A Newly Rich Life With Yourself
Do not despise your inner world. That is the first and most general piece of advice I would offer. Our society is very outward-looking, very taken up with the latest new object, the latest piece of gossip, the latest opportunity for self-assertion and status. But we all begin our lives as helpless babies, dependent on others for comfort, food, and survival itself. And even though we develop a degree of mastery and independence, we always remain alarmingly weak and incomplete, dependent on others and on an uncertain world for whatever we are able to achieve.
As we grow, we all develop a wide range of emotions responding to this predicament: fear that bad things will happen and that we will be powerless to ward them off; love for those who help and support us; grief when a loved one is lost; hope for good things in the future; anger when someone else damages something we care about. Our emotional life maps our incompleteness: A creature without any needs would never have reasons for fear, or grief, or hope, or anger. But for that very reason we are often ashamed of our emotions, and of the relations of need and dependency bound up with them. [...] People don’t know how to deal with their own emotions, or to communicate them to others. When they are frightened, they don’t know how to say it, or even to become fully aware of it. Often they turn their own fear into aggression. Often, too, this lack of a rich inner life catapults them into depression in later life. We are all going to encounter illness, loss, and aging, and we’re not well prepared for these inevitable events by a culture that directs us to think of externals only, and to measure ourselves in terms of our possessions of externals.
What is the remedy of these ills? A kind of self-love that does not shrink from the needy and incomplete parts of the self, but accepts those with interest and curiosity, and tries to develop a language with which to talk about needs and feelings. Storytelling plays a big role in the process of development. As we tell stories about the lives of others, we learn how to imagine what another creature might feel in response to various events. At the same time, we identify with the other creature and learn something about ourselves. As we grow older, we encounter more and more complex stories — in literature, film, visual art, music — that give us a richer and more subtle grasp of human emotions and of our own inner world.
So my second piece of advice, closely related to the first, is: Read a lot of stories, listen to a lot of music, and think about what the stories you encounter mean for your own life and lives of those you love. In that way, you will not be alone with an empty self; you will have a newly rich life with yourself, and enhanced possibilities of real communication with others.
What do you understand by a self-love that does not shrink from the needy and incomplete parts of the self? Can you share a personal experience of a time when you discovered a newly rich life with yourself? What works for you in relating to yourself at a deeper level?
I was diagnosed with life style decease in 2012. Today I am healthy and happy. While recovering from the illness, I decided to stop working for earning. I started Enjoying(self loving) my life. For last two years, I have shared my past experiences and knowledge with many non-profit organizations and suddenly realized that a joy in sharing my knowledge with others is more satisfying than making money! Our needs, our wanting and possessiveness comes from ignorance of understanding our own self! Self-knowledge and dropping our ego will naturally turn our life at a deeper level to peace love and having less and less need.
This passage was read after an Awakin where there are 3 of our young members who traditionally struggle with long silence but decided to give it a shot.....and it was so appropriate!
With most young people, there is the challenge of even pointing to their inward spaces....of course there are exceptions who are deeply anchored in their inner journeys. But for most part, requesting a group of restless youth to be in silence even for a few minutes (which I do before my sessions) is bound to be violated....and yet it is one of the most worthwile things to do with them :)
I think it is like any other place - you may find it initially very fascinating, then very boring and then you disover it in a whole new light....after that second deeper discovery, it is an endless rich tapestry of darkness intersperced with wonders :)
We need not apologize for having weaknesses. God made each of us to be strong and to be weak in areas . . . Both being essential parts of our whole. (God has a plan!)
We were created to add, subtract, multiply and divide ourselves inwardly (strengths and weaknesses, as necessary) that we may be suitable partners in/with the world we are called to serve, teach and enhance.
As we cannot give what we do not have, it is essential we nurture/spend time with ourselves to magnify/align ourselves with/in Him (His mission/purpose/His love")
A complete self love accepts what we may consider flaws or weaknesses. In April I fully accepted that I have Depression; it is one facet of me, it is not All of me. When I finally went public via a blog post about my challenges it was amazing the love and light that poured in from others. So many people began to share Their struggles and challenges and together we realized none of us are alone. We have each other to talk to, lean on and love. It opened up deeper conversations. It also made me feel a bit more free. As a Storyteller, I agree 100% that we are the Stories we share, tell, read, and discover. We can choose which stories we tell. And the Stories can help us to grow & learn. May we all love all ourselves; even the dark bits. HUGS from my heart to yours.
