Feel Free To Set A Better Example

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Hand-drawn art by Rupali Bhuva
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Siéntete libre de dar un mejor ejemplo
--por Ryan Holiday

En el núcleo de la teoría legal está la idea de que existen esencialmente dos formas de libertad: positiva y negativa. La libertad positiva es la libertad de hacer algo, como la libertad de expresión o la libertad de culto.

La libertad negativa es la libertad de algo, que es un poco más complicado. Por ejemplo, en los Estados Unidos, la Tercera Enmienda a la Constitución estipula que el gobierno no puede alojar a la tropa en el hogar de ningún individuo privado. La Cuarta Enmienda protege a los ciudadanos de búsquedas y confiscaciones injustificadas. Como señaló FDR (Franklin D. Rooselvert), el derecho a tener las necesidades básicas cubiertas y a vivir en paz son tan importantes como la libertad de expresión y de culto.

La parte complicada de todo esto, por supuesto, es donde la libertad de alguien para hacer algo se cruza con el deseo de otr@ de liberarse de ello.

Puedes decir lo que piensas ... pero eso puede ofender o lastimar a alguien. Deberías poder hacer lo que quieras en tu propia propiedad ... pero caminar por la música a todo volumen hace que a tus vecinos les resulte difícil hacer lo mismo. Deberías poder tomar tus propias decisiones médicas para tu familia ... pero la decisión de no vacunarte afecta a todas las personas que entran en contacto contigo.

Los detalles específicos de estos temas son el ámbito propio de los políticos y los abogados, pero Epicteto nos deja una pregunta difícil y atemporal: ¿Qué depende de nosotros y qué no depende de nosotros?

En un mundo de copos de nieve y pornografía escandalosa, es fácil desviarse de la pista y concentrarse en evitar que otras personas digan cosas hirientes u ofensivas en lugar de medir lo que decimos y gestionar cómo respondemos. Queremos meternos en la vida de otras personas, cuando realmente, al final del día, todo lo que controlamos es la nuestra.
Lo cual es ridículo porque hay mucho en lo que centrarnos en nuestras propias vidas. ¿Qué clase de persona vamos a ser? ¿Qué vamos a hacer con nuestras libertades? ¿Están nuestras decisiones impactando negativamente a otras personas? ¿Somos realmente tan libres como nos gusta pensar que somos?

Y aquí está lo contradictorio de todo esto: Marco Aurelio habló una y otra vez sobre la mejor manera de influir e inspirar a otras personas. No era con la fuerza, sino con el ejemplo. Si quieres liberarte de la tiranía de las opiniones y el mal comportamiento de otras personas, siéntete libre de dar un mejor ejemplo.

Preguntas semilla para la reflexión: ¿Cómo te relacionas con la noción de asumir la responsabilidad personal de ser el cambio en lugar de criticar a los demás? ¿Puedes compartir una historia personal de una ocasión en la que volviste a centrarte en ti mism@ en lugar de censurar a otros por ser hirientes? ¿Qué te ayuda a mantenerte enraizad@ para dar un mejor ejemplo?

Extraído de The Daily Stoic. Ryan Holiday es un escritor, comerciante y empresario estadounidense.
Seed Questions for Reflection

How do you relate to the notion of taking personal responsibility for being the change as opposed to critiquing others? Can you share a personal story of a time you shifted the focus back to yourself instead of censuring others for being hurtful? What helps you stay rooted in setting a better example?

