Everyone suffers, there is no getting around this fact. However what we do with our suffering is a different matter. There are different kinds of suffering, and there are different ways we can deal with our suffering. There is real suffering, like physical pain, or loss of a loved one. And then there is imaginary suffering, based on negative imagination; worry about what others may think of us, feelings of disappointment or resentment, when events don't turn out the way we expected them to turn out, feelings of being misunderstood, feelings of self pity etc.. The difference between real and imaginary suffering is often difficult to see. Real suffering is unavoidable, imaginary suffering is a result of our own negative trains of thought, and is entirely avoidable.
When we suffer, a chain of automatic internal response begins. The negativity of suffering multiplies by something like a factor of 100. Some one insults us, first we are hurt, then offended, then resentful, then angry, we turn the subject over and over, think up ways we should have responded, plot revenge and so forth, all according to our programming, and we only forget the insult very slowly. From one point of view, it is exciting to feel negative, it even gives us the illusion that we are "real", for anyone who is suffering to the extent we feel we are suffering,"must be real".
When something good happens to us, a chain of automatic response also begins. However, as odd as it might seem,the positive emotion only multiplies by a factor of something like 10. Someone compliments us, we feel a spark of happiness,a momentary thrill, we may think about it a couple of times, feel a few good feelings related to our memory of the event, then we forget about it fairly rapidly.
It takes psychic energy to sustain moments of higher consciousness. Negative emotions burn up psychic energy, which is why we feel exhausted afterwards. When we have a positive emotion it actually creates psychic energy, which is why we feel invigorated after a good laugh.
If awakening is your aim, that is, if one is actively committed to the process of spiritual development, one comes to the problem of where to get enough psychic energy, to elevate one's higher self, high enough to enter, and sustain a higher state of consciousness. This is where suffering can be of great value, because the negative emotions produced by suffering can be transformed into positive emotions. When this happens the 100 factor multiplies by the 10 factor, positive emotions produced as a result of transforming negative emotions multiply by a factor of 1000. Christ's simple statement, "Forgive them, they know not what they do". Has multiplied itself far beyond the 1000 times factor, it has powerfully touched people the world over,changing the way generations of men conduct themselves toward one another, a most beautiful example of this principle in action.
How can we transform suffering? Very simply, by accepting it, by rising above it without expressing it. To do this one must find a place above suffering and from that higher space, simply watch all of the automatic negative feelings that arise as a result, without attaching a sense of identity to them. We are not those negative emotions, they are just passing phenomenon, temporary, transitory in nature. Transforming suffering is not to be confused with suppressing suffering, pretending to ourselves that we are not suffering, is simply living a lie. Transformation occurs when we find a space "to be" above suffering, and observe it, without identifying with it, without blame without judgment.
When we successfully are able to transform suffering, something grows in us, something strengthens, virtue expands, we find ourselves blessed with increased tolerance, patience, increased ability to compassionately forgive. There is nothing which makes us more God-like than transforming suffering, for think...God, the source of all Being, must have transformed the travail associated with the act of turning the potential of pre-creation, into this, our manifest reality. I remember this when suffering seems more than "I can bare", and it is exactly at this point, where all that is weak in one says, "I can't take any more" that one CAN take more, and it is at this leading edge of transformation, that surmounted, leads to the greatest spiritual development. Rilke, a sensitive German poet of the 1800's said, "We are wasters of sorrows". Everyone suffers, there is no avoiding it, if we burn the energy we could gain by transforming it, by indulging in negative emotions, wallowing in self pity, resentment, anger, self doubt, and so forth, we waste our opportunities to add much, to our inner spiritual life.
Deep down inside, we all know that transforming suffering leads to states of grace, studying how to gain the strength to rise above, and how not to succumb to the lower states suffering evokes, is a worthy pursuit. One we master, slowly, over time, by degrees.
