Attachment is Habitual Thinking

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Image of the Week

We all judge our experiences through the filter of habitual think­ing. In other words, we are unconsciously driven by how we think, and how we think determines the feelings and opinions we develops toward people, objects and situations. But such opinions and perceptions only distort reality, and unfortunately, we cannot help but interpret reality through self-centered thinking. For example, when we find ourselves in an unsatisfactory situation, we feel angry. We can’t help it. We characterize the experience as bad. But each thought we have also presents an opportunity for change, since every thought is independent and rootless, being empty in nature.

Each thought arises and dissolves simultaneously. Regardless of what the prior thought might have been, the potential for the next thought is unlimited: It can turn toward an infinite number of possible direc­tions and destinations, because a free mind does not have to hold onto a particular trajectory in its thought-movement, nor do thoughts have to follow one another in a fixed pattern. Only due to the habitual mental tendency does our mind functioning become set on a certain predeter­mined path. The so-called habitual tendency (or unconscious mode of mind functioning) refers to the fact that the mind becomes preoccupied by certain thoughts. When one of those thoughts appears, it necessarily triggers a set of corresponding reactions. We experience these reactions with strong inertia. Our habitual mental tendency is the direction our thoughts take when we don’t consciously overcome this inertia to free them from the path of least resistance.

Uncontrollable reactions – especially anger, sadness or sensual indulgences – often become stubborn, nearly unstoppable attachments. It is as if we are an old phonograph record that keeps skipping at the same spot. Attachment is habitual thinking or an idea that occupies and disrupts our inner peace. When the mind becomes dependent on certain people and situations and repeats the same thoughts, it is attachment. When certain people, objects and situations continually bring out the same reactions and emotions in us, this is attachment. When we feel the urge to seek approval from a certain individual or take possession of certain objects, this too is attachment.

Various forms of attachment compel us to repeat thoughts and emotional responses that solidify the mental doors through which we perceive and judge the world. A life driven by attachment will be characterized by the repeated manifestation and deterioration of similar issues and problems. 

--​Miao Tsan, from "Just Use This Mind"

Seed Questions for Reflection

What does attachment mean to you? How do you get more aware of attachments that are limiting you? Can you share a personal experience where you were able to see your attachment in action?

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25 Past Reflections
CK
Catherine Koonce
Aug 25, 2020
Thank you for the explanation I've searched for. I now understand how to counter undesirable mental pictures. And more importantly, I can imagine and imprint productive goals seeking images.. Thanks for everything🤗
NW
nwriter
Jan 23, 2014

 Hi,
Thank-you for the insight.

I think my attachment to my husband and core dependency on him was bothering me.I attended two International Preksha Meditation Camps which freed me from my attachments.Also positive affirmations learnt from Brahmavidya libereated and empowered me tremendousely.

I can now safely say that my mind is free now and small issues seem small!

I can make a stand without getting riled.





BO
Jan 21, 2014

 As this is my first encounter I am open to listen and learn the art of meditation and the benefits I can share and derive from being able to see beyond my historic self. I look forward to the apparent enlightenment others have been able to experience.

PA
Jan 15, 2014
 You see I watched my husband go in for surgery; he was a successful trucking company owner and the surgery went terribly wrong.  I have tried to tell my story a million times but been squelched a million more.  Stories in stories in stories.  I have heard much about meditation and it has helped but just this week I got an e-mail alerting me that the Rehabilitation center was forced to pay out 8.2 million dollars to those patients affected.  This also at the time of our now 17 year old son's  birthday to 18.  A million couldas, shouldas and wouldas that I would love to tangibly throw away as they hurt so deeply.  What amazes me more is how the western cullture views death. We lost my husband but why did we have to lose BOTH families?  Everyone feels uncomfortable so they pretend nothing has changed when in fact it has, it has completely changed our every waking moment.  Thanks for listening. ... View full comment
NI
nita
Jan 15, 2014

 Hi,
This awakening came at a very crucial time. my 35th marriage anniversary is just around the corner and as usual my husband does not have a clue as to how to celebrate it.it makes me  feel that his marriage is not important to him.As usual he will then in the end take me to dinner as planned by my son-imagine my children plan an anniversary dinner.Or, he will tell me to do the needful as if it only matters to me.This time I have decided not to be hurt, but not plan too.I have woken upto the fact that I am alone.

ST
Jan 14, 2014

Beautiful and insightful article... yet not all attachment is bad.   It is the play of life to be attached to those we love deeply.   I've always felt we come here to be attached, to stumble and fall and to rise again.  When does non-attachment become disassociated, not fully in the body and in life?  I remember a reporter described Ramana Maharshi as a dead man walking.  I'm glad he did that for us and lived beyond, beyond, beyond.  It is not my path to be a dead woman walking, however.  I'm here to play the human game...stumbling on rejoicing or bitching as the case may be.  I think there is a balance and art in discovering when attachment is poisonous or unhealthy and when it  is a healthy human experience.  That is certainly my journey and story...and I love a good story!  Lovingly Yours!

PA
Pam Jan 14, 2014

 
Yes, I have an addiction to reliving my husband's journey while hospitalized and I saw millions of errors being made. I cannot release this as it is all I have of him.  He died in 2008. 


PA
Pam Jan 14, 2014

 
Yes, I have an addiction to reliving my husband's journey while hospitalized and I saw millions of errors being made. I cannot release this as it is all I have of him.  He died in 2008. 


DD
david doane Jan 14, 2014

 Sherry, would you like a response to your comments and question?

ST
Sherry Tuegel Jan 14, 2014

Hello David.  What would you like to share with me?

CP
Conrad P Pritscher Jan 14, 2014

 Warm and kind regards. Thanks for sharing this with us. you will be fine.
I'm sure the entire wakin group supports you. Be peace.Conrad

DD
david doane Jan 14, 2014

 Sherry -- I wanted to know if you would like a response to your comments and question.  I'll take a chance.  My thoughts:  I don't know if attachment is bad -- I see it as a different way of being than nonattachment.  I see attachment being a problem when I'm consumed by what I'm attached to, and it has me rather than I have it.  I do think we are here to grow or rise, to use your word, and I think learning through attachment and learning to not attach is an important way we grow and rise.  Non attachment never becomes disassociation.  They are two different phenomena -- like an apple never becomes an orange.  Non attachment is being very aware of the person or thing and being with and enjoying the person or thing while  holding onto me, not getting gobbled up by the attachment, not being enslaved, being in the world but not of it (to use that phrase).  Dis-association is denying of the person or thing -- like someone who has been sexually traumatized and denies/dissociates from sexual feelings.  I do see attachment as being an important part of living, and I suppose in real life we all go through a lot of attachment-detachment in the process of living and learning.  I see detachment being an important part of living too.  The art and balance for me is in being present, involved, engaged, close and detached in most circumstances.  It appears there are situations when I still want to be attached/consumed, though it seems to me that I'm not attached/consumed very often any more -- I think that has a lot to do with aging which is a process of detaching.  I do think that unhealthy unnecessary attachment makes for unhealthy unnecessary suffering.  I like what you say about playing and stumbling and rising and learning -- to me that's the way to go.  Those are my thoughts about those difficult to navigate issues.  Thanks for the opportunity to share my thoughts. 

ST
Sherry Tuegel Jan 15, 2014

 Hello David Doane,  Thank you for sharing your thoughts!  I resonate with what you're saying.  The one phrase that creates some tension in me is "in the world but not of it".  It makes the world substandard, something to be transcended.  I know there is a long tradition of seeing matter as "less than......."  I like the Tantric view of the world - it's all Divine.  It's all a play of the Divine, including our attachment.  We're God playing 'Hide and go seek'.  I certainly have more happiness and joy as I learn to be more open and less stuck on my attachments.    I do see that I've interpreted detachment as not engaged where it may be the opposite, allowing more engagement.  The prison of self obsession is a cruel and familiar one to me and, it seems, to most of us. Aging seems to have helped, yes! Thank you again for your open and kind response.  May we all be happy and live in ease and joy!  Blessings!

DD
david doane Jan 15, 2014

 Sherry -- Thanks for responding again.  I don't at all think the world is substandard.  I do think Being manifests in many different forms, and every form is an expression of Being.  So, they are the same and they are different.  For me that's more than I can really comprehend, I guess it's some of the incomprehensible mystery of Being -- as the Buddhists say, "not one, not two."  What 'be in the world but not of it' means to me is for me to realize that Being gets packaged in many different forms, for me to not be caught at the packaging level and for me to keep awareness also of Being.  I very much agree that all is Divine -- Divine in different forms -- being in the world but not of it is a way for me to be mindful of that.  That seems to be as clear as I think of it for now.  Dave   

RA
Raghuraman Jan 16, 2014

 I agree to the Dave comments. If you read the Gita or dhammapada it comes to the point attachment is misery and that leads to aversion. From my view best way to come out is understanding the attachment and be in awareness or mindfulness and let-go, kindness,gentle and patience those qualities to developed to come out of attachment ( Habitual Thinking).. 
Thanks
Raghu

MI
Jan 14, 2014

My attachment to "resisting allowing something" brings it to me repeatedly until I "face my fear".  I finally "surrendered" & was "gifted" by the experience I so dreaded!  The Universe is a patient teacher.  Grateful.

