There Is Just One Thing To Do

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Image of the Week

When you become a lover of what is, there are no more decisions to make. In my life, I just wait and watch. I know that the decision will be made in its own time, so I let go of when, where, and how. I like to say I'm a woman with no future. When there are no decisions to make, there's no planned future. All my decisions are made for me, just as they are all made for you. When you mentally tell yourself the story that you have something to do with it, you're attaching to an underlying belief. […]

I would often return from a long trip to find the house full of dirty laundry, piles of mail on my desk, the dog dish crusted, the bathrooms a mess, and the sink piled high with dishes. The first time this happened, I heard a voice that said, "Do the dishes". It was like coming upon the burning bush, and the voice from the bush said, "Do the dishes." It didn't sound very spiritual to me, but just followed its directions. I would stand at the sink and just wash the next dish, or sit with the piles of bills and pay the one on top. Just one at a time. Nothing else was required. At the end of the day, everything would be done, and I didn't need to understand who or what did it.

When a thought appears, such as "Do the dishes" and you don't do them, notice how an internal war breaks out. It sounds like this, "I'll do them later. I should have done them by now. My roommate should have done them. It's not my turn. It's not fair. People will think less of me if I don't do them now." The stress and weariness you feel are really mental combat fatigue.

What I call "doing the dishes" is the practice of loving the task in front of you. Your inner voice guides you all day long to do simple things such as brush your teeth, drive to work, call you friend, or do the dishes. Even though it's just another story, it's a very short story, and when you follow the direction of the voice, that story ends. We are really alive when we live as simply as that -- open, waiting, trusting, and loving to do what appears in front of us now.

What we need to do unfolds before us, always -- doing the dishes, paying the bills, picking up the children's socks, brushing our teeth. We never receive more than we can handle, and there is always just one thing to do. Life never gets more difficult than that.

--Byron Katie, in 'Loving What Is'

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22 Past Reflections
KA
Jul 20, 2025
"Loving the task in front of you" -- what a great life lesson~
I never resent doing the dishes because it gives me the pleasure of getting a simple task done; I can see the benefit; and I can let my mind wander...or not. Watering my plants isn't something I look forward to, but as I turn the watering can to them, I also start grooming them as well, and it makes me happy to see them thrive, and, of course, disappointment when they don't. But this activates my mind, and I think, "What could I have done better," and "I need to get on YouTube for advice on tomato plants." I love all that.
SB
Jul 19, 2025
Wow, this is so beautiful and simple.
I have done it all...
And then I have done all the mental combat but yes
What I need to do is listen to my inner voice and just do that one thing.
Loving the task and always choose love
Thankyou for sharing
JD
Jul 19, 2025
Thanks for this inspiring article.
I am in the process of learning to accept and love what is. The long conditioning and social pressure is not easy to overcome, though.
EM
Elsa McInville
Aug 16, 2024
What is the point of complaining-just go ahead and it will be done-to much energy wasted on complaing
JA
Jane
Jun 14, 2024
I so relate to this. How the regular seemingly mundane tasks of daily life are so vitally important to not just keep order but keep us grounded. Thank you!
YA
Jul 15, 2023
It's easier for me to do for my family members putting aside of my tasks. Maybe it's refuge. Still, I do and am happy when things get done. Just feel the burden of my tasks, that I need to finish them. So the author loving what's in front of her one at a time. I can try and I will. This is a positive act of loving rather than the state of loving naturally. "To seize the war inside", very wise to do so. "We never receive more than we can handle" is another positive belife that I want to hold more stronger. "Just do one at a time" is good to release my pressure from the piles of tasks.
PF
Jul 14, 2023
Oh my, if only I could accept all that is around me. I've come a ways but lots to go. I love the idea that "all my problems, disappointments, angry moments, despicable people in my life are TEACHERS and are in my life to teach me something I haven't learned yet.
Simplicity and gratitude — heaven on earth. }:- a.m.
SW
Aug 23, 2020
Today I heard the passage and didn't read it. It was so beautiful to hear that. So first of all thank you for that. And just that life can be so simple :) Just beautiful.
AS
May 7, 2009

Its true that do all the goods you can & in all tha ways you can bec'z Life always gives you everything in return in two folds what you have put into it.

