Compulsion To Closure

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Hand-drawn art by Rupali Bhuva
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Compulsión al cierre

--por Joan Tollifson







En algún lugar recientemente, escuché o leí la frase "compulsión al cierre". No puedo recordar cómo la usó quien la dijo, pero se siente como una gran descripción de nuestra dificultad humana para tolerar lo irresoluble y la incertidumbre, y nuestro deseo compulsivo de precisar las cosas, agarrar, asegurar un punto de apoyo, clavar la respuesta correcta, descifrarlo todo y conocer La Verdad Final con indudable certeza. Esta compulsión tiene beneficios de supervivencia obvios en asuntos prácticos, pero cuando se traslada a otros ámbitos, fácilmente se convierte en un problema.



Esta compulsión por llegar a la Verdad Final es, por supuesto, frustrada una y otra vez por la vida misma, que simplemente no parece quedarse en ninguna de las cajitas limpias y ordenadas en las que tratamos de ponerla. Y así, mientras estemos tratando de encontrar este tipo de certeza, está prácticamente garantizado que la incertidumbre y la duda siempre nos pisarán los talones.



Ese mordisco produce una especie de ansiedad en nosotros, una inquietud, que nos predispone a ser atraídos fácilmente por personas y sistemas que ofrecen respuestas aparentemente completas que explican cómo funciona el universo y que nos prometen el tipo de seguridad y certeza que anhelamos Pero para much@s de nosotr@s, estas respuestas nunca nos satisfacen realmente. Y, paradójicamente, cuando dejamos de buscar la certeza y nos enfocamos en la inmediatez de la experiencia presente, sin tratar de captarla o comprenderla, esta ansiedad se desvanece. En realidad, no necesitamos ninguna Verdad Final. [...]



Mi amiga y profesora Toni Packer siempre recalcaba que ella no era una autoridad, que todo lo que decía podía ser cuestionado o llevado más allá, que debíamos comprobarlo por nosotr@s mism@s. Siempre estaba dispuesta a mirar una pregunta como nueva, a empezar desde cero. Estaba abierta a ver algo nuevo, a cambiar de opinión. Era como una científica en su enfoque, pero también era religiosa en el sentido de que su exploración no era del tipo objetivo (dualista, sujeto/objeto) en el que se involucra la ciencia, sino que era una exploración subjetiva no dual (contemplativa, meditativa). exploración de nuestra experiencia de primera mano.



Esta realidad viviente nunca puede ser fijada o captada. Se está moviendo y cambiando, nunca de la misma manera, ni por un instante. Y, sin embargo, en otro sentido, siempre es inamovible aquí, ahora mismo en esta inmediatez o presencia siempre presente que nunca podemos abandonar. Este momento sin fondo es infinito y eterno, sin principio ni fin, sin bordes ni límites. No tiene interior ni exterior. Es indiviso e indivisible. Hay diversidad y variación infinitas y, sin embargo, todo aparece como un todo perfecto. Hay polaridades aparentes, pero solo aparecen en relación entre sí, y en realidad nunca pueden separarse.



La realidad es sencilla. Está justo aquí. Experimentar el presente, tal como es. La brisa de la mañana, ESTA taza de té, mi amado perro trotando hacia mí, las hojas verdes, las flores floreciendo, las galaxias muriendo y naciendo a millones de años luz de distancia: todo este increíble espectáculo mágico. Y, sin embargo, nunca podemos realmente precisarla, apoderarnos de ella o explicarla de una manera definitiva. Nosotros SOMOS ella. Este acontecimiento presente indivisible es a la vez obvio e inconcebible. Nunca se resuelve en una forma final, nunca se aparta de esta inmediatez presente y nunca estamos separados de ella.



Entonces, ¿es posible estar bien con no tener ninguna Verdad Final? ¿Podemos vivir con la apertura del no saber, de la falta de fundamento? ¿Podemos estar en casa con la ausencia de cierre y con la fluidez y multiplicidad de dimensiones en las que la vida se presenta momento a momento? En realidad, no tenemos otra opción. Pero al no resistirse a esto, puede resultar placentero y milagroso, incluso cuando aparentemente no lo es.



Preguntas semilla para la reflexión: ¿Qué significa para ti estar en casa con la ausencia de cierre? ¿Puedes compartir una historia personal de un momento en que pudiste superar la compulsión de obtener un cierre? ¿Qué te ayuda a dejar de buscar la certeza y centrarte en cambio en la inmediatez de la experiencia presente?



Extraído del boletín de Joan Tollifson. Es autora de Nothing to Grasp, Painting the Sidewalk with Water, Awake in the Heartland y Bare-Bones Meditation. Tollifson escribe y habla con la gente sobre la realidad viva aquí y ahora. Tiene afinidad tanto con el budismo como con el Advaita Vedanta (del hinduismo), pero no pertenece a ninguna tradición formal.
Seed Questions for Reflection

What does being at home with the absence of closure mean to you? Can you share a personal story of a time you were able to overcome the compulsion to obtain closure? What helps you stop searching for certainty and focus instead on the immediacy of present experiencing?

