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You Carry Your Wound

--by Osho (Nov 30, 2010)


You carry your wound. With the ego, your whole being is a wound. And you carry it around. Nobody is interested in hurting you, nobody is positively waiting to hurt you; everybody is engaged in safeguarding his own wound. Who has got the energy? But still it happens, because you are so ready to be wounded, so ready, just waiting on the brink for anything.

You cannot touch a man of Tao. Why? - because there is no one to be touched. There is no wound. He is healthy, healed, whole. This word whole is beautiful. The word heal comes from the whole, and the word holy also comes from the whole. He is whole, healed, holy.

Be aware of your wound. Don't help it to grow, let it be healed; and it will be healed only when you move to the roots. The less the head, the more the wound will heal; with no head there is no wound. Live a headless life. Move as a total being, and accept things.

Just for twenty-four hours, try it - total acceptance, whatsoever happens. Someone insults you, accept it; don't react, and see what happens. Suddenly you will feel an energy flowing in you that you have not felt before.

-- Osho


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57 Previous Reflections:

 
On Mar 11, 2015 Smitha2 wrote:

 



On Mar 6, 2014 Suman wrote:

 its great, i accept this.



On Nov 17, 2013 Marta wrote:

 



1 reply: Marta | Post Your Reply
On May 25, 2012 Amit Rai wrote:
 it is so beautiful...the wound is no where if u don't plant it....live a headless life...

On Apr 27, 2012 Sunil Krishnan wrote:
 Kind hearts are the gardens, Kind thoughts are the roots, Kind words are the flowers, Kind deeds are the fruits.

On Mar 22, 2012 muqthiyar wrote:
 this is the inspirable


On Mar 4, 2012 ana wrote:
 yes, so easy to forget the choice to be silent.............

On Feb 17, 2012 Catherine Todd wrote:

 Funsho Olokesusi wrote:" susanschaller wrote about going from I to We. Seems very simple but friends i put it to you that is a whole journey between those two words. in between is a gully that has swallowed lots of lives, dreams, potentials, oppurtunities. There is a fragment of you (what makes you complete) in another. Being able to live for other people is living your life to the fullest. Your kind deeds are coiled up in a boomerang it always bounces back at your with greater force. Add value to someone everyday of your life" Thank you Funsho! This is one of the most important comments I've read here. I thought there was something wrong with me that I didn't "get it" right off. I have spent my entire life trying to cross that gully; trying to climb out of that gully that I was born into; that I fell into. Trapped. But perhaps no longer. I will learn to soar above. Gracias! Equals Grace. To the Divine, Please show me The Way. "The winds of gra  See full.

 Funsho Olokesusi wrote:"
susanschaller wrote about going from I to We. Seems very simple but friends i put it to you that is a whole journey between those two words. in between is a gully that has swallowed lots of lives, dreams, potentials, oppurtunities. There is a fragment of you (what makes you complete) in another. Being able to live for other people is living your life to the fullest. Your kind deeds are coiled up in a boomerang it always bounces back at your with greater force. Add value to someone everyday of your life"

Thank you Funsho! This is one of the most important comments I've read here. I thought there was something wrong with me that I didn't "get it" right off. I have spent my entire life trying to cross that gully; trying to climb out of that gully that I was born into; that I fell into. Trapped. But perhaps no longer. I will learn to soar above.

Gracias! Equals Grace. To the Divine, Please show me The Way.

"The winds of grace blow all the time; all we need do is set our sails."

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On Feb 17, 2012 Catherine Todd wrote:

bob sauerbrey wrote:  "This is at the heart of being real:  Forgive...why?....because there is no one to blame." Well. That makes sense. I was actually able to do that ONCE IN MY LIFE, with a person who was so damaged and "evil" that I knew he could NOT make "right decisions." That he was ALWAYS going to "do the wrong thing." He couldn't help himself. He was "bad to the bone." He was furious when I said that, but I was so calm at the time... I always remember this because later when he robbed me, tried to kill me, tried to get me put in jail, tried to destroy me to make him "just like me" none of it mattered. I was hurt at first, thinking he was a "friend" that I was "trying to save" when in fact I ended up learning how to "save myself." By staying AWAY from "bad people." They are the way they are. Using Bob's analogy, just because my own parents and siblings  See full.

bob sauerbrey wrote:  "This is at the heart of being real:  Forgive...why?....because there is no one to blame."

