Lessons On My 70th Birthday

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Hand-drawn art by Rupali Bhuva
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Today is my birthday. I turn 70. I’ve learned a few things so far that might be helpful to others. For the past few years, I’ve jotted down bits of unsolicited advice each year and much to my surprise I have more to add this year. So here is my birthday gift to you all: bits of wisdom I wish I had known when I was young.

• About 99% of the time, the right time is right now.

• No one is as impressed with your possessions as you are.

• Dont ever work for someone you dont want to become.

• Cultivate 12 people who love you, because they are worth more than 12 million people who like you.

• Dont keep making the same mistakes; try to make new mistakes.

• Anything you say before the word “but” does not count.

• When you forgive others, they may not notice, but you will heal. Forgiveness is not something we do for others; it is a gift to ourselves.

• Whenever there is an argument between two sides, find the third side.

• The best work ethic requires a good rest ethic.

• When you lead, your real job is to create more leaders, not more followers.

• Criticize in private, praise in public.

• Productivity is often a distraction. Don’t aim for better ways to get through your tasks as quickly as possible, rather aim for better tasks that you never want to stop doing.

• Your growth as a conscious being is measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have.

• Speak confidently as if you are right, but listen carefully as if you are wrong.

• Three things you need: The ability to not give up something till it works, the ability to give up something that does not work, and the trust in other people to help you distinguish between the two.

• You’ll get 10x better results by elevating good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior, especially in children and animals.

• Ask anyone you admire: Their lucky breaks happened on a detour from their main goal. So embrace detours. Life is not a straight line for anyone.

• Don’t wait for the storm to pass; dance in the rain.

• A great way to understand yourself is to seriously reflect on everything you find irritating in others.

• What you do on your bad days matters more than what you do on your good days.

• You will be judged on how well you treat those who can do nothing for you.

• We tend to overestimate what we can do in a day, and underestimate what we can achieve in a decade. Miraculous things can be accomplished if you give it ten years. A long game will compound small gains to overcome even big mistakes.

• It’s thrilling to be extremely polite to rude strangers.

• Copying others is a good way to start. Copying yourself is a disappointing way to end.

• If your opinions on one subject can be predicted from your opinions on another, you may be in the grip of an ideology. When you truly think for yourself your conclusions will not be predictable.

• The chief prevention against getting old is to remain astonished.

Seed Questions for Reflection

Which lesson stood out for you and why? How do you relate to the notion that 'your growth as a conscious being is measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have'. Can you share a personal story of a time you were able to remain astonished? What helps you dance in the rain instead of waiting for the storm to pass?

