Letter to My Grandson
CARTA A MI NIETOA nadie nos resultan fáciles los cambios. Cuanto mayores nos hacemos, más cambios tenemos que afrontar. Todo cambio implica una pérdida, y siempre que perdemos algo, querríamos recuperarlo. Cada cosa que he perdido en mi vida – fuera importante o no – al principio quería recuperarla.
Así que, como sabemos que todo cambio implica pérdida y toda pérdida a su vez lleva a un cambio, mamá y papá andaban preocupados por cómo reaccionarías cuando llegara la hora de que renunciaras a tu amado chupete – tu “chupe”.
Ahora que has cumplido cuatro años, ya no tienes chupete; no tienes nada para que te proteja cuando sientes miedo. Por eso es que los cambios son difíciles. Esos objetos transicionales nos proporcionan una falsa sensación de seguridad. Cuando desaparecen, no nos queda otra que gestionar esa inseguridad que siempre estuvo allí.
Sam, prácticamente todo aquello por lo que nos encariñamos, tarde o temprano lo vamos a perder; nuestras cosas, a nuestros seres queridos, incluso nuestra juventud y nuestra salud. Así es: cada pérdida nos llega como un mazazo. Pero esa pérdida también abre paso a otras posibilidades. Un dicho Sufi lo expresa así: “Cuando el corazón llora por aquello que perdió, el alma se regocija por lo que gana en su lugar.”
Por mucho que alguien que te ame quiera evitar que sientas dolor y rápidamente te dé tu chupete, eso no sería una buena idea. Cada etapa del crecimiento tiene que ver con perder algo, y sin esa pérdida no tendrías acceso a lo bueno que te trae.
De modo que, cuando experimentes el dolor de una pérdida, por favor no eches mano de cualquier cosa para librarte de él. Solo confía en que, como todo, se trata de algo pasajero. Si decides atravesarlo conocerás tu habilidad para lidiar con la adversidad. Aprenderás cómo es que manejas los momentos difíciles y te sentirás orgulloso. Y cuando ya estés al otro lado, habrás aprendido algo más sobre ti.
Hace poco que una amiga mía me hablaba de que había tenido tantas dificultades en su vida que le parecía que estaba viviendo una pesadilla de la que no sabía cómo salir. Le dije ¡que se fuera a una parada de autobús y que esperara allí a que uno llegara! Me miró como si me hubiera vuelto loco. Le expliqué que todas las emociones son algo pasajero, y que de la misma manera que lo hacemos con el autobús, podemos esperar a que pasen. Podemos esperar frustrados, enfadados o sintiéndonos una víctima de las circunstancias, pero eso no va a conseguir que el bus llegue antes; podemos esperar con paciencia y relajadamente, pero eso ¡tampoco va a hacer que el bus venga antes! Lo único que tenemos que hacer es confiar en que va a llegar.
--Daniel Gottlieb, en Cartas a Sam
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40 Past Reflections
On Dec 22, 2021 Usha wrote :
As I read this and recollect my life…
Having lost the house, business, loved ones ….not sure of what was happening, but everything was gone in a jeffy. The ground broke loose and everything that I thought was mine was lost. The lifetime of building it all up was shattered. No amount of effort to protect it helped. It’s all history, but as I read this, all comes alive and as I write this, I shed the tears of pain again. Knowing and understanding fully well, the universe has put me on to another trajectory which is greater than all that I thought I built. The joy of being in the womb of this creation negates all the hurt and pain that I think causes due to your past,
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On Feb 6, 2014 GITA wrote :
Guess we all have a grandfather somewhere in the form of someone telling us such beautiful words of wisdom. In my case it was this grandfather!!
GITA
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On Jun 23, 2012 Grace Binas wrote :
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On Apr 27, 2012 Vipul Shaha wrote :
The poem ends with this encouraging line: ​'Ya Karmanna Jinkuni Gele Tech Jagi Yaa Dev Khare...'
(Those who overcome these Karmas, are the true divine beings...)
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On Apr 23, 2012 Ricardo from Brazil wrote :
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On Dec 26, 2011 Ruby wrote :
Everything on earth is temporary, even our very lives. James 4:14 says, " Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." And so, Matthew 6:20 suggests, " But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal."
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On Dec 18, 2011 jimmi wrote :
Our lives these truths we cannot ignore yet our dreams are always within reach with each and every breathe we believe in a power greater than ourselves as we reflect on the life everlasting free from sin free from evil grow in me almighty spirit and allow me to release and evdure the love you have for me like the growth in each and every moment of my journey.
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On Dec 12, 2011 Pancho wrote :
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On Dec 10, 2011 scharleyne wrote :
Thanks for sharing your story .Now i myself can say to the world that i can go passed all the changes around..changes can move myself..or my career into something new and dont be afraid of it because it help me to better person more
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On Dec 10, 2011 jo wrote :
Thank you for sharing, I myself am going through some life changes, I'm planning on moving to a big city to attend a college there. I've always been a small town girl, and I'm feeling a bit axiouse about the change. Whenever I go anywhere I always feel a compulsion to take along with me several books and anything els I can grab at the last minit. I don't konw how I'm going to manage moving to a new place, but this story helped me see change in a different light, thank you.
