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Giving Within For-Give-Ness

--by Michael Bernard Beckwith (Apr 26, 2011)


People often say that Jesus taught, "You should turn the cheek if someone smites you; you should turn the other cheek if they wrong you."  Many people interpret this as saying that if someone hits you, you should turn the other cheek and let them hit you again.  I don't think he meant that.

I think he meant that you are supposed to give back a different form of energy.  If you are given hate or indifference, you are to give back love, patience and compassion.  Turning the other cheek means you're giving back another energy.  If someone gives you negative energy, you give back positive, affirmative energy -- such as forgiveness.  If someone has done something wrong or destructive to you, you give another energy back.  Instead of "giving as good as you get," you give back a higher form of energy.
 
This is the giving within for-give-ness.
 
You should disengage then from the ego's point of view, which is always saying that you're right, and that as you've been given negative, so you should double it back on the other person.  This is oftentimes where nations live: in revenge.
 
But the practice of forgiveness is a higher state of consciousness because you're acknowledging that someone may have done something wrong, destructive, or not life-enhancing, but you are still going to give back an affirmative energy in their direction.
 
--Michael Bernard Beckwith, in Beyond Forgiveness


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27 Previous Reflections:

 
On Jul 19, 2016 patrice wrote:

 
Thank you so much! This is perfect  for our trying times



On Jul 22, 2011 Lady Opada wrote:

very catchy and realistic.. resort to revenge has no good at all.. we somehow need to surrender our guilt, anger, inferiorities and insecurities from people who we think who treat us wrongly.. the price is for us to pay if we choose to be bitter.. the only way to get through with it is to forgive, first yourself and others...

 



On Jun 28, 2011 Ajeet wrote:

I feel the question of forgiving someone comes into play when someone has done something wrong to u, but if one does believe in the karma theory, that ones past actions are a cause of the present situation, then there is no one to forgive cause no one has committed a mistake - even when they have apprently/physically/vocally done/said something wrong to you - they are just a means for something wrong being done to u in the past, but in reality it's your bad karma that has surfaced via them doing wrong to u! so technically it's your wrong that has come to you via them, blame and forgive your wrong and not the one who has done u wrong, thank the one who has done u worng as he/she was a means with which u realized your mistake in the past..and that it ensure u will not repeat it in the future..



On May 1, 2011 madhur wrote:

Forgiveness is an extremely important topic in relieving one of negative energies. The thought here is beautiful and the space of spiritual learning has been made BIG by the generous, beautiful and true writings. What a space to spend quality time on and learn so much from each-others's experience. I feel indebted to CF group and internet for making it possible for such profound discussions to reach home.  Forgiveness has been cleansing, bringing back time, energy and happiness for me too. When I was able to forgive myself and allow the learning phases instead of challenging and fighting with my own self, it opened up so many possibilities for me. I became much more peaceful, integrated and could do more than before. When forgiving and forgetting come into practice, the stage of getting angry or upset or feeling victimsed may still happen when some wrong is done, as per my experience. However, the speed with which one can forgive and forget increases with practice .I  See full.

Forgiveness is an extremely important topic in relieving one of negative energies. The thought here is beautiful and the space of spiritual learning has been made BIG by the generous, beautiful and true writings.

What a space to spend quality time on and learn so much from each-others's experience. I feel indebted to CF group and internet for making it possible for such profound discussions to reach home. 

Forgiveness has been cleansing, bringing back time, energy and happiness for me too. When I was able to forgive myself and allow the learning phases instead of challenging and fighting with my own self, it opened up so many possibilities for me. I became much more peaceful, integrated and could do more than before.

When forgiving and forgetting come into practice, the stage of getting angry or upset or feeling victimsed may still happen when some wrong is done, as per my experience. However, the speed with which one can forgive and forget increases with practice .I did find myself able to forgive even during the process of getting angry once and now find most grudges vanishing quickly and an enhanced ability to allow learning for others and self. This has been possible with more interaction with CF folks and readings on these wensites.