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Add Your Reflection

25 Past Reflections
SI
Sep 16, 2024
Thank you for this. I turn 70 tomorrow. I am astonished at how we appear to be still, when in fact we are rotating rapidly on the axis of our earth planet, and hurtling through space to destinations unknown. Is it possible that even in stillness, there is movement and change?
MO
Morrso
Jul 28, 2024
Life is short. Death is long. Act accordingly.
JD
JP Devaraj
Jan 2, 2023
Old is to remain ostonished
CG
Dec 28, 2022
A thought to add. … Time flies by, like smoke through a keyhole, whether you are paying attention or not.
AR
Nov 21, 2022
ITS ALWAYS GOOD TO MAKE MISTAKES IN LIFE BUT IT IS MORE BETTER TO LEARN FROM THOSE MISTAKE........LISTEN TO EVERYONE BUT DO WHAT IS BETTER FOR YOURSELF...
CA
Cassandra
Oct 3, 2022
I savor, cause I found exactly what I used to be taking a look for.
You've ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day.
Bye dortmund drakt
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Sep 22, 2022
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Jolone
Aug 24, 2022
WoW! Other than the Bible, I have not read so much wisdom in one paper of just 2mins read! Great words of wisdom ! Thank you for sharing !
AR
Arthur
Aug 23, 2022
Take advantage of the situation to make the best of it, have fun, create something,
LI
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Paul of Flowerland Mountains
Aug 23, 2022
What has become of greater value than memory, or concentration, or intellect, or almost any effort of the brain at age 67 (almost 68): Awareness -- and exercise -- of the heart in everyday life (e.g.: kind actions, generosity, forgiveness, charity, and more than can be labeled - hope you-all get the idea.)
KL
Katharine L.
Aug 23, 2022
It's OK to admit to being wrong, and changing your mind is OK, too.
BM
Aug 23, 2022
Happy Birthday. At 88 I can say the best is yet to come. I loved dancing in the rain as a child, and even now I have done it with thanksgiving that rain has come to our parched land.
Thank you for your reflections.
BL
Aug 23, 2022
90% of the things we worry about never come true.
SU
Susan Aug 23, 2022
So true! My 87 year old mum has oft said that truth is very often somewhere in middle... what we think is the best or the worst, is just not.
SU
Susan Aug 23, 2022
So true! My 87 year old mum has oft said that truth is very often somewhere in middle... what we think is the best or the worst, is just not.
WJ
Wang Johnson Sone
Aug 23, 2022
I keep dancing in the rain because of hopefulness. I am optimistic there are brighter days ahead. I have to keep on moving in anticipating of attaining my goals or objectives established. Somebody said "A spartan dies but never surrenders".
BH
Bobby h
Aug 22, 2022
As you get older you really get what he is saying, it is wisdom gained through experience. Theory is just that, pretty much what you think will happen, can't replace experience just sometimes helps us go there to get the experience and confirm.
Dont keep making the same mistakes; try to make new mistakes, was it for me - I use it a lot myself because gives that measure of whether peopLe are growing and learning or just 'getting things done and wasting precious time by having to redo it. We do have to challenge to grow and stretch ourselves uncomfortable coversations help and the willingness to engage is a test of character and growth. Every morning I am astonished by the beauty of the rising sun. Knowing how much fun I will have or how much I can learn by dancing in the rain, comes from being an endurance athlete get to do it often, awesome.
AN
Aug 22, 2022
Yes I agree but would like to add one thing - silence is the answer to everything, especially if you are someone who always likes to have the last word
SU
Aug 22, 2022
I love this sort of 'sage advice' and reflections from others on life and living! There's that phrase, "Take what you need and leave the rest." and I feel that way with Kevin Kelly's list - though most of them resonate with me on some level and give me further room for thought! As I am aging and living and doing things I hadn't imagined, I get Kevin's list making of advice and it is good to listen to these things from others as Kevin says, "...they might be helpful"!
DD
Aug 20, 2022
A few of many that stood out for me are: 1) The right time is now because now I feel enthused, and it quickly passes and becomes another missed opportunity. 2) It's true that everything before 'but' is not fully true. 3) Forgiveness is a gift to ourselves -- a big gift. 4) Most criticism is better not said -- it's unwanted, unhelpful, and it hurts. 5) Speak your truth confidently, plus be open and listen. 6) There's much more value in reinforcing good behavior than punishing bad behavior. 7) Embrace detours -- they're full of surprise and life. 8) Understand self by reflecting on what you find irritating in others -- that is very true. 9) The long haul one step at a time very much exceeds the value of a flash in the pan. 10) Copy others briefly, be yourself longterm. As for uncomfortable conversations, it is in those in which we are open, sincere, honest that we grow. I'm glad that I am naturally often astonished -- it gives me joy and helps me be alive. What helps me dance ... View full comment
TE
Aug 20, 2022
There is some truth and value in considering each of these, and I can remember instances where they fit in my life, BUT every one seems to have exceptions when &where they do not apply. If nothing before the "but" counts, what are we left with? It seems to me the consideration (and meditations) spurred by these aphorisms DOES have value despite the exceptions...
DD
David Doane Aug 20, 2022
What we are left with before the "but" is the opposite of what was said.
JP
Aug 19, 2022
This is a great Birthday Kevine! There are many wonderful lessons cited by Kevin and that makes it difficult for me to choose a couple of leassons. The one that applies to me is " Don't wait for the storms to pass; dance in the rain." This statement took me back to my my little home town in Gujarat where I was born. On a hot summer day we were eagerly waitning for the dark clouds to show up and rain for hours. It was the right day and time for us to dance. And we keep on dancing until we got tired. Now I am old and I relate to this satement differently. I see the value of living fully in the present moment fully and joyfully. The present is the real time. Not to dwell on the past and be anxious about to morrow. Now is the real time. The second lesson "Your growth as a conscious being is measured by the number of uncomfotrable conversations you are willing to have. " I find it rather difficult to relate to conersation with people who have rigid and fixed different posiotins in poli... View full comment