Pain, the Price of Freedom

What I find so interesting in the practice of being still is the implication that so called "negative" emotions are to be "shed" while those of goodness are to be multiplied.  Why so?  Why multiply anything?  If we are not defined by our emotions (and are the dynamic organic container which holds them), can we not use them as catalysts to our own growth?  Can they not server as pathways that provide access to an unknown depth that lies within us?  We have tools for coping with happiness-we share the kernels that bring us joy and articulate why they do so, can we then not use the same tool of "sharing" anger and frustration articulated in a responsible ways?  (Sharing, not multiplying) 

Singer says it poignantly when he writes, "Relax your heart until you are actually face-to-face with the exact place where it hurts. Stay open and receptive so you can be present right where the tension is."  It can be viewed that some of the roots of depression and loneliness is not the absence of happiness, but rather the denial that the depression & loneliness are even there let alone their intensity.  Helping others and making a difference are certainly uplifting when standing on their own, but can easily be escapes to not wanting to (or knowing how to) work through experiences of fear, loneliness, anger, and even rage.  Do we have tools to express them.  

Is it possible to compassionately hold the anger?  To let the experience of frustration and rage arise and pass with mindfulness, becoming both the experiencer (fully allowing what arises to arise - so as not to become numb) to it, as well as, the observer inquiring into the attachments that cause the anger or rage (so as to learn from it)?  

I would assert yes.

 Namaste to all of you --

Beautiful essay and lovely circle as always. My experiences and experiments with pain can be summarized in the following expression:

Pain = Language of Life.

I shared that I like pain, because pain seems to be an evidence that I am alive. During the practice of Yoga, we often share with the participants to "let go and relax" especially in final deep relaxation in Shavasana, and measuring by the sign of those beautiful smiles, I know it works.

A short personal story - few years ago a bunch of my friends and I were on an adventurous trip to hike Yosemite Half dome (17+ miles, 8000+ elevation). It's one of the tough hikes I have done so far. The last few hundred yards of the hike is very steep, it has be done with the help of hanging steel cable. I could hike up all the way to the foot of the half dome and started ascending the dome via the steel cable. There were so many people lining up for their spot to go up the cable. I stood their patiently waiting for my turn. The sun was getting really hot,  we were quickly running low on our water reserves and strength in our legs. The prospect of reaching to the top in just few hundred yards really helped to refill my energy and enthusiasm which otherwise was pretty much drained through the sweat and millions of steps. I did mange to reach almost to the top holding the cables as tightly as my tired hands could. We were damn scared with the signs and warnings around that read "fall to death" zone. Right then, there was this sudden "thud thud thud" sound followed by an absolutely silence with only the gradually diminishing echoing of the "thud thud" sound. I was frozen. When my eyes looked frantically towards the source of sound, I felt the great relief when I figured out that the sound was in fact from a big water bottle that got accidentally dropped from someone's backpack. It's quite a nerve wrecking experience at the beginning as there were some incidents of hikers fatally slipping from the steep area of the hike especially during stormy days. Everyone were so deeply relieved that we were not witnessing one of those tragic incidents in front of our own eyes. 

I might be about 80% up through the cable, I tried to step forward to the next big rock, that's it, my both legs gave up, frozen with excruciating pain shooting up from toes to the hip, perhaps due to deep dehydration and running low on minerals due to profuse sweating. Both legs lost control at the exact same time, with absolutely no sensation and ability to even standup and rest a bit. I am there hanging on the cable only with the tired hands with the legs hanging in air, wow! -- what a way to strength test those poor hands. A thought flashed - what do I do now? trust the universe for help? -- it's matter of few minutes before my hands are going to give up as well, I am in deepest pain I ever experienced, I can barely speak and ask for help, everyone seems to be too occupied with their own physical agony to deal with, will anyone really be able to help at this steep elevation as they may risk their own safety. I was soon running really really low on my survival chances, my legs are senseless and hands are shaking, right then I decided to release one hand and stay up with just one hand, that allowed me to reach closer to the rock and slide the frozen legs so I can lie down and rest the legs a little bit more, I started to feel some support against one of the leg, I couldn't see what it is and if it can hold me from falling off the steep cliff I release the cable from the other hand as well. Again I trusted my leg and the rock underneath, I released the hand just in time before it gave up itself, oh ouch!, it hurts, what do I do now, I can't yell for my friends, who knows they might be fighting their own battle may be even worse than the one I am in. I open my eyes and see a pair of hands offering something and instructing to take it telling me how I can heal the leg cramps with that offering. I only remember putting those powder into my mouth and drinking few sips of water, something start to change in few minutes, I started to notice someone giving a muscle relaxing massgae to my legs, and the legs are starting to feel the life and not just the pain. It turns out, the person who helped was was one of the hikers behind me, she had some extra salt/sugar packs that she carried for her own hike. I couldn't thank her enough and told her jokingly that "if you were to have cramps on half dome, make sure you have someone with extra salt/sugar following you", we both had a hearty laughter. I would like to offer this writing as my gratitude to her, don't know where she came from and where she's gone, never seen her later. I did go to the top and the nature at the top completely wiped out all the pain of the journey. It was an extra special hike, the agonizing pain to me seemed like a gateway to the ultimate joy and freedom I experienced at the top of the dome. We bagan our descending journey after some powerful Yoga practice at the highest point of the dome. Yoga at the top of this part of the world was amazingly refreshing. I was reminded of this experience when Dinesh uncle shared his reflections in the circle that "pain in inevitable, but it's well worth it when you reach the top of the mountain" -- yes -- it indeed was well worth it! -- thank you all.

Unconditional (Jennifer Welwood)

Willing to experience aloneness,
I discover connection everywhere;
Turning to face my fear,
I meet the warrior who lives within;
Opening to my loss,
I gain the embrace of the universe;
Surrendering into emptiness,
I find fullness without end.
Each condition I flee from pursues me,
Each condition I welcome transforms me
And becomes itself transformed
Into its radiant jewel-like essence.
I bow to the one who has made it so,
Who has crafted this Master Game.
To play it is purest delight;
To honor its form--true devotion. 

I face this problem a lot, when someone says someting what is not logically correct or unreasonable as per my understanding and argues with me sticking to his point, I feel angry and respond in a way which I regret latter. I tell myself that I should be calm and composed during such interactions but I can't control myself at actual moment and get involved in the arguement. I feel like I am swept away in that moment of anger. Though I know that I must let go and not cling to the incident or words, It pops into my mind randomly and I start to think about the incident and again feel a little disturb. What I am trying to say is though I would prefer to be calm while intracting with people having different point of views, it is very difficult in reality. I would definitely try this approach and hope I will be more balanced and calm.

I am a regular visitor of this great website and I know that I getting better day by day with all the good thoughts shared here.

Thanks a lot for all the great thoughts.