Going Beyond the Roles We Play
निभाई जा रही भूमिकाओं से परे जाना- मैक पॉल (१४ जनवरी, २०१५)
हम बहुत ही वास्तविक लगते हैं। लेकिन हमारे शरीर असल में हमारे नहीं हैं, और हमारा उन पर कोई नियंत्रण नहीं है, न उनके आने पर, न उनके जाने पर। हम सिर्फ भूमिकाएं निभाते हैं और खुद को समझाने की कोशिश करते हैं कि वो सच हैं। इस प्रक्रिया को जब हम बच्चों में देखते हैं तो हमें बहुत कुछ समझ आता है क्योंकि उनमें यह प्रक्रिया बिलकुल साफ़ दिखाई देती है। वे अलग-अलग पहचान को इस तरह पहनते-उतारते हैं जैसे वो टी शर्ट्स पहन-पहन कर देख रहे हों। जब उन्हें कोई ऐसी भूमिका मिल जाती है जो उन्हें पसंद आ जाए, तो वे उस भूमिका का समर्थन करने वाली कहानी से अपनी पहचान बना लेते हैं, और फिर वे दो परस्पर विरोधी गुटों में बंट जाते हैं। बड़े लोग भी यही करते हैं लेकिन उनकी पहचान औचित्य (justification) की बहुत सी घनी परतों से ढकी होती हैं जो उन्हें उचित लगती हैं।
शेक्सपियर ने इस बात को ठीक ही समझा था जब उन्होंने कहा कि, "सारी दुनिया एक मंच है और सभी पुरुष और स्त्रियां केवल खिलाड़ी हैं।" भूमिकाऐं अच्छी चीज़ हैं क्योंकि वे हमें वे संरचना और उद्देश्य देती हैं। लेकिन जब उन भूमिकाओं पर जिनको हम निभा रहे हैं, हम वास्तव में विश्वास शुरू करने लगते हैं, तो खुद को और दूसरों को उन पर अधिक से अधिक बलिदान करने को तैयार हो जाते हैं।
खेल-कूद एक आदर्श उदाहरण हैं। वे आम तमाशा हैं जो कि बिल्कुल अर्थहीन हैं और जिनसे ज़िंदगी पर कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता। हम भारी मात्रा में उन पर अपनी भावनाएं दाव पर लगा देते हैं जो कि मानव बलि का एक अपेक्षाकृत मामूली रूप है। शुक्र है, हम अब लोगों को स्टेज पर खींचते हुए लाकर उनकी गरदनें नहीं काटते और उनके दिल नहीं चीर देते लेकिन अब भी हम उन्हें फूटबाल की यूनिफार्मों में सजाते हैं और ताली बजाते हैं जब वे खेल में अपने सिरों पर चोट खा रहे होते हैं। मैंने वर्ल्ड कप में जर्मनी की ब्राज़ील पर विजय हो जाने पर ब्राज़ीली प्रशंसकों का एक फोटो देखा। अगर मुझे कारण ठीक से पता न होता तो मैंने सोचा होता कि वे अपने बच्चों को जंगली कुत्तों द्वारा चीरता हुआ देख रहे हैं।
धर्म और और साधना का उद्देश्य है कि हम अपने व्यक्तिगत नाटक से परे एक बड़े और उत्कृष्ट सच को देख पाएं। हर इंसान जो किसी भी धर्म को मानता है, इस बात को समझता है। फिरभी, धर्म का पालन करना काफी हद तक पौराणिक कथाओं को लेकर आपसी बराबरी पर दुःखद लड़ाईयां करना ही रह गया है।
सचेतता का अर्थ यह नहीं है कि हम किस बात पर विश्वास करते हैं। यह केवल इस क्षण को उत्सुकता और बिना आलोचना की दृष्टि से देखने का एक सरल तरीका है। वर्तमान क्षण बहुत अच्छा लगता है। हम ऐसा सुनते हैं और आनंद की स्थिति की कल्पना करते हैं। फिर हम वर्तमान पल में थोड़ा सा समय बिताते हैं और पाते हैं कि वह मुख्य रूप से एक विचार के बाद दूसरे विचार से बना है। हम इस बात को नापसंद करते हैं और शिकायत करते हैं कि हम अपने मन के विचारों को रोक नही पाते। मन रुकते नहीं। मन विचार करते हैं। हम केवल कहानियों के अंतहीन प्रवाह को ध्यान से देख सकते हैं और वास्तव में बिना उन पर विशवास किये, उन पर विश्वास करने की अपनी इच्छा के साक्षी हो सकते हैं। यह इतना आसान नहीं है।
विचार के लिए मुख्य प्रश्न: आप इस धारणा से क्या समझते हैं कि "जब हम वास्तव में जिन भूमिकाओं को हम निभा रहे हैं, उन पर में विश्वास करना शुरू कर देते हैं, तो हम अधिक से अधिक खुद को और दूसरों को बलिदान करने को तैयार हो जाते हैं?" क्या आप अपना कोई व्यक्तिगत अनुभव बाँटना चाहेंगे जब आपने अपने आप को अपनी भूमिका में बहुत ज्यादा विश्वास करते पाया हो? हम अपने आप को और जिन भूमिकाओं को हम निभा रहे हैं, उन दोनों के बीच के अंतर के प्रति कैसे और जागरूक हो सकते हैं?
