Judy,
You say you lead a grief group. In dealing with what I think was he greatest grief of all, the loss of our 6 yr old son (fist born and my spiting image) a good friend told us that life after a death is like a hand saw with jagged teeth. As you go up the saw blade, there will be ups and downs but you continue on. Another friend who had lost a child told us not to listen to those who say 'take it day by day, one day at a time' because they have never lost someone close. You take it minute by minute because a day is to huge to deal with. One minute laugh, the next cry, the next anger, the next quiet. Too many emotions and they are all raw during the first few years. Let your group know they can go on, just to do it slowly and to always remember the things that made their loved one smile and laugh.

Evil, good, polarity of the two, duality. It's all a Western Civilization construct, in which everything is separated. God is separated from man. Nature is separated and something to be conquered by man.  It is very limited thinking. Native American culture is far more integrative and expansive. Both wolves belong to each of us. What will destroy us is our fear and inability to accept all parts of ourselves. 

 this story hasn't been "added to" - it IS the "grand story!" - the story you refer to, incorrectly, as the grand story is simply new age wishful thinking; a Christian corruption, that denies Nature to be part of "God".

 Thank you for your post. I know I don't do a very good job some times of explaining things or expressing myself and at times it may seem like I'm trying to tell people how to live but I try not to offer advice.I usually tell people just to be in prayer about things they need answers for.

 The original sorry is well explained however it will cause mixed messages . The true meaning of this story is light vs darkness . Feed darkness and you will cause harm to yourself and others and ultimately fail. What is horribly wrong with the original story are the placements of the qualities . Light vectors all success and doesn’t allow room for negativity . The black wolf is an avatar of negativity and the white wolf is an avatar or positive thinking . As humans the negative experiences we live , by default overrule positive. This is because we feed the black wolf. The strength required to succeed on all playing fields is the white wolf. I will give you a concrete example. I went from fat and broke to fit and rich. Not once did I feed the black wolf . Only the white. It was a long and depleting fight because that black wolf came many times but the white wolf fought it off the majority of the time . The white wolf day after day became stronger till one the day the immortal black wolf realized that his efforts were futile. It takes time to change but it’s doable. Feeding the black wolf is easy, but if you do what is easy your life will be hard and if you what is hard ( feed a gentle wolf while a black wolf is intimidating ) your life will be easy... if there is non enemy within , the enemies outside can do us no harm . 

Feed the white wolf 

 No one can make you do any thing unless you yourself want to do it.
If you keep aside your personal gains or ego nothing wrong ever happens and you do not do any thing wrong.

then f u 

 On this blog we expect mature comments.
From your comment it seems you too are facing conflict of other forces. You can get rid of your problem by meditation.

 Spot on!

 Thank you :) 

 Love . . . Love . . . Love, Jenna!  Most often our "labeling" (for good or for bad) is not entirely accurate.  Assume nothing.  Ty,

Yes! We just don't know what's 'good' or 'bad' - but we judge everything, anyway. It's hard-wired into our biology. Even single celled creatures will approach (good), avoid (bad) things in their environment - our subconscious brain makes the same kind of judgements about everything we come across before our consciousness even knows there's anything there. Ah well, we can get around that automatic judgement if we're patient enough. 

Using mindfulness to damp down an emotional response / judgement is a great tactic!  Emotions can hijack us so quickly if we don't monitor our thinking.

 Thinking can hijack us very quickly also -- as you said, it's important to monitor our thinking, and very closely.  I'm always suspicious of my thinking. 

 This does seem to make  sense to some degree,if you are a loving parent and do not wish to see your children get hurt by bad choices. My mother always would say I wish you could learn from my mistakes. My reply was I wish I could too, but how then will I ever learn without making my own mistakes. As a mother myself it was very hard letting go of my daughters hand and let her stand on her own because I knew at some point she would fall but she would also pull herself back up when she got tired of sitting in the same spot again. I feel that maybe GOD may have felt the same way in the beginning wanting to let go of our hand and gave us our free will to choose and it will be again as it was in the beginning but this time will be different in a sense, GOD still wants us to choose HIM.

 GOOD FOR PARENTS RAISING CHILDREN. MINE ARE GROWN!!  DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR WOMEN IN THEIR RETIREMENT DAYS?  MARLENE

 NOT INTERESTED!!!!!!!  I'VE RAISED MY CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sorry if I offended you by what I wrote. I have raised my family too. I was only blessed with one but she is grown and married and I have two grandsons and a granddaughter that I'll see again someday. I guess GOD needed her more then we did.

 Marlene -- My advice for you and me is to further raise ourselves.

 Amen Maria!  
I do not wish for God to let go of my hand (ideally, He can hold my other hand, head and heart, too!)

 Thanks for the Amen Jo, GOD won't ever let go of your hand so long as you don't let go of HIS! We are all on a journey, a journey of life and I guess that doesn't stop until we stop living. I wish I could remember who told me that.

 I am thankful for YOU and this site!

 I thank GOD for YOU too, many BLESSINGS back to YOU. Always remember where your TRUE BLESSINGS come from and give thanks no matter how great or small.

 Conflict is only when you think that you are right.
You have to understand that other person too may be right.
You can not always be right. Try to understand the point of view of other person particularly your children.

 Conflict is only when you think you are right.
There is nothing like Right or Wrong.
When you say it is day you think it is right it my be other person will be saying it is night as he is across the Globe,
So never think you are absolutely right, you may be wrong.
So if you come out of the feeling of right or wrong, good or bad you will save your self from inner conflict..
It is only he particular moment that makes thing right or wrong ,good or bad.
Wait for time and you will be out of the inner conflict.

 I guess I do not understand why you (or anyone) would want to "feed" darkness?   
We ALL have it (a black wolf) but I try to keep the dark in me as light as I can.  I do not want to go beyond "gray".
Let your LIGHT so shine.
ILY!  very much 

 Forgot to say, I am thankful you are still here to tell us your story . . . the gingerbread man was/is not so lucky!  
(I count on you to be close by.  I would sorrowfully miss you if you were gone!)  TY!

 Many thanks for sharing The Legend of Two Wolves.  Excellent animation & message!

Thank you for sharing. I understand exactly what you're saying. I took the story to represent my own battles within between good and bad. It helped me to realize that trying to always do good and sometimes the bad comes out isn't failure on my part. I need to work on taking the good parts of both and use them to better my life. I love reading stories that have Native History. The stories are down to earth yet filled with great knowledge and meaning.  When reading history books,the  Bible, and even watching the news today it is heartbreaking that we as humans have not learned how to love each other and live together.

ahhhhh.....but we are learning to do just that...I heard that until all of us goes, none of us goes...I envision a world in which everyone is seen and valued for their capacities and awareness, that includes the underdog, the one the underdog struggles against, and the ones defending the underdog as well.   We are learning so much with Reconciliation and Healing/Restorative Justice...learning to invite all community members to the table, asking who we have to become to treat the so-called "bullies" with the same genuine compassion and care that we treat the ones on the receiving end of misguided strategies.  I like what I learn engaging in this level of dialogue. 

 For all the insights given 4/8, it is important to look every person we pass in the eye.  To speak (non verbally), "You matter . . . I care . . . Do your best (perfection will make you ill) . . . Hold on to Jesus".  
That no child of God fall in the crack of invisibility, I pray.  
Looking at you,

 i think this is an illusion - that we need pain to respect peace. we should see the world as a child does. small children have little experience of pain, but are full of joy.

 Hmmmmm.....good point. :)

 Thank you. These are the words I needed in order to understand.

 Please forgive me if I do not do what you'd like me to . . . I am a bit over whelmed.  So much to process.