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12 Past Reflections
TB
Tanya Burgoyne
Mar 10, 2023
To the awakin.org owner, Your posts are always well-balanced and objective.
VL
Valencia Loya
Mar 9, 2023
To the awakin.org owner, Your posts are always well-written and easy to understand.
RG
Randi George
Feb 7, 2023
To the awakin.org administrator, Your posts are always informative and well-explained.
CS
Cortney Seaman
Feb 5, 2023
Hi awakin.org webmaster, Nice post!
AM
amy
Apr 30, 2019
The first amendment actually doesn't grant you the right to say anything you want. It just prevents the government from prosecuting you for it. It doesn't stop other people from realizing that you're ignorant and telling you that.
CA
Carol Ann Hedemark
Apr 24, 2019
There was a time when I only looked outside of myself to place blame on others for my challenges. I blamed my behaviors on my upbringing or past hurts. I justified, rationalized and lied to myself that however I lived was OK just as long as I wasn't hurting anyone but myself. After hitting a mental, physical and spiritual bottom in 2010, I became open and willing to begin the process of making changes in my life to recover from a very dark place. I woke up to the truth that the only thing I can change is myself, my attitudes, my beliefs and my behaviors. What I thought was the fault ofothers was my responsibility to change. My perception shifted and myactions began to change and my life got better.I am responsible for change. I am responsible for being in acceptance. I pray, I mediate, I try to do the next right actionand I practice being in the present moment where the truth lives. I by no means do this perfectly but I know that when I am in acceptance of life on life's terms,... View full comment
AM
Amy Apr 24, 2019
I am proud of you Carol! You sound like a very strong person! Keep sharing. It is good for you to know you are being “heard”. Yay you:)
AM
Apr 23, 2019
If I respond wrongly in any given situation, I punish myself. When God gave me (us) the 10 commandments, He didn’t do it to gift Himself ... but to actually gift me (us). In following His plan, I am free. When I am able to set my sin aside and do what He has commanded me to do, I am living Truth (in His love). When I set a bad example, (do not follow His commands), I am living falsely, (outside of Him) ... and this is a way I do NOT wish to take. I am not responsible for anyone else’s behavior but my own. It’s each one of us ... one on One with God.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” (Some wise person said something along this line.”
Enjoyed others comments ... FYI:)
JY
Apr 23, 2019
My story is a perfect example of Grace and Gratitude. Since my childhood i suffered from health challenges. I was fighter and kept bouncing back to live a normal life. During this process of fighting i lost my own power and started blaming and complaining about everything. My entire focus Went on what is not happening right in my life and ignoring all the good things in life , till i reached a tipping point. In year 2010 i experienced lifeand death situation , that was the turning point in my life. I realised during those moments how much blessed i was and how much i was missing the important things in life by just complaining. I learnt the magical power of Gratitude and Grace. I took responsibilty of my own life and started working towards it. I revived myself to new life by practicing Gratitude, Forgiveness and unconditional love. Today i am living an happy blessed abundant grateful life. And Whatever i learnt during the process today i pay forward by helping people To take responsi... View full comment
TY
Apr 23, 2019
I began to see my part in things as I worked the 12 steps of AA. This was about admitting my wrongs of the past, willingness to make amends and continuing to take a moral and personal inventory throughout the rest of my life! It was a game changer for me! I think the Serenity Prayer has been very beneficial in this process as well. Today, I practice keeping my side of the street clean, staying in my own lane and praying for the wisdom to know what is mine to do and what is not! Peace and Joy! Tyler D
DD
Apr 21, 2019
I very much support the notion of taking personal responsibility for being the change as opposed to critiquing others. Critiquing others, especially unasked for critiquing, doesn't help. Be the change you want to see in the world is Gandhi's message. It makes sense to me. So does the Golden Rule. Both seem to be very basic wisdom to live. I often live by the Golden Rule, being considerate, compassionate, and taking responsibility for my behavior, and usually don't censure those who aren't (except in my head, which is its own problem). What helps me stay rooted in setting a good example is knowing that I can only change me, knowing that how I am affects others, and knowing that my right action is its own reward no matter what happens.
JP
Apr 20, 2019
I take my personal responsibility for making my choices that are healthy, wise, constructive and helpful only to me but to others.It's up to me to choose what to eat or not. I may eat junk food and fill my body-mind-and heart with junk and unhealthy and toxic stuff, desires, thoughts and emotions prompting and compelling me not only me but others around me. Daily living offers me several opportunities to train my mind not to react ignorantly but wisely.Yesterday I was in a grocery store to buy fresh vegetables. The space was not wide enough for three carts to go through.Right in front of my cart, there were two ladies talking amicably with their carts parked blocking my way. I remained mindful of my thoughts and feelings arising in me. So in stead of pushing their carts angrily I took time out to put them aside so that I can move on. My intention was not to teach them a lesson or expect a "thank you expression"from them. They did it on their own. This is not a big event b... View full comment