Well. That makes sense. I was actually able to do that ONCE IN MY LIFE, with a person who was so damaged and "evil" that I knew he could NOT make "right decisions." That he was ALWAYS going to "do the wrong thing." He couldn't help himself. He was "bad to the bone."

He was furious when I said that, but I was so calm at the time... I always remember this because later when he robbed me, tried to kill me, tried to get me put in jail, tried to destroy me to make him "just like me" none of it mattered. I was hurt at first, thinking he was a "friend" that I was "trying to save" when in fact I ended up learning how to "save myself." By staying AWAY from "bad people." They are the way they are.

Using Bob's analogy, just because my own parents and siblings might fall into that same category, doesn't mean I should blame them or be angry at them, I guess. They are the way they are.

Nothing and no one to blame. Damaged goods is damaged goods, and just because they are damaged doesn't mean I am too.

Amen. Show us The Way. Gracias is Grace.

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On Feb 17, 2012 bob sauerbrey wrote:
 This is at the heart of being real:  Forgive...why?....because there is no one to blame.

On Jan 25, 2012 Catherine Todd wrote:
 Somik, I will re-read all the responses here, including your own. But it's like seeing Mars from afar.

On Jan 25, 2012 Catherine Todd wrote:
 "Nobody is interested in hurting you, nobody is positively waiting to hurt you..."

I really can't understand how you could possibly make this statement. With all the cruelty and wars, personal, political, religious and governmental, it makes no sense to say that people are "not wanting to hurt you." Was 9-11 just an "ego thing" in our imaginations? Is all the destruction we in the United States have caused upon the war just in "their imaginations?

What are you saying here? This is why I have a hard time with the "everything is me" part of the meditation community. I must live in a completely different world than the person who made this statement. I really don't understand. Please explain.

On Jan 25, 2012 srp wrote:
 insightful and helpful.

On Feb 1, 2011 Catherine Todd wrote:

Wow. That's what I call a RESPONSE. Taking the High Road and the Long View.

Now on to read "Gandhi and Hitler."

Gracias. Gratitude. Blessings All Around. CT



On Feb 1, 2011 Somik Raha wrote:

How do I find unity with people who tried to kill me or destroy me or harm me in some way? HOW TO DO THAT? What am I supposed to see as "good" in that? Are the Nazi Jew survivors supposed to see "good" in their captors? In India's first war of independence (1857), in the fighting, a soldier speared a monk who happened to be in the vicinity. As the monk lay dying, people overpowered the soldier and dragged him to the monk, asking how he was to be punished. The monk replied, "The one who speared me and the one who I've worshipped all my life are no different." He asked for the soldier to be forgiven in his last breath. The public did not listen to him and the soldier was put to death - that is another matter. If you believe in the divinity of all, and you believe that those who are evil do not have that same divinity in them, that is a contradiction. Gandhi's entire philosophy was around awakening the divine within the perpetrator. That involved love, n  See full.

How do I find unity with people who tried to kill me or destroy me or harm me in some way? HOW TO DO THAT? What am I supposed to see as "good" in that? Are the Nazi Jew survivors supposed to see "good" in their captors?

In India's first war of independence (1857), in the fighting, a soldier speared a monk who happened to be in the vicinity. As the monk lay dying, people overpowered the soldier and dragged him to the monk, asking how he was to be punished. The monk replied, "The one who speared me and the one who I've worshipped all my life are no different." He asked for the soldier to be forgiven in his last breath. The public did not listen to him and the soldier was put to death - that is another matter.

If you believe in the divinity of all, and you believe that those who are evil do not have that same divinity in them, that is a contradiction. Gandhi's entire philosophy was around awakening the divine within the perpetrator. That involved love, not hate, which really comes from fear, which can be traced to not knowing the truth. As a mother who is superivising children on a beach, and sees the kids do wrong, the mother has to step in sometime, and mete out punishment, but she does so without a trace of hatred for her children, knowing this is in their best interest. That perspective, that height at which you can see another's interest as your own is what is called for.

Gandhi did ask the Jews to stand up and be prepared to die without a trace of hatred for the Nazis. It is quite speculative to ask how that would have stopped the Nazis - we will never know because it was not tried and is a counterfactual question. I've read one essay on Gandhi and Hitler that I've found quite illuminating.