All of you are responsible for bringing so many positive changes to habits and thoughts which were grounded and causing problems for 30+ yrs.I was even unaware of my role in creating difficulties and had no idea those could be resolved with a change in thinking process. 

Please, keep sharing generously, open-mindedly and with an intention to love and serve as above. It may create magical changes in someone's life in some way.

Love u all!

 

 

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On Apr 29, 2011 gayathri wrote:

Thank you much Edit Lak for taking the time to write and i appreciate the explanations...

Love the audios....very nice....it gets better every time Wednesday!!



On Apr 29, 2011 Ganoba wrote:

 When I am hurt it tells me that i am not flexible enough.

Diamond shatters when struck, a rubber ball would bounce.

I have started seeing hurt as an opportunity to become less rigid in my views, become more open and receptive.

true forgiveness happens when i change my old ways of looking at and evaluating phenomena.



On Apr 28, 2011 Edit Lak wrote:

Gayathri - You touched my heart, and I feel compelled to write  Yes. True forgiveness and ‘all’ forgiveness does mean to ‘Forget’ and it also means to ‘Re-Love’ But, that’s a conscious decision one ‘choose’ to make - in taking the‘affirmative’ steps, and that’s with affirmations, mantras, discussions, meditations and an open heart...     To truly forget and wipe the slate clean, and that is a true reality, to have no anger, falseness, or mental chatter left about the situation, one must genuinely go through the motions of self healing and learning of ‘Forgiveness’     You see we are all human, we will always have feeling , we will always have a hurt, or be hurt of some sort, we will always have a judgement, and a thought from that, of how ‘we’ and only ‘we’ perceive a situation, No matter how slight those things are within us, we will a  See full.

Gayathri - You touched my heart, and I feel compelled to write 

Yes. True forgiveness and ‘all’ forgiveness does mean to ‘Forget’ and it also means to ‘Re-Love’
But, that’s a conscious decision one ‘choose’ to make - in taking the‘affirmative’ steps,
and that’s with affirmations, mantras, discussions, meditations and an open heart...  
 
To truly forget and wipe the slate clean, and that is a true reality, to have no anger, falseness, or mental chatter left about the situation, one must genuinely go through the motions of self healing and learning of ‘Forgiveness’  
 
You see we are all human, we will always have feeling , we will always have a hurt, or be hurt of some sort, we will always have a judgement, and a thought from that, of how ‘we’ and only ‘we’ perceive a situation,
No matter how slight those things are within us, we will always have them, to one degree or another...    
 
So my experience says – Do not react to what you believe is a personal attack or hurt, do not react,
as that reaction is a knee-jerk retaliation, it’s a counter blow, and no matter how nicely people put that into words, it’s still a reaction. So Just stop and take a breath, walk away, then go back into your minds time ‘rewind’ the minds DVD, and honestly look at how the whole situation came about, walk through it, step by step, hear the words, and do have your emotions expressed if need be... 
But, look at the big picture... see the story, re-watch the movie, watch it again if need be, looking at
Yourself in the movie, how did you interact, and impact with the situation,
and were you really meant to be there? 
 
And only then can one make a good decision as to whether you need to ‘act ‘at all upon a matter, and only then, if that’s what you choose to do!!!!.. That self educated, learned, knowledged, sensible reaction can also be a good thing, as it can change a negative course ‘perception thought’ into a better understanding thought..  And in that interim, you’re learning and slowly being self responsible for
‘self actions’, and that self-love and self-care for ‘self’ and others, and that leads to real forgiveness..  But that takes passion, courage, heart, belief, letting go and experience....
 
So many people, talk the forgiveness talk, but, they forget to first walk the forgiveness walk,
And, that responsible walk is to ‘True Genuine Forgiveness’.... and that also take much practice...   But, when that happens, you will see something ‘very special’ happen... I can’t actually tell you what that will be, as it will give it away, and stop that learning  journey from happening, but, it will definitely happen and be very noticeable....  
 
