One Has No Self To Love

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Image of the Week
Un@ no tiene un yo al que amar
--por Alan Watts
El amor que se expresa en la acción creativa es algo mucho más que una emoción. No es algo que puedas "sentir" y "saber", recordar y definir. El amor es el principio organizador y unificador que hace del mundo un universo y de la masa desintegrada una comunidad. Es la esencia misma y el carácter de la mente, y se manifiesta en la acción cuando la mente es una. Pues la mente debe estar interesada o absorbida por algo, así como un espejo siempre debe estar reflejando algo. Cuando no está tratando de interesarse en sí misma -como si un espejo se reflejara a si mismo- debe estar interesada, o absorta, en otras personas y cosas. No hay problema en cómo amar. Amamos. Somos amor, y el único problema es la dirección del amor, ya sea para salir directamente como la luz del sol, o para tratar de volver sobre sí mismo como una "vela bajo una fanega".
Donde hay acción creativa, no tiene sentido discutir lo que debemos o no hacer para ser correct@s o buen@s. Una mente que es única y sincera no está interesada en ser buena, en tener relaciones con otras personas para cumplir solo una regla. Tampoco está interesada en ser libre, por otro lado, ni en actuar perversamente sólo para probar su independencia. Su interés no está en sí misma, sino en las personas y problemas de los que es consciente; estos son " en ella misma". Actúa no según las reglas, sino según las circunstancias del momento, y el "bien" que desea a los demás no es seguridad sino libertad.

Nada es realmente más inhumano que las relaciones humanas basadas en la moral. Cuando un hombre da pan para ser caritativo, vive con una mujer para ser fiel, come con alguien de otra raza para no tener prejuicios y se niega a matar para ser pacífico, es tan frío como una almeja. En realidad no ve a la otra persona. Sólo un poco menos fría es la benevolencia que brota de la compasión, que actúa para quitar el sufrimiento porque lo encuentra desagradable a la vista.

Pero no hay fórmula para generar el calor auténtico del amor. No se puede copiar. No se puede planificar o despertarlo forzando las emociones o dedicándose solemnemente al servicio de la humanidad. Todo el mundo tiene amor, pero sólo puede salir cuando (las personas) están convencidas de la imposibilidad y la frustración de tratar de amarse (a sí mism@s). Esta convicción no vendrá a través de condenas, a través de odiarse a sí mismo, a través de nombrar al amor propio con todos los malos nombres que existen. Viene sólo en la conciencia de que un@ no tiene ningún yo al que amar.

Semillas para la reflexión: ¿Cómo te relacionas con la noción de que "nada es realmente más inhumano que las relaciones humanas basadas en la moral?" ¿Puedes compartir una historia personal de una vez que sentiste amor auténtico? ¿Cómo conciliar la idea de que un@ no tiene auto-amor con otras enseñanzas de sabiduría que te piden que practiques el amor a tí mismo?
De "Wisdom of Insecurity" de Alan Watts.
Seed Questions for Reflection

How do you relate to the notion that "nothing is really more inhuman than human relations based on morals?" Can you share a personal story of a time you felt authentic love? How do you reconcile the notion that one has no self to love with other wisdom teachings that ask you to practice loving yourself?

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13 Past Reflections
AL
Alex
May 14, 2024
This makes a lot of sense to me and I’ve experienced this before but then does that mean one has to somehow always be completely absorbed in and paying attention to something at all times other wise they start to become neurotic? Is that even possible? It’s impossible for me not to think about myself when I am in pain. It’s a sneaky paradox that to think of yourself at all to some degree only increases your disconnection.
GR
Greg
Mar 19, 2022
When you remove your ego from your eternal being, you are left with a pure heart, mind and soul. With a pure heart do this:

1) Love the Lord "YOUR" God with all "YOUR" mind, soul, and strength 2) LOVE "YOUR" neighbor as "YOUR" self.

