Beggarly, Friendly, And Kingly Giving, by Stephen Levine

निर्धन, दोस्ताना, और आलीशान देना

स्टेफन लेविन

सबसे बड़ा उपहार देने का कार्य है. परंपरागत रूप से, देने के तीन प्रकार हैं| एक है निर्धन (भीख) देना. जहा पर हम जो देते है उसे असल में पकडे रखते है| यहाँ पर हम हमारे पास जो भी है उससे कम से कम देते है| और फिर सोचते है की हमें देना चाहिए था भी या नहीं|

देने का दूसरा प्रकार है जिसे "दोस्ताना" कहा जाता है| जिसमे हम हमसे जितना हो सके उतना देते है| फिर चाहे हमारे पास कुछ न बचा रहे जाये| हम सहज से ही सबसे अच्चा देने की कोशिश करते है| हम अपने आपको प्रदान की गयी हर चीज़ के सिर्फ अस्थायी रखवाले के रूप में देखते है| जिसमे देना कुछ नहीं होता है| वो सिर्फ एक विस्तार है जिसमे चीज़े बहती जाती है|

हम सबने अपने जीवन में इस प्रकार के देन का अनुभव किया है| किसी और को देना और खुद को देना | हम सब जानते है की कैसा अनुभव होता है जब हम कुछ देते वक्त एक पकड़ जमाते है| कुछ देते समय हम सोचते है "क्युकी मेने कुछ किया है तो क्या मुझे प्रेम मिलेगा?" हम अपने आप को एक दाता की तरह देखते है| हमने तब भी कुछ दिया है जब हमें ये जरुरत महसूस हुई की चीजों को दुसरो के हाथो में पहोचानी चाहिए, बस एक प्रवाह की तरह चीजों को बहना चाहिए| ये उस तरह का देना है जो चिकित्सको के पास से आता है| वो उसे पकड़ के नहीं रखते | जीवनकी उर्जा उनमे से बहती रहती है| असल में कोई इलाज कर नहीं रहा होता बस इलाज अपने आप होता जाता है| उसे कहते है आलीशान तरह से देना|

आम तोर पर जेसे हम अपने आपमे विकसित होते है हम अपने आपको प्रमाणिकता से खुले हाथ से देता हुआ पाते है| वो अच्छा लगता है| वो हमें ऐसी दोस्ती और प्यार देता है जो हमें और विकसित करता है|
सहीमे, देने की कला अपने आपमे एक पूरा अभ्यास है| कई बार ध्यान देते समय हम निर्धन बन जाते है और अपने आपको दूर नहीं ले जा सकते | हम चीजों को पकड़ के रखते है| अपने मन की कुछ स्थितिओ को रोक के रखते है| एक हाथसे अपने आप को देने की कोशिश करते है लेकिन दुसरे हाथसे पकडे रखते है| हम हर वक्त ये देखते रहते है की हम क्या कर रहे है, मापते है की हम अभी कौन है और मूल्यांकन करते रहते है| लेकिन जेसे ही हम जागृत होते है हम अपने आपको और दूर करते जाते है|

और जैसे जैसे हम खुदको खुदसे अधिक देते है हम स्वाभाविक रूप से खुदको दुसरो के लिए अधिक देना शुरू कर देते है| हम लोगो के साथ एसे जुड़ते है की जिससे लोग खुदसे आसानी से जुड़ सके| हम वो नहीं बनते जो किसी को किसी भी अन्य तरीके से कार्य करने के लिए प्रोत्साहित करता है| हम एक खुली जहग है, हम कुछ पकड़ के नहीं रखते, सब कुछ देते जाते है.

स्टेफन लेविन - ग्रेजुअल अवेकनिंग से
-------------------------------

आत्म-निरिक्षण के लिए प्रश्न
आप अपने आपको देने के इस तिन प्रकार से केसे सम्बंधित करते है ? क्या आप अपने जीवनके किसी आलीशान देन का अनुभव बता सकते है? देना एक अभ्यास है - इसे आप कैसे समजते है?

Stephen Levine is a celebrated author. Excerpt above from his book, Gradual Awakening.

Seed Questions for Reflection

How do you relate to the three kinds of giving? Can you share an experience of kingly giving from your life? What do you understand by using giving as a practice in itself?

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20 Past Reflections

Diksha Pilania

Feb 21, 2024

Putting names to these different kinds of giving was really helpful. I have found myself doing the beggarly giving when it is going to someone who already has abundance or who isn't close to my heart. And i have found myself kingly giving, when i gave to the people really in need and yet not close to my heart. I found myself friendly giving to ones close to my heart. And now i am on this journey, to jut accept myself, give myself, replenish and then come out as a kingly giver irrespective of the closeness or abundance.

Paul Fillinger

Apr 12, 2023

How do I give? There are so many situations but this causes me to think about what I'm doing and how I'm doing it. It clarifies so much for me but there is something inside that argues about "kingly giving" in that we don't want to give ourselves away. I've thought we need to keep something of ourselves. Maybe I'm not understanding?

pandit nilesh

Mar 19, 2023

Liked it

themcastillo

Mar 15, 2023

I appreciated the distinctions of giving. I have taken care of my family during times of illness and in their passing. I am not sure if that is kingly giving but I know I have done it with love and totally present in each moment. Being totally present to someone in a time of need, holding to nothing, being an open space and giving all your energy/love/time/attention is a pure description to me.

thea nietfeld

Jun 30, 2020

When I first came to this town, I was received with open -heartedness that was new to me. More than anything, it was this culture of accepting care that attracted me back here. I have also experienced it with a spiritual companion. There is a mutuality in unreserved giving of attention that allows everyone to expand.

