Giving it All up to the Stillness

I realize that I have spent much of my life waiting for inspiration. Ever since I was a child, I have had an Inner Voice that has guided me through these many years, through all the difficult and painful times, and has provided me with inspiration, guidance and practical help in all the good times and creative times of my life.

But there have been times, sometimes long periods of time, when this Voice has grown still. Gradually I learned that when my Inner Voice grew still, then it was time for me to be still, to sit quietly and wait. These periods of waiting have always turned out to be some of my deepest teachings. They ceased being my "waiting" periods and became transformed into periods of deep "listening."

The more still my Inner Voice, the more still my mind has to become so that I can listen more intently. The quieter my mind becomes the richer each moment becomes. I remember initially I would be concerned that I had done something wrong. Then I would get depressed, impatient, frustrated. But gradually I gave it all up to the stillness. There have been periods when I have had to listen for months.

Then finally, when I have to completely let go of all my resistance, when all I can DO is BE -- very, very deep inside there is a slight movement and my heart leaps. I can feel the inner joy begin to arise slowly. The long quiet winter is drawing to a close. I know that Spring is coming.

--Marion Wilson-Gruzalski