SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the notion that we mistakenly consider emotions like worries and jealousy as proof of love? Can you share a personal story of a time you became aware of the need to cleanse your love? What helps you stay aware of the need to constantly cleanse your love?
Often we block the flow of our real nature and expression through love, peace and compassion as we generate impurities in our mind. Impurities manifest in the form of different emotions. One easy way to avoid this blockage is to be in the present moment and accepting the reality as it is.
Yes there Is definitely need for constant cleansing. I would even use the phrase "constant vigilance". Without vigilance, the defilements can be mistaken for love and can develop into an unhealthy pattern over time in the relationship. The constant cleansing will keep us and our relationships aligned with the universe.
For me, if the love between myself and another feels uneven, that is, if I feel as if I'm giving more than I receive, I feel taken advantage of. I've adapted to the others in my life until I've established some sort of pattern and unhealthy molding of my being to accept this unevenness, this unbalance. It's not that I expect the other to to love exactly as I do ('The 5 Love Languages' goes into the differences), but it's more of this observation that I am being taken for granted. I wonder if this feeling of unfulfillment I experience is something I need to just accept and live with it realizing that the other won't or can't love me 'more' or if I just need to not settle and find someone else who can fulfill this 'need' or desire in me to be loved in a more balanced way.
It has been my experience that pure love brings peace, joy, happiness and fulfillment. It has helped me grow and expand. It has also helped the other connected with me grow and expand.Love keeps the tree of life green and flourish.
It has also been my experience that craving to possess and to control the other in intimate relationships causes suffering. Such suffering has helped me to reflect on me, awaken me and is has created deeper bonding. Such love showers flowers of joy, peace, happiness and fulfillment. When love gets soiled by selfish desires and cravings, we need to cleanse the dust before it gets dense and heavy.
It is my conviction that when I wake up from my self-created suffering, the light of love dawns upon me and makes me free from my own bondage. Such awakening demands courage to be true to oneself and to the other.
May we wake up from our self-created suffering and be grateful to receive the blessings of pure love!
Emotions like worry and jealously aren't proof of love but are likely to be evidence of insecurity, control, and possessiveness. Love is positive for the lover and for the one loved, and trying to control and possess is not positive for either. Healthy love sets you free, not binds you down. Healthy love involves intimacy that allows freedom, individuality, and growth. I've had experiences of wanting to possess who I loved, and it didn't work -- that kind of love hurt the relationship rather than nurture it. Unfortunately I didn't become aware of the need to cleanse the way I was loving until far into the relationship and much damage had already been done. Such painful experiences have resulted in my being aware of the need to cleanse my love. As the saying goes, good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgment.