Loving Your Enemy

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Amar a tu enemog@
por el hermano David Steindl-Rast

Amar a nuestros enemig@s no significa que de repente nos volvamos sus amig@s. Si son nuestr@s enemig@s a los que debemos amar, deben permanecer siendo enemig@s. Si no tienes enemig@s, no puedes amarl@s. Y si no tienes enemig@s, me pregunto si tienes amig@s. En el momento en que elijes a tus amig@s, sus enemig@s se convierten en tus propi@s enemig@s. Al tener principios, nos hacemos enemig@s de los que se oponen a estos principios. Pero asegurémonos de estar de acuerdo en lo que queremos decir con términos como amig@, enemig@, odio o amor.

La intimidad mutua que compartimos con nuestr@s mejores amig@s es uno de los más grandes regalos de la vida, pero no siempre se manifiesta cuando llamamos a alguien amig@. La amistad no necesita ni siquiera ser mutua. ¿Qué tal organizaciones como Amig@s de Nuestra Biblioteca Local? o ¿Amig@s de elefantes y de otras especies en peligro de extinción? La amistad permite muchos grados de cercanía y toma muchas formas diferentes. Lo que implica siempre es el apoyo activo de aquell@s a quienes hicimos nuestr@s amig@s y el compromiso para ayudarles a alcanzar sus metas.

Con l@s enemig@s es exactamente lo contrario. Después de todo, la misma palabra "enemigo" proviene del latín "inimicus", que significa simplemente "no un amigo". Por supuesto que no todo el que no es un amigo es por lo tanto un enemigo. Los enemigos son oponentes, no son oponentes en un juego (como en los deportes o juegos), sino que están en oposición mutua con nosotr@s en asuntos de profunda interés. Sus metas se oponen a nuestras aspiraciones más elevadas. Por lo tanto, por convicción debemos tratar activamente de impedirles alcanzar sus metas. Podemos hacerlo amorosamente, o no, y así nos encontramos frente frente a la posibilidad de amar a nuestr@s enemig@s.

El amor en cada una de sus formas es un "sí" vivido para pertenecer. Lo llamo un "si vivido", porque la mera manera en que las personas amorosas viven y actúan dice fuerte y claramente: "Si, te afirmo y te respeto y te deseo lo mejor. Como miembr@s de la familia cósmica pertenecemos junt@s y esta pertenencia es mucho más profunda que cualquier cosa que pueda dividirnos." De un modo alrevezado, el "Si" a la pertenencia está incluso presente en el odio. Mientras que el amor dice este si con gozo y con cariño, el odio lo dice a regañadientes con animosidad, con irritación. Aún así, incluso quien odia reconoce esta pertenencia mutua. ¿No han habido momentos en tu vida en los que no pudiste dicernir si amabas o odiabas a alguien cercano a tu corazón? Esto demuestra que el odio no es lo contrario del amor. Lo contrario del amor (y del odio) es la indiferencia.

Amar a nuestros enemigos es un ideal para los seres humanos de cualquier tradición espiritual. Mahatma Gandhi lo practicó no menos inspiradoramente que San Francisco de Asís. Pero recuerda el dicho de Jesús: "Ya oiste lo que se dijo: "Amarás a tu prójimo y odiarás a tu enemigo". Pero yo te digo: "Ama a tus enemigos y ora por los que te persiguen." Mt 3, 43f). Y esto, a su vez, recuerda lo que dijo G. K. Chesterton: "El ideal cristiano no ha sido probado y encontrado queriendo. Se ha encontrado difícilmente; y dejado sin probar. " Difícil, sí, pero eminentemente vale la pena intentarlo, especialmente en un mundo desgarrado por la enemistad.

Preguntas semilla: ¿Qué significa para tí amar a tu enemig@? ¿Puedes compartir una experiencia en la que te hayas vivido el ideal de amar a tus enemigos y de orar por aquell@s que te persiguen? ¿Qué te ayuda a practicar este ideal al mismo tiempo que enfrentas un choque de ideologías?
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Seed Questions for Reflection

What does loving your enemy mean to you? Can you share an experience where you faced up to the ideal of loving your enemies and praying for those who persecuted you? What helps you practice that ideal while facing a clash of ideology?

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11 Past Reflections
PS
Paul Sybor
Nov 29, 2022
When memories of past emotional trauma experienced begin to arise within my mindful awareness, I respond by simply and firmly stating, "Let Stand Clear." Notice I am neither confronting nor running away. Should the same trauma based memory begin to arise 5 minutes, 5 days, or 5 months later, my response remains the same with the same pacified emotional tone, "Let Stand Clear."
GI
Aug 31, 2017
We think we know what love is, but not until we encounter hate in another do we really know what love is. This is love...to give even when we are being hated for the love we have for all--even our enemies. To know that we really aren't separate beings. No, it isn't easy.  It is painful to die to our illusions of separateness and superiority.  But with courage and community, we can live and pray our way into learning this new way of being in the world.
 
