Sympathy, Empathy And Compassion

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Hand-drawn art by Rupali Bhuva
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Solidaridad, empatía y compasión
--por Jay Litvin

Lástima, solidaridad, empatía, compasión. Cada una es recibida en distintos momentos por alguien en apuros. Son las respuestas engendradas por nuestras desgracias en aquell@s con quienes nos encontramos. Y cada un@ se siente diferente cuando las recibe. Cada una tiene un efecto diferente en quienes sufren en medio de una crisis psíquica o física.

De las cuatro, la compasión tiene una cualidad única, una cualidad tan diferente del resto que connota una cierta característica tanto espiritual como emocional. Quizás por esta razón se cita a menudo en los textos espirituales/religiosos como una virtud que debe buscarse y desarrollarse.

Quien recibe compasión siente su superioridad inmediatamente. A diferencia de la lástima, no tiene condescendencia. A diferencia de la empatía, no requiere una experiencia similar pasada o presente por parte de quien la da. Y si bien la solidaridad es una virtud maravillosa, connota menos espontaneidad y variedad que la compasión; normalmente no se asociaría la risa o la frivolidad con la solidaridad, por ejemplo. Y también hay una cierta distancia o separación inherente a la solidaridad, un@ es solidari@ con el/la otr@. Aunque es una cualidad maravillosa, la solidaridad se encuentra en un nivel diferente al de la compasión.

Si bien la solidaridad es una tierna respuesta a la desgracia o la dificultad, la compasión es una forma de vida.
El diccionario ofrece la siguiente raíz para compasión: Com (con) - pati (sufrir), sufrir con.

Pero hay otra definición, una que no limita la compasión como una respuesta al sufrimiento, sino a la vida misma, convirtiéndola en una cualidad con la que un@ podría vivir en cada situación, con cada persona, en lugar de solo con alguien que está en apuros. .
Compasión: Com (con) - pasión (sentimiento fuerte, entusiasmo); estar con otro con sentimiento fuerte y con entusiasmo.

La compasión, entonces, no requiere tristeza, pena o incluso el deseo de ayudar, aunque podría incluir todas estas cosas. Simplemente significa estar completamente presente con alguien sin importar las circunstancias de su vida. La compasión suspende el juicio y toma cada circunstancia por igual: cada una como un momento de la vida que debe vivirse en su plenitud. Todas las posibles emociones, sentimientos y comportamientos de los que somos capaces son inherentes a cada momento, a cada circunstancia.

Así, la compasión surge sin ideas preconcebidas. No tiene actitudes. No tiene cara ni tono de voz especial. No está sujeta a reglas de conducta, decoro o expectativas, aunque puede guiarse por todas estas cosas.

La compasión está preparada para encontrarse con l@s otr@s dondequiera que estén, reconociendo que la circunstancia o el desafío que ahora enfrentan es una parte tan importante de su vida como cualquier otra parte de su vida. La compasión puede reír o llorar, bromear o compadecerse, ser curiosa e inquisitiva, conversadora o silenciosa. La compasión no tiene miedo de estar plenamente presente, tener esperanza o ser alegre. La compasión no se aleja. Nunca tiene miedo de ver la belleza, encontrar el humor o compartir un corazón fracturado.

Preguntas semilla para la reflexión: ¿Cómo te relacionas con la noción de que la compasión no requiere tristeza, pena o incluso el deseo de ayudar? ¿Puedes compartir una historia personal de alguna vez en la que experimentaste la compasión como un momento de la vida que debía vivirse en su plenitud? ¿Qué te ayuda a crecer en la compasión como forma de vida?


Jay Litvin sirvió como enlace médico para el programa Niños de Chernobyl de Jabad y también fundó y dirigió el programa Víctimas del Terrorismo de Jabad en Israel.
Seed Questions for Reflection

How do you relate to the notion that compassion does not require sadness, sorrow, or even the desire to help? Can you share a personal story of a time you experienced compassion as a moment of life to be lived in its fullness? What helps you grow in compassion as a way of life?

