Don't Go Back to Sleep
To be human is to be lost in the woods. None of us arrives here with clear directions on how to get from point A to point B without stumbling into the forest of confusion or catastrophe or wrongdoing. Although they are dark and dangerous, it is in the woods that we discover our strengths. We all know people who say their cancer or divorce or bankruptcy was the greatest gift of a lifetime—that until the body, or the heart, or the bank was broken, they didn’t know who they were, what they felt, or what they wanted. Before their descent into the darkness, they took more than they gave, or they were numb, or full of fear or blame or self-pity. In their most broken moments they were brought to their knees; they were humbled; they were opened. And later, as they pulled the pieces back together, they discovered a clearer sense of purpose and a new passion for life. But we also know people who did not turn their misfortune into insight, or their grief into joy. Instead, they became more bitter, more reactive, more cynical. They shut down. They went back to sleep.
The Persian poet Rumi says, "The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep. You must ask for what you really want. Don’t go back to sleep. People are going back and forth across the doorsill, where the two worlds touch. The door is round and open. Don’t go back to sleep."
I am fascinated by what it takes to stay awake in difficult times. I marvel at what we all do in times of transition -- how we resist, and how we surrender; how we stay stuck, and how we grow. Since my first major broken-open experience -- my divorce -- I have been an observer and a confidante of others as they engage with the forces of their own suffering. I have made note of how fiasco and failure visit each one of us, as if they were written into the job description of being human. I have seen people crumble in times of trouble, lose their spirit, and never fully recover. I have seen others protect themselves fiercely from any kind of change, until they are living a half life, safe yet stunted.
But I have also seen another way to deal with a fearful change or a painful loss. I call this other way the Phoenix Process -- named for the mythical phoenix bird who remains awake through the fires of change, rises from the ashes of death, and is reborn into his most vibrant and enlightened self.
I’ve tried both ways: I have gone back to sleep in order to resist the forces of change. And I have stayed awake and been broken open. Both ways are difficult, but one way brings with it the gift of a lifetime. If we can stay awake when our lives are changing, secrets will be revealed to us—secrets about ourselves, about the nature of life, and about the eternal source of happiness and peace that is always available, always renewable, already within us.
What does it mean to stay awake and be broken open? Can you share a personal story of a time you were broken open and felt reborn? How do you practice staying awake when your life is changing immensely?
Would you rather live in a comfortablea hell or an unknown heaven ?
I am going thru the process of being broken open every day ,for the last 8 month. A terrible divorce. I have been practicing and embracing awakening for a long time .However ,at the moment I feel that circumstances bring the biggest challenge to be awake and present.I'm swapped into the painful past with every painful present experience and into the fear of the future. It is almost impossible to keep awake.I cannot see the teachings in all this extreme maliciousness and revengefulness. It feels to much.
Yes ,I'm learning to honor myself and be very assertive but what more ? because the nightmare is to big and relentless.
I meditate ,I do self healing ,I read inspirational thingsand surrender with people that brings that energy too but the toxicity poison me .
Any suggestions on what to do to remain awake?
I thought my life was over after my divorce at 20. Being open lead me to my soul mate. After 37 wonderful years, I have to start again. Had I not been open I would not have had such a wonderful marriage. Sickness and disease make you wonder about the Divine Being and the reason for someone you truly love dying. Being awake will take me to the next step, whatever it may be. I plan to find out what it is I am supposed to be and do.
This is so quietly beautiful! Thank you~
I suppose I'm one of those lucky guys who has never really felt "broken". Temporary setbacks have been just that: short-lived challenges. Fortunately, I've been able to bounce back and rebound to an even better place.
Take your lessons and be thankful for making you see this side of yours that needs to be garnered. This is a step towards self realization, the purpose of your life or many lives before. You have just found your way..you are not lost.
To stay awake is to be aware and accepting of life's challenges,of acknowledging the dark just the way it is..not resisting,not praying for solace.To be broke open is to let this darkness enlighten your soul and make you stronger and braver than what you've been..Cant share my story but want the readers to know that this is the only way to live a life of dignity,strength and courage.
Thank you . For me to stay awake and being broken open has been an emotional roller coaster ride which is still an on gong process . After my divorce and it's aftermath , it has been an experience where I learnt my lessons and gradually shifted my focus from the outer world to the inner world inside . Even after doing that , there have been occasions when I have slipped up in this journey , fallen down , hurt myself , got up and started walking on my journey again . i am awake and present on the path I am walking .
Staying awake means being mindful and being present. It means seeing the gifts in being broken open. I have been broken open several times; back in teen years my father tried to kill himself 5 times. For me this was a gift of Compassion for other's suffering, making NO assumptions about what someone else experiences in their own life and letting go. When I left home for college at 18, I was determined to live a life seeking joy and sharing joy with others to uplift. After my divorce I also felt reborn. I practice staying awake by remaining present. Even in the darkness, it too shall pass. One day at a time. Being the the present also helps to alleviate some stress and others feel your presence and appreciate when you are fully there for them. HUG