So dont worry, just one step at a time....
 

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On Apr 28, 2011 gayathri wrote:

Forgive??? this is one word i am soo confused about.  So if one forgives, does it mean that you forget also.  even if i am able to forgive i find myself unable to forget (i find the thoughts hounding me).....i do reciprocate with positive/affirmative actions but forgetting is soo tough.  i  wonder WHY.  i understand that to also forget should be implicit for complete forgiveness to happen.  yet, i struggle with forgiving fully....

not all deeds can be forgiven...??

forgive once fine..... does one forgive again and again for similar kind of deeds??

much thanks,

gayathri

 



On Apr 28, 2011 Wednesday wrote:

Some of the audio clips from the powerful circle of sharing around this reading ...



On Apr 28, 2011 sumit wrote:

Good thought to implement in life & result will always be in your favor.

Even In longer run your aura or presence will charge/motivate other people around you. it is as simple as basic maths =    positive+ positve = always positive. 



On Apr 27, 2011 Ganoba wrote:

 The energy of every act ripples in all directions and the tendency toperform that act is seeded in the mind of all involved..

This is the universal law.

isn't it then more sensible to be kind and loving?



On Apr 27, 2011 Prateek wrote:

I think in this world there is a solution of every problem but it's not neccesary that a person himself or herself have that solution may be another person have a solution so we sholud help other and should believe that in our worst day there will be so much of helping hands which are enough for our trouble and happier life will be ahead....................................

Be Happy Friends and think positive

Trouble is always a part of our life so if we handle it with a smile it will it surely minimised, i know that is difficult but the choice is yours-

Minimized Trouble = Not a good day

Maximized Trouble = Worst day.........



On Apr 26, 2011 Ram wrote:

People often forgive others externally (thru gestures, words, actions etc), but I feel that the true forgiveness is about gracefully letting go of the pain or hurt that we experience within (this pain or hurt we believed was caused by an external event or a person). This "letting go" is more of an internal shift than anything external. I feel that this internal shift within the person forgiving manifests in the form of compassion towards others.  See full.

People often forgive others externally (thru gestures, words, actions etc), but I feel that the true forgiveness is about gracefully letting go of the pain or hurt that we experience within (this pain or hurt we believed was caused by an external event or a person). This "letting go" is more of an internal shift than anything external. I feel that this internal shift within the person forgiving manifests in the form of compassion towards others.

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On Apr 26, 2011 Somik Raha wrote:

Loved reading this. To fully practice this recommendation, there are some steps in between, and perhaps the most important one is to discover abundance within. Once that abundance is discovered, many cheeks are available. The practice helps us move from a cost-centric (look what you cost me) to a value-centric (look how inexhaustible I am) perspective. As Jesus said somewhere else, "Seek and ye shall find," why not seek abundance instead of victimhood.



On Apr 26, 2011 Kate wrote:

Ouu, this is such a rich story!  There is a piece to "turn the other cheek" that I wish I could remember better, something about that act that forces the person hitting to treat the person being hit as an equal.  The left hand wouldn't have been used at the time, so the open right hand would have had to be used, if Jesus turned his cheek.  Something in this speaks to the importance of intentional non-violent resistance, and not allowing/accommodating injustice (as possible in one's personal power) - PRIOR to the act of forgiveness.  I'm still sorting the pieces of this version out, in my own life...I think it's important to think about what happens before we forgive, how we sort out what is right and wrong (according to our own truths) first, before we can start the path to giving for giveness, otherwise we miss a crucial step of learning.  Loving-kindness I think one can give 100% of the time, no problem.  Forgiveness, though, I can't put my fin  See full.

