Compassionate Leadership
Speaker: N.Vaghul
Session Moderated by: Venkat Krishnan, Shruti Sachdeva

On Believing/ trusting in fellow humans:

• When you have trust in people, people reciprocate the trust.
• When dealing with people, give precedence to the innately trusting human nature.
• ‘We are all interconnected. If I don’t trust others, I don’t trust myself.’
• When people come to you for help, with the purpose of the larger good, trust them.

On Compassion:

• Compassion is a limiting word in English. Most of the time it is only used for the act of doing charity or for the act of helping others but it is not just about philanthropy. It has a bigger connotation. Compassion is also about raising each other up in order to raise the society as whole (which should be our motto)
• Compassion should be the common running thread in life; it should be a life-style rather than just a part of one aspect of life
• Compassion is when we feel the interconnectedness with others.
• Purpose of life is to be compassionate to all individuals and to the society. Compassion should be the way of life.
• Spirituality and compassion are one and the same thing.
• Compassion is the core of this life and of the after-life (referring to the lessons learned in near-death experiences. Books mentioned on the topic: Anita Moorjani’s ‘Dying to be Me’/ Eben Alexander’s ‘Proof of Heaven’).
• Learn compassion from nature. Even plants show compassion to each other.

On Rising up while being grounded:

• Swami Ram Tirtha’s, a teacher of practical Vedanta, compared the humble game of Gilli-Danda, an ancient Indian sports, with life. As the gilli (small oval-shaped piece of wood), which lies rooted to the ground is hit with a danda (a stick), it rises up in the air. How much the gilli will rise up, depends on the skillful use of the danda by the player. That’s how one should rise in life, through practicing and polishing one’s own skill while being rooted to the ground.

On Feminism:

• I look at women not as women (gender) but as human beings.
• Gender neutrality is the way to go in the world. Treat women not on the basis of gender but on basis of their talents and skills.
• Strive to make your organization, safe place for women to thrive.

On handling Disappointment in people:

• I have no obligation to improve other people but myself.
• My focus should be on improving myself.
• ‘I don’t waste time when people disappoint me. It is better to move on. Life is short.’

On Personal growth:

• We must strive to become balanced humans.
• Analogy of how different things react differently when dropped in the same boiling water: When carrot is dropped in boiling water, it gets squishy. When an egg is dropped, it becomes hard but when coffee beans are dropped in boiling water, it not only changes the water colour it also infuses its smell in the surrounding. Be like the coffee.
• Don’t seek anything in life. Let things happen to you.

• A good way to solve a problem is to elevate yourself. Focus on changing yourself not the problem.
• Stop intellectualizing the truth. Walk in the truth. (similar to: Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk)
• Find an inner silent space within. You must become silent in order to be able to listen to yourself.
• Collective good should be chosen over individual self.

• Analogy of a pencil:

Hand that holds the pencil: It is not the pencil that makes the writing happen, but the hand that holds it and guides it so it happens in life. It is the divine hand that guides us and does things through us so be humble.

Sharpening the pencil: From time to time the pencil must endure a sharpener to be able to work better so is the case with human beings. Sufferings are not punishments that are sent our way but they are opportunities to teach us new skills for the betterment of life.

Eraser and Pencil: As we erase the mistakes of a pencil when we realise that we have made them, so should be the case with human mistakes. When we make mistakes, instead of focusing on them and getting stuck with them, we must learn from them and move on.

The outer wooden covering: In a pencil, it is not the outer wooden covering, which is important. It is the black lead. So is the case with human beings. What is inside that physical body is what needs our attention.
The written impression: When the pencil is put to good use in writing, it leaves a mark on the world, same should be the case with the human beings. It should strive to leave a mark on the world through their work.
On Millennial generation:

• Contrary to what the Greek Philosopher, Socrates believed, ‘If the whole world depends on today’s youth, I cannot see the world lasting another 100 years’, our millennials are extremely bright and knowledgeable. What they just need is some societal intervention to nudge them on the path of becoming wholesome human beings.

On the present Social situation:

• Despondency on the sharp decline in the social values
• Good-intent people should unite for the common cause of social change and transformation. Collective efforts are more effective than individual attempts.
• Greed for money and fame has robbed the society of its charm.
• Social, political and individual attempts should be towards uniting the society not to divide it in the name of caste/creed/status.
• The power of technology has given us an opportunity to be connected with one another without actually being in the same physical space. This power should be harnessed in uniting people for the betterment of the society.
• Label the greed as a flaw of society to be able to get rid of it at all levels.
• It is not only the greed for money that is bad. Greed for recognition is also a greed.
• Society should collectively fight against pettiness in deeds and thoughts.

On dealing with Competition in the professional world:

• Competition should not be for destroying the other person. Competition should be for the sole purpose of learning the skills and for the benefit of the society.

On dealing with Burn-out, Depression etc:

• Improve your immunity against things. Don’t allow things to bother you.
• Don’t be bothered about other people’s opinion on you. Try and become your own authentic person.
• Try and replace negative emotions like anger, jealousy, greed etc with positive ones of gratitude and compassion.

On dealing with Problems in life:

• Don’t focus on the problem. Look into yourself to change what needs to be changed.
• Change yourself, environment will take care of itself.

Some memorable quotes from the call: