Becoming Free of Our Substitute Life

Image of the Week
Image of the Week
Llegar a ser Libres de Nuestra Vida Sustituta.
--por Ezra Bayda

Un estudiante Zen entró a ver al maestro. Sentándose, le espetó, "Hay algo terriblemente malo en mi!" El maestro lo miró y le preguntó: "¿Qué es eso tan malo?" El estudiante, después de un momento de vacilación, respondió: "Creo que soy un perro." A lo que el maestro respondió: "¿Y cuánto tiempo llevas pensado eso?" El estudiante respondió: "Desde que era un cachorro."
¿Qué tiene que ver esta historia con la práctica espiritual? Todo. Resume el problema humano básico. La próxima vez que te encuentres inmerso en el drama de una fuerte reacción emocional, inundado de pensamientos que crees profundamente, pregúntate cuánto tiempo has creído que estos pensamientos son la verdad. Especialmente date cuenta de los que crees más: "La vida es demasiado dura", "Nadie va a estar allí para mí", "No valgo nada", "Soy un desastre". ¿Cuánto tiempo has creído estos pensamientos? ¡Desde que eras un cachorro!
Estas creencias profundamente arraigadas pueden no ser visibles en la superficie de nuestras mentes; A menudo no somos conscientes de ellas. Sin embargo, nos aferramos a estas creencias arraigadas a fondo, estas identidades básicas, debido a que han enraizado en nuestras propias células-en nuestra memoria celular. Y su huella en nuestras vidas es inconfundible. Sin embargo, con el fin de evitar experimentar la calidad dolorosa de estas creencias e identidades, nos ocupamos continuamente con diversas estrategias de comportamiento – patrones de afrontamiento habitual que nos amortiguan el temblor ansioso de la inseguridad. Estas estrategias son nuestro intento de establecer una cierta sensación de seguridad, protección y familiaridad. Podrían incluirse la búsqueda de logros, hacerse voluntario, tratando de controlar nuestro mundo o retirarnos hacia la seguridad. Pero ¿alguna vez nos dan una sensación de satisfacción genuina? No. Con demasiada frecuencia nos mantienen atrapados en la insatisfacción, sin saber a dónde acudir. Yo llamo a este lugar "la vida sustituta."
Si tenemos la suerte de aspirar a ser libres de nuestra vida sustituta o artificial, podemos empezar a cuestionar nuestros supuestos más básicos, incluyendo nuestro modo de vida. Aunque ese cuestionamiento puede ser doloroso, es algo que todos debemos hacer periódicamente con el fin de avanzar hacia una vida auténtica. La pregunta que va directamente al corazón de la cuestión es: "¿De qué va mi vida en realidad?" El grado en que podamos ser honest@s al responder a esta pregunta determinará nuestra claridad en la comprensión del dilema humano básico- que estamos separados de la conciencia de nuestra verdadera naturaleza.
[...] ¿Tratas de mantener un sentido de orden y control, para evitar sentir el miedo al caos, de las cosas que se están cayendo a pedazos? ¿Tratas de ganar aceptación y aprobación, para evitar el miedo al rechazo, a no encajar? ¿Tratas de sobresalir y alcanzar el éxito, para evitar el temor a sentirse indigno? ¿O buscas el ajetreo de la aventura o el placer, para evitar los agujeros profundos del anhelo y la soledad? Todas estas estrategias tienen una cosa en común: nos mantienen encerrados en nuestra vida artificial o sustituta.
Ninguno de nosotros está más allá de esto. Todos seguimos alguna estrategia para escapar de sentir los miedos que, en silencio, hacen funcionar nuestra vida. Sin embargo, aun cuando sabemos todo acerca de estos temores, la mayoría de las veces no queremos tener nada que ver con ellos. Tal vez esto suene pesimista y desalentador, pero no tiene que serlo. De hecho, es sólo dándonos cuenta de la medida en la que estamos dormidos- el grado en que somos empujad@s por la vanidad de nuestros esfuerzos, la pequeñez de nuestros apegos, o la urgencia por evitar nuestros miedos- que podamos despertar, salir de nuestro estado de sueño, de nuestra manera de vivir sustituta.
Preguntas semilla para la reflexión: ¿Qué significa para ti una vida sustituta? ¿Puedes compartir una experiencia personal de alguna vez en la que te diste cuenta de la pequeñez de tus apegos? ¿Qué te ha ayudado a evitar la tentación de una estrategia de escape cuando estabas ocupándote de tus miedos?


Sacado de Cómo Vivir una Vida Genuína por Ezra Bayda.
Seed Questions for Reflection

What does a substitute life mean to you? Can you share a personal experience of a time you became aware of the smallness of your attachments? What has helped you avoid the temptation of an escape strategy when dealing with your fears?

Moved by this reading? Join a live Awakin Circle to discuss in community.
Join this week
More ways to connect

Add Your Reflection

10 Past Reflections
SU
Oct 6, 2016

WHO AM I ? Body-physical, external & mortal or the life force Soul-latent, inner and eternal ?Thus Substitute is for the body. Not for 'I'- Shivoham, Shivohum-Shivaswarupoham.Nityoham,Shuddhoham,Buddhoham. Advaita Ananda Rupam, Arupam.Brahmoham,Brahmoham,BrahmaSwarupoham.Chidoham,Chidoham, ChidanandRupaha.Google search for the meaning. Either decide  just to meditate on 'I' or get into the debate of body substitute at all ? Cheers with love.....  

