The Face Game

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Hand-drawn art by Rupali Bhuva
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El juego de la cara

—por Richard Lang


Aprender a jugar «el juego de la cara», como lo denomina Douglas Harding, no se considera un error ni una trampa, sino más bien una etapa importante del desarrollo humano, que solo se vuelve problemática cuando se aferra uno con demasiada tenacidad. La etapa del «Vidente» —que, además de aprovechar las ventajas del juego de la cara, es consciente de una identidad más profunda— se considera una etapa natural del desarrollo humano, en lugar de un estado de ser vagamente sobrenatural reservado para unos pocos afortunados.




A continuación se presenta un resumen de la idea del Juego de la cara, que Harding formuló en colaboración con Eric Berne, uno de los fundadores del Análisis Transaccional y autor de “Los juegos que juegan las personas”:



"Las cinco etapas del juego



(1) Como cualquier animal, el recién nacido es, para sí mismo, una entidad sin identidad, sin rostro, parte integral de su entorno, una primera persona sin ser consciente de ello.



(2) El niño pequeño, como hemos visto, tiende a tomar conciencia (aunque sea brevemente e intermitentemente) de sí mismo como entidad con potencial, sin rostro. Sin embargo, también toma cada vez más conciencia de sí mismo como lo ven los demás: una tercera persona, con rostro y características humanas. Ambas perspectivas de sí mismo son válidas y necesarias.




(3) Pero a medida que el niño crece y aprende el Juego de la cara, su visión externa de sí mismo eclipsa, y finalmente borra, su visión interna. De hecho, se desarrolla hacia abajo, no hacia arriba. Al principio, abarcaba su mundo: ahora su mundo lo abarca a él. Acepta la opinión de los demás sobre su situación, menos la suya propia, y deja de ser una primera persona. Las consecuencias son las esperables. Al pasar de ser un todo a ser una parte insignificante, se vuelve codicioso, resentido, temeroso, cerrado, falso y cansado. Codicioso, al intentar recuperar a cualquier precio un poco de su antiguo poder; resentido, al intentar vengarse de una sociedad que lo ha humillado; temeroso, al verse como una mera cosa entre otras; cerrado, porque es natural que una cosa mantenga a los demás fuera; falso, al usar una máscara tras otra para cada persona o situación; cansado, porque gasta mucha energía en mantener estas apariencias en lugar de usarla para lo que realmente importa: relacionarse con los demás. Y todos estos problemas, y muchos más, surgen de su pretensión básica falsa, el Juego de la Cara, ya que imagina (contrariamente a la realidad) que a nivel interno es lo mismo que aparenta ser externamente: una entidad sólida e impenetrable." Un cúmulo de materia coloreada y con contornos definidos. En resumen, está fuera de sí, es excéntrico y se siente alienado.




(4) Percibe la esencia del juego. El juego se detiene por el momento. Esta percepción inicial es sumamente simple. Una vez que se reconoce, nada es más evidente que la propia falta de identidad. Sin embargo, los resultados, como la liberación de la avaricia, el odio, el miedo y la ilusión, solo se garantizan mientras se mantenga esta claridad (que es la libertad misma). Las breves luces de claridad no bastan.




(5) Ahora comienza la etapa más exigente. Debe seguir percibiendo su falta de identidad siempre que pueda, hasta que esta percepción se vuelva natural y constante. Entonces, finalmente, el juego termina. Está libre del juego, liberado, despierto, iluminado, verdaderamente auténtico.




Preguntas semilla para la reflexión: ¿Qué opinas sobre la idea de que alcanzar la etapa del "Vidente" implica integrar la personalidad externa con una identidad más profunda y sin forma? ¿Puedes compartir una anécdota personal que ilustre un momento en el que te sentiste dividido entre las expectativas de los demás y tu propia comprensión de quién eres realmente? ¿Qué te ayuda a cultivar el hábito de reconocer y aceptar tu falta de identidad, promoviendo así la libertad y la autenticidad en tu vida diaria?




Vídeo relacionado: Las cuatro etapas de la vida.
Seed Questions for Reflection

What do you make of the notion that reaching the stage of the "Seer" involves integrating both the external persona and a deeper, faceless identity? Can you share a personal story that illustrates a moment in your life where you felt torn between the expectations of others and your own internal understanding of who you truly are? What helps you cultivate the habit of consistently recognizing and embracing your facelessness, fostering a sense of liberation and authenticity in everyday life?

