We each have many roles. They're part of life. We are more and more willing to sacrifice ourselves and others to the roles we believe in. I can't take on a role without sacrificing some of me to the role. How much of me gets sacrificed varies from role to role and depends on how much I invest in the role. Some roles mean more to me than other roles. Some roles are more dominating than other roles. Other people get sacrificed to a role to the extent that the role gets in the way of me and others meeting as persons. That's only a problem when me or the other want to meet as persons. Many interactions in life are role specific and functional, not personal, and the persons aren't into meeting as persons. The furnace repairman and I aren't there to meet as persons. Roles like mother, doctor, priest, celebrity are very dominating, and many who take on those roles never take them off and lose themselves as persons. Some roles, like dad, I'm meant to keep on particularly for my young children. With them I have a job/role to fulfill -- I'm not there to be a whole person -- I can be a whole person with their mother. Roles aren't necessarily bad. They can be useful. A role is a problem when I use it to hide behind. I did that when I was a young teacher and I got called on it by some students, which woke me up. I've pretty much given up hiding behind roles. I've become mindful of the separation between me and the roles I play. It's important that I have my roles and my roles don't have me. Over time I've gotten more clear about that.
On Jan 15, 2015A friend wrote :
Good for you! I could take a lesson from this! Thank you and Amen!
On Jan 11, 2015 david doane wrote :
We each have many roles. They're part of life. We are more and more willing to sacrifice ourselves and others to the roles we believe in. I can't take on a role without sacrificing some of me to the role. How much of me gets sacrificed varies from role to role and depends on how much I invest in the role. Some roles mean more to me than other roles. Some roles are more dominating than other roles. Other people get sacrificed to a role to the extent that the role gets in the way of me and others meeting as persons. That's only a problem when me or the other want to meet as persons. Many interactions in life are role specific and functional, not personal, and the persons aren't into meeting as persons. The furnace repairman and I aren't there to meet as persons. Roles like mother, doctor, priest, celebrity are very dominating, and many who take on those roles never take them off and lose themselves as persons. Some roles, like dad, I'm meant to keep on particularly for my young children. With them I have a job/role to fulfill -- I'm not there to be a whole person -- I can be a whole person with their mother. Roles aren't necessarily bad. They can be useful. A role is a problem when I use it to hide behind. I did that when I was a young teacher and I got called on it by some students, which woke me up. I've pretty much given up hiding behind roles. I've become mindful of the separation between me and the roles I play. It's important that I have my roles and my roles don't have me. Over time I've gotten more clear about that.