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On Dec 10, 2011 Sumit wrote :
Thanks for sharing your thought !! "Nothing Lasts Forever" is a bitter truth and also a pleasant relief
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On Dec 9, 2011 Kazi wrote :
Reminded me of the Bob Marley song, "Three Little Birds"..."don't worry about a thing, cause every little thing is gonna be alright..." - it's become easier for me to face many things since I started believing this...Thank you for such a nice piece of writing...
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On Dec 9, 2011 Toni wrote :
WOW...simply beautiful and perfect - thank you:-) - Toni
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On Dec 8, 2011 sachin agarwlla wrote :
In one word problms will come fade away like algebra class.But lessons we will learn will last a lifetime.
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On Dec 8, 2011 ayush agnihotri wrote :
the letter gives a brief reflection of what we face in life................thats true...to gain something we have to loose also......
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On Dec 7, 2011 Dora wrote :
I appreciate your letter its inspiring.
Of the truth,each lose is a blow but also an opportunity.The earlier human beings appreciate this fact the better for them.
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On Dec 7, 2011 Nagaraj wrote :
Hi..
Thank you for the "Letter"...Its simply superb..I'm really inspired by the last couple of lines. Awesome!!
Sometimes We've to loss..,else we can't enjoy the taste of success...
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On Dec 6, 2011 David Doane wrote :
I very much like "Letter to my Grandson." Thank you. I would offer only two comments. One, we lose everything we become attached to and everything we don't become attached to, not almost everything -- that's life. Two, pain is transitional, as you say -- pain like joy is transitional, with another or more pain or joy to follow. There is no painless living. We have choice in how we suffer the pain and in the amount of joy we allow.
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On Dec 6, 2011 Manisha wrote :
This piece comes just in time as I found myself "waiting for the bus" (train) this morning -- along with hundreds of commuters, all in a rush to get to work. Instead of checking my watch to try to calculate how late I'd be, I lowered my eyes to the ground and began to observe myself in waiting. I noticed how my heart started beating a bit faster, my chest subtly tightened with anxiety, and how I became defensive of "my space" so that more physically aggressive people would not push me out of the way. It was a rich learning experience. :) This passage inspires me to continuously observe myself so that I can accept change with balance, grace, and faith. Thank you. :)
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On Dec 6, 2011 Randie wrote :
Thank you, I needed this. I have been struggling with getting older. Looking different everyday, feeling little more pain. I needed this story and this web site. All I do is work and worry and never know how to relax. I love reading stories like this and God. I know Change is difficult, but even when you know it is hard. Bless you for this story.
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On Dec 6, 2011 Debbie wrote :
Thank you, this is very wise and helped me with the change I am currently experiencing in my life. I am living with loss of my parent thru dementia and empty nest with my children. The statement: "Those transitional objects give us the illusion of security. When they are gone, we are left with the insecurity that's been there all along", is exceptionally powerful. I also enjoyed the words "So when you feel the pain of loss, please don't grab at something to take away the pain. Just have faith that pain, like everything else, is transitional."
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On Dec 6, 2011 Noor wrote :
This is a right and wise story. Emations are temporary and bus won't come in anger or in another tpye of feelings but normally its time.
Change is also another job which needs one to come near loss.
whoever wrote must had learned something about life.
Noor
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On Dec 6, 2011 Gail Quarles wrote :
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On Dec 6, 2011 kvakutty wrote :
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On Dec 6, 2011 JPSingh wrote :
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On Dec 5, 2011 Ashok Vaishnav wrote :
The sense of memory is as much a bane as it is boon to the human beings.
As one moves ahead in the life, one has to keep on making one's cup empty enough to keep on receeving.
What we empty out, may be very dear to us, and hence may leave pain of having to leave it.
But, the memory comes a boon here. One can recall such 'dear moments' of the past and can relieve the pains of the present.
The article has so aptly ended on the note that you may have any types of emotions for the event that has happened or happening or is to happen, but that does not make any impact of the evenet as such. So, why not recall Steven Covey's '90:10 Principle' - "You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction."
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On Dec 5, 2011 brinda wrote :
I really liked the analogy of waiting for a bus....this is so true! How we choose to wait makes a big difference.
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On Dec 4, 2011 Thierry wrote :
As adults, with yet a tendancy to resist change as regard to ourselves and others, we are able to see what's implied in the psychological process of attachment. What does it actually mean when we say we are attached to someone? What we are attached to, in reality, is whatever past knowledge we have about that person. So much so that when he or she changes, meaning does'nt behave according to our expectations, we then feel insecure. So the attachment is not to the person for it's own sake but to the past and to the inner comfort we derive from thinking we 'know' that person. 'Detachment', when it occurs, is only towards this persistent seeking for inner comfort and security in relationship. As we grow aware of this compulsion we are more likely to allow space for ourselves and others to change. We gain inner space and others too, by the same token.
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On Dec 3, 2011 Conrad wrote :
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On Dec 3, 2011 susan schaller wrote :
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On Dec 3, 2011 Edit Lak wrote :
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On Dec 2, 2011 Nita wrote :
Beautiful! As a mother of two teenagers who struggles everyday with wondering if I am being the best mother I can be, this was particularly useful. Thanks.