One of the biggest copouts of our times is to think the Nazis as brutes, when infact, they were perhaps some of the most cultured people of their times. And yet, there were major ethical lapses. I have a professor who, in a moment of great clarity, cried for Hitler. He realized that because of Hitler, we had the greatest lessons in ethical clarity, and he took it upon himself to develop course material that involved, year after year, going through the Nazi decision-making apparatus, parsing out how ordinary people like us made decisions in those times, recognizing that times haven't really changed, and formulating an ethical code for ourselves to prevent similar lapses.

If you look at the Tibetan situation, the world had not really heard or cared about them. Because of the Chinese government's brutality, everyone knows about them and takes the time to understand their philosophy. Thanks to the Chinese, we have given ourselves the opportunity to help ourselves by receiving so much from the Tibetans. And thanks to the Tibetans' insistence on nonviolence, everyday Chinese are standing up for greater rights for all their citizens.

I would of course much rather have my ethics and philosophy lessons without having such violence visited upon fellow beings. However, your question was on what good can be seen in it, and this is the good that I see.

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On Feb 1, 2011 Catherine Todd wrote:

I can understand the part about the elephant poo: that's essentially what we will be doing when we build houses and schools with used tires and plastic water bottles filled with sand or dirt. That's all to the good, certainly.

 

But you also wrote: "Catherine, for any solution to be found, you will have to find unity with those who are the perceived victims, and those who are the perceived perpetrators. It is a partial view that sees one as good and not the other."

 

How do I find unity with people who tried to kill me or destroy me or harm me in some way? HOW TO DO THAT? What am I supposed to see as "good" in that? Are the Nazi Jew survivors supposed to see "good" in their captors?



On Feb 1, 2011 Somik Raha wrote:

Catherine, for any solution to be found, you will have to find unity with those who are the perceived victims, and those who are the perceived perpetrators. It is a partial view that sees one as good and not the other. Vivekananda also said that he who believes in a God that is all good believes in a one-legged God :). Buddha, said the same thing a little differently - pointing out that everything that we do has a good and a bad aspect, and at a deeper level, neither aspect. The object is to see things as they are. On damage to the environment, far more damage has been done by those who wanted to protect it, because the head was not combined with the heart. First, it is important to accept that the people who are supposedly creating problems are not outside the environment - they are also part of it. Second, in the long scheme of things, those who live unsustainably will get their due rewards, and things will balance out. Thus it is that every great city is ultimately ruined and lies  See full.

Catherine, for any solution to be found, you will have to find unity with those who are the perceived victims, and those who are the perceived perpetrators. It is a partial view that sees one as good and not the other. Vivekananda also said that he who believes in a God that is all good believes in a one-legged God :). Buddha, said the same thing a little differently - pointing out that everything that we do has a good and a bad aspect, and at a deeper level, neither aspect. The object is to see things as they are.

On damage to the environment, far more damage has been done by those who wanted to protect it, because the head was not combined with the heart. First, it is important to accept that the people who are supposedly creating problems are not outside the environment - they are also part of it. Second, in the long scheme of things, those who live unsustainably will get their due rewards, and things will balance out. Thus it is that every great city is ultimately ruined and lies ensconced in a jungle. That a jungle can come back gives us hope - nature will take care of itself in ways that we cannot know.

Third, when we see the unity in all that exists, we start to recognize strange solutions. For instance, in Sri Lanka, elephants are considered to be pests by villagers, eating up valuable crops or damaging village homes. Therefore, elephant killing was rampant. The elephants, on their part, were attacking villages because their habitat had been eroded and they wanted food. Some action heros decided to do something - without judging either the elephant or the villagers as bad. They thought hard about the elephant, asking, "what is it that the elephant gives that humans can find useful?" It turns out that elephant poop is massive in its fiber content. It is also massive in quantity. Our action heros developed a process to convert elephant poop into paper, branded it as "Mr. Ellie Pooh," and sold it in the international markets at premium prices. The villagers were now engaged in collecting the poop and processing it, so they didn't need to aggressively farm and destroy the elephant's habitat. Rather, protecting the habitat was very important so that the elephants continue to get their fiber. Is this going to solve the entire problem? I don't know. But it gives me much hope that the same consumer markets have now been turned on their head to align with a heart that wants to do some good.

 

 

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On Feb 1, 2011 Catherine Todd wrote:

I want to SHARE what we have, without doing damage to the environment, culture or soul.



