Vulnerability is the Path, by Brene Brown

अतिसंवेदनशीलता ही मार्ग है
-- ब्रीन ब्राउन (६ अप्रैल, २०१६)

अतिसंवेदनशीलता अच्छी या बुरी नहीं है: यह वो नहीं है जिसे हम बुरी भावना मानते हैं, न ही यह हमेशा एक उजला, सकारात्मक अनुभव है। अतिसंवेदनशीलता सभी भावनाओं और विचारों का मूल है। महसूस करना ही अतिसंवेदनशील होना है। यह मानना कि अतिसंवेदनशीलता कमज़ोरी है, यह मानना है कि महसूस करना कमज़ोरी है। अपने भावनात्मक जीवन पर यह सोचकर रोक लगा देना कि इसकी कीमत बहुत अधिक पड़ेगी, उस चीज़ से दूर भागना है जो हमारे जीवन को उद्देश्य और अर्थ देती है।

असुरक्षा की भावना की हमारी अस्वीकृति अक्सर हमारे उसे बुरी भावनाओं जैसे शर्म, दु: ख, उदासी, और निराशा से जोड़ने से पैदा होती है - वो भावनाएँ जिनके बारे में हम बात नहीं करना चाहते, चाहे वो हमारे जीने, प्यार करने, काम करने और आगे बढ़ने के तरीके पर पूरी तरह असर डालती हों। हम में से ज़्यादातर लोग यह समझने में भूल करते हैं और जिसे मुझे समझने में दस साल के अनुसंधान की ज़रूरत पड़ी, वो यह यह है कि जिन भावनाओं और अनुभवों की हम लालसा करते हैं, उनका उदगम अतिसंवेदनशीलता से ही होता है। अतिसंवेदनशीलता प्यार, अपनेपन, खुशी, साहस, और रचनात्मकता का जन्मस्थान है। यह आशा, सहानुभूति, जवाबदेही और प्रामाणिकता का स्रोत है। अगर हम अपने उद्देश्य को अच्छी तरह से समझना या अधिक गहरा या अधिक सार्थक आध्यात्मिक जीवन जीन चाहते हैं, तो अतिसंवेदनशीलता ही उसका मार्ग है।

मैं जानता हूँ कि यह मानना मुश्किल है, खासकर जब हमने अपना जीवन यह सोचते हुए बिताया है कि असुरक्षा की भावना और कमजोरी पर्यायवाची शब्द हैं, लेकिन यह सच है। मैं असुरक्षितता को अनिश्चितता, खतरे, और भावनात्मक जोखिम के रूप में परिभाषित करता हूँ। मन की उस परिभाषा के साथ, प्रेम के बारे में सोचते हैं। [...] प्रेम अनिश्चित है। यह अविश्वसनीय रूप से जोखिम भरा है। और किसी को प्यार करना हमें भावनात्मक रूप से जोखिम में डाल देता है। हाँ, यह डरावना है, और हाँ, हमें चोट लग सकती है, लेकिन क्या बिना किसी को प्यार किये या किसी से प्यार पाए, अपने जीवन की कल्पना कर सकते हैं।

अपनी कला, अपने लेखन, अपनी फोटोग्राफी, अपने विचारों को हम उनकी स्वीकृति या प्रशंसा के आस्वासन के बिना दुनिया के सामने रख देते हैं - वो भी अतिसंवेदनशीलता है। अपने आप को जीवन के हर्षित क्षणों में डूबने देना, भले ही हम जानते हैं कि वो क्षणभंगुर हैं, भले ही दुनिया हमें कहती रहती है कि ज़्यादा खुश मत होओ, नहीं तो सिर पर मुसीबत पड़ेगी - यह असुक्षित होने के भाव का सबसे तीक्ष्ण रूप है।
गहरा खतरा इस बात का है, जैसा कि ऊपर उल्लेख किया गया है, हम महसूस करने को कमजोरी समझना शुरू कर देते हैं। क्रोध को छोड़ कर (जो एक उप भावना है, जो बहुत सी अधिक मुश्किल अंतर्निहित भावनाऐं जिन्हें हम महसूस करते हैं, उनके लिए केवल एक सामाजिक रूप से स्वीकार्य मुखौटे का काम करता है), हम भावनाओं और साथ ही असुरक्षितता के लिए अपन धैर्य खो रहे हैं।

यह बात समझ में आने लगती है कि हम असुरक्षितता को कमज़ोरी समझकर तभी नकारते हैं जब हम यह जान जाते हैं कि हमने महसूस करने को नाकाम होना और भावनाओं को जिम्मेवारी समझ लिया है। अगर हम अपने जीवन के ज़रूरी भावनात्मक हिस्से को पुनः पाना और अपने जुनून और उद्देश्य को सुलगाना चाहते हैं, तो हमें अपनी असुरक्षितता को अपनाना और उसके साथ जूझना और जो भावनाएं उसके साथ आती हैं, उन्हें महसूस करना सीखना होगा। हम में से कुछ के लिए यह नयी सीख है, और दूसरों के लिए यह फिर से सीखना है। दोनों ही हाल में, मेरे अनुसंधान ने मुझे सिखाया है कि शुरू करने के लिए सबसे अच्छी जगह है असुरक्षितता को परिभाषित करना, पहचानना, और समझना।

विचार के लिए कुछ मूल प्रश्न: आप इस बात से क्या समझते हैं कि असुरक्षितता ही गहरे और अधिक सार्थक आध्यात्मिक जीवन का मार्ग है? क्या आप कोई व्यक्तिगत अनुभव बाँट सकते हैं जब खुद को असुरक्षित होने देने के कारण आपको ज्ञान का दान मिला हो? आपको असुरक्षितता के साथ काम करने में किस चीज़ से मदद मिलती है?

