Tell Me Your Story
It came to me in the middle of the night a couple of weeks ago, four words that could change the world:
Tell me your story.
These four words could have an impact on everything from global conflict to personal well-being. All we have to do is ask others to tell us their stories and then be quiet. Oh, one other thing: While you are listening, try to imagine what it would be like - and how you would feel - if it were your story. That's called empathy.
So just ask people for their stories, listen, imagine, and feel - sounds naive, doesn't it? Stick with me here.
First, saying these words will change you. Listening to others is an act of emotional generosity, and there is ample evidence that generosity stimulates the brain's endorphins - natural antidepressants. [...]
Second, this little exercise will change the person whose story you've asked for. Socrates may have overstated the issue a bit when he said, in modern translation, "an unexamined life is not worth living," but we humans do have a fundamental need to be understood for who we are. Think of how full we feel when someone looks in our eyes and says she wants to know how we experience our lives.
In today's world, social networks are shrinking. The number of people who report having no intimate friends is increasing. Simple eye contact, along with a caring "tell me your story," can go a long way toward diminishing someone's feelings of alienation and aloneness. I've spoken those words to kids of all ages in all kinds of neighborhoods. Most thank me for asking - and say that no one has ever done so before.
Third, beyond diminishing alienation and increasing a sense of connection, these four words can have a biological effect on both parties. According to Herbert Adler, a psychiatrist at Jefferson, compassion in the doctor-patient relationship actually changes each person's biological healing system. And if that happens in those relationships, it happens in other relationships. It literally promotes healing.
(...) Try it with a neighbor you don't know very well, a relative with whom you've had a misunderstanding. Try it with a street person and see what happens to both of you.
Just four words. We could start a movement.
--Dan Gottlieb
GREAT!!!
As someone rightly said
"Every person you meet, has a story to tell, a lesson to teach and a dream to do"
I wonderful proposal. Such simple action would have powerful repercussions.
I am part of a movement in Australia which is called RUOK?Day on September 15 people are asked to reach out to someone they are concerned about and ask "Are you OK?" Last year over 2 million Australians had RUOK? conversations.
Our tag line is "a conversation could change a life" and I believe that to be true for both the "asker" and the "askee".
"Tell me your story" covers many other scenarios and I will add it to my inventory of enquiry.
Even in my neighborhood there is a constant clique happening as well. When my kids were younger no one seemed to be at home and it was extremely isolating. I needed to do something to save my sanity so I went and looked for people only to find in my close mid size town that people seemed skeptical of unfamiliar folks. This enabled them to stay in their comfort zone and keep out others. I really can't relate to this. Now, when I come across someone else who was just like me, I stop myself and remember how it was for me so that I can keep my self in check.
Tell me your story. Mitsy
I really like this. I work with adults with developmental disabilities, which means anything that occurs to make them disabled before the age of 22. (Usually its something that occurs at birth or shortly afterwards, but perhaps an automobile accident at 19 left him a quadraplegic, etc.)
The reason I am so good at what I do is that I HAVE to really listen. Sometimes the disability makes their speech difficult to hear/understand. Sometimes its almost like learning another language! But if you are truly attentive, you can understand what they are saying and then you can really and truly advocate for them. It's sometimes like being a translator.
Great reading, when someone listed to me for the first time in my life, it changed my life forever.
Most of us don't feel that we are "heard". There is a difference b/w when you speak and someone listens through their ears or with their ears, heart and soul. :-)
Its 100 % true, this is my personal experience too,i may not have used the same words as used her,but offered to listen to no of lives,i knw wht impact it has,,,everyone wnts tht love shown from eyes n someone to listen n it makes all the difference...though genuine self reflection, self analysis n genuine concern in sch things brings sustainable difference.
It's as simple as christ's teaching ' love your neighbour as yourself ' ! If you do this, you will invariably be doing all that is mentioned in this News that Inspires
