How Observation Changes Relationships

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Image of the Week
Cómo la observación cambia las relaciones
--por Vimala Thakar
Cuando nos sentamos en silencio, ¿qué hacemos? Nos sentamos y observamos las actividades voluntarias e involuntarias del cuerpo y la mente. Lentamente, las actividades voluntarias terminan, pero las actividades involuntarias que hemos heredado desde el nacimiento, desde nuestra familia, religión, raza, nacionalidad, que llenan la mente, continúan y nos sentamos y observamos su desarrollo.
Como estamos acostumbrados a trabajar todo el tiempo, al principio nos puede resultar difícil sentarnos tranquilos o el cuerpo puede quedarse dormido debido a la fatiga acumulada. Si esto sucede, es deseable descansar el cuerpo durante unos días hasta que esté fresco de nuevo. Mientras te sientas en silencio, surgirán pensamientos, ya que la mente ha estado trabajando durante 24 horas. Los pensamientos no se pueden suprimir ni se pueden desechar en cualquier lugar, solo se pueden observar, no nombrarlos como buenos o malos. Entonces estás libre de los roles de un experimentador y un actor, entras en el estado de un observador de atención no reactiva.
Tan pronto como la mente comienza a moverse y dice: "Me gusta" o "No me gusta" a lo que ve, hay una perturbación, una carga de la mente y el papel del observador se pierde y una vez más estás inmerso en los roles de experimentador y actor. Si no reaccionas a los pensamientos que estás observando, si ya no tienen el poder de provocar ninguna reacción de ti, entonces se calmarán por sí mismos.
Tenemos que extender esta actitud de observación a las relaciones. Una vez que el estado del observador se despierta, cambia las relaciones. Es una tremenda energía que se despierta. Cuando la observación se convierte en un estado continuo a lo largo del día, entonces:
(1) No hay autoengaño. No ocultamos nada de nosotros mismos. No queda nada como subconsciente o inconsciente, todo se revela en la observación. Ahora solo existe el nivel consciente.
(2) Dejamos de engañar a los demás o de presentar una imagen diferente de nosotros mismos a los demás. Ver lo que es, sin justificación ni condena, destruye la imagen. Ahora tenemos el coraje de vivir y ser lo que somos.
(3) Nos damos cuenta de todo lo que está sucediendo dentro de nosotros, de las diferentes emociones que surgen dentro de nosotros, por ejemplo, si empezamos a enfadarnos, nos damos cuenta de ello y, por lo tanto, la presión de la ira afloja su control sobre nosotros.
(4) Reconocemos y admitimos nuestros errores; Pidiendo perdón de inmediato, liberando así la mente de la carga del residuo.
(5) A través de la observación, los pensamientos disminuyen, por lo que la tensión y la presión que causan en los sistemas neurológicos y químicos también se eliminan. Es esta tensión la que provoca el comportamiento antisocial.
(6) El dolor y el placer no se llevan más allá del momento presente; así no se forman rencores ni apegos. El arte de vivir es vivir completamente en el momento, sin llevar ningún residuo al siguiente incidente, persona o día.



Preguntas semilla para la reflexión: ¿Cómo te relacionas con la idea de no trasladar ningún residuo a la siguiente experiencia? ¿Puedes compartir una historia personal de un momento en el que tu compromiso con la observación cambiase tu relación? ¿Cómo practicas la observación mientras bajas el ritmo?
por Vimala Thakar.
Seed Questions for Reflection

How do you relate to the notion of not carrying any residue over into the next experience? Can you share a personal story of a time your commitment to observation changed your relationship? How do you practice observation while staying checked in?

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8 Past Reflections
JO
Dec 27, 2018
 When I sit in silence, this is what I like to do.. I put away all thoughts of what others would like me to be, I put away the dream of who my parents and grandparents, and even my children would like me to be. I put away all that society expects of me.  I let-go of the burden of acting a part anyone would like me to play. And I consider the Creator, and who the Creator created me to be. I was created for life, for joy, for love, for service. I was not created to do the will of anyone except the Creator. I was created because it made the Creator happy. Basically.. I was created to just BE.. to enjoy the moment.. because everything else is not real (including my thoughts). Only what is happening right now is real, because what is in the past is in the past, and what is in the future hasn't happened yet.    My experience is both spiritual and physical. And I need both to function as the Creator intended me to be.    The key to living a good life is ... View full comment
SU
Dec 18, 2018

 This is really powerful for me.  I have experienced this observer role and my behavior and response, and have been able to adjust in the morment and respond more positively. I have also failed and experienced the residual feelings that the author describes.  It is plain and simply awareness. My awareness is still growing. I can see the impact on the relationship with myself and others... very cool!

DD
Dec 15, 2018

 It's not possible to not carry any residue over into the next experience.  Our experience becomes partof us and carries over.  We may resolve and/or become free of some or even a  great deal of residue, but not all.  We never become 100% clean of all residue.  The residue we're stuck with sneaks up on us and overlays a next experience.  My commitment to nonjudgmental observation always changes my relationship, helps it be present and honest, free of game playing.  You practice observation by practicing becoming aware of and letting go of interferences such as preconceived notions, efforts to control, judgments, predictions, goals, and practicing simply being in the present.

SD
Sidney Dekoven Dec 19, 2018

Well, I like everything you say, David, and usually do, However I do believe that it is possible that a fully awakened being living completely in the present, carries no residue at all over from his/her current experience. That that is what Moksha means ot call it Liberation or Enlightenment without quotation marks, And yes, for the 99.999% of the rest of us, well, we do the best we can.  Sidney

DD
david doane Dec 26, 2018

 Hi Sidney -- Thank you for responding.  Perhaps you are right -- I wonder -- maybe only 99.001% of us carry some residue from one experience into the next, and .001% of us carry no residue at all.  I think -- I don't know but am thinking -- that every thing gets physically metabolized into our physical being and in some way never goes away, and that every experience gets experientially metabolized into our essential being and in some way never goes away, metabolized into Being that we are part of and then downloads into the being that I am, and in that way never goes away but is residue that stays accessible to me and is triggered and activated in a next experience.  Like I said, I wonder.  David

JP
Dec 14, 2018
 I feel deeply connected with what Vimla Thakar writes in her essay. When I sit quetly as a non-ractive observer, I feel myself free from  the burden or grip of the pleassant or painful thoughts and emotions about the future or residual effects stored in my subconscious and unconscious mind. I flow in the stream of pure consciousness.This is the art of living completely in the moment as Vimalatai states," not carrying any residue over to next incident, person, or day." This is the pure sate witnessing consciousness without the bonage of grudges or attachments. The art of living is a continuous journey of remaining awakened and aware of the trappings we create in our lives. I go through this expereince almost everyday. I get severe arthritic physical pain in my neck and shoulders. This is a chronic physical sensory experience for me. When woorysome thoughts and emotions come to my mind, my physical pain turns into suffering. What helps me is noticing non-judgementally and non... View full comment
SS
Dec 14, 2018

 The master doesn't seek fulfillment.  Not seeking, not expecting, she is present, and welcomes all things. - The Tau te Ching.   Practice, practice, practice - today I practice being in this day, again.  When I do, I live in the fullness of this eternal now,.... for one millisecond, but what joy!

ME
me Dec 16, 2018

 Amen!