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13 Past Reflections
BN
Aug 26, 2023
This is so true. I have been reading on philosophy & different concepts for 25 years +. I always got this sense on certain days that - VOILA! This was the truth and then it just vanishes. It's difficult to explain. But it was always fleeting & felt something was missing.
Just few days going thru a tussle - I just said. Let Go!!! Just Go With the Flow. What's the max can happen to you. Death. That's fine. Acceptance is not about setting expectations or not having any expectations. It's just be live in the moment. All philosophies come down to that. It's very simple. But so difficult to implement (at least for me). I am writing this today and tomorrow I might be in the rabbit hole of worry and despair. So be it. But let me not worry and enjoy this moment of bliss & awareness :)
AD
ade
Aug 13, 2023
This "Compulsion to Closure" rings so true and sounds like a "reflection" that has been present in my life for ever. The challenge has been living in a world that wants all the answers, and being the seemingly orange elephant in the room; knowing that acceptance of the now is really all we have (to live with less anxiety). Thank you.
DI
Diana
Aug 8, 2023
Reading this was refreshing. Like REFRESH on the computer. Like starting over. Like BRAND NEW. Thank you, Joan!
BS
Bayon Simmons
Aug 8, 2023
The closure is in the present moment. In the breathe, noticing the relief of the present moment. Coming down into the body. Noticing what's here. Giving gratitude. Accepting that nothing needs to change.. The miracle of that. The newness of that. The revolutionary act of that. Over and over again. The Great Love is always here.
SP
Aug 8, 2023
Physicist Richard Feynman had said, ( being asked about the origin of the universe) “ There are many questions that we don’t know the answer of and I am ok with it “. Accepting and saying out loud , “ I don’t know” is the first step towards knowledge. It opens the vast vistas of possibilities. That’s where the wisdom and knowledge creeps in
A
a Aug 12, 2023
Amen!
AP
Aug 7, 2023
In the depth of scientific exploration too we reach and rest at "Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle".
Truth accompanied with Happiness lies in our capability to search for ever.
In fact uncertainty is a great gift to help us seek, without any closure.
ST
Aug 6, 2023
Ahhhh! my life experiences have shown me that there is no absolute truth so I have no compulsion to find it. What is true is what works. I choose to create my experience.And a lot of my most wonderful experiences have come out of being lost. Every time I go into the darkness I emerge with a hand and heart full of jewels.
Bismillah Erachman Erahim, I begin in the great mysterious oneness that is filled with mercy and compassion.
DD
Aug 5, 2023
Being at home with the absence of closure is sometimes difficult and when I am at home with it, I am peaceful. For me, many situations and interactions weren't closed or finished. When I've overcome a compulsion for closure it's been by letting go of it, or accepting that I would not accomplish closure, or by realizing that my compulsion for closure (like any compulsion) isn't good for me, or by distracting myself from the compulsion, or by realizing what I really wanted wasn't closure but was to one up the other or retaliate or get in the last word. What helps me stop searching for certainty and focus instead on present experiencing is knowing there is no certainty, becoming good at living with uncertainty and insecurity, realizing that for me seeking certainty doesn't have benefits, and knowing there is only the present.
JP
Aug 4, 2023
This passage authored by Joan Tollison reminds me a simple song I used to listen and sing. It is written in my native lnguage Gujarati. "Na mage dodatun away." Do nut run aftrer you crave for. It will come on its own." There is deep truth and wisdom in this simple saying. How much energy and time we spend to see what is in our hand and looking for it somewhere else. What I am searching for is right here and now. Truth, Joy, Loving Kindness, Fulfillment and Peace abide right within me.
It is my coviction based on my personal experience that we do not need to look for getting blessings of life outside of us. They are born in unconditional love and selfless service and they thrive for ever. We do not need to look for it outside of ourselves. They dwell within us.
Awareness of what is helping me to remain awake and practicing mindfulness meditaion regularly help me to walk on the path.
Namste!
Jagdish P Dave

WI
Aug 4, 2023
I must say one thing , truth is sometimes found when you least expect it and laughed at by the humble who find it
WI
Aug 4, 2023
this is interesting and I need to add who knows how to sum it all up the mystery of existence and experience it all
FD
Aug 4, 2023
"Reality is simple. It is right here. Present experiencing, just as it is. " Its pretty much all there is but of course we all want more :-). In that distraction I have found I get less - for example I cant remember where I left my car keys and then the frustration and self recrimination rituals kick in. Its all amusing after a while, however :-)