When it comes to frying some emotions so I don't become them, I first of all decided as a child which ones I could embrace totally and let go, and which ones to keep at arm's length. This is part of a maturing process, and I would love the opportunity to sit in a circle with some young children and ask them to draw the emotions which cause a ripple of goodness and which ones to notice, but put back on the shelf. Why? because letting them inhabit us and get bigger inside causes a buzzing which is unpleasant to our body and head and everyone around us ... we then have to calm down again, which all seems exhausting. Best not to go there. I expect most children have had this experience and have also had the experience of being so happy they jump up and down with excitement.
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On Nov 8, 2012 ummed wrote :
Passion and Anger used interchangeabily seems wrong. Passion is a holistic positive state, while anger is uncontrolled state. Passion should be nurtured and life be alligned to it more and more. Passion is individual colour of soul in each Jivatma. While anger need to be fried in seed state.