On Feb 1, 2011 Catherine Todd wrote:

"His point is not to build up ego as saviors of those who need saving, but to develop gratitude that we found ourselves in a position to help, and in so doing, we opened ourselves up to the greatest lesson of all - that when we help others, we literally and actually, help ourselves."   Somik, THANK YOU. I have always said that I'm not doing anything for the others, any more than they are doing for me, if not more. I've gotten as much or more than anything thing I give... especially in Guatemala where there's nothing but gringo do-gooders who are helping the "poor down-trodden Indians" who in reality have given me so much. The indigenous are teaching me Patience and Prayer = Peace.   I want to bring education and medical care and am doing so, but also destroying their culture with consumerism as I come. I am very concerned about this and not sure of what to do. Tourists are there before me and will be after me, and we all carry the benefits and drawbac  See full.

"His point is not to build up ego as saviors of those who need saving, but to develop gratitude that we found ourselves in a position to help, and in so doing, we opened ourselves up to the greatest lesson of all - that when we help others, we literally and actually, help ourselves."

 

Somik, THANK YOU. I have always said that I'm not doing anything for the others, any more than they are doing for me, if not more. I've gotten as much or more than anything thing I give... especially in Guatemala where there's nothing but gringo do-gooders who are helping the "poor down-trodden Indians" who in reality have given me so much. The indigenous are teaching me Patience and Prayer = Peace.

 

I want to bring education and medical care and am doing so, but also destroying their culture with consumerism as I come. I am very concerned about this and not sure of what to do. Tourists are there before me and will be after me, and we all carry the benefits and drawbacks of "education" but at what cost? What to do?

 

How does Nature "play a game" with us?

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On Feb 1, 2011 Somik Raha wrote:

Catherine, Vivekananda is asking us to recognize that it is nature that is playing its game. When we help beggars and the infirm (and most of the time, we find ourselves moving on), it is because we have received some privileges and find ourselves in a position to be of service. His point is not to build up ego as saviors of those who need saving, but to develop gratitude that we found ourselves in a position to help, and in so doing, we opened ourselves up to the greatest lesson of all - that when we help others, we literally and actually, help ourselves. The joy you get when you've made someone's day is indescribable. And you wouldn't, unless someone was in need of help allowing you to play the role of helper. Therefore, the gratitude to those who play the role of the needy.



On Feb 1, 2011 Catherine Todd wrote:

I just saw what Somik Raha wrote on Dec 7, 2010. WOW. Now that's what I needed to hear. I only saw the last comment (after the comment notification was implemented, apparently). I gave up when I saw "don't take anything seriously." So I quit. Ready to Quit caring, quit reading, quit giving, quit everything.

Now I have a roadmap about "attachment" that I can follow. I'll get back on that horse and ride. Thank you so much. CT

But does this mean we are NOT to "help" beggars and the infirm? I don't understand.



On Feb 1, 2011 Madan Dipta wrote:

This is what is called Samatav yog in Gita, The holy book.

 

 

 

 



On Dec 20, 2010 Catherine Todd wrote:

Ah, thank you Ganoba. Now I understand. Not serious and smile. :)



On Dec 19, 2010 ganoba wrote:

Need not take anything seriously.

Just laugh or at least smile. 



On Dec 19, 2010 Catherine Todd wrote:

Ganoba, you knew I had to write.

You wrote: "Ignore this stuff too."  What does this mean? What are you talking about?



On Dec 18, 2010 ganoba wrote:

The primary illusion is that there is an independent Ï

 

When there is no independent I how can there be others?

Also how can there be an ego, which is but an image in the eyes of the others 

.There is no you and there is no wound.Be still and silent.

Ignore this stuff too.



On Dec 18, 2010 Catherine Todd wrote:

Pancho and others: I am re-reading these reflections adn am stunned by their beauty, power and inspiration. I will print out and post on my wall. Thanks to you all!



On Dec 17, 2010 nico wrote:

stunning I will take this with me xx



On Dec 9, 2010 ganoba wrote:

The author says we are all sinners. i say we are all apprentices 9essentially the same without the stigma). this enables me to do whatever I can in any situation, without feeling helpless. It also enables me to appreciate whatever others are contributing. What more do I need?

 

 

 



On Dec 7, 2010 Catherine Todd wrote:

Aernout Zevenbergen: thanks for your comment. I was very moved by the "man who was raped in prison" and was determined to get past it. Then I realized how many women are raped on a daily basis, with little if any support to "get past it." All over the world. It wasn't until about 20 years ago in this country that women didn't have to be "virgens" to make a claim of rape, and they were still held "responsible" for things as simple as the hidden undergarments they wore. No hero worship there!

