Exhausting Quest For Perfection

 As a "recovering overachiever" who spent much of her life feeling not good enough, this post touched me deeply. Now 50, life is more about the smaller connections, the deep value of one to one rather than the urgent feeling of "I must make a huge impact"  or seeking approval. For years I've danced to my own drummer (rather than march, I choose dance ;) ) and haven't cared what others thought of me in certain contexts. I've never really fit it, I'm more like a misfit toy ( from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer) than I am some Barbie doll of perfection. For example, I use bubbles at the World Bank as a way to calm nerves, difuse tension and connect on a more human levecl. I've done it since day one when I brought bubbles to the interview panel. ;) I still do it 3 years later. Embracing those things which make me unique, like a never-ending sense of childlike wonder, helps me to stay grounded. I was tested on this last week as a Manager at the World Bank did not at all resonate with whom I am or how I do my job. I've consistently been rathed 6.8 out of 7 in countless other trainings. And so I let it go, this person sees the world through grey lens, me through pink and yellow and that is OK. I know who I am and like each of us I've been given gifts to share. The only way I know how to share them is by being me with my Pink bangs, my brightly colored clothes, yes, mostly pink these days and my "slight exuberance" as I move through each experience. As someone once said, "be yourself, everyone else is taken" :) 

 I was blessed to learn from my parents that contentment and doing the best you can according to your capacity is the key to feeling happy and making progress.The other precious lesson they taught me is listen to you inner voice and follow the right path. We learn such precious lessons by not what they say but by what they do.. They provided role modeling by their actions. They were authentic and humble, not all -knowing.

In my teaching  adolescent students and counseling their parents being obsessed with  the perfection syndrome. They are driven by being perfect giving no room and acceptance for being human, making mistakes, accepting them and learning from our own mistakes.They want to appear best and strong and perfect in the eyes of others. It sure makes them unhappy and miserable. I help them by sharing my mistakes with them and learning from my mistakes. We do not need to forget that we all are human beings like others prone to making mistakes, learning from our mistakes, getting help from others when we fall down,getting up and moving on. The acceptance of  being who we are makes us connected with others who  are just like us, Self worth, worth coming from within, is  what makes us feel rich, beautiful, contented and happy.

Namaste!
Jagdish P Dave