How Much Silence Is Too Much?, by Gal Beckerman

कितना मौन बहुत अधिक है?
- गैल बेकरमैन के द्वारा

हमारा देश शोर शराबे वाला है। हम शुरू से ही विद्रोही,शोर मचाने वाले रहे हैं। हम, अजीब से शो और सर्कस और कैसीनो का आविष्कार करते हैं। बहुत जोर से बात करो। हमारे सार्वजनिक स्थान पर हम हॉर्न बजाते हैं और सीटी बजाते हैं। हम अपने आपको ऐसे सितारे मानते हैं जिन्हें बस एक मंच का इंतजार है। हम ऐसे लोग हैं, जैसा कि वॉल्ट व्हिटमैन ने गुनगुनाया, "गायन, खुले मुंह से," हमारे "मजबूत मधुर गीत।" हम खुले मुंह से भी चबाते हैं - हम व्यक्तिगत स्थान का बहुत सम्मान नहीं करते हैं, और ऐसा करने का ढोंग तक भी नहीं करते हैं। दुनिया के लिए हमारा नवीनतम, सबसे बड़ा उपहार आपकी जेब के लिए एक कंप्यूटर है जो दिन भर आपसे बात करता रहता है। और फिर दूसरा उपहार पिछले दो साल हैं जिनमें है : राजनीतिक और तकनीकी मंथन, अपराध और आक्रोश। शोर का अवतार।

और लोगों की तरह , मैं भी चेक आउट करने के बारे में कल्पना करता हूं। मैं अपने दिनों से पिंगिंग सूचनाओं को हटाना पसंद करूंगा, ताकि आने वाले प्रत्येक ट्वीट ( अधिसूचना, नोटिफिकेशन ) से मेरा दिमाग इधर-उधर भटके बिना अंतर्मन की यात्रा करे । लेकिन पूरी तरह से सम्बंध विच्छेद के दर्शन भी थोड़े विचित्र लगते हैं। यहां तक कि अगर हम अभी भी अपनी आंखें बंद कर सकते हैं और अपने कान ढक सकते हैं, परिदृश्य का विवरण बन सकते हैं,पर क्या ऐसा करना चाहिए ? क्या यह इस समय नैतिक रूप से स्वीकार्य है?
कितना मौन बहुत अधिक है?

ट्रेपिस्ट भिक्षु थॉमस मर्टन, जो 20वीं शताब्दी के सबसे प्रभावशाली कैथोलिक विचारकों में से एक थे, ने इस प्रश्न पर गहनता से विचार किया। जिस चीज ने उन्हें केंटुकी में गेथसेमनी के मठ के लिए आकर्षित किया, वह था ज़िंदगी भर शांति से चिंतन करने का अवसर ।उनकी सबसे बड़ी कल्पना , उन्होंने लिखा, “अपने आप को ऊपर उठाना , अपने आप को सौंप देना, अपने आप को पूरी तरह से जंगल और पहाड़ियों, या समुद्र, या रेगिस्तान के विस्तृत परिदृश्य की खामोशी को सौंप देना; तब तक चुपचाप बैठे रहना , जब तक सूर्य इस भूमि के ऊपर आता है और भूमि के मौन को प्रकाश से भर देता है।

जब एक लेखक के रूप में उनकी लोकप्रियता ने एकांत हासिल करना और कठिन बना दिया, तो वे और भी दूर सुदूर चले गए, मठ के मैदान की पहाड़ियों में एक टूलशेड में लंबे समय तक अकेले रहते थे। लेकिन दुनिया ने घुसपैठ की, विशेष रूप से 1950 और 60 के दशक में, जब शीत युद्ध तेज हो गया और अणु युद्ध का ख़तरा मंडरा रहा था। वह आश्चर्य करने लगे कि क्या उन्होंने अपने लिए जो जीवन बनाया था, जिसने उनकी अंतरात्मा को तो सँभाला, पर इससे दुनिया से उनका जो अलगाव हुआ वो उचित था ?