Kimberley

Oct 26, 2015

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mansiha Jan 4, 2016

But the things which is given here and its good to be here!

Ganoba

Jun 27, 2013

I used to feed birds by throwing grains on the ground. Behind this act was fear that the birds may hurt me. Then I decided to offer grains from an open palm. Gradually the birds started to sit on my hand to feed. Their touch and their trust banished even traces of fear and love took its place.

Ganoba

Jun 27, 2013

Giving and taking are actions. All actions connect people. In the absence of a human connection the action becomes exploitative and degrading. Giving becomes throwing and taking becomes snatching.
When there is a human touch the action is bound to raise the consciousness of the people involvved to a higher plane.

M.V..Rao

Jun 26, 2013

Thank you. SHRADDHA: I don’t know the correct word in English. However it means “intention to learn with mindful awareness”. Further to my reflection earlier, I wish to add the following: “Giving need not be material or is it about the cost; it can even be mentally a sincere thought. One can mentally pray for a person or send him blessings. As per scriptures, even these are acts of giving.” Thanks.

Jun 26, 2013

Great comment.The difference between Apatra and Gupta danam is very significant. Overprotective parents can do a lot of damage to their children when their giving is from attachment. This is commonly overlooked. I would like to know the meaning of Shraddha?

M.V.Rao

Jun 25, 2013

Giving is nice. Somebody in need coming asking for something is to be considered as a big favor done to us. But giving unasked will have no value. At the same time knowing other persons need and helping him in time unasked will give lot of satisfaction for both. This has been experienced by me. Anything we give, we need to give to a deserving person. Apatra danam is considered as a bad karma. Gupta danam : as per the scriptures Charity should not be revealed. Charity has no value if we give because of our attachment without examining whether one really needs it or not. Giving for a higher cause is always better. If we give food, that time’s hunger is taken care of. If we give medicine, that day’s sickness is taken care of. But if we give knowledge, that takes care of him forever. Lord Krishna also says in Gita that this knowledge is a supreme and to be given only to a person who has interest, shraddha and bhakthi. One of the important principles of the un... View full comment

Thierry

Jun 25, 2013

What need is there to categorise? Don't we know instantly when we give reluctantly and with some afterthought, and when we give in a limited way but with a clear intention? As for 'kingly' giving, has anyone given that kingly who did not first answer for himself the question: what would I give my life to? I feel this is the one important question that conditions all the rest if one can answer it whole-heartedly, without reserve. For all I know, those who have answered it do not think of theirs as a giving. They are happy to serve. Life is feeding them back their very generosity without any need for them to measure up their commitment to some sort of scale.

Ravindranath

Jun 25, 2013

My father used to say, "Any fool can give away what he does not want. If you give what you want, that is something but the sublime gift is that which you need." I don't know if this is kingly or not but it still makes sense to me.

Zellda

Jun 24, 2013

As a healer, I have learned through my experience to give from an overflow and not from an empty cup.

david doane

Jun 23, 2013

The three kinds of giving make sense to me. I've certainly done a good deal of the beggarly giving, that is, giving only the least of what I have. I've done a great deal of friendly giving, that is, sharing of what I have. I've done the least of kingly giving, that is, giving the best of what I have even if none remains for me. I think the kingly giving I've done has been giving of what I am experiencing such as my thoughts and feelings, which is valuable -- I have seldom given the best of what I have materially even if none remains for me. I've been rather selfish, sad to say. I have done a little more friendly and kingly giving in recent years, happy to say. What I do realize is that kingly giving doesn't really leave me depleted but leaves me with more than I had or more of something I didn't have or had very little of. Kingly giving is difficult for me -- it really is a matter of learning that I don't really own any... View full comment

Conrad P. Pritscher

Jun 23, 2013

Thank you for the opportunity to respond. Intellectually, I hold that giving is far superior to receiving. I also hold that when I give I simultaneously receive since, intellectually, I hold that I am one with everyone and everything. As a matter of practice, I do not often live this way and I'm not sure why. It would be an easy explanation if I said it was because of my habits,but it is more than that in a mysterious way. I formerly thought that when I give I will be rewarded in heaven. Now when I give, I notice that I experience a bit of heaven at the present moment (during the giving).. I work in his soup kitchen several hours a week and when I give food to the poor I experience that I get more out of it than those who receive the food do. Warm and kind regards to everyone.

thea nietfeld Jun 30, 2020

To experience heaven in the moment of giving is a blessing. In my experience, this happens when it is not expected or assumed, but allowed.

Manisha

Jun 23, 2013

This passage, particularly the end, offers a nice way to practice giving. I never realized that it can be cultivated through meditation. Giving more of ourselves to ourselves...what an inspiring and simple place to start! I will be more mindful of being kingly rather than being beggarly the next time that I sit. Thank you for sharing this reading. :)

Edit Lak

Jun 22, 2013

This was an interesting read particularly the last paragraphs of; “And as we gradually give more of ourselves to ourselves, we naturally give more of ourselves to others. There is a way we are with people, which makes it easy for them to be themselves. We're not being someone who encourages to act in any other way. We're an open space, holding to nothing, giving it all away.” I found this statement so interesting to read, because I never thought, consciously thought, that if I give to myself, that that giving will initially be a giving to others, Oh yes I know in the growing and awakening of the self that we may have talked about it, studied it, chanted on it, meditated on it, put intention out to do it. But to sit back and read that to look after me, can help someone else, in a giving of me to them.. Nice.. Maybe I have just grown with these words. As I ponder on this and the giving’s I had gave, I think many of us ‘age give’, in our early ch... View full comment