Ouu, this is such a rich story!  There is a piece to "turn the other cheek" that I wish I could remember better, something about that act that forces the person hitting to treat the person being hit as an equal.  The left hand wouldn't have been used at the time, so the open right hand would have had to be used, if Jesus turned his cheek.  Something in this speaks to the importance of intentional non-violent resistance, and not allowing/accommodating injustice (as possible in one's personal power) - PRIOR to the act of forgiveness.  I'm still sorting the pieces of this version out, in my own life...I think it's important to think about what happens before we forgive, how we sort out what is right and wrong (according to our own truths) first, before we can start the path to giving for giveness, otherwise we miss a crucial step of learning.  Loving-kindness I think one can give 100% of the time, no problem.  Forgiveness, though, I can't put my finger on exactly what it is... I think merits additional consideration.  Good stuff!  Thank you for passing along!

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On Apr 26, 2011 christopher wrote:

This is a wondeful quote of the day, a blessing to me and to others.thanks for sharing and I think that just about what people need to hear today.



On Apr 26, 2011 Paras wrote:

Forget and Forgive - Thank you



On Apr 26, 2011 P. Murugan wrote:

Our selfish ego makes it hard to forgive. Our societal demands of being competitive and to aspire to be the best makes it even harder to forgive. Forgivesness is sometimes perceived to be demonstrating weakness and this is in direct contradiction of what society has branded us to be. However, I believe that the one who is willing to forgive both intentional and untentional hurt by another party is the one that displays inner strength and character. The forgiven is weakened with love, tolerance and acceptance. The forgiven will be forced onto a learning curve that would invariably lead to better future conduct ...this change might not occur immedaitely but it is certain to come given time. Forgiveness liberates the forgiver and to a lesser extent the forgiven. The forgiver feels less pain and does not waste time and energy in plotting the next move.



On Apr 25, 2011 nestle wrote:

Very impressive thought, thanks..Forgiving is not easy especially when the situation cause you a lot of pain. They say to forgive is to forget but i could really say its hurting forgetting in other means is so much difficult. I have such experiences somewhat like this before, there is one person whom i know for long there's something in him i couldn't understand the way he treated me that feels me like im so unfortune living this world his superiority marks in my mind and pains remains in my heart. For those days I was begging to God to forgive me for what i felt to that person, almost everyday I curse him because of the hatred i felt and sometimes the word REVENGE comes to my mind. But suddenly a miracle happen God will not allow me to do so of the things i planned, the holy spirit works within me. Such this word F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N-E-S-S soften my mind and heart that drives me to forgive the person whom I hated. There was one thing i was discovered after the moment we reconciled. It was  See full.

Very impressive thought, thanks..Forgiving is not easy especially when the situation cause you a lot of pain. They say to forgive is to forget but i could really say its hurting forgetting in other means is so much difficult. I have such experiences somewhat like this before, there is one person whom i know for long there's something in him i couldn't understand the way he treated me that feels me like im so unfortune living this world his superiority marks in my mind and pains remains in my heart. For those days I was begging to God to forgive me for what i felt to that person, almost everyday I curse him because of the hatred i felt and sometimes the word REVENGE comes to my mind. But suddenly a miracle happen God will not allow me to do so of the things i planned, the holy spirit works within me. Such this word F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N-E-S-S soften my mind and heart that drives me to forgive the person whom I hated. There was one thing i was discovered after the moment we reconciled. It was unexpressingly felt somewhat like thorns was pulled out from one side of your heart .Thus, forgiving is also releasing of pains and is great for healing wounds in your hearts. Forgive one another for everyone of us is not perfect to what we expect or not to do wrong. For God Himself did it for us sinners. May GOD bless everyone!

