Make Death Your Ally

Lovely sentiments, but I'm not sure my life could have been too different, at least my earlier years.  From the time I was a toddler I was very controlled by my parents and those around me.  I still am to a great degree, but there is a part of me that I never did relinquish, and never will.  Odd that they were as they were to me, and this very place in me is so very different from anyone around me, even a partner in a not great relationship, but it's a partnership.

So no matter where you are, no matter how little your control, no matter what others think of you or how difficult your life, there is that piece of us, our soul, our spirit, whatever we choose to call it, it's that piece of us that is ours and ours alone, and no one can take it away from you.  Let it hug you and love you.  Sometimes it's all we got and it's a solitary place, but make it a feel good place, a nest in which to rest and decorate in virutal furs and jewels.

Namaste.

I never witnessed death closely as such but an incident helped me change my attitude towards life. I have always known that deep down I am a relation person who is more into having quality life rather running for the materialist pleasures. Somewhere I messed up with my relations with my mother, my father, my brothers and my friends too as negativity in one aspects affects everything else... and I know what the reason behind that was. Being in relations truly and living life the way it comes requires lot of emotional maturity and acceptance within to handle what comes ones way. I was not emotionally sorted out and I never accepted and loved myself. So I tried running away from my relations, not out of fear of how they would react to my realities but, because I was scared of handling the pulls and pushes that will come my way while relating with them, by letting me theirs completely, by belonging to them, by letting me be affected by them. I was too weak and dread being vulnerable to emotions. So I created distance between me and ones I loved. I thought the distance will help be escape but it did not for I found myself living a false and very unhealthy life.

And then one day while surfing on one of the social sites, I saw a pop up to wish a friend whose b'day I had forgotten. I did send him a very banal happy birthday message and completely forgot about it. Next day, I saw a message from one of his friend I had never known saying that my friend had died in a road accident months ago. I was numbed... such a beautiful looking, nice, young, good hearted guy he was! And I started regretting all the missed opportunities I could have used to connect with him while he was alive... That was the day I decided I will not let it happen with me ever. I will connect to people as if this is the last moment I have got to touch them. And I am on my mending ways... the process is slow, I am reaching out to people... letting them know who I am, my feelings and helping them express themselves... I am still trying to make sense of life, various feelings, attachments, detachments, and death, loss that we experience... I am still discovering myself... but this time I am not desperate, I am not down and lonely... I am letting life affect me and I am living it to the fullest

Love

Gulrez

As I continue to age, I notice a shift in consciousness.  When young, my mom helped instill in me a fear of everything.  I did not have this fear earlier, but can remember this nagging tug at how awful life really is from about age 5 on under her tutelage...I am now aware she received this indoctrination early in her life too.  The difference now is that she is still fearful, and my fear has changed to something else.  My fear has turned to a sense of deep inner peace as I connect to the quiet realization that there is so much more than this experience, and that this moment is to be experienced with every sense, even those beyond the scientifically accepted five senses.  This is not to say that I don't feel fear, but now I internally welcome the lesson that rises up from the awareness of that fear, and welcome the next breath, becoming fully present once more. I sat with my dear laborador when he took his last breath about three years ago in the side yard.  I was brought immediately to the moment, to the beautiful serenity after his spirit flew, leaving behind the struggles and pain he had recently been dealing with.  It was my extreme honor to care after his earthsuit left behind, being fully content and at peace.  I miss his earthsuit more than I can ever express, but am fully at peace knowing the spirit that experienced life here with me has arrived in another earthsuit of some sort, to experience the finite once again.  I now look at wildlife and nature around my home in a whole new way, and also have looked into the eyes of the children I work with and connected with the spirit I share with them.  It helps me slow down.  It reminds me of the fact that Love is the only thing...if it is indeed a thing...only Love. 

Life/Death are two side of one coin I am grateful that after two heart surgeries and mejor heart attack I am ready to climb mountins .my mother used to tell us when I was young child in small village in inda due to maleria and no medical service in village everyone thought I was dead and were preparing to cremate accept mother she did not release my body to them she held me close to her heart and hour latter I open my eyes. in 2005 while climbing mountain I suffered mejor heart attack , some lady doctor was behind us and she recognise situation and gave me treatment beside other exp.I worked 37 years with elderly in nursing home where Death and dying is every day event     ---------- without faith and human compassion its impossible to suffering of life and death most of time when person departs this body after old age and sickness we call it blessing that person is not suffering and he or she is resting now

 its our attachment to this body and material world we forget death is with us and will greet us any moment we are numb or Ignorent to starving children anywhere in the world that is living Death? Mahatma Gandhi once said if we eat more than we need or keep more than we need, some where in the world someone isnot eating enough or starving of their needs isnt that also death of the  human conscience ----- one must focus living Rightously. Then just like mystery of Love and Life and Death understanding comes from within. Our scripture explains very clearly Shri Krishna explains in Geeta  Death is like  changing bodies  like we discard old clothes and wear new clothes. Our attachment to this ever transient world triggers all feelings and emotions Life and  Death.  These worldly attachments are ignorance, and if our conscience evolves  beyond our  ignorance of the  truth, spiritual knowledge, and wisdom then there is no such thing as Death. Nishkam Prem is living life with selfless love for  all creation. This will bring us eternal Life where  there is no Death and no Doubts or Question its beyond words.

  With love alwyas,

navin

Thanks much for the opportunity to respond.

After reading, Being No One, Going Nowhere, (maybe it was Pema Chodron's, I forget.) I have become more aware of how I want to be noticed and given attention, while at the same time, not wanting not to be noticed and not given attention. Being peaceful in the present moment helps me notice that as I live, so will I die. Being peaceful now, helps one die peacefully. I find joy in paradoxical events. Being born and dieing each second is a way that I find worthwhile. I also find, not knowing worthwhile. Paradoxically, I like to hear from people who know what they are talking about. I find I often do not know what I am talking about. I now believe kindness is everything and the only time one can be kind is now. Life and death are my allies. Life and death are one. If I were aware more often, I would be kinder.

Warm and kind regards to everyone.

 Conrad