A 13-Year-Old In A Museum

Image of the Week
Hand-drawn art by Rupali Bhuva
Image of the Week
Un enfant de 13 ans dans un musée
-- de Nancy Collier

Nous nous sommes récemment rendus au Musée d’Art Moderne avec une amie et sa fille, âgée de 13 ans. Alors que nous déambulions dans les galeries du musée, j’ai été frappée par les fréquentes demandes de la fille de mon amie, nous demandant de la prendre en photo (avec son Smartphone) devant les œuvres d’art. Sa tête inclinée, elle contemplait les œuvres, dont elle posterait les photos de manière fiévreuse sur Instagram, Snapchat et tout le reste. En outre, elle n’était pas la seule jeune (ou même moins jeune) personne à faire cela. Tout le monde semblait occupé à prendre des photos de soi-même « en train de vivre l’expérience » du musée.

Ce n’est en aucun cas une critique de la fille de mon amie (ou de n’importe qui d’autre). Ce qui était préoccupant, du moins pour moi, c’était qu’à part le fait d’être photographiée et de poster, la fille de mon amie n’était aucunement intéressée par les œuvres d’art. Ce fait ne la dérangeait pas du tout et ça ne l’empêchait pas de vouloir se poster elle-même comme une personne appréciant l’expérience. Alors effectivement, quand j’avais son âge, je n’étais pas non plus intéressée par aller au musée, et lorsque j’y étais traînée, ma seule envie était de sortir du bâtiment. Ne pas être intéressé par l’art à son âge (ou à n’importe quel âge) est tout à fait normal et pas si perturbant.

Mais ce qui est troublant, c’est la quantité d’énergie qu’une jeune personne peut mettre dans la création de l’image de la vie qu’elle vit et le personnage qu’elle « est » dans cette vie. Alors que créer une image de soi a toujours joué un rôle dans le fait de grandir et dans la recherche de son identité, les médias sociaux semblent avoir changé les règles du jeu. Les médias sociaux n’ont pas seulement intensifié la pression et la possibilité de se créer une image de soi générée soi-même, mais ils ont aussi déformé le processus par lequel nous devenons qui nous sommes. Les jeunes personnes semblent maintenant créer une image de ce qu’elles sont plutôt que de devenir ce qu’elles sont, en postant leur vie plutôt que de la vivre. L’effort qui va dans la création de l’identité et de voir qu’elle est remarquée et « suivie » a remplacé les efforts de s’intéresser vraiment à la vie qu’elles sont en train de poster.

Peu importe ce qu’est vraiment l’expérience, tout dépend de vous – la personne qui la vit. Dans un concert, il ne s’agit pas de musique. Dans un restaurant, il ne s’agit pas de nourriture. Lors d’un événement sportif, il ne s’agit pas de sport. Lors d’un enterrement, il ne s’agit pas de perte. Cela dépend de vous, la personne qui fait l’action, et de ce que l’événement dit de vous. Les expériences de la vie ne sont pas vraiment vécues directement lorsqu’elles sont utilisées comme opportunités d’annoncer la sorte de personne que vous êtes. La vie est maintenant un produit au travers duquel on promeut son image, mais avec une faible connexion – et c’est là que cela devient étrange – comme si l’image de l’écran ne reflétait pas précisément l’intérieur de vous.

On observe que poster où nous sommes et ce que nous faisons est souvent plus important que d’être là où nous sommes et ce que nous faisons. C’est l’un des chemins les plus dérangeants que nous prenons à la suite des avancées de la technologie. Notre expérience n’a de signification que dans la manière où elle dit quelque chose sur nous – comment est-ce qu’elle aide à créer notre image de soi. Il en résulte que nous nous sentons plus séparés et déconnectés de notre vie ; le sens est plus difficile à trouver. Plus nous passons notre vie à nous créer une identité, plus nous nous sentons coupés de la vie. Au lieu d’en faire partie, dans le flow de la vie, nous nous sentons obligés de générer continuellement du nouveau contenu, des choses de la vie, qui nous proclament, qui nous établissent, et au final, qui nous prouvent notre existence. Dans l’intervalle, le gouffre entre la vie et nous grandit de plus en plus.

