Come Home to Love, by Rick Hanson

VUELVE A HABITAR EN EL AMOR
Rick Hanson

“Inspira por un momento y aprecia la riqueza que contiene el aire: está repleto del oxígeno que nos da la vida y que los árboles y demás plantas nos ofrecen generosamente. El aire no se ve, pero siempre está ahí, disponible para ti.

El amor se parece bastante al aire. Puede que cueste verlo, pero se halla en tu interior, y también a tu alrededor.

En el periodismo de la vida, protagonizado por los problemas en nuestras relaciones personales – aparte del bombardeo de noticias que recibimos sobre guerras y demás conflictos– es fácil que no seamos capaces de percibir el amor, y hasta puede que perdamos la fe en su existencia. Pero el hecho es que, resumiendo lo que decía Gandhi: la vida cotidiana está repleta de momentos en los que prima la cooperación y la generosidad – y no solo entre los miembros de una familia, o entre amigos, sino ¡entre personas que ni siquiera se conocen!

El amor está en la fibra de tu cotidiano, pues forma parte de tu ADN: muchos profesionales de la ciencia sostienen que, a medida que nuestros ancestros han ido evolucionando a lo largo de los últimos millones de años, el amor, en su definición más amplia, fue lo que operó como principal fuerza impulsora de la evolución del cerebro. Los grupos de humanos primitivos que destacaban por su capacidad de empatía y solidaridad, vencieron a otros grupos menos cooperativos y bondadosos. Y de ahí que transmitieran los genes de la empatía, el vínculo, la amistad, el altruismo, la pasión, la compasión y la bondad; en resumen: los genes del amor.

No obstante, a pesar de que cuando tu cerebro está en su “estado natural”, es decir, en calma – sin sentir estrés, dolor o amenaza – habita en el amor, es muy fácil que algo tan insignificante como un comentario crítico durante una reunión de trabajo, o un ceño fruncido a la hora de la cena, te saquen de ese estado. Y entonces viajamos a una especie de exilio interno, alejándonos por una temporada de la que es nuestra genuina morada. Y quedamos atrapados en el miedo, o en la rabia, lo que hace que percibamos al amor como si fuera un sueño casi olvidado. Después de un tiempo, este estado puede convertirse en nuestro nuevo estado por defecto, de modo que lleguemos a percibir ese exilio como nuestro “hogar”. Es como si nos acostumbráramos a respirar superficialmente y nos olvidáramos de toda esa cantidad de aire que tendríamos disponible en caso de que se nos ocurriera respirar hondo.

Así que necesitamos volver a habitar en el amor. Necesitamos identificar el amor que se aloja en nuestro corazón y confiar en él – en ese amor que te llenará de energía y te protegerá, incluso cuando hayas de mostrarte de manera asertiva frente a otros. Necesitamos poder reconocer y tener fe en el amor que habita en los demás – incluso cuando aparece velado, o se manifiesta de formas que nos parece que no están bien. Necesitamos confiar en que el amor es algo que está tan presente como el aire, y que amar es algo tan natural como respirar.”

Rick Hanson es neuropsicólogo y lleva meditando desde 1974. Entre sus libros se encuentra: El Cerebro de Buda y La Madre que se Cuida. Dirige un grupo de meditación que se reúne semanalmente en San Rafael, California.

Rick Hanson is a neuropsychologist who has been meditating since 1974. His books include Buddha's Brain and Mother Nurture. He leads a weekly meditation group in San Rafael, California.

Seed Questions for Reflection

What does coming home to love mean to you? Can you share a personal experience of a time when you realized that love was like air? What helps you to remember to breathe deeply?

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19 Past Reflections

christinavorce

Jan 25, 2024

{whatsapp}+[1267]332]4746] hello everyone .in love and marriage there comes a time when i almost give up heading for divorce because of infidelity and infertility problems until i met priest jaja who solve my problems just in seven days and get my lover back to me, ever since my partner i had two kids.any one going through similar problem i mentioned

Deepak

Dec 8, 2014

Love at home begins for me from the inner core of my being . That space , the silence which I connect to everyday after waking up and learn to be with myself . that is home , that is where love is for me , a candle ever burning brightly at home . .Loving myself and from here this love flows outwards to others who I connect in my life . A deep feeling of love and compassion as I move on in life .