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On Apr 25, 2011 Kinjal wrote:

Great passage, thanks for sharing :) While I try to implement this philosophy/kindess gesture, I often find myself in a situation where I feel forgiving may interfere with standing ground on certain things, very much realizing that this is not about the ego or being right, even just to get ur understanding across to the other person. so if I choose to turn the other cheek, there have been times that I have been misunderstood which has led to future hurt... but regardless of whether it is turning the other cheek to reciprocate with emotions of kindess and forgiveness or turning the other cheek to let that person smite you again, either way, I believe that there comes a point when self realization or conscience from the soul awakens.



On Apr 25, 2011 Ricky wrote:

Trusting the deepest inner truth is key to this concept of forgiveness.  While religion can be the path to God, it actually is the external mind manifestations of what is internal heart vibrational connection to all that is.  That said, forgiveness is an extention of dropping the ego and embracing the experience we refer to as life.  We all may be doing our best each day, and moving closer to the realization that in 'each experience the infinite is having a finite experience' (quote from one of my teachers).   Ego sets boundaries, creates judgments, perpetuates dualism-good vs evil, right vs wrong...Forgiveness is a tangible act of remembering we are much more than the vessel we inhabit during this lifetime and that kindness and acts of generosity are healing in light of the distraction of ego centered action.  When I was young and impressionable, involved in the activitie  See full.

Trusting the deepest inner truth is key to this concept of forgiveness.  While religion can be the path to God, it actually is the external mind manifestations of what is internal heart vibrational connection to all that is.  That said, forgiveness is an extention of dropping the ego and embracing the experience we refer to as life.  We all may be doing our best each day, and moving closer to the realization that in 'each experience the infinite is having a finite experience' (quote from one of my teachers).   Ego sets boundaries, creates judgments, perpetuates dualism-good vs evil, right vs wrong...Forgiveness is a tangible act of remembering we are much more than the vessel we inhabit during this lifetime and that kindness and acts of generosity are healing in light of the distraction of ego centered action.  When I was young and impressionable, involved in the activities of the church, I was constantly alarmed by the lack of Love shown between members of the church.  A common concept I heard within the gossip was hypocrisy.  Members were saying one thing within the church walls, and their actions in the community were broadcasting something quite different.  Forgiveness seemed like an act of pulling teeth.  As I have come to the present time of my journey, I realize we have tendencies to be 'confused by the idea we are a person' (quote from another of my teachers), someone who can be hurt and wounded by the actions of another.  The times I am most at peace is when in the midst of a conflict, my heart watches and marvels at the ego's struggle for righteousness and survival, realizing at that moment there is just experience, and no need for forgiveness...just Love.   

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On Apr 25, 2011 Edit Lak wrote:

Wow:  What does one say to this?  What do we say...   Other than - Thank You... I’ve just been transported back into my childhood, sitting alone in a catholic church, listening to the service of ‘Forgiveness’... And thus the story of my learning started...   After reading Michael Bernard Beckwith’s passage, I turn my computer off and settled in for the night, with the seeds of the question now firmly planted, I wait for my spirit to talk and guide me of ‘"What is your experience of for-give-ness?"   So, as my spirit and inner child have no sense of time, I awoke at 2am this morning to have a mental dialogue about this topic of forgiveness, and to address this issue within me, on what; One great spiritual leader Beckwith has quoted, about, another great spiritual leader - Jesus… My life has just changed.. I have stopped all day to allow my though to transcend to paper.   And this is what even  See full.

Wow:  What does one say to this?  What do we say...   Other than - Thank You...

I’ve just been transported back into my childhood, sitting alone in a catholic church, listening to the service of ‘Forgiveness’... And thus the story of my learning started...
 
After reading Michael Bernard Beckwith’s passage,
I turn my computer off and settled in for the night, with the seeds of the question now firmly planted, I wait for my spirit to talk and guide me of ‘"What is your experience of for-give-ness?"
 
So, as my spirit and inner child have no sense of time, I awoke at 2am this morning to have a mental dialogue about this topic of forgiveness, and to address this issue within me, on what;
One great spiritual leader Beckwith has quoted, about, another great spiritual leader - Jesus… My life has just changed.. I have stopped all day to allow my though to transcend to paper.
 