La prochaine fois que vous êtes sur le point de poster votre histoire et tout ce qui va avec, prenez une pause et prenez conscience de là où vous êtes, ressentez ce que cela fait de vivre ce que vous êtes en train de vivre, sentez ce que vous êtes en train de sentir, sans rien faire d’autre avec – sans utiliser la vie à votre avantage, ou quoi que ce soit. Vivez, tout simplement, sans vous créer de narrative. Certes, cet exercice pourrait constituer une menace à votre identité, vous faire manquer une opportunité d’établir votre valeur. En fait, les bienfaits qu’il peut offrir à votre vrai vous, celui qui est en vous et non celui qui est séparé de la vie, ira bien au-delà de toutes les pertes engendrées. Mais ne me prenez pas au mot, expérimentez-le pour vous-même.

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Questions pour faire germer la réflexion : Comment vous expliquez-vous la distinction entre créer une image de qui nous sommes et devenir qui nous sommes ? Pouvez-vous partager une histoire d’une fois où vous avez pu vous déconnecter de la création d’une image et choisir de vivre la vie directement ? Qu’est-ce qui vous aide à éviter le piège d’utiliser la vie comme un produit pour promouvoir votre image ?
Seed Questions for Reflection

How do you relate to the distinction between creating an image of who we are and becoming who we are? Can you share a personal story of a time you were able to disconnect from creating an image and lean into living life directly? What helps you avoid the trap of using life as a product to promote your image?