यह लेख ब्रीन ब्राउन की पुस्तक “बहुत बहादुरी करना: असुरक्षित होने का साहस हमारे जीने, प्यार करने, बच्चों को पालने और आगे बढ़ने के तरीके को कैसे रूपांतरित कर देता है”, से लिया गया है।

Excerpted from Brene Brown's book â€‹Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.

Seed Questions for Reflection

How do you relate to the notion that vulnerability is the path to deeper or more meaningful spiritual lives? Can you share a personal experience of a gift of learning that came from allowing yourself to be vulnerable? What helps you to allow yourself to engage with vulnerability?

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21 Past Reflections

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Nov 26, 2019

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Pinto williams Jan 22, 2024

Vulnerability is power unnoticed

crystal

May 14, 2019

but what is the pathway out of vulnerability?

Linda Dingeldein

Jul 25, 2018

As always I find these concepts so profoundly challenging and "right on!" So much is uncertain in life that I often find it hard to even take one-risky step towards center stage. Just the thought of being that vulnerable creates an overwhelming sense of exposure! One that I cannot cover up or hide. The world sees the real me and that can be terrifying. Lately I have been taking the risk to enter center stage or the arena. To put my words, my thoughts, my art and photography "out there". Just by doing this I realize that I cannot expect applause or even appreication of others. But I also realize, that to not take the risk will be going against who I really am as a person and as the Beloved of God. Linda Jane Dingeldein:Different by Design

luv4all

Apr 6, 2016

This act of kindness, back from 2011 is appropriate on this topic, hence sharing: There is a mentally retarded person who keeps standing near my office from 1-2 months. He is in rugged, torn clothes, v dirty. He has lost his mind and hence i was a little scared to help him initially. One day, I saw him searching dustbin and picking out a coke bottle, he was thirsty. I felt sad, disliked the scene and bought him a coke. He looked at me for a moment, a deep stare and then accepted it. After that I noticed him many times. I realised that he has become childlike, doesnt know what to do, keeps standing here and there making movements or faces like a small kid. Sometimes i choose to ignore him, for several reasons as i visit the place almost every other day, and as he has lost his brain, i dont want any incidence to happen, neither do i want him to ask me for food everyday. There are few colleagues around too. However, I did oserve him few days and I find him innocent and suf... View full comment

One day, I saw him searching dustbin and picking out a coke bottle, he was thirsty. I felt sad, disliked the scene and bought him a coke. He looked at me for a moment, a deep stare and then accepted it.

After that I noticed him many times. I realised that he has become childlike, doesnt know what to do, keeps standing here and there making movements or faces like a small kid. Sometimes i choose to ignore him, for several reasons as i visit the place almost every other day, and as he has lost his brain, i dont want any incidence to happen, neither do i want him to ask me for food everyday. There are few colleagues around too.

However, I did oserve him few days and I find him innocent and suffering, I felt one with him. If i dont have money tomorrow or lose my head, people would treat me similarly, how scary. It brings a tear in my eye. He needs someone to take him home, wash him, give him food and a lot of love. He should be fine may be or may be not but he needs someone to take care day on day.

So another day, when i felt bad, i purchased him another coke, he again observed me and accepted it. He acknowledged me by giving a short deep look. I felt so good by his reaction.

Today, when i went for tea my mad friend was roaming around. He has started recognising me and gives me a look as if saying 'this is someone nice' when i pass by him. He went past me 2-3 times and was just playing with his hands. It was little cold today and i thought he needed tea as well. While going back i couldnt stop myself from going and asking him for tea. I dont know which language he understands but surely the language of care, he does. He nodded. I called him and pointed to a spot and asked him to quietly stand there. Like an obeidient child he sat exactly at that point. How innocent and vulnerable. He kept waiting for 2-3 min without any fuss or moving around. I could see the trust he had how wonderful. I have been scared when i can protect myself, atleast try to. He trusts me blindly when he cannot even understand if i cheat or harm him.

I gave him tea and a small snack. He took it and started eating like a kid.

I had come to the tea stall a little disturbed due to some work related tension, i went back feeling calm and peaceful. He gave me respect and trust though he is totally vulnerable. He expressed gratitude in his own way though he cannot even express his own needs. I cry as I write this and think about him and his condition, yet that small moment was so powerful for both of us. He was accepted and cared for as a human being and I was treated like 'God' by this person who people call mad.

What a b'ful communication God has made beyond language, words and mind; just the ability to give and accept love and gratitude.