Mack Paul is an Oklahoma native. He began meditating to help cope with the stresses of his job teaching junior high special ed students. He retired in 2013 and now works as a special ed teaching assistant.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the notion that "when we really begin believing in the roles we play, we become more and more willing to sacrifice ourselves and others to them?" Can you share a personal story of a time that you caught yourself believing too much in your role? How can we be more mindful of the separation between ourselves and the roles we play?
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21 Past Reflections
On Sep 19, 2023 Lawal Dahiru wrote :
I have written a Play and shares the same Tittle" the role we play " .
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On Jan 16, 2015 david doane wrote :
Amdee -- I find myself resisting your message. I'm glad what you say works for you.
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On Jan 15, 2015 Sorry for venting wrote :
Have you ever met a rabbit who turned out to be a snake?
Today I greeted a deacon I have long avoided. I wish I could share my story but suffice it to say like Christ, he wrongly crucified me. Though I'd like to think I forgave him, I clearly haven't.
Moral of the story, no matter one's role in life, beneath it all, lies a person!
I do not weak out snakes ( much less trust them).
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On Jan 14, 2015 Amdee wrote :
Mindfulness evolves truly only when we do our meditation with complete surrender to God; when daily at dawn, we start our meditation with a heart filled with love & devotion for God and pray in supplicant mood that, "My Lord, my beloved, I am yours, help me to become that what I ought to become; for the purpose I got this 'Human Birth.'" Then He opens all doors for us which only leads to Him.
We attract God with our higher traits like good character, humility, tolerance, surrender before each & everything, gratitude and undaunted faith. And when by efficiently using these qualities we pass all our toughest trials of life and genuinely play our part by our full cooperation then we become His favorite.
And then actually begins the real effect of mindfulness; then He supplies everything for our complete growth: unconditional love for Him as well as for His creatures, strength, confidence and eternal bliss. After achieving this state what we find is that the... [View Full Comment]
2 replies: Jo, Ada | Post Your Reply
On Jan 13, 2015 AJ wrote :
I work in a school where we have an entire area dedicated to children who cannot/do not control their bodies. They have positive and negative energies randomly coming out of them in the form of inappropriate behavior for a classroom. Without an ability to properly be a student, these kids require a lot of time, effort, patience and creativity to support them in learning.
Blessed be the one, who while in this world, can healthily and respectfully live it. We were not made for this world or for this temporary body . . . But we do have "some hoops to jump through" to get to "our true home".
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On Jan 13, 2015 Rick Brooks wrote :
Seems to me that separating the roles we play from our "real," authentic selves is not quite so easy as we'd like to think. Yes, like everyone else, I act in ways that, consciously or not, are consistent with roles in which I find myself. But aren't those ways of being and doing as revealing of our true nature as everything else? Isn't that what culture and norms are about? And are all such behaviors inherently less honest/less moral/less noble than "spiritual practice" that is also a role?
I wonder if all the stuff that occupies my mind is so...what? Distracting? Untrue? Better to avoid than to honor? Are we not the impermanent sum total of all we intend and appear to be and all the roles we have played in the whirl of nowness? These kinds of questions can find clearer answers in certain circumstances rather than others. When we ask ourselves "do I have to do this...even if I don't want to?" such doubt (or is it genuine, earnest inquiry?) may seem lot ea... [View Full Comment]
1 reply: Susan | Post Your Reply
On Jan 13, 2015 Syd wrote :
I have gradually lost touch with myself by subordinating myself to roles and social conventions, even seeing myself through someone else's eyes. The problem is I felt my role in life should fulfill me and in certain ways it did. Now with no role in life it creates this disillusionment about life. It makes me feel lost and I sometimes feel my mind spinning and drifting into this psychic pain. It seems rather than trying to deny my pain there seems to be this need to become my pain and this is gradually dissolving the pain.