And this is what eventuated in the stillness and quiet of my time…
 
Do we really, truly, honestly as spiritual people within society still see that
‘turning the other cheek’ must be counter acted on, or even having to react with a form of a ‘something’ even a giving back of a positive energy form is a reaction, and that action/reaction at first hasn’t been dissected in its purest form to know what energy level, or, thought of a healing love will be sent out, and for what purpose? Or, if any action is needed at all.. 
 
I would think that our only effort should be to, to just ‘Be’, as just being doest incite for the slightest bit of a mental sabotage of the emotions rising…
 
But
Before any lesson of the blow is learnt,
Before any lesson of the circumstance is understood,
Before an understanding can be seen,
Before a judgment is ever so slightly made, and, reacted to
A true forgiveness of ‘forgiving thy-self’ first is needed, to establish and allowing everything else to ‘stop’ for that ‘moment’ without a reaction… then, it is only then, with clarity of the lesson in human interaction can we make peace – That love of ‘self’ first, is then god essence within us that can truly mend, heal, fix, repair, learn, or even just let go off situation, because the situation may not belong to anyway…
 
So, as we teach our children not to react, we should also remind ourselves ‘not to react’ because any form of an action - is a real reaction -that cannot be undone - no matter how loving and innocent, after the fact…
 
Forgiveness for me is the learning of myself, and, forgiving myself first - Everyday
And only then, can I do any good,  in genuinely forgiving others..
As every interaction, has an equal and opposite reaction!!! 
No circumstance, situation, or, reaction is ever the same…
No matter how similar, but, never the same.. So, I try everyday to forgive my actions first.
It would be an injustice to ‘self’ and ‘spirit’ if we ran a pro-forma reaction on an old head program, and just say it, but did not practiced that, as forgiveness is the door to all ‘love’
Many waters have flown under the forgivness bridge of mine, some I have been successful at forgiveing, some I have failed at...   But I continue to try everyday the best I can..
 
Now, I really want to say - Thank you so very much, in further opening up my spirit and soul in taking ‘Forgiveness’ to a different level, to a deeper honest level of purity, without masks....  
It is with this debate, and pushing the boundaries of such, that we go further and further into the ‘heart’ and ‘truth’ of the matter of ‘US’               Much Thanks

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On Apr 24, 2011 Shariq wrote:

 As children we are closer to our feelings and we are motivated to repair our broken relationships by forgiving because we rather be friends and play together. Being able to truly forgive is more of a possibility when we are able to be in touch with our innocence. Dag Hammarskjold says this well:  "Forgiveness is the answer to the child’s dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.” But then, it can be easier to forgive others then our own selves since it often requires us to let go of our unforgiving selves.  See full.

 As children we are closer to our feelings and we are motivated to repair our broken relationships by forgiving because we rather be friends and play together. Being able to truly forgive is more of a possibility when we are able to be in touch with our innocence. Dag Hammarskjold says this well:  "Forgiveness is the answer to the child’s dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.” But then, it can be easier to forgive others then our own selves since it often requires us to let go of our unforgiving selves.

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On Apr 24, 2011 Conrad P. Pritscher wrote:

Hi Viral,  Thanks for giving me the opportunity to respond to the beautiful statements and questions you send. The following was written before I read the piece on forgiveness.   Giveness is similar to kindness. Living well is being kind. Living is for being kind; for giving. I once read that a root of the meaning of the word " understanding” meant that when one understands, one forgives.   Written after I read Bernard’s comments on forgiveness:   Excellent and inspirational. If we constantly forgive, we are constantly kind. When we are kind,  I expect there will be fewer occurrences precipitating the need to turn the other cheek. Forgiveness is for giving/kindness. The last listing on Sheldon Kopp's eschatological laundry list is: "learn to forgive yourself again, and again, and again.” The first item on his list is: "this is it." You continue to have my deep gratitude.   Conrad Pritscher    See full.