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Add Your Reflection

19 Past Reflections
VI
Sep 4, 2021
"Just live, without the narrative."
Powerful! Thank you for these words.
AC
Anand Chaturvedi
Sep 2, 2021
Absolutely brilliant articulations of what I always felt about. You said it right. I remember while I was growing up we used to wait for bus, go a long, very long train journeys, and so on. What do you do when you wait ? Imagine, day dream, think. But cut to now, we do not think, we only see. See WA, FB, Insta and so on. Nothing wrong but thinking has gone down, dreaming even more so.
PH
Polly Hansen
Dec 14, 2020
Life as a product to promote an image...hmm. Well, I promoted a photo of me at the Women's March in 2016 on my FB page for a couple of years, but that was entirely sincere. But I did do something absolutely horrible, secretly in my mind, when I invited two Black friends to my 60th birthday party hoping they would introduce themselves to one another and think I was hip and cool and non-racist. Like, oh look, she has other Black friends besides me. I mean, I invited them because they are my friends and I love them, but also thought of their Blackness as making me special. I know that's creepy, but there it is. So, not using social media in this way, but other people. I also recently broke my toe and was limping down the sidewalk with my two dogs when someone approached from the other direction. I moved to the street, knowing I was exaggerating my limp and powerless over the drama that had come over me, like, I'm going to make you feel guilty because I'm the one who's ... View full comment
LD
Dec 8, 2020
The soul is eternal. The body is the vehicle the soul uses to experience this lifetime.
SB
Steven Biondolillo
Dec 8, 2020
In July 1981, long before the "personal tech device" revolution, I had an interesting interchange with a busload of tourists traveling to Egypt. (I'd just finished competing in an international athletic competition in Israel and had decided to do a side-trip.) When the first major landmark came into view, everyone-- literally everyone--on that bus grabbed a camera and began clicking. The fact that I had no camera and was content "merely" to look at the site--experience the moment--didn't go unnoticed. "Where's your camera?!" "Where's your camera?!" "Where's your camera?!" The chorus of disbelief was loud and insistent. "I don't have a camera, and don't own one," I remember first saying, then practically shouting. "What I do instead is PAY ATTENTION! Try it... PAY ATTENTION!" Well, some of my fellow passengers looked puzzled (even confused) by my imperative, and others semi-stunned. Regardl... View full comment
PR
Priyanka
Dec 8, 2020
hot take/ perspective shift - writing (literature), poetry, music, dance, cooking, art, etc. was the Social Media platform of centuries past. If you couldn't hire the best composer for your court, were you even a great king? If you couldn't commission the best artist to paint you, were you worthy of being remembered? Perhaps social media and posting in the end is not only identity but self expression, and creativity the new lived experience in the digital age, but also somewhat creates a level platform of remembrance. How many people, and moments, were not captured in ages past because they didn't find a artist?
CZ
Dec 8, 2020
Amazingly True, Often we project our lives instead of living it, enjoying the moment and actually being the present moment, now!
AB
Audrey Biloon
Dec 8, 2020
So sad....this kind of insanity makes violence possible because the connection between reality snd s px of reality is lost. the only way we can stop this insanity is for parents to seethese forms of social media as bad as narcotics and to ban them. The problem is that those thirteen year olds will (too soon) become parents who won't be able to distinguish between themselves and reality and so they will be robotic role models for their children and so on. Something needs to be done NOW to expose this insanity and to educate that this kind of instant gratification will lead to the erosion of the "human" being.
HE
Hemant
Dec 8, 2020
Reading this reminded me of working in the virtual currency/gaming space. While the surface read of it was "oh - how terrible that we try to create status through these virtual goods that we buy", the next-level-down experience of it was "oh wow - we've always created/signaled status through the stuff we buy - it's just that, when it's virtual, it's harder to pretend that there's some other reason for it (like that expensive jacket that might keep you warm climbing a glacier but is not needed in SF)" Similarly, while it's horrible to think about the social-media behavior she describes (and to recognize it in myself), it's also shining the light on something we already did long before social media - namely, creating and curating images of ourselves for others to see. Maybe there's a silver-edge to this cloud of social media, which is that those tendencies we have will become so exaggerated that we can't help but recognize and addre... View full comment
KA
Kalyan
Dec 8, 2020
Appearance has become more important than reality. In other words self image has more value than self. Image is nothing but a shadow. This articles points the madness and obsession of ourselves with the shadow and helps us to focus on the light (self) that casts the shadow.
BE
Bec Dec 8, 2020
This comment absolutely resonates with me. Do you have any further reflections on image and shadow that you'd care to share, I am intrigued.
DD
Dec 5, 2020
There is a lot of creating an image occurring rather than becoming who we are. I agree with Nancy Collier that creating an image is a frequent phase, especially for young people, in figuring out our identity, and that social media fosters our creating an image instead of becoming who we are, which I think is a sad and serious problem. I'm old and am not a social media user, so I created an image all on my own and then gave it up after different amounts of time in different areas of my life until now when I am who I am. What helps me avoid the trap of using life as a product to promote an image includes often not giving a damn about my image, awareness that being who I am is satisfying like an image never is, awareness that maintaining an image is work and stressful, and awareness that an image is false and I want who I really am to be expressed and known. I also believe social media and especially the technology it is part of is here to stay, so the challenge is to use it to facili... View full comment
SM
Dec 5, 2020
We are essentially a spiritual being rather than a physical human being. Soul seperates us from the body.Once we understand this eternal truth we stop the said imagery but liven the real.This disconnect helps self realisation to lead a wholesome meaningful life.
DD
David Doane Dec 5, 2020
Don't you think soul becomes the body? And it's our lack of awareness of that that creates the appearance of separation of body and soul? That is what I have come to believe.
SM
Sunil Mor Dec 5, 2020
Agree. Union of body and soul is the ultimate goal. If one can reach that rare stage, then there may not be any questions to answer at all.No confusion or doubts. Everything is within and with us abundantly.
DD
David Doane Dec 5, 2020
If I may add another comment: I believe body and soul are in union, are one, and it's for us to become aware of that and realize that in our awareness and living. Alan Watts said, "We divide in thought what is one in nature." I believe body and soul are not divided except in out thought and lack of awareness.
SM
Sunil Mor Dec 6, 2020
Ramna Mahshri asks "Who am I ?" Soul not body. But Equally value your thoughts too with all the respects.
JP
Dec 4, 2020
The self-image that I create is only the reflection of the outside of me. It is like stagnant water rather than the flowing river. My life is dynamic. It is not static. It is becoming. It is a process and not a product. The image ofme is not my identity which is vibrating with energy and changing. The outside of me does not represent the inside of me. We all have potential to grow horizontally and vertically. The horizontal axisrepresents the expansion of my consciousness-my organic connection with nature and people. The vertical axis represents the depth of my relationship with nature and people. In order to experience my inner world, my true identity, I need to be with me fully without getting caught up in mentally narratingwhat happenedin the past or worryingabout what will happen in the future. It is flowing with the present. This happens when I do mindfulness meditation and practicing mindfulness in different contexts of my everyday life. This practice helps me grow on both horiz... View full comment