I know this from personal experience when it happened to me. And when women are raped, they aren't just "ganged banged" by a bunch of guys. Their lives are also threatened. When will it all end? How to "accept" this without getting POLITICAL?



On Dec 7, 2010 Catherine Todd wrote:

Thank you for creating the comment notification! Now on to read more reflections... Gracias, amigo!



On Dec 7, 2010 Pancho wrote:

 My family calls me Pancho, some of you might think that I don't know you, but I'd like you to know that I love you all. I found myself trying to translate some of the meaning of the passage by removing the judgement. Why it was said a "man of Tao" and not "a woman of Tao"? Do we carry something else other than wounds? Hermano Chris opened Wednesdays and provided a lot of food for thought and feeling (I hope he can share it later!) with an analogy of four flows. These were the 3 points I shared:   1. The Scar During and After the Wound 2. Clad in the Armor of Love 3. The Deepest Flow 1. The Scar During and After the Wound  What else do we carry with us? When we are physically (or emotionally) wounded a miraculous process start to happen. A process that took billions of years to be possible. A concert of cooperation among cells from platelets to neurons. Information and proteins are efficiently shared without asking for "doc  See full.

 My family calls me Pancho, some of you might think that I don't know you, but I'd like you to know that I love you all.

I found myself trying to translate some of the meaning of the passage by removing the judgement. Why it was said a "man of Tao" and not "a woman of Tao"? Do we carry something else other than wounds? Hermano Chris opened Wednesdays and provided a lot of food for thought and feeling (I hope he can share it later!) with an analogy of four flows. These were the 3 points I shared:
 
1. The Scar During and After the Wound
2. Clad in the Armor of Love
3. The Deepest Flow

1. The Scar During and After the Wound 
What else do we carry with us? When we are physically (or emotionally) wounded a miraculous process start to happen. A process that took billions of years to be possible. A concert of cooperation among cells from platelets to neurons. Information and proteins are efficiently shared without asking for "documents". When injured, a healthy human body and soul will begin to heal by themselves: solidarity at its best for the well-being of all. When our being is aware of the wound, the capability to self-heal starts. Inside all of us there is a powerful source of love that is capable to heal us. If we are able to tap into this wisdom, into this incommensurable source of love, we will find the answer to all our questions. In this way, during and after the wound we carry with us the scar of the Universal Love. For me, this scar is a beautiful reminder of this phenomenal demonstration of solidarity, a reminder that we always carry with us this infinite source of compassion and love. 
 
During the circle of sharing, I could not say it better than sister Shanti: on Wednesdays we strive in silence for the Universal Love.Then we listen, share and unite. This process we experience brings an deep sense of happiness and peace.
 
On Wednesdays we are like diverse cells learning from each other how to be part of the body of the Grand Human Family.
 
2. Clad in the Armor of the Universal Love
If everything is within us, then clad in the Armor of the Universal Love human hatred cannot reach you. This was beautifully shared by hermano Nipun with one of Wavy Gravy's stories. For a satyagrahi like Wavy Gravy, there is a point where the human body has its limitations, but the human spirit, that, is unconquerable. It is an indomitable will fueled by love, fearlessness and compassion for other beings. In these times of the Great Turning we all have to find our "inner Wavy Gravy" in order to evolve towards a nonviolent Earth Community.

3. The Deepest Flow
Once we have this armor of the Universal Love, it really doesn't matter if it is our actions or inactions that speak because we are already aligned with the deepest flow of the unity of life. Thus, every choice we make embodies a volition to support our collective well-being, our interbeing. The best way to honor each other is by inviting this flow into our lives.
 
May all become compassionate, courageous and wise.
Pancho

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On Dec 7, 2010 Somik Raha wrote:

Catherine, in response to your request, our tech team just added a feature to let people get notified of further comments when they post a comment of their own. Many will now benefit from your wish. :) As to your question, here are a few random reflections: 1) Does your experience come from your beliefs, or do your beliefs come from your experiences? If it is the former (as I find it to be most of the time for myself, upon deeper reflection), it stands to reason that if I rewire my beliefs, my experiences will change. 2) What are some helpful beliefs to plant? This is a matter of personal reflection, but some that rise up for me are: i) I have time ii) I have help iii) I have love to give and receive iv) (most important) I am free 3) Rumi says children are not of us, they are through us. Vivekananda also reflects on mother's love in his Karma Yoga essays and warns us to be careful of confusing attachment with love. An excerpt: My master used to say, "Look upon your chil  See full.