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Add Your Reflection

15 Past Reflections
LS
Nov 26, 2023
My son who chose to live in Colorado as soon as he graduated from High School in Santa Cruz came home for Thanksgiving and showed compassion for his brother's lack of money or time and helped repair our home then went back to Colorado where he lives and works as a contractor rebuilding other peoples homes.
LS
Nov 26, 2023
It sounds wise and helpful, but there are some issues for me. I don't want to keep listening to the same level of complete breakdown with someone I've known now most of a year, who lost a son to police brutality, and breaks apart daily. She can't hear a child cry without falling apart and wanting to run over to soothe the tantrumming infant. She is tantrumming herself. She feels totally broken, as she says. I can't give her what she needs. So I go walking with her in the forest, and let the trees heal her. We go to hear music, so the music can soothe and inspire. I frankly don't have the desire to listen to her anguish, over and over and over again. I feel I need protection from her constant pain. We are having her over for dinner, so that at least there will be two of us to hold space and be present.
Jan 18, 2024
Maybe it's time for some truth. Your friend might not realize how repetitive she has become, and how such negativity helps no one. There are cruel losses in life, but life must go forward with an abiding sense of hope that better times will come. To become so mired in your own grief that you can think of nothing else benefits no one. Honoring a loved one's memory with kindness toward others is restorative. What was it that the lost one would have desired in his life? Figure that out, then help someone else's aspirations come true in honor of the beloved son who was denied the chance to achieve his goals. Just some thoughts that might help your friend go on with the life in a positive manner, rather than drown herself in a sea of grief.
HA
Nov 22, 2023
Compassion is the highest form of intelligence--an intelligence that sees life as something that is homogeneous whole, based on the oneness of life. Compassion is a state of consciousness that throbs at the same wavelength as the consciousness of humanity. A thinker defined 'compassion' as passion for ALL. This 'all' is all inclusive--those who are suffering as well as those who are rejoicing and celebrating.
AP
Nov 22, 2023
Compassion is indeed unique because it "COMES out of PASSION" which reflects our true self.
SH
Nov 21, 2023
Am reminded of a quote " When your fear touches someone's pain, it becomes pity, when your love touches someone's pain, it become compassion. Stephen Levine
Pity, sympathy and empathy are all touching on other's pain. Sometimes we do this for ourselves and the question of "Why me " . or " how life can be so cruel " , "what do I do wrong " arise and trouble us more than the actual pain /sorrow being felt.
We suffer, other's suffer too. Seeing it with love and as a larger game plan , makes us more compassionate towards others as well as ourselves.
So true , when the author says Compassion is not a response to sorrow or suffering but can be practiced as a way of life.
LS
Laura Stewart Nov 26, 2023
"We suffer, other's suffer too. Seeing it with love and as a larger game plan , makes us more compassionate towards others as well as ourselves." "as a larger game plane..." This rings so true. That gives me room in the midst of a suffocating and grief-ridden presence.

JH
Jinet Hamlin
Nov 21, 2023
Compassion generates heartwarming feeling in the people who receive it. While empathy is the ability to feel the joy and pain of others fully
SW
Sandy Weiner
Nov 20, 2023
This questions comes at an interesting moment, I am just finishing up motion to my board for fundraising campaign for food gardens in Sri Lanka. By western standards, it is not a large amount of money, about 700 to 1000 USD per garden, yet the impact is vast for the several hundred people who will benefit from each food and fruit garden. A year ago, I found myself totally overwhelmed by the change in the economy that seemed to happen overnight in Sri Lanka. My heart broke ands sense of empathy took a deep hold on my heart. I felt so deeply for these people who were faced with food prices that were as much as 10 times higher than they were a few months earlier, the quickly deteriorating overall economic and health situation. While we at InMetta have been helping to provide emergency aid during COVID for what we had hoped was a temporary emergency aid situation, it has become clear that this is one that needs a fundamental cultural change and immediate local action. So we have start... View full comment
DD
David Doane Nov 21, 2023
Congratulations to you and your board for what you are doing, and wishing you all further success that is a help to many.
JP
Nov 17, 2023
According to my understanding of empathy, sympathy, and compassion, they all are threads of the texture of spirituality. I do not think of these spiritual qualities in my mind but feel them in my heart and manifest them in my daily life. There are two aspects of these qualities:self and other. Two sides of the same coin. Self-care, self -empathy, self -sympathy and self-compassion and empathizing, sympathizing and feeling compassion for others. I cannot give others what I don't have within myself. As Thich Nhat Hanh says, " Loving oneself is the foundation of loving others." Others regardless of caste, color, race, gender and religion. These spiritual qualities are like seeds in the soil of consciousness. They need to be cultivated and nurtured. When I am that state of consciousness I feel uplifted, enriched, and fulfilled. Being alert and aware of my thoughts, feelings, emotions and actions helps me to walk on this spiritual path. It is a blessing. May we all cultivate and nouri... View full comment
DD
Nov 17, 2023
I believe responses are engendered by the person experiencing them. I agree that compassion doesn't require sadness or sorrow. I do think compassion includes the desire to help. For me, compassion is joining with the other in their suffering their burden, or at least being with and feeling with the other in their suffering their burden, so compassion does include wanting to help. I have had times of experiencing a great deal of compassion that I think could have been moments of life lived in its fullness -- I have experienced a good deal of fullness during such moments but not life lived in its fullness during such moments -- perhaps I don't have enough compassion or enough letting myself feel total fullness. What helps me grow in compassion as a way of life is my believing that we are one and we have the same burdens, so in sharing in others' suffering, others share in mine, and in such being together we are making it all a little more bearable for all.
AM
Amy Nov 25, 2023
Amen!
ST
Nov 16, 2023
For me, being passionate about truly being With others does require that I grieve and give of my self and my heart while also maintaining my self care. My mantra: More me , that's not mine, keeps me centered and able to daily move toward my mission: " I co-create a community that is safe, sustainable, , joyful and growing by being honest and following my bliss. Intimacy and caring bring me joy. I am involved with giving support to a friend with increasing memory loss and becoming her " power of attorney" for health and financial decisions. Being patient and listening is time consuming and has led to a labyrinth of challenges with other personalities and bureaucracy. This slow process with others questioning my motives is not my idea of fun but the deepening of our caring and love for each other in the process has "fullness" .
SH
Nov 16, 2023
I think sympathy, empathy or compassion can be received with equal regard by the receiver. I think all three reflect some positive caring feeling toward a person. How one expresses sympathy, empathy or compassion may also differ ..... but main difference to me lies in the consciousness of the person ministering to another---i.e., perceiving a qualitatively different relation to another human being, all three are good and valid and it just depends on eho snd where the person happens to be.