Ammi

Sep 3, 2014

Love is selfless service - with a smile - at any age. When I was a little girl, I would gleefully help sweep and mop the house feeling pride in being trusted with adult jobs. When I was a young lady, I happily did all within my power to make my husband at the time happy. As a mother, I cleaned up and soothed the sick child, always with a smile, and continue to be the driver, the cook, the housekeeper and everything else that my young lad takes for granted ! I feel loved when someone enables me to be 'home' - where I can simply relax enough to breathe deeply naturally

Norma

Sep 2, 2014

For me, coming home to love is resting in the deep understanding that we are all connected and my well of compassion spills over to those that are suffering.

AJ Sep 4, 2014

Amen and Thank you Norma! Compassion and Love . . . Hand in hand.

RHONDA

Sep 2, 2014

NAMASTE!

Dandapani Y

Sep 1, 2014

Love, loving is embedded in all living things , human included. In the animals when we find this trait we simply say that they are programmed by nature. But the same thing is there in the human beings too. Programmed. Yet the Freewill that we possess makes that think that we can control everything. " I will love if I like. I will love if I want. " the moment this "I" takes over love is no longer in its pure form. It is contaminated .

So, I think, that to feel love and to feel loved back the "I" should recede in the back ground . This is where an understanding Self Knowledge would help.

Rebecca McCarty Sep 9, 2014

Being masters the mind by degrees.

Always Love Sep 10, 2014

Thru Him, with Him and In Him we can master our minds as well. My way less successful.

david doane

Sep 1, 2014

There are different kinds of love, of course. One very important love is romantic love that involves chemistry, attraction, enjoying and wanting to be with the other. Another very important love is spiritual love which is based on being in union with the Source/God/Infinite Being that manifests in each of us and results in love/compassion/care towards others which is based on awareness that there are no others, that is, based on on our oneness. That spiritual love is our foundation, and coming home to love means to me coming to that awareness, abiding in that awareness, and acting out of that awareness. That spiritual love is like air in that we live in it, and probably because of it, and I realize it only during those times that I am aware of it, such as in my own meditation or reflection, and unfortunately I tend to often forget it when in the busyness of my living. Breathing in deeply the awareness that we are one, developing the habit to do so, ... View full comment

Jo Sep 8, 2014

David, this is beautiful! Thank you for sharing!
God blessed me with one whom I am spiritually connected. He is my "anam cara" and I am thankful. I rarely see him but he is always near.

p. murugan

Aug 30, 2014

Love is a natural force embedded within the hearts of all of us. It is just that over time we have smothered our love with all sorts of feelings such as hate and bitterness acquired through material pursuits. We must let go all these negative feelings that drains our energy. We must just give love to all living things without expecting love in return. Be not judgemental of the other persons perceived dislike of you. Given them love anyway. You will always receive love and be happy all the time.

Kristin Pedemonti

Aug 29, 2014

Coming home to love means recognizing it is truly our natural state. When we are at home in our own love in our own heart, we can then reach out and love others. All of them. :) Here's to trusting in love as we trust in breathing. I realize love is like air especially when sharing LOVE with others even in what may be very small ways. Example, FREE HUGS. Opening up and hugging strangers filled the heart so much it was then easier to openly love in challenging situations, for example with a difficult family member. Here's to expanding out love inward and outward. HUGS from my heart to yours!

Rebecca McCarty Aug 29, 2014

YES!