Hi Viral,

 Thanks for giving me the opportunity to respond to the beautiful statements and questions you send.

The following was written before I read the piece on forgiveness.

 

Giveness is similar to kindness. Living well is being kind. Living is for being kind; for giving. I once read that a root of the meaning of the word " understanding” meant that when one understands, one forgives.

 

Written after I read Bernard’s comments on forgiveness:

 

Excellent and inspirational. If we constantly forgive, we are constantly kind. When we are kind,  I expect there will be fewer occurrences precipitating the need to turn the other cheek. Forgiveness is for giving/kindness.

The last listing on Sheldon Kopp's eschatological laundry list is: "learn to forgive yourself again, and again, and again.” The first item on his list is: "this is it."

You continue to have my deep gratitude.

 

Conrad Pritscher

 

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On Apr 24, 2011 rahul wrote:

When someone hurts/harms me out of ignorance, I find it much easier to 'turn the other cheek,' than when I'm hurt with intention.  What has helped me when I'm intentionally attacked is 1. to observe my bodily pain  2. recognize that the other person is in pain too, and the pain they're giving me is just a small fraction of their own pain  3. remember the most severe physical pain I've been able to endure calmly so I can muster the strength to keep calmly observing  4. speak only after pain has mostly subsided  5. let first words be those of acknowledgement, followed by apology for the role I played in the other's pain  6. hug or smile as soon as possible, if possible :-)  Marriage has taught me more about forgiveness than anything else in my life because arguments and even silent disagreement spoil the atmosphere more quickly than anything else, laying the basis for continual escalation.  Paraphrasing the wisdom of Sun Tzu as heard from a 4th gra  See full.

When someone hurts/harms me out of ignorance, I find it much easier to 'turn the other cheek,' than when I'm hurt with intention.  What has helped me when I'm intentionally attacked is 1. to observe my bodily pain  2. recognize that the other person is in pain too, and the pain they're giving me is just a small fraction of their own pain  3. remember the most severe physical pain I've been able to endure calmly so I can muster the strength to keep calmly observing  4. speak only after pain has mostly subsided  5. let first words be those of acknowledgement, followed by apology for the role I played in the other's pain  6. hug or smile as soon as possible, if possible :-)  Marriage has taught me more about forgiveness than anything else in my life because arguments and even silent disagreement spoil the atmosphere more quickly than anything else, laying the basis for continual escalation.  Paraphrasing the wisdom of Sun Tzu as heard from a 4th grader, "Those who win arguments will want to argue more.  Those who lose arguments will want to win arguments and thus argue more."  Forgiveness is the only path to peace and sanity.

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On Apr 24, 2011 Colleen wrote:

Yes, Dara! I too have experienced forgiveness as strength. I grew up surrounded by the teachings of "turn the other cheek" and yet often heard discussions about the limits of this way. People would often say you can't just let others "walk all over you". In other words, there were conditions put on 'turning the other cheek' depending on the actions of the other and forgiveness as such had its limits and was perceived as weak. I appreciate how Beckwith encourages us to find the strength of forgiveness, a strength so great it demands us to be wholly aware and loving in the present moment, unconditionally.  This is a practice. As a practice, how can we do something unconditionally loving for someone in our lives whose actions we have perceived as destructive?



On Apr 24, 2011 Dhara wrote:

Learning to forgive is so hard but I only realized how important it is to forgive when I needed for-give-ness for something I have done;  and when someone forgave me, that's when I realize how important it is to forgive.  That feeling is incredible, it's like getting a second chance at life and allowing me to be a human; Not perfect but somone on a path of learning. 

There are many times when people have been so generous to me and that has made me realize how important it is to forgive others and self.  

Forgiving is a STRENGTH.  It relieves you from a lot of negative energy and brings internal joy, peace and positive outlook.