Catherine, in response to your request, our tech team just added a feature to let people get notified of further comments when they post a comment of their own. Many will now benefit from your wish. :)

As to your question, here are a few random reflections:

1) Does your experience come from your beliefs, or do your beliefs come from your experiences? If it is the former (as I find it to be most of the time for myself, upon deeper reflection), it stands to reason that if I rewire my beliefs, my experiences will change.

2) What are some helpful beliefs to plant? This is a matter of personal reflection, but some that rise up for me are:

i) I have time
ii) I have help
iii) I have love to give and receive
iv) (most important) I am free

3) Rumi says children are not of us, they are through us. Vivekananda also reflects on mother's love in his Karma Yoga essays and warns us to be careful of confusing attachment with love. An excerpt:

My master used to say, "Look upon your children as a nurse does." The nurse will take your baby and fondle it and play with it and behave towards it as gently as if it were her own child; but as soon as you give her notice to quit, she is ready to start off bag and baggage from the house. Everything in the shape of attachment is forgotten; it will not give the ordinary nurse the least pang to leave your children and take up other children. Even so are you to be with all that you consider your own. ... The greatest weakness often insinuates itself as the greatest good and strength. It is a weakness to think that any one is dependent on me, and that I can do good to another. This belief is the mother of all our attachment, and through this attachment comes all our pain. We must inform our minds that no one in this universe depends upon us; not one beggar depends on our charity; not one soul on our kindness; not one living thing on our help. All are helped on by nature, and will be so helped even though millions of us were not here. The course of nature will not stop for such as you and me; it is, as already pointed out, only a blessed privilege to you and to me that we are allowed, in the way of helping others, to educate ourselves. This is a great lesson to learn in life, and when we have learned it fully, we shall never be unhappy; we can go and mix without harm in society anywhere and everywhere.

4) A famous Buddhist teacher whose son passed away was in tears at the funeral. He was asked why, after a lifetime of learning and teaching detachment, he was still in tears? He replied, "Yes, I know the teaching, but sometimes, it is hard."

Hang in there..

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On Dec 7, 2010 reshmaa wrote:

Thanks Patsy..

Your insight is really good.

Do you mean to say that I should not react to other persons actions and deeds.  Though his actions and deeds are actually hurting me in some way or the other.  I mean I should not react, and just be myself.

God Bless..



On Dec 6, 2010 Catherine Todd wrote:

Thank you Patsy and Victoria. Victoria mentioned just what I was thinking: what do you do when you can't "control" (create) a positive outcome within a dysfunctional family? Separate from them for certain, but the pain never goes away. Especially when it is a loved one or a child. How to come to terms with that? Yes, I can't control others actions. But I can't stop WISHING that things were different for me and my son. Patsy wrote: "When I can accept that I am powerless over any other, but very powerful within myself, I can start to let go of the urge to control things. Then I can trust that if I do right, right results wil follow. It does not matter what others do or don't do. I cannot control them, but I can control myself. I can decide that faith allows me to do right without regard for the outcome, because the outcome will be right - even if it's in a way my current state of mind can't understand." I will give this a try, but it really is  See full.

Thank you Patsy and Victoria. Victoria mentioned just what I was thinking: what do you do when you can't "control" (create) a positive outcome within a dysfunctional family? Separate from them for certain, but the pain never goes away. Especially when it is a loved one or a child. How to come to terms with that?

Yes, I can't control others actions. But I can't stop WISHING that things were different for me and my son.

Patsy wrote: "When I can accept that I am powerless over any other, but very powerful within myself, I can start to let go of the urge to control things. Then I can trust that if I do right, right results wil follow. It does not matter what others do or don't do. I cannot control them, but I can control myself. I can decide that faith allows me to do right without regard for the outcome, because the outcome will be right - even if it's in a way my current state of mind can't understand."

I will give this a try, but it really is not easy. Not for years and years now. I can come to grips with the "right action gives right results" (eventually) so that will help me "make it through the night." What else to do? Keeping distance from your own adult child never really heals, does it? The guilt and the love and the desire to see them happy and keep them from harm... how to let go of that? Tough Love and Love them from a distance really doesn't help a mother sleep at night.

---

How can I get notification of comments here? I didn't realize that anyone had commented until the next newsletter came with a few comments at the bottom from this one. So glad I saw it! Thanks for this "journey." It's just what I need right now, more than you can know. Thanks to everyone who wrote and commented here. Much to think about and much appreciated.