Rebecca McCarty

Aug 29, 2014

The word "love", in English, has many meanings. When I was a child, I "loved" my mother, chocolate ice cream, to play with my friends, the color red... etc.. As a young person I "loved" science fiction, an actor in a TV show, the cute boy in class, my dog, horses, someone's hair... the list went on, of course. As a young adult, I "loved" my current boyfriend, going to parties with my friends, helping other young people out...and so on and so forth. As a mature adult, my "ideas" about what the word "love" means has developed, matured. I have suffered the meaning of the word, and have transformed much of that suffering into a deeper understanding of the higher aspects of "love". I have also learned, that the word is so loosely used, in general speaking, that it is actually inadequate, to communicate the particular emotional state I wish to express. In "talking" about "love" (which can actually, only be felt), then, I must, for the sake of honest communication, give an exact description, to the sense, in which, I am using the word.

The Greeks have four words for love, "storge", which is a kind of natural affection between ourselves and our close associates, familial love, we can even feel this type of love for our pets. Then there is " philia", which is brotherly love, a deep and abiding friendship, where one wants the best for the other and tries to do that for them. "Eros" is romantic, passion for another, with sexual overtones, it is a very strong desire to merge, with the other, it can easily become connected, over time, with a desire to own or possess the other, if this happens it usually turns into something negative. The last Greek word for "love" is "agape". Agape is a kind of unconditional love, one that cannot change, it is an enduring love, the love we have for all humanity, our love for the Universal creator, the love we have for our own higher self, that is, our own little bit of BEING, and ultimately it is a kind of unconditional "love" for all bits of BEING everywhere, as all BEING arises from the same source, and so far as we our selves partake of BEING, we are that BEING, and so is all BEING ad-infinitum. Agape is the love of "God", yet to experience this love, one must find, and awaken "the God BEING", dwelling in one's own heart.

For me, this last form of love, "agape", is the form of love I have learned to call "home". I don't find my way to this home in my heart, that often. It is not easy to remain there when I do, the mind produces, so much that distracts me away from that place, automatic programming, opinions, judgment about everything and anything. To be there, I must be "here", in the present, it takes work, it requires conscious effort, to operate from this moment, to bring my BEING into this state of "love". It requires a certain kind of special energy to maintain my attention here.And I cannot sustain my attention, here, for too long, I experience this state in flashes, yet even the briefest moment, brings the wisdom and understanding of my connectedness. I am connected to you, and you are connected to me, we are connected to all BEING. Like you, I am one of the myriad creatures, one speck of all the forms of BEING has taken, experiencing, advancing, with you, creating this reality, which is home.

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Paashi Sep 1, 2014

Thanks for this reflection..... I feel a present moment connection to the energy your written words are expressing. The Agape state is the nourishment of Beingness. May we all evolve towards it moment by moment. I too only experience it in brief flashes of awareness.

Rebecca McCarty Sep 6, 2014

Paashi, Thank-you for your efforts to be "present", each effort elevates the level of Being of the whole of humanity.

aj Sep 6, 2014

You are here too! Thank you!

Rebecca McCarty Sep 9, 2014

Yes aj, I am now, you reminded me, so HERE I am, in the moment. BEING, reminded TO BE, is so valuable, and forgetting TO BE is so easy, like "falling off a log", as 'they' say here in the USA. One method I find quite helpful in this process of penetrating the present, after I receive a reminder such as your post, which has the effect of causing me to realize I have been sleep walking (so to speak), is to quickly make the effort that it takes to "find" myself and to RETURN to the present, instead of feeling bad about having been "asleep" as I often used to do, wasting, thereby, the opportunity TO BE. I keep making these small invisible efforts TO BE, when ever I remember to do so, for my own spiritual development, and also to participate in the elevation of ALL BEING, love for the whole of humanity, and the other forms that BEING has chosen to actualize, is the motivation, which propels the BEING residing between the "temple walls", of this body form, into the ever changing moment. In this experience I am so glad to meet you HERE. Together we, along with all the others making similar efforts, are the "leaven", our efforts TO BE are what raises the whole. From our efforts TO BE, all hope springs forth, our gratitude for the efforts of other(s) gives birth, in our own spirit, to higher forms of love. Thank-you for BEING, no matter, when ever or where ever or whom ever YOU ARE.