In my becoming my pain and living with serenity from within, I have noticed my mind starting to create this opening to quieter mind. My mind seems to be more clear and I feel myself becoming aware of the Supreme Being itself is my source and origin of a true identity. There is no concept or belief here and is beginning to be a direct experience of simply resting. It is like I am dropping a social consciousness, my role, and living behind my experience. I am beginning... [View Full Comment]
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On Jan 13, 2015 debbie wrote :
It takes many years for most of us to really see and acknowledge the roles we have played - the roles we have been encouraged to play and the roles we assume in order to avoid dealing with the challenges of life. When this awareness comes to us, we can begin to learn the lessons that result from the challenges. And when those lessons are accepted, we can be our authentic and true spirit.
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On Jan 12, 2015 Jaikishan Hirani wrote :
We generally speak to designations, positions, status of the people. The way we speak to a person having Mercedes and another one riding a cycle rickshaw speaks the truth for itself. For example, when we go for an interview in a certain building, we speak to different people playing different roles. First we speak to a watchman, then to a receptionist, then a manager and then the director of the company. Our tone changes with every person we speak to. So what is our true identity? The universal truth is we all are a pure soul. Even our body is not ours. We say "this is my hand" we never say "this is me" showing our hand. So my body is rented for this birth while I AM A PURE SOUL. and if I speak to everyone as a pure soul there will be no fear, no ego, no attitude. We define our identity with our roles we play but the true identity of every individual is HE/SHE IS A PURE SOUL.
1 reply: Susan | Post Your Reply
On Jan 11, 2015 david doane wrote :
We each have many roles. They're part of life. We are more and more willing to sacrifice ourselves and others to the roles we believe in. I can't take on a role without sacrificing some of me to the role. How much of me gets sacrificed varies from role to role and depends on how much I invest in the role. Some roles mean more to me than other roles. Some roles are more dominating than other roles. Other people get sacrificed to a role to the extent that the role gets in the way of me and others meeting as persons. That's only a problem when me or the other want to meet as persons. Many interactions in life are role specific and functional, not personal, and the persons aren't into meeting as persons. The furnace repairman and I aren't there to meet as persons. Roles like mother, doctor, priest, celebrity are very dominating, and many who take on those roles never take them off and lose themselves as persons. Some ... [View Full Comment]
1 reply: A | Post Your Reply
On Jan 11, 2015 Abhishek wrote :
We are into a mass pretending joint-action, in that so much of what we do, say or share may not be 'us'.
An immediate example is as I write this comment, am I really going to write whatever I want? I think not - there is a certain mindfulness about the space and who may read this and so on....
But that role also becomes the boundary and limits me from exploring what lies beyond (and in this case expressing what lies beyond)......
Like saying 'what the #&@%' if I feel that about a reading....I won't do that, because it is not the role I play in this space....
But its good once in a while to get tired of being wise or being correct or holding a role I guess.....and rest in just being....
How that will really look like....I wonder.....but to pull that off will need a collective 'undressing' of our roles....
Else, a variant of a Bollywood movie dialogue comes to me 'Jab tak ek role baat karega....ek role sunega' (Till you speak from a role, I will hear as a role)
In our own ecosystem ... [View Full Comment]
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On Jan 9, 2015 navin sata wrote :
saint relate this bodies as a rental house for short time on our journey of life eternal or physical ,mental.everything is given to us for this journey,eyes to see[with sunshine] ears to hear melodies of creation nature,crying of child when he dosent get toys, laughter when he is happy playing with toys.[we grown up do the same thing with material toys,just forms changed .] skin to feel loving touch of beloved]everything is given.we make mistake when we try to posses this is mine and not yours [me mine you tours is root cause of all this endless cycle] then we develop attachment to my body,my family, my house ,my city ,my country,my race religion etc.when my kids were young to protect them from bad friends we all play this role.whatever good intention may be we forget life is ???. to enjoy any sport one must think end resault its a game.[to go see football game in cold cold weather like in greenbae is silly drama where fan and players are way far f... [View Full Comment]
1 reply: Always | Post Your Reply
On Jan 9, 2015 susan schaller wrote :
"Religion" is related to "obligation." Both descended from the Latin word for "to bind." Our roles and illusions of a separate self, the self construct known of our personality, separate us from our true connected Self, bound to all of LIFE. This is so easy to say and so hard to reify. I keep practicing and failing to let go of my roles and my irrelevant past. I saw my grown children over the holldays, and their adult status was a constant reminder to let go of the image of an everyday mother. I am not that. Each day I can re-make myself. Each day I can strive to become the zero Gandhi aimed for, not empty, but a channel full of life and love.