CatherineTodd2 at gmail dot com

 

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On Dec 6, 2010 Somik Raha wrote:
Patsy, loved reading your thoughtful response.

On Dec 5, 2010 martina decruz wrote:

Its so full of positivity and so relevent to what we go through. It really changed my mood for the day. i feel so much better after reading it. Thanks...:)



On Dec 4, 2010 Alex wrote:

I read the first part of this page and i think it's a wonderful things to read and inspire others.Good work and i hop to learn more from your works.God bless Amen!!!



On Dec 4, 2010 sachin wrote:

You carry your wound. With the ego, your whole being is a wound. And you carry it around. Nobody is interested in hurting you, nobody is positively waiting to hurt you; everybody is engaged in safeguarding his own wound. Who has got the energy? But still it happens, because you are so ready to be wounded, so ready, just waiting on the brink for anything. You cannot touch a man of Tao. Why? - because there is no one to be touched. There is no wound. He is healthy, healed, whole. This word whole is beautiful. The word heal comes from the whole, and the word holy also comes from the whole. He is whole, healed, holy. Be aware of your wound. Don't help it to grow, let it be healed; and it will be healed only when you move to the roots. The less the head, the more the wound will heal; with no head there is no wound. Live a headless life. Move as a total being, and accept things. Just for twenty-four hours, try it - total acceptance, whatsoever happens. Someone insults you, accept it; d  See full.

  1. You carry your wound. With the ego, your whole being is a wound. And you carry it around. Nobody is interested in hurting you, nobody is positively waiting to hurt you; everybody is engaged in safeguarding his own wound. Who has got the energy? But still it happens, because you are so ready to be wounded, so ready, just waiting on the brink for anything. You cannot touch a man of Tao. Why? - because there is no one to be touched. There is no wound. He is healthy, healed, whole. This word whole is beautiful. The word heal comes from the whole, and the word holy also comes from the whole. He is whole, healed, holy. Be aware of your wound. Don't help it to grow, let it be healed; and it will be healed only when you move to the roots. The less the head, the more the wound will heal; with no head there is no wound. Live a headless life. Move as a total being, and accept things. Just for twenty-four hours, try it - total acceptance, whatsoever happens. Someone insults you, accept it; don't react, and see what happens. Suddenly you will feel an energy flowing in you that you have not felt before. -- Osho

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On Dec 4, 2010 Victoria wrote:

I think it is important to notice that sometimes we are keeping the wrong sort of company, maybe family members who are disfunctional.  In these circumstances it is important to be internally strong and when given the chance - choose a new way of life and right company.  This is what I had to do anyway. 



On Dec 3, 2010 Patsy wrote:

Catherine, your question is a good one, one almost everyone asks sooner or later. Here is what I think. We each can control only our own actions and thoughts. We can never truely control anyone else. People have tried throughout human history - torture, violence, war, slavery. Still the souls are free in the end. When I can accept that I am powerless over any other, but very powerful within myself, I can start to let go of the urge to control things. Then I can trust that if I do right, right results wil follow. It does not matter what others do or don't do. I cannot control them, but I can control myself. I can decide that faith allows me to do right without regard for the outcome, because the outcome will be right - even if it's in a way my current state of mind can't understand. I know this is hard. Very hard. It helps me to remember that in this world and this reality we are all condemned to certain death. You may think that sounds grim, but in fact it b  See full.

Catherine, your question is a good one, one almost everyone asks sooner or later. Here is what I think.

We each can control only our own actions and thoughts. We can never truely control anyone else. People have tried throughout human history - torture, violence, war, slavery. Still the souls are free in the end.

When I can accept that I am powerless over any other, but very powerful within myself, I can start to let go of the urge to control things. Then I can trust that if I do right, right results wil follow. It does not matter what others do or don't do. I cannot control them, but I can control myself. I can decide that faith allows me to do right without regard for the outcome, because the outcome will be right - even if it's in a way my current state of mind can't understand.

I know this is hard. Very hard. It helps me to remember that in this world and this reality we are all condemned to certain death. You may think that sounds grim, but in fact it brings real freedom. If I am free to die without fear, then I am free to live without fear, and my wounds can heal.

God bless you.

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On Dec 1, 2010 Catherine Todd wrote:

Yes, this post is very profound. But there are people who DO want to wound you, and even kill you. It has happened to me. How to be "headless" and full of "acceptance" for this, too? HOW?