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Bhaavin Shah

Apr 5, 2016

I recently took a penniless pilgrimage to the Himalayas all by myself on foot with a one-way ticket and no gadgets. That was one of the most vulnerable things I have done in my life. It left me with such insights and humbling experiences, that no amount of reading or meditation could have brought. In gratitude for the wonderful article :)

Lloyd Hansen

Apr 5, 2016

I agree with the observation that vulnerability is a condition of being. I suggest that we can choose to be consciously or mindfully vulnerable or we can choose, often by default, to be threatened or overwhelmed by vulnerability. One approach moves from love and abundance, the other from fear and scarcity. I know that there are times when I am in fear and need, and so vulnerability can feel like weakness. There are ever more times when I am in my heart which I have opened to another, and I experience vulnerability as a great strength for I have learned through practice that it is in vulnerability that I connect most deeply with others, with spiritual meaning, and with this amazing universe and our beautiful planet.

me Apr 5, 2016

Amen.
When I was a girl (growing up in my parents home) I felt extremely vulnerable. My home lacked peace, predictability and the freedom/ability to verbalize fears/ideas contrary to my parents rule. We were invited to leave any time we did not adhere to "the way things were done here". Too, I grew up in an age where "you did not air out dirty laundry"! I was weak. I learned not to have an opinion. I learned to do as I was told. I learned to submit.
Interestingly, it wasn't until my boyfriend (now husband) came along, when I was a junior in high school, that I noticed "improved thinking" within my home. Hmmm ... Not a surprise, I became comfortable when with my "boyfriend" as he became a force for the good within our home and personal protection for me.
Today, I am still weak and needy though the "forces around me" have changed. I believe we all are "incomplete" (greatly vulnerable) until the moment of our "completion" ... union with God.
Until then, we are to love each other deeply ... since we are all in the same boat while here on earth.
You, I love.
Again, amen.

Smile

Apr 5, 2016

I do realize that I have subdued my thoughts, feelings, freedom for years.
I have gotten scared & controlling and lost many gifts, universe kindly bestowed on me, in the past.

I want to allow vulnerability. I want to unlearn my ways. I want to live before I die.

me too! Apr 8, 2016

Amen!

Melora

Apr 5, 2016

Sometimes when I show people the drawings I've done I feel quite nervous. I have to breathe a little deeper in those moments. I've decided that the more nervous I feel, the more vulnerable I feel, and that it's actually a good thing. It means to me that there's probably something I really care about there in that picture I've created. So I try to hang tight and stay open while I feel so vulnerable, even knowing that I might get criticized. In those moments it does seem like a risk! yet so far I have survived, and I believe my art smiles every time I do it.

Me too Apr 5, 2016

Now I want to see your drawings!

david doane

Apr 4, 2016

The author says to feel is to be vulnerable. I believe that to be is to be vulnerable. Everything, living and not living, is vulnerable, that is, hurtable, woundable, damageable. To be human is to not only to be vulnerable but also to feel vulnerable. In addition to humans, much that is living -- I'm not sure if all that is living -- feels vulnerable. Spirituality involves becoming more whole, more of who and what I am, and becoming more whole involves being and allowing and risking vulnerability. Being closed up and trying to prevent vulnerability gets in the way of my becoming more whole and thus gets in the way of my spirituality. Much that I have learned about myself has come as a result of being vulnerable. Some important learnings about myself that came from allowing myself to be vulnerable are that I am more okay, more powerful, more loveable than I believed. What helps me to allow myself to engage with vulnerabi... View full comment

Apr 1, 2016

My DNA allows me to engage with vulnerability. I was born with an "exposed" nervous system which makes me highly vulnerable! I sometimes wish I could be less so ... But there are advantages in being open to all. Empathy, compassion and a whole lot of love have stemmed from it! My antenna picks up on "signals" not all peoples do.
Thankful ... In Quiet ... God's signal picked up loud and clear.

Eva Apr 5, 2016

Jo, does your condition have a formal name? I'm curious to know more about your experience. I'm currently dating someone who has asbergers syndrome and it is very difficult for him to express emotions, especially vulnerability. Being on the opposite end of the spectrum sounds fascinating as I learn more about the role of the nervous system in all of this.

Smita

Apr 1, 2016

The other day I made a visit to the doctor to get a referral for something minor, and when I mentioned some other more "serious" symptoms of dizziness and confusion that I had experienced about a month prior, she started suggesting a vigorous work up -- blood test, this test, that test. I walked out of there feeling overwhelmed by the possibility of going through all these tests, and walked to my car feeling very alone. I cried for a few minutes while sitting in my car, just being with the pure emotion of this feeling alone. Staying close to the raw emotion, I noticed these mind movements of defensiveness that, if followed, could have created some disruption to just experiencing the vulnerability of this feeling alone. For instance, my mind wanted to interrupt with examples and proof of how I *am* alone (which could've easily led me down a road of suffering), and even it's opposite -- examples and proof that I'm *not* alone (pushing away the feeling / talking myself out of it). I also... View full comment

jacks23 Feb 23, 2021

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