What Exactly Is Love?

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Hand-drawn art by Rupali Bhuva
Image of the Week
¿Qué es exactamente el amor?
--por J. Krishnamurti


El miedo no es amor, la dependencia no es amor, los celos no son amor, la posesividad y la dominación no son amor, la responsabilidad y el deber no son amor, la autocompasión no es amor, la agonía de no ser amado no es amor, el amor no es lo contrario del odio ni la humildad es lo contrario de la vanidad. Si puedes eliminar todo esto, no forzándolo, sino lavándolo como la lluvia lava el polvo de muchos días de una hoja, entonces quizás encuentres esta extraña flor que el hombre siempre ansía.
Si no tenéis amor, no sólo en pequeñas gotas sino en abundancia, si no estáis llenos de él, el mundo irá al desastre. Sabéis intelectualmente que la unidad de la humanidad es esencial y que el amor es el único camino, pero ¿quién os va a enseñar a amar? Cuando ejercitas la disciplina y la voluntad de amar, el amor se va por la ventana. Al practicar algún método o sistema de amar, puedes volverte extraordinariamente inteligente o más bondadoso o entrar en un estado de no violencia, pero eso no tiene nada que ver con el amor.


En este mundo desierto y desgarrado no hay amor porque el placer y el deseo juegan los papeles más importantes, pero sin amor tu vida diaria no tiene sentido. Y no puedes tener amor si no hay belleza. Solo hay belleza cuando tu corazón y tu mente saben lo que es el amor. Sin amor en ese sentido de la belleza no hay virtud, y tú sabes muy bien que, aunque hagas lo que hagas para mejorar la sociedad, alimentar a los pobres, sólo estarás creando más jugarretas, pues sin amor sólo hay fealdad y pobreza en tu vida, en tu propio corazón y en tu mente. Pero cuando hay amor y belleza, todo lo que haces está bien, todo lo que haces está en orden. Si sabes cómo amar, entonces puedes hacer lo que amas, entonces puedes hacer lo que te gusta porque resolverá todos los demás problemas.


Así que llegamos al punto: ¿puede la mente encontrar el amor sin disciplina, sin pensamiento, sin imposición, sin ningún libro, maestro o líder, encontrarlo como uno se encuentra con una hermosa puesta de sol? Me parece que una cosa es absolutamente necesaria y es la pasión sin motivo, la pasión que no es el resultado de algún compromiso o apego, la pasión que no es lujuria. Un hombre que no sabe lo que es la pasión nunca conocerá el amor porque el amor sólo puede surgir cuando hay un abandono total de sí mismo.

Una mente que busca no es una mente apasionada y encontrar el amor sin buscarlo es la única forma de encontrarlo: encontrarlo a sabiendas y no como resultado de ningún esfuerzo o experiencia. Encontrarás que tal amor no es del tiempo; tal amor es a la vez personal e impersonal, es tanto uno como muchos. Como una flor que tiene perfume puedes olerla o pasar de largo. Esa flor es para tod@s y para quien se toma la molestia de respirarla hondo y mirarla con deleite. Ya sea que un@ esté muy cerca en el jardín o muy lejos, a la flor le da lo mismo porque está llena de ese perfume y por lo tanto lo está compartiendo con tod@s.


El amor es algo nuevo, fresco, vivo. No tiene ayer ni mañana. Está más allá de la confusión del pensamiento. Es sólo la mente inocente la que sabe lo que es el amor, y la mente inocente puede vivir en un mundo que no es inocente. Encontrar esta cosa extraordinaria que el hombre ha buscado sin cesar a través del sacrificio, del culto, de la relación [...], a través de todas las formas de placer y dolor, sólo es posible cuando el pensamiento llega a comprenderse a sí mismo y llega naturalmente a su fin. Entonces el amor no tiene opuesto. Entonces el amor no tiene conflicto. Si no sabes qué hacer, no haces nada. Absolutamente nada. Entonces interiormente estás completamente en silencio. ¿Entiendes lo que eso significa? Significa que no estás buscando, no deseando, no persiguiendo; no hay ningún centro en absoluto. En ese momento está el amor.


Preguntas semilla para la reflexión: ¿Cómo te relacionas con la noción de que encontrar el amor solo es posible cuando el pensamiento llega a comprenderse a sí mismo y llega naturalmente a su fin? ¿Puedes compartir una historia personal de un momento en que no estabas buscando, queriendo o persiguiendo, y experimentaste el amor? ¿Qué te ayuda a ir más allá de la confusión del pensamiento y arraigarte en el amor?
Seed Questions for Reflection

How do you relate to the notion that finding love is only possible when thought comes to understand itself and comes naturally to an end? Can you share a personal story of a time you were not seeking, wanting or pursuing, and experienced love? What helps you go beyond the turmoil of thought and root in love?