On Dec 1, 2010 jitendra pal singh wrote:

someone  wounds  me  because  he  does  not  know  that  he  is  wounding  me . he  does  not  know  our  essential  oneness .the  oneness  of  humanity.he  does  not  know  that  a  wound that  he  inflicts  on  me  is  the  same  wound  which  if  when    inflicted  on  him  will  cause  him  the  same  pain  and  suffering  that  he  is  giving  to    me . actually    someone   must  have  wounded  him  so  he  is  wounding  me. i  also  must  have  wounded  someone  and  so  today  someone  is  wounding  me.no  one  realizes  when   See full.

someone  wounds  me  because  he  does  not  know  that  he  is  wounding  me . he  does  not  know  our  essential  oneness .the  oneness  of  humanity.he  does  not  know  that  a  wound that  he  inflicts  on  me  is  the  same  wound  which  if  when    inflicted  on  him  will  cause  him  the  same  pain  and  suffering  that  he  is  giving  to    me . actually    someone   must  have  wounded  him  so  he  is  wounding  me. i  also  must  have  wounded  someone  and  so  today  someone  is  wounding  me.no  one  realizes  when  and  where  all  this  wounding  business started. somewhere  someone  has  to  put  the  break  and  put  a  stop  to  all  this  madness .somewhere sometime  someone  has  to  take  that  first  step. Osho  is  right  when  he  says  that  the  mind  will  never  ever  heal  him .with  mind  he  will  only    go  on  thinking  about  retaliation.of  his   seperateness  from  the   inflicter. but  with  the  heart  there  will  never  be  any   seperateness .no  inflicter  and  no  inflicted. heart  sees  no   divisions .it   see  all  as  one  single  whole. by  enduring  what  i   call a  wound  coming  from  him  i    have  actually found  myself .and  if  there  is  none  other  than  myself  then  from  where  can  inflicter  or  inflicted  can  come  into  being  and  exist.

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On Nov 30, 2010 Funsho Olokesusi wrote:

susanschaller wrote about going from I to We. Seems very simple but friends i put it to you that is a whole journey between those two words. in between is a gully that has swallowed lots of lives, dreams, potentials, oppurtunities. There is a fragment of you (what makes you complete) in another. Being able to live for other people is living your life to the fullest. Your kind deeds are coiled up in a boomerang it always bounces back at your with greater force. Add value to someone everyday of your life



On Nov 30, 2010 glenn wrote:

 profound wisdom...as krishna lovingly advises arjuna in the bhagavad gita, one endeavors to walk off the battlefield with one's head in one's hands...sometimes the truth is so simple it can be overlooked***do the joy***



On Nov 30, 2010 madhur wrote:

 i can relate to it as earlier i was sensitive , ready to be wounded and egoistic. Then while working with CF, one day i lost a lot of ego and started connecting with people, so became less sensitive too. now life is so much more b'ful every day. i get up smiling, people with who i interact make me feel good generally and i feel the world is my big family.



On Nov 30, 2010 deepak wrote:

i needed these words today the most.

i had been wounded some time back . was carrying it for some time.

now it is healed. and i know for sure not to get wounded again.



On Nov 30, 2010 susanschaller wrote:

As I look back on the last ten years, I see my little self (ego) shrinking and the Self growing.  As a result, my life gets bigger and bigger, because I become more connected to all of life.  My first exercises to help me become more integrated - whole - and to heal relate to this reading.  I practiced not showing I was hurt, just for today.  When feeling insulted or a victim and hurt, I pretended not to notice and not to talk about it or react to the perceived wound.  That was the beginning of an amazing journey: I began to travel the road from "I" to " WE."  And Life and Love continue to grow.



On Nov 30, 2010 Mary wrote:

Thank You. I needed to hear this today.



On Nov 30, 2010 Lauren wrote:

 Beautiful. Words that spoke to my soul this morning. It's like the flap of a butterfly's wings. A small bit could, and can, change so much.



On Nov 30, 2010 stef wrote:

 just read this - amazing.



On Nov 29, 2010 Aernout Zevenbergen wrote:

Such wise words...!

They remind me of an encounter I had very recently with a man who got raped while in police custody for one night; raped by his fellow prisoners. I met him a few days after, and we had long chat about the wound he'd received that night.

He is aware of hs wound; and he is determined to make sure the wounding stops with him, by accepting it with al the courage a man can muster.

"Total acceptance."

Is there anything more courageous than that?

Anything more daring? Anything riskier to the ego?

They key to liberty. But often so difficult to find.

Thank you for this wonderful post!

Aernout, Cape Town, South Africa