ME
Me Jan 14, 2014

 I so wish I could hear the rest of this story.  Bits and pieces helpful, but I wish I could read your biography.  Grateful, too.

DE
Jan 12, 2014

 Thomas Kempis, in his best seller, ‘Imitation of Christ’ says that if we were to fulfill one New Year’s Resolution every year, as time goes by, we’d be near perfect human beings. On the contrary, in our Annual stocktaking, some of us find that we’re worse off than before.
Our habitual faults/sins are like a snake laying chickpea eggs, while nesting in the neuro channels of our Brain /Mind. When we resolve to abandon our evil desires /actions, we kill the snake. However, the eggs are hatched, and grow into the same evil we renounced, so that we are back in our evil ways. Despite reflecting the sunlight for centuries, the Moon is still full of negativity. Yet we love the Moon more than the Sun. What matters is smiling & sharing the joy of Life among all those lovely people we meet along our journey through Life.
 

BL
Blessings Jan 13, 2014

 Amen to smiling and sharing joy, Denis.  

DD
Jan 12, 2014
 To me, attachment means holding on in a way that I am gripping it and locked onto or into it.  This attachment can be to a person, a group, a thing, a viewpoint, a way of behaving.  I agree with the author that my perception of reality is through the filter of habitual thinking which can distort what is being perceived and can become like "an old phonograph record that keeps skipping at the same spot."  He is mistaken in saying that we react with anger in some situations and we can't help it.  If our reactions really are uncontrollable and we really can't help it, it doesn't present "an opportunity to change" and we wouldn't be able to change.  Though attachment can be intense, detachment and change are possible.  What has helped me become more aware of some of my attachments is learning about attachment, reflecting on my ways, and discovering at least some of my attachments.  An example from personal experience is that I was very attached to m... View full comment
AJ
aj Jan 12, 2014

 I very much agree and can relate to your words, David.  Thank you for your sharing!

IH
In Him Jan 12, 2014

 I am a self professed "people pleaser".  I like everyone to feel loved, welcome, forgiven and free to be the people God created them to be.  Throughout my life, I find myself more 'attached' to people, faiths and beliefs that show kindness and respect to ALL God's people.  
Too, I have some issues r/t attention deficit. In this, God has taught me to 'attach' myself to Him (Jesus and Holy Spirit).  Distracted by so many details . . . must dos . . . to belong/to be called worthy/to be enough . . . I was sinking (and fast).  Just like Peter, in walking on the water, Jesus asked me to SIMPLY attach myself/attention/gaze/spirit to Him/His.  
Attachments simplified, I am no longer drowning (most days, that is).
Related to my need to people please, God says, "PLEASE ME".  In trying my best to do this, in/with the truth He Instills in me, I can best love, welcome, forgive and celebrate people!  Why?  . . . Because it pleases Him.

DK
Jan 12, 2014

 
 Focusing on an enjoyable project can help you to access the Theta brainwave state, which is a level where you are most likely to receive creative inspirations and spiritual breakthroughs.

CP
Jan 10, 2014

 For me, attachment is a desire for some thing or event that is presently not happening as I think it should. By noticing and consciously limiting my desires I reduce attachments that are limiting to me.. I frequently find myself getting angry when other drivers on the road don't drive exactly as I think they should. My first reaction is anger and then I notice  what is occurring is simply what is that I am not accepting. If I consciously notice more of reality as it is, I will reduce desires and attachments and accept more of what is. Thank you for the opportunity to respond. Warm and kind regards to everyone..

RA
Raghuraman Jan 15, 2014

 It is true Attachment is more of suffering for me. It is like obsession and possessiveness. Best way to come out of this is during meditation those objects you attached will come during that time watch them and don't feed them, just witness them soon it passes away over a period of time it weakens and subsides. It is easy to say but needs more patience to come out that. To me only by deep meditation and observing and patience this can be taken out.
Thanks
Raghu