मेर्टन उस चीज़ में योगदान नहीं देना चाहते थे जिसे वे बार-बार समाज का "शोर" कहते थे, लेकिन वे यह भी जानते थे कि दुनिया की समस्याओं में अपनी खुद की हिस्सेदारी को नज़रअंदाज़ करना सही नहीं था। इसके बजाय उन्होंने जो चाहा वह एक " यथार्थ और गहरा सम्बंध " था, जिसे हासिल किया गया, उन्होंने जोर देकर कहा, केवल मौन में रहकर निरंतर रिचार्जिंग के माध्यम से। वही बात जिससे ऐसा लग सकता है कि हम बुरे नागरिक या असामाजिक तत्व हैं , उस समय विचारशीलता और दूसरों के साथ अधिक गहन सम्बंध के लिए अनिवार्य है। चूंकि हम में से अधिकांश एकांत के अंदर और बाहर उछल-कूद नहीं कर सकते हैं (ध्यान ऐप्स के बावजूद जो हमें ऐसा करने में मदद करने का वादा करते हैं), हमें इस विरोधाभास के साथ रहना होगा।

प्रतिबिंब के लिए बीज प्रश्न: एक “ यथार्थ और गहन सम्बंध ” का आपके लिए क्या अर्थ है? क्या आप उस समय की कोई व्यक्तिगत कहानी साझा कर सकते हैं जब आपने मौन में अपने आप को रिचार्ज करने के बाद गहरा रिश्ता बनाया हो? अलगाव के जाल से बचने के साथ साथ एकांत की तलाश करने में आपको किस चीज से मदद मिलती है?

Gal Beckerman is an editor at the Book Review. The excerpt above is from the NYT book review of How to Disappear: Notes on Invisibility in Times of Transparency by Aikiko Busch

Seed Questions for Reflection

What does a genuine and deep communication mean to you? Can you share a personal story of a time you communicated after recharging in silence? What helps you reconcile seeking solitude with avoiding the trap of disengagement?

Moved by this reading? Join a live Awakin Circle to discuss in community.

Join this week

More ways to connect

Join a Metta Circle

Practice loving-kindness meditation together

Explore peer-learning pods

Small groups diving deeper into shared themes

Start your own local circle

One living room, one intention — we'll help

Add Your Reflection

21 Past Reflections

Jeff Allen

Mar 29, 2023

What helps me reconcile seeking solitude with avoiding the trap of disengagement is my inner spiritual connection.
And yes, I’m reminded to go ‘out there’ and do something with that spiritual connection.
🤣
J

Sr Marilyn Lacey

Mar 29, 2023

I started reading Merton when I was in high school. He personified the insight written by St Teresa of Avila centuries ago: "Whoever reaches the innermost room of the interior castle will find himself (sic) out on the street again." Inner transformation must move outward. Authentic spirituality is ultimately a catapult, not a cocoon!

Grace

Mar 29, 2023

As a "certifiable "extrovert " I crave interaction with people. I do also crave silence to recharge by taking much needed times and places of silence . SILENCE A NEEDED ELEMENT FOR MY sanity and well-being!

Robert Currie

Mar 29, 2023

Lacking the entire article, it's difficult to comment with any sort of authenticity. I do hope the author is not confusing his fantasizing about "checking out" is equivalent to what Merton was doing at the Abbey of Gethsemani. It is wise to balance contemplation and action. The imbalance in our country is clearly an unwillingness to find time for silence amidst all the noise. Though the article ends with a conclusion, the thought remains pretty incomplete.

CRWilliams

Mar 29, 2023

I wish Gal had taken this idea even further. What happens when we are silent when we should have spoken up—in the face of injustice? What does this kind of silence perpetuate? I believe Thomas Merton explores that issue in more depth.

noha~tarek

Dec 18, 2022

My own kind of silence is usually a way of living like a hermit, because I have obsessive compulsive disorder that drive people, including my family, to run away from me! After the passing of such a long time of isolation & loneliness, I usually engage in deep philosophical conversations with the ones I love, but OCD conflict again tears us apart! Sometimes though, I keep following the news in the world, because I'm much weary about injustice, conflicts, & wars in the world, because international powers invade & plant a lot of civil strife in the Middle East - where I come from.