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14 Past Reflections
SO
Sofronios
May 1, 2025
How a normal human being without going deeply into such profound understanding
Of such “thoughts “ realise the essence of love ?
How we can absorbed them more importantly Comprehend and implement such understanding and become Our core of life In our everyday life .
How such thoughts can become our inner citadel as Pierr Haddot Defines it to be our tool for our everyday life
How as normal human beings we can integrated them and be useful to our own. Individual rhythm of life as Krisnamurti implies without any effort and any control
Can “enchiridion “type of a manual as Epictetus describes it can be the tool of reaching eudemonia?synonymous of love
Can AI help humans find the path to love?
Or may be epicurean theory of living a happy life is the key of living a meaningful life?
VJ
Vathsala Jayasimha
Jul 1, 2023
Yes love in the context described at a different level felt by humans , at the level of being unselfish , empathetic trying to feel for others without a motive. It comes with a human passion not for any other ulterior motive or benefits.
Yes it is very very rare to be found in the present scenario of the materialistic and selfish egoistic world surviving on competition and cut throat business.
EC
Esteban Cano
Jan 29, 2023
I wanna read more books of him
BC
Black Crow Walking
Jan 17, 2023
We are all love inside the body vehicle
JO
Jan 10, 2023
God Is Love and Love is God.💗
AN
Annabelle
Jan 10, 2023
Feels like love is just living. Without adding anything. Pure joy of life. Life of joy. No sugar added. Nothing withdrawn either.
HG
Harshvardhan Gupta
Jan 10, 2023
Is love what remains after the ego has turned and melted?

Is love what remains when physical forms become completely irrelevant?

Is love what remains once everything is let go and emergence is allowed to take over?
TA
Tami
Jan 10, 2023
When my son was born, thought completely stopped (temporarily) and I was bathed in the consciousness of pure love. I felt whole in a way I never have before - when I hug him or am close to him nowadays, I can access some levels of this. But as he grows - I am aware that I do not want to seek this feeling to meet my own needs. But it is always undeniably there. Letting go of other aspects of my mind are still a work in progress but I have found this reading to be the most beautiful treatise on love that I have come across. Thank you for offering it to me. Namaste
DD
David Doane Jan 10, 2023
I love your comments -- "bathed in the consciousness of pure love" -- and you felt whole like never before, and can still access that. Beautiful. I can relate -- holding and hugging a baby I felt in (as in within) Love -- nothing like it in this human life, and some of it stays forever. Thanks for sharing.
BA
Jan 8, 2023
Question and answer seen as “what is’ when glimpse occurs even once, one can describe what love is, an unconditional expression of energy give it any name. It is direct perceiving where there is no time base entity like “I-center” interpret through contextual knowledge.
DD
Jan 8, 2023
My understanding is that love is way beyond thinking. It isn't necessary to learn to love or will to love. Love is natural. If you want to be a full human being, it is necessary to allow, accept, open to and live from the love that you already are. As far as I'm aware, my seeking, wanting or pursuing love get in the way of my experiencing love. Even when I have sought, wanted or pursued love, love has happened and surprised me aside from and in spite of my efforts. The most I do is let myself be available to love. Krisnamurti says love requires self-abandonment, which to me means love requires me putting down my defenses, being open, honest and vulnerable. What helps me love is complying with that requirement, that is, self-abandonment. What also helps is knowing how wonderful love is. One love experience results in wanting more.
TE
Jan 8, 2023
Beautiful passage, as is the longer article including it! The author speaks very eloquently of True Love beyond the many uses of that word in the English language. I might suggest the word "Awakening" for what he describes, and see that as the only true end to suffering in this reality.
JP
Jan 7, 2023
Where there is no fear, no doubt, no hesitation, no conditions there is love. Such love unites us and creates unbroken and undivided oneness. As I understand from my own experience such love creates unity and oneness within and without, personal and interpersonal. My mother used to tell me, "You cannot love others if you not love yourself." She was a living example of such deep, pure, truthful and blissful love. My mother planted the seeds of such pure love and the seeds and they grew into a fragrant and flowering plant. I have been blessed to be with people who has opened their arms to welome me with deep affection and love. Mind can be our friend and mind can be our foe. When I use my mind to understand what causes disunity and what causes unity, my mind is my friend. I also have come to understand the power of heart, the power of kindness, compassion and love. We need three H's to live fully: Head, Heart and Hands. We need to cultivate intellect, love, and skillful hands to liv... View full comment
PK
Dec 9, 2019
When I read this poem, it brought me warm memories of reading it the first time several years ago and having a meaningful discussion about consciousness and nature. When I felt that oneness, a generous wholeness where there are no distinctions, no separation and no names, I felt just happy — not happy about something or because I got something. I was just happy — was filled with unending joy and there was no center or identity to connect with that happiness. I felt as if I have no beginning or ending. No past or future. I was rock, chair, flower, tree, bird and the person whom I used to really dislike. Everything and everybody is me and I am everybody. I stayed in that state for about 6 hours and the fragrance of that experience remained with me for a month. When I am with people like Viral, Jayesh Bhai and Harshada didi, I feel that vastness of experience. This is a photo of Malleswaram (Bangalore) flower market. What I saw was an abundance of joy in the form of flow... View full comment