The second part of the command answers the first part, on who God is and where HE is.


We are hardwired for doing this. The difference is if our heart is pure or not. Remove the ego and follow the flow.


KE
kelly
Feb 4, 2022
This is not easy to assimilate but I took it to mean real love is selfless. Like a flame to a fire it's part of an enormous whole. Self love would also be egotistical.. And love does not spring from ego. Wow. Thank you Alan..
KP
Oct 11, 2017

 This is a really deep one. To me the idea of love based on morals being inhuman means that love should be unconditional, to allow it to simply be because love is love. This also extends to no self to love: I think the idea is if we are all one, then there is no other or self, just one to love. And that one includes self/other together. So in practice of loving oneself we are loving all. This is what spoke to me. 

MJ
Oct 11, 2017

  Nonetheless it's still a great article for introspection and growth of awareness. Thank you Alan!

JY
Oct 10, 2017

 Wow! Radical. Reminded me of Brother Pancho and his capacity to  just be love - unconditionally. 

WO
Oct 10, 2017

 Love is our mental volition at any time t.
This is true but the concepts used to deduce the point may confuse many a reader. Nonetheless it's still a great article for introspection and growth of awareness. Thank you Alan!

RA
Rajat
Oct 10, 2017

 "refuses to kill in order to be peaceful, he is as cold as a clam. He does not actually see the other person. Only a little less chilly is the benevolence springing from pity, which acts to remove suffering because it finds the sight of it disgusting."
I can't assimilate the statement of Alan Watt, particularly the Bold one. Look forward to see any clarification on this phrase.

SA
sandeep
Oct 10, 2017

 A very splendid question for reflection. wanted to engage with it.. . i would like to believe that what is being said here is there is no self,  just love. i have tried hard to build empathy, arouse deep emotions, via guilt or self loathing as well. also using formulas like telling how fortunate i have been and look at how i am better off than majority which is hungry, socially discriminated etc etc. none of these formulas work What sometimes seems to be working is  i have tried to tell myself to wite gratitude diary. this way i have felt more fuller, and less critical of whats happening around. i dont know if its a formula for self love or just love......

JP
Oct 7, 2017
 Love is unselfish and unconditional. Such pure love has no outwardly defined boundaries and prescriptions. Love is not a calculating transaction. Love grows from within like a plant and offers  flowers, fragrance and fruits joyfully. Such offerings fill the cup of life with joy, fulfillment and happiness. "Nothing is more inhuman than human relations based on morals." This statement by Alan Watts made me think deeply. Morals are prescriptions or commandments or rules to follow for social order and social cohesiveness. As a human being I am born not  as a conditioned self.It is a self not defined by out side agencies. It is pure and free. As that self grows, it is shaped by what is right and what is wrong, the morals of a society. Love, relate and accept those who are on our side. Hate, disconnect and reject those who are on the other side. The life holding, the life sustaining, and the life blossoming consciousness is diminished by the societal morals. Our essenti... View full comment
DD
Oct 7, 2017
Alan Watts can be deep.  "Nothing is really more inhuman than human relations based on morals" means to me that nothing is more inhuman than human relations based on rules.  A good deed coming from rule or obligation or agenda is manipulative.  It's using the other as a thing.  It's selfish.  Ironically, it may do some good and be appreciated, which is even worse.  Speaking personally, I have many times felt authentic love, that is, times when someone has done something for me out of love for me.  I've been fortunate.  My understanding is that there is my ego self and there is my real or essential self.  So, I have no ego self to love because my ego self isn't really concerned with love -- it's concerned with my own selfish manipulative agendas.  However, loving from my essential self is agendaless and pure, and it is from essential self that authentic human love comes.  Wisdom teachings ask you to practice loving your essential s... View full comment
ED
Ed Oct 10, 2017

 Wow!    That ripped my mind apart and put light on my darkness.    Thank you profoundly.    

ME
me Oct 12, 2017

 I hear you!