Vicki

Dec 15, 2022

I can so relate to Ade’s post in many ways, and in fact, literally had the same parallel, in that I was on an Amtrak bus a few days ago to surprise, my 94 and 91-year-old parents. I generally see them every couple of weeks because my dad is on hospice and my mom is getting very weak. The struggle of isolation and withdrawal in my head is because I am on the edge of leaving a very long marriage due to verbal abuse and narcissism, and having lost my sense of self through it all. Jumping into the unknown and beginning again, is a fearful terror unless I reframe it as an adventure. But coming back to my bus trip…when I arrived, the caregiver answered the door, and it was a warm welcoming with a smile and no eggshells to step on. I was “received“ as I am, and as I was with no need for explanation, or to defend myself for simply being. It felt good being in that moment of an act of love for family, because that’s what I wanted to do. I, too, have those pleading moments in the dark of night (usually at 3 or 4 AM) swirling with regret and complicity in a comfortable life, as I’ve lived with disrespect and not living up to my values and principles when it comes to family. The bus ride “home,” a spontaneous, one where no one knew, was its own adventure of presence, not thinking of myself as a victim, but rather a victorious participant in life, as I was in the moment, and in my own moment, doing what felt perfect and right with little thinking involved. Introspective and contemplative thinking is a safe place for me, yet it can also be isolating. Finding a balance to be of service to others is a way to heal myself and find purpose. Time is all we have and I don’t want to let my mind think of that future day when I can’t hop on a bus or drive the freeways to see my parents and bring them their favorite coffee cake or make them a meal. That grieving and emptiness will be another journey. So, I am here, right now, saying “thank you” for all who are sharing their extraordinary posts. I’m so happy you listened to that voice, Ade, and went home for a visit. Hide full comment

Jim Dreaver

Dec 15, 2022

Once we see that we are not this ego "I" we've believed ourselves it be, everything flows naturally - in and out from the silence that is always here...

Tamara

Dec 13, 2022

These days I have much time to recharge in silence, as I live alone with my small dog. Recently I travelled for ten days in the company of others - first a dear friend, then with my daughter. There was much more human interaction than my day to day life and I loved it all. Then came home to my quiet little house and recharged. I think it is a fine line to walk, between silence and disengagememt from the world. For me it involves curating what I let into my life via reading, video and other experiences and it's a balancing act. I think it is possible to live in engaged silence, for periods of time. Without this, I find the world overwhelming.

Carol

Dec 13, 2022

The movie "Pig" with Nicolas Cage is relevant. The main character has been a hermit for a decade. Yet, to solve a the theft of his porcine companion, he pulls wisdom from within to find a resolution and, by the way, help a broken family face its secrets. He has not lost the ability to connect in that decade.

Mark Broder

Dec 13, 2022

Vietnamese monks doused themselves in gasoline and set themselves on fire to protest the Vietnam War. Ghandi and ML King demonstrated the power of non-violent protest. Engaged Buddhism brings the contemplative path to bear on social conditions. Activity that is informed by deep silence can change the world.

Mamta Nanda

Dec 13, 2022

I have been wondering about the gift of cold weather and hibernation, going within seems like an obvious answer. Yet I need to be in the world too. So how can I live with this paradox! Yesterday I found myself with my hands on the trunk of an old majestic oak tree, asking it to teach me how to go within and be in the world at this time of the year. To me paradox is an opening for light to come through. The intelligence to move between polarities is inbuilt in us, we do this all the time with our breath, inhaling and exhaling, moving between the inner and outer....