AG
A G
Apr 29, 2009

This was very inspiring. I think we should all think the way you think. That way, household arguments will never be a problem.

MU
muddu
Apr 5, 2009

Phil,

Don't Loose Hope.Just Remember the night is always Darkest before the Dawn. Don't Get Depressed.If you still feel like your living is not worth ful..then live for others..Smile at people..Give a Hug to the One in Need..Do something good for others.Like dropping your neighbours kid at school..help an Oldman cross the road..this things will just bring self satisfaction to you that for today i atleast lived for the others..

Hope my mail finds you in best of your health..

Now give me a smile and accept my Hug.

Regards

muddu

RE
Reema
Apr 4, 2009

Phil,

Please do not lose hope. God is there with you.

Reema.

KA
Apr 2, 2009

Phil..May you learn to rise above and just observe...The New Earth book talks about being addicted to "pain energy"  and that  through suffering we become enlightened...

FJ
FJ
Apr 1, 2009

Phil,

Thanks for sharing this story because it helps others.  Good luck to you, FJ.

SE
Mar 31, 2009

Wise words. Listening to the inner voice helps me to avoid grief in my life. Thank you for sharing

PD
Philip Doggett
Mar 31, 2009
Hi, my name is phil, and i would just like to say a few words about life through my eyes.I am forty three and  I have mental health problems for 20 years, and have been in a black hole more than once. After growing up with trauma and severe Personalty disorder, and depressive disorder, my life has seemed not woth living, and have knocked on heavens door many times. Low self asteem and severe times of depression, made my outlook on life not worth living. My memory is so bad now, that i cant remember what ive done the day before, or what day it is. this has impacted my life even more, and im on a section 117, in the community for the last five years. Six months ago, i had two hernina operations, afterwords my closest friend in my life who was there for me unconditnly, as i was for her, many times before, she  took care orf me during my  recovery. Six months ago, i found her after  takin her own life, and yet again my life w... View full comment
SO
Sophia
Mar 31, 2009

I like this, but at what point does "doing the dishes" turn into being taken advantage of?  This is something I struggle with- others get used to me always "doing the dishes" and then expect it. 

SA
Samsara Jun 30, 2018

Namaste Sophia and I understand that very much.

(When I had a particular partner and, before I found sobriety, codependent recovery, and ultimately _The Work_ I was victimized in this way you ask about and feeling as if the world - for the sake of simplicity - had piled all the dishes on me *because* I would do it.)

What I ultimately learned was that to go against myself (ie, NOT do the dishes) in order to *teach* him (OR THE WORLD) to do *his fair share* was mentally exhausting, stressful, and self-initiated war-mongering.

After noticing that I had been going into his (or others') mental business of taking advantage of me, I ultimately returned to my business only and simply did the dishes because I noticed that, when I did, I lived within my mind at ease.

I also picked up his socks without further complaint (or 'lesson teaching') and took his dirty plates to the kitchen, and washed his clothes, and paid the bills, and took care of the cats and dog, and went to events by myself because he was too tired, and etc, etc, etc, ...

One day I was reading a book on recovery from codependency when a light went off in my head and it occurred to me I would have more time for my own life if I moved somewhere else and not invite him. It occurred to me that I would feel marvelously alone and only have to contend with my own mess which, I'd decided, was all I wanted to deal with. And I did. 

I'm not saying my actions should be yours or anyone else's. What I hope my comment can convey is that once my mind was at peace, that peace-loving thoughts & ideas arose and, again, I just followed their instructions.

PS. I did not stay 'marvelously alone' however. I did fall in love and partnered (10+ years now), with someone who is not unfamiliar with taking care of his own dishes. ;)

GA
Mar 31, 2009

I call this doing nothing and then things happen.

The notion that "I" am the doer who makes things happen is the root cause of all trouble.Or the underlying notion that  i am the only responsible person around and the others are all good for nothing.

Ganoba

DO
Doreen
Mar 30, 2009

This makes sense. I should really practice this method!

RM
Ramesh M. Shani
Mar 30, 2009

So much simply true! I have been living life the same way. Doing what the call says for the moment, and leaving the rest for it's call.