DA
DarrickPem Feb 28, 2024
Hello Guys, Glad to Join! :)
MA
Oct 6, 2016
 From our circle of sharing - This lady went to a spiritual program , where every time teacher asked a question, she would answer immediately. Later, when teacher discussed, her answer would change and she will put this new answer in the box. Thus for each question there will be multiple answers from her end. The teacher asked her to wait and watch multiple times but this exercise made her realize that she was over-confident of herself. She was able to become aware of her ego and now can say 'I probably don't know' with comfort. Another story: We run away from being with ourselves , from pain, from facing our disturbance. This woman would always go out or be with people - avoid being with herself until one day, she chose to meditate during a difficult situation. She burst out crying loudly during the meditation but it melted the pain away and calmed her in a permanent way on that hurt. After that she chooses to be with herself during any pain, disturbance and that gives her a cle... View full comment
AM
Oct 5, 2016

 This much I know for sure: I am in "life's womb" (a masquerade of sorts because I can't really see you and you can't totally see me) because I am confined by "the walls" I which I grow.  My Life Source (God) sees me ... But no other!  As long as my "life's umbilical cord remains viable, my "earthly masquerade" will continue.  It's darkness WILL turn to light when God decides I be BORN to HIM.  
Let us finish the race!

DD
Oct 3, 2016

A substitute  is a stand in that serves in place of the real thing.  Personally, it's an act or role that I put on that is other than the real me, expresses something other than my truth.  A person does this out of the belief that the substitute will make a better impression or be better liked or will get further ahead or will get a particular outcome or will be safe, etc.  Attachment to these beliefs is small because it means to trust and accept and value a false self, an imitation, more than the real self.  I started becoming aware of such attachments long ago and am still in the process of letting go of them and expressing and living my real self.  What helps me avoid an escape strategy is trusting my truth, trusting what I am experiencing, and reminding myself that honesty is the best policy and the truth will set me free.  Good experiences including a sense of satisfaction when I am real help me to avoid escaping to a substitute. 

JP
Oct 1, 2016
This writing reminds me  of Mahatma Gandhi's words. " Our thoughts become our feelings. Our feelings become our actions. Our actions become our habits. Our habits become our character. Our character becomes our destiny."  My identity is shaped by many beliefs. One of the basic beliefs is that I should always tell the truth and live my life truthfully. I know from my own experience how difficult it is to always tell the truth. When I do not tell the entire truth, I feel bad, guilty and ashamded. I find no reason to justify it. What is missing is the courage to tell the truth. Telling a lie is self-serving  and self-limiting. And that makes me feel unworthy. What has helped me is to to mindfully and compassionately process my guilt filled thoughts and painful feelings by letting them come and go and slowly and gradually free myself form the grip of the emotional pain. It is by letting the dark clouds come and go I see the light. Mindfulness practice h... View full comment
PO
Poupa Oct 4, 2016
 Thank you all for your observations! They do help! I recognize all of it! What helps me is compassion, the absence of judgment and cynical comments whenever I am identified with that puppy state of mind. It helps me to gain hight, perspective and reconnect with my higher purpose. I remember doing a retreat where I realized how I manipulated myself and my environment with those stories... It was a real wake up call. The most difficult inner judgment I faced were my feeling of shame and guilt... and the only thing that helps me is compassion once again! Thanks for travelling with me "the road lesser travelled" Poupa 
 
BC
Bharat Chauhan Oct 5, 2016
Samuel Smiles said the same thing:
"Sow a thought, reap an action;
Sow an action, reap a habit;
Sow a habit, reap a character;
Sow a character, reap a destiny."

I am blessed that I believe and understand today's wisdom reading.
As said by Jagdishbhai, its inner work and needs continuous awareness to start sowing original rather than substitute thoughts.
Thanks for refreshing my thoughts and in gratitude to souls who are facilitating journey of this less traveled road.
Bharat


 
RA
Sep 30, 2016

The one thing that has helped me avoid the temptation of an escape strategy is knowing the futility of it. No matter what one does, one still has to come face to face with one's fears sooner or later. There is no choice in this matter and life will continue to present circumstances that will force one to look at one's fears. Until one has learnt the lesson involved in the fear and comprehend it fully. It seems to me that we are born for this very reason - to understand ourselves fully. So there is no point in escaping from that. We can only not-escape from things that we are aware of. In that respect, our job becomes one of bringing into awareness the fears and attachments that we are carrying in us. 

KP
Sep 30, 2016

 Substitute life to me means not being completely authentic or being who we were or are meant to be. There is a saying which I firmly believe and which I think is reflected here, "we become the stories we tell." The good news is we are also the author of the stories we tell so we can re-write or re-tell at any time. We can start a new chapter and allow that to become our new story. What role do we wish to play in our story? Are we the hero or victim in our story? Who are the other characters in our story? What journey are we taking? Do we wish to walk a different path? We can write that and live it.