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9 Past Reflections
MF
Mari F
Sep 23, 2025
A new concept for me and I like it. One thing that stood out in this day and age was the consistent use of he. As a result I can only visualize a young boy, man. I would have liked to see “they, their” etc.
HA
Sep 23, 2025
The "Face-Game" vs. "The Gaze" The Face-Game orients the child to the outer world; The Gaze is an anchor to the child's inner world. The Gaze - full attention and Presence - I would say ATTUNEMENT - to the child by the caregiver - confirms the child's sense of itself, and becomes a touchstone that it can give itself as it grows, to balance and eventually counter overwhelm by the Face-Game. That is the supreme importance of attunement to children. It is a level of presence that brings the child and the caregiver into resonance; the caregiver's steady full presence provides the child with the safety in which to experience its own being-to-itself. I would suggest that as the child grows, the continued GAZE of the caregiver adapts to the child's development, and grows along with it - enhancing the experience of both. In that way, the child's native gifts come forward into the field created by the attunement between child and caregiver, and its creativity gains the space to grow and ex... View full comment
ER
Sep 23, 2025
Wow, indeed! I would say my whole existence is full of examples. A present one of choosing to divorce a wonderful human being despite expectations and perceived better judgement because I realized I want more and different out of my short time on this earth. I want to live fully, passionately, honestly, and with integrity. I want to embrace the discomfort of paving my own path forward... What a journey!
ST
Sep 23, 2025
Wow!!!! this is a fascinating concept and discussion. I certainly can not summon a time when I felt "faceless". It seems that even in my infancy I had taken on fears, sadness, related to my mother and ancestral emotional stuff. I remember hiding a lot in my life. So concerned about how I might be seen that being seen felt dangerous. It is an ongoing process for me to really love myself regardless of how others see me. Just yesterday, Maronda and I did tachlich ceremony of releasing beliefs or habits into the stream and my need for outside validation was one of the things I released. I am very involved in community work and have not found a way to be "faceless". I feel that I am much more authentic and accepting and in love with my current " masks" then any time previously in this life.
B
Sep 23, 2025
I feel my 30yr. daughter is struggling with this concept, pretty much stuck in stage 3. She is depressed and I do not know how to reach her. I fear for her and her internal struggles that she is going through. I can relate to this article in myself as well. We all must go through these stages and find a balance and be true to ourselves.
DD
David Doane Sep 23, 2025
I have found that a person talking and taking action help come out of depression. Ex-pression instead of de-pression.
AN
Sep 23, 2025
I see these stages in my son who is 4 1/2. He’s at the point of being angry that he has to play this game. I need to talk to him to let him know that he is allowed to be angry about life not being fair but he needs to be careful how he shows his anger towards the game.
DD
Sep 19, 2025
The statement "To be in the world and not of it' is extremely important to me, and I think of it in reading Richard Lang's essay. Being a Seer involves integrating the external persona, which is being in the world, and one's faceless identity, which is not of the world. For me, it is critically important that the faceless identity be priority and to not forget or lose the faceless self. Personally there was a significant fork in the road time when I was painfully torn between expectations and my real self. I chose real me, I am happy and alive to say. For me, that inner conflict continues to occur but never so profoundly as the time I just referred to. What helps me cultivate the habit of embracing my facelessness is being very aware that the face me is mask me, and faceless me is real me. Very much of faceless me can be in my face living, but the two are different.
JP
Sep 18, 2025
What does true seeing mean? We have an external persona and a deeper faceless identity. Who am I, what is my true self?
This is an important question to ask and explore. It is not easy to always be oneself. There may be fear of others judging me and abandoning me. To be oneself I need to overcome such fears and be my true self, true to myself.
There are times when we hide our defects and project ourselves as defectless persona and there are times when we project out true self. We get torn between our internal true identity-who indeed I am and how I want to be seen in the eyes of others, not hiding myself from others and from myself. When I constantly live this way I am transparent to myself and to the eyes of others in my life. Cultivating this attitude fosters a sense of liberation from myself and from others. I feel transparent and authentic. I do not need to hide myself from myself and from others. I feel free and liberated.
Namaste!
Jagdish P Dave