ade

Dec 13, 2022

Not so long ago, I had to escape, withdraw, retreat from the "noise" of society. A dark, cold, rainy morning before daybreak I was on bended knees, begging, pleading, crying out to God, Creator, Spirit (and possibly any entity that would hear my prayers) to caste out the "noise" in my head. On bended knees, with tears flowing, and my nose dripping, I begged release from the ongoing, seemingly never ending anxiety of the noise in my head, the worry about everything that had developed over a period of 10 years. Every morning, every day, all day the "noise" of anxiety bound my heart, mind and soul to agony. No relief, that dark, cold, rainy morning before daybreak, I found myself on my knees pleading, begging, crying for silence, for solitude, for peace of mind. Then in an instance, a voice, and a gush, a guidance urged me to "Go home" to my ancestral home; to the little "nowhere" town of my mother's house. Interestingly, the last place on earth I would want to go to find silence, my mother 's house (and the ancestral community) was too often a place of stress, distress and unnamed anxiety for me - yet nonetheless - I realize it is "home" a place to disengage from the ongoing noise of my regular life. So I grabbed a backpack and hurriedly hiked to the bus stop in darkness of the early morning to purchase a ticket with money that I worried I didn't have to spend for the 9 hour bus ride "home". I told no one. I did not forewarn my mother (or other family members) that I would be "coming home" that dark, cold, rainy morning. The bus ride was safe and mercifully quiet (considering the community of people on a long-distance bus are usually anxious, worried, and running just like I was that day). And once there, back "home" - to my surprise, for the first time ever (very much an adult, having made the trip many, many, many times over the years), my visit to my mother's house, as well as the visit with my mother was one of solitude, solace and silence. It was a time of "genuine and deep communication" and I emerged several days later, recharged. The "noise" in my head lessened, indeed silenced. I returned to my place of residence understanding, perhaps as Merton did, that I can not completely disengage from the "noise of society" yet from time to time there is the necessity to go to the "The Abbey" for quiet contemplation; for recharging, the solace, the solitude, the silence. peace. Hide full comment

David Doane Dec 13, 2022

That's quite a thing that you took that nine hour bus ride back home -- I'm impressed. I think we grow in the back and forth, the going home and the coming back to now.

charanjit kaur

Dec 12, 2022

Yes, of course, we live in a noisy world. We have to learn happiness of silence/low voice.

Dec 12, 2022

Agreed

Mariette

Dec 12, 2022

How exploring balance? Yes, understanding one's relationship with balance may invite us into experimentation of the extremes. It's very different if extremes are explored for the extremes' case or in our search for balance. While we also remember that balance is an individualized and moment-by-moment experience. Just like Thomas Merton's example shows, at times, our optimal response is reclusion and other times it's being in the middle of it all. Neither is good or bad in its own right. What most matters is personal alignment in the moment.

David Doane

Dec 10, 2022

Total unplugging seems extreme. A balance of unplugging and plugging seems healthy and satisfying. I don't think unplugging is a prerequisite for profound connection, but I think it can be a help. Genuine and deep communication means to me communication that is genuinely caring, honest, open, respectful, and personal, which communication is also intimate. I engaged in some of such communication just this morning which happened to be after a time of silence and reflection. For me, genuine and deep communication is recharging, just as genuine and deep solitude is. Surface communication is unfulfilling and boring, just as surface silence is. I can disengage from myself and others when in solitude or with others. I avoid the trap of disengagement when I maintain genuine and deep communication with myself when alone and with myself and others when with others. Accomplishing either can be a challenge.

Jagdish P. Dave

Dec 9, 2022

I always value a balance between talking and remaing silent; a balance between open mouth and closed mouth. I apply this principle in my communication with people in my dail life. When I do not have such balance, my communication with people becomes shallow, superficial, and inauthentic. In order to have a deep and authentic communication, we need to learn to listen attentively, to be silent to process our ideas, thoughts and feelings. Between stimulus and resonse, there is a gap and in that gap of silence, deep and genuine communication is born. Silence, reflecion and empathic unnderstanding are the core ingrediants of deep and genuine communication. I have learned to create dynamic balance between talking and maintainig alive silence. In my couple counseling sessions, I teach this balance and I see how this practice helps the couple to be engaged with each other in deep and meaninful ways. When and why seeking sloitude is very important. The purpose of seeking solitude is not... View full comment

Elaine noonan Dec 17, 2022

I posted a reply as well and read your reply with deep attention . Yes balance and self recharging is essential . I see many retreating to video games, constant motion ( including myself at times) as their escape from other mental noise and stress . Going from one noise to another does not help the prior.

Ted

Dec 9, 2022

Hating some (or even all) sounds while perhaps liking others, or thinking "too much sound", or "too much silence" are all expressions of my finite ego, shaped by past causes and conditions (including my heredity and karma). Awareness and meditation allow finding right hearing, just as right thought and right action, exactly fitting in each moment of now. There is no distraction nor need to escape in that. And True empty silence is not lessened by any sounds that may take place within it, while hearing is always in the ear of the listener.