Relationships Make You Conscious, Not Happy

Tolle explanation are easy to understand.  

 Relationship is the only thing that keeps you live.
Life is full of problems, full of miseries, failures and dissatisfaction. There are times when you find your self so lonely that nothing can take you out other than a sweet relation. The only this that matters in life for which you do every thing is your relationship. You create an empire of leave the world for eternity it is only for the sake of relationship. There is nothing more charming, soothing beautiful, fragrant than a relationship.  

 This has so resonated with me.  I figured out early in my marriage that it is not my job to make my husband happy -- that's his job.  After a few years, I realized that it was also not his job to make me happy, that's MY job.  I have grown so much in our relationship, not because he makes me happy, but because he can stoke every unconscious and unresolved issue in every dark corner of my being.  Today, I am grateful and in love with my husband for helping with my growth which has released me to deeper connect with spirit, love of self and others and a rich life.  The journey was not easy as I had to grieve the relationship I thought I wanted with him and trust that something better was ahead.

For 14 years I held back my reactions to all manner of anger fueled abuse from a partner (then an ex-partner) who marched to the drum of his inner demons. I raised our son, mostly alone, with a commitment to my value that a child have respect and love for his father. This practice changed me and my life in more ways than I can count. Now my only prayers are that the grown son and father find their own healthy equation in their relationship, and may the father's inner drum find a peaceful enough rhythm. I am blessed to have sufficient clarity on living for what I value. 

 When you live in a relationship which is non-receptive, long enough...you eventually grow non reactive and be conscious, for this natural process of knowing although you do pay a heavy price of living in a dead relationship.

When love is less, challenges are more. It takes a momentary thought to create an issue but a lifetime to overcome. We are using more head (logic), which creates difficulty to love or surrender. 

Acceptance becomes automatic and differences non-existent, in moments when there is pure love.
'Bhakti' seems to be the most beautiful practice of divine love, one can experience & offer. 

I appreciate the gentle wisdom of this article.  I believe that we do wake up, become more conscious, through relationship, which results in happiness from within.  We are related, and in relationship we have the ongoing opportunity to transform.  I used to be more angry, negative, defensive, critical than I am now, and my being in relationship with my wife who is positive, accepting, patient, encouraging has very much helped me become more aware of how I was and become more soft, less angry, more positive, and more kind.  I was held in loving embrace, and my becoming more conscious and growing occurred and is occurring over many years -- I'm a slow learner.  Knowing what happens for me, remembering that I can learn and change, helps me to grow in awareness and helps me to be more compassionate toward myself, and knowing that others are (like) me I am also more compassionate with others.

Personal relationships are the real "labs" of growth - where the talk meets the walk. And if we are able to remove the criteria of "happiness" that is so deeply embedded in an 'ideal' relationships, there is a sense of relief.

Indeed, no better place to discover ourselves than in relationship with one another, as well as in our relationship with ourselves :)