PA
Aug 30, 2017
I Love your response Kristin Pedemonti. No one says that it is easy to do this. At no time are we expected to be anything more than Human, certainly not ‘perfect’! Loving our enemies doesn’t mean that we never hate, just that we are quicker to forgive perhaps. It doesn’t mean that we agree with the one who hates, or disagree with the one who takes a less loving stand against the one who hates, perhaps it just means that we are taking a different, more loving (less hating) stance – and that through Grace! If we have hateful words for our opponents, then these too must come to the surface in our lives in order for us to be aware of them, perhaps then seeing our true selves and perhaps in time acknowledging that we are less than perfect too. I found Jagdish P Dave’s response very helpful too, saying that “However, there is the "being" part in the human being.This is composed of empathy, compassion, forgiveness, gratitude and love…” A... View full comment
MD
Aug 29, 2017

 I recently heard a sermon by the now deceased Master Shinjo Ito, co-Founder of Shinnyo-en, in which he emphatically expressed the need to unconditionally accept all people, all sentient beings.  That this total acceptance is our non-dualistic reality.  He did not say that this was easy, but a purifying practice.

AD
Aug 29, 2017

 enemy? which enemy? who are your enemies? are you amarican cowboys regarding everyone else as your enemy??? lol

KP
Aug 28, 2017
 Love you enemy to me means seeing that underneath their anger or maltreatment is often fear and under the fear is hurt. Allowing oneself to sift through the anger, fear to get to the hurt often reveals common values and shared humanity. I've been seeking to hold this space of compassion for all for quite some time and especially since our election here in the US. I am saddened to see dear friends say hateful words of their opponents rather than see the human in front of them. I have posted as much as I can about holding compassion and understanding the hurt that lies underneath the hate. Whew. I have been persecuted on all sides for holding this view. I have been told my compassion for both sides somehow diminishes my taking a stand against the danger of hate. I am not sure I agree. I think hate is not the answer ever. I do think seeking to understand is. What helps me practice is what I shared: see beneath the hate or the difference to what may be hurt or pain and see the human... View full comment
JP
Aug 26, 2017
 " Love in every one of its forms is a lived "yes" to belonging. I call it a "lived yes", because the very way loving people live and act says loudly and clearly, " Yes, I affirm and respect you and I wish you well. As members of the cosmic family we belong together, and this belonging goes far deeper than anything that can ever divide us." These words written by Brother David Steindal-Rast resonate deeply with me. All of us want and yearn to be deeply connected with each other. Life begins with connectedness and grows like a plant by remaining connected with supporting and nourishing elements. In this process we do not learn to hate. As we grow we acquire beliefs that create two groups, in-group and out-group, we and they, us and them- friends and enemies. These groups are the byproducts of human conditioning. However, there is the "being" part in  the human being.This is composed of empathy, compassion, forgiveness, gratitude and love. All  wisdom traditions teac... View full comment
DD
Aug 26, 2017
Loving your enemy means to me that I firmly, honestly, and directly express my disagreement or objection in a way that is kind and compassionate, devoid of anger, hostility, and violence.  Dealing with Trump and many others in our society is a challenge for me.  I'll catch myself saying or thinking that I hate him or them, and I stop myself from going there and instead say or think that I strongly disagree.  I haven't prayed for him or them, but I will, though probably for their enlightenment -- thanks for the reminder.  What helps me practice 'love your enemy' is knowing that we are one and knowing that anger, violence, and hostility are not necessary and are destructive.  People like Gandhi and Martin Luther King were correct that light, not darkness, overcomes darkness, and love, not hate, undoes hate.  Forgiveness, not revenge, heals.  Compassionate objection and dialogue, not war, is loving your enemy and brings peace.  Namaste, that is, I ... View full comment
SS
Aug 25, 2017

 Slowly, in life I learned and am learning that everyone - every person - is a mirror. The person who seems most different from me I learn the most from, about me.  An enemy is someone whose story you haven't heard.  Whenever I take time to listen and look past the differences, I always find more similarities.  Stories connect us human to human in order to see "WE" instead of "us" and "them."  Embrace diversity to achieve unity.

XI
Aug 25, 2017

Walk with me
Break some bread with me
Enemy, why can't you live with me
Who are you
What did I do to you
Wish I know 
Why can't I live with you
We are all born the same
Then we separate
Then the world falls apart
And blame turns to hate
We cannot contemplate
How far apart we are
There is always a way
To that place in your heart

Hated one
Just put down your gun
Done is done
Why can't we live as one
Feel no shame
The air we breath is the same
Heal the pain 
Why do we live in vain

HA
Harpreet Sep 4, 2017

 Upon reflection, I feel that an "Enemy" would be one whose point of view I have not taken the time to know, and reflect  upon the fact that we are all come from the same source and so the "enemy" is no different than me, expect for having different wounds and heartaches growing up and therefore developing a different point of View than my viewpoint.