Awakin Readings

Eulogy Versus Resume Virtues

David Brooks
  3 min read ·   21 reflections
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Image of the Week
VIRTUDES DE ELOGIO VS VIRTUDES DE CURRICULUM
--por David Brooks (May 25, 2015)

Como una vez al mes me cruzo con una persona que irradia su luz interior. Esta gente puede ser de cualquier estamento social. Parecen profundamente buenas. Escuchan bien. Te hacen sentir divertido y apreciado. A menudo les ves cuidando a otra persona y lo hacen con una risa musical y llenos de gratitud. No están pensando en el maravilloso trabajo que están haciendo. No están pensando en ellos mismos en absoluto.
Cuando me encuentro con esta gente alumbran mi día por entero. Pero confieso que a menudo tengo un pensamiento más triste: Resulta que he adquirido un nivel decente de éxitos en mi carrera, pero no he logrado eso. No he conseguido esa generosidad de espíritu, ni esa profundidad de carácter.

Hace unos años, me di cuenta de que quería ser un poco más como esa gente. Me di cuenta de que si quería hacer eso iba a tener que trabajar más duro para salvar mi propia alma. Iba a tener que pasar por el tipo de aventuras morales que producen esa clase de bondad. Iba a tener que ser mejor en lo que a equilibrar mi vida se refiere.

Se me ocurrió que había dos tipos de virtudes, las de Curriculum y las de elogio. Pero nuestros sistemas educativos y culturales dedican más tiempo a enseñar las habilidades y estrategias que necesitamos para el éxito en nuestras carreras que las cualidades que necesitamos para radiar ese tipo de luz interior. Muchos de nosotros tenemos más claro cómo construir una carrera externa que cómo construir nuestro carácter interior.

Pero si vives para tener logros externos, ser pasan los años y las partes más profundas de ti continúan estando inexploradas y desestructuradas. Te falta el vocabulario moral. Es fácil acomodarse en la mediocridad moral auto-satisfecha. Te calificas a ti mismo de manera indulgente. Das por sentado que siempre y cuando no hagas daño de forma obvia a nadie y parezca que gustas a la gente, tienes que estar bien. Pero vives con un aburrimiento inconsciente, separado del significado más profundo de la vida y del júbilo moral más grande. Gradualmente, un espacio humillante se abre entre tu yo real y tu yo deseado, entre tú y esas almas incandescentes que a veces te encuentras.

David Brooks es un columnist del NY Times. El pasaje de arriba pertenece a su artículo The Moral Bucket List (Cosas morales que hacer antes de morir)
David Brooks is a columnist from NY Times. The above excerpt is from his article The Moral Bucket List.
Seed Questions for Reflection

How do you relate to the distinction between eulogy and resume virtues? Can you share a personal story of a time you became aware of this distinction in your own life? What practice helps you develop eulogy virtues?

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Add Your Reflection

21 Past Reflections
DI
Diana
Sep 25, 2025
I left a food pantry where I volunteered today & was conversing with woman approximately my age about trying live on retirement while helping others with a government destroying our democracy
We both (white approximately 62-65 yr old women) said we in general “hate white men”
3 African Americans 2 young women 1 older male walking by started lol upon hearing us

We went on to elaborate that we meant those in government & maga (uninformed) & how especially UN speech by 👿🤡🍊put us into a rage due to embarrassment of his rambling incoherent crazy words spewed & everyday it gets worse

How much more can human empathic person take

I don’t need to achieve in work because Im retired
I need to save our democracy for others
United States has become an Embarrassment
SA
Santosh
Mar 31, 2024
In my native language, there was a saint he said "Marave pari kirti rupe urave" roughly translated as "You may die, but you must continue to live through your deeds/legacy that you left".

It also emphasizes eulogy ethics.
DO
DouglasGroothuis
Jan 9, 2024
They overlap.
JU
Juvairiya
Oct 29, 2023
Eulogy virtues involve acting selflessly without expecting anything in return, while resume virtues are about showcasing oneself for self-satisfaction. When I was in the 11th grade, during a school holiday break, I encountered a situation that highlighted this distinction. While waiting for the bus, I found a lost golden earring that belonged to someone in the 12th grade. Uncertain about what to do, I returned to school to seek help from a friend. However, she couldn't accompany me as it was getting late and she had to go home.I left my heavy bag at the bus stop, securely handed the earring to one of my teachers, and reported it as a lost item. I never discovered the owner of the earring, but I was aware that the person in the 12th grade who had lost it must have been worried. This experience reinforced the importance of eulogy virtues and the significance of practicing kindness and selfless actions to make others feel better.
LA
Lory Alido
Apr 9, 2023
Wonderful to hear this conversation about self reflections, morals and goals! The author poses beautiful questions and makes honest observations about the shaping of our moral character and norms! Love that I am inspired to find explore ways to deepen my own character as well as find ways to help propel my children and their friends along this path- thank you
PS
Paul Stumb, Cumberland University
Oct 9, 2022
We were fortunate to have Tim Tebow on our campus yesterday, and he echoed David Brooks sentiments in his remarks to our students, for he like David has achieved many resume accomplishments, but also many eulogy virtues!
DO
Don
Jun 4, 2020
Caring, really caring about family and friends, even a penpal friend on death row. About a caring church built by a white couple for black teenagers. The kids want to get their driver’s license, and have no cars at home or parents with no time to teach them how to drive.
HC
Harold Carlson May 18, 2022
This was a most beneficial article. I was very intrigued when I came across the name David Caldwell. I worked with a David Caldwell at the Chief of Army Chaplain’s Office in 2000 and wondered if this was the same man. Now to the article…, I have some accolades that I could post here but I’m not going to because what you have said resonates so deeply that it makes me want to kneel down and look every child I see in the eye and let that child know how much he/she is valued. It makes me want to go to nursing homes and sit beside people in their golden years and hold their hand or play a short game of some card game that they can barely remember how to play. It makes me want to think about losing interest in myself and gaining interest in others and in the world in which they live. You did a masterful job my friend, thank you!
DL
David L Caldwell
Dec 10, 2019
Awesome article. We all must strive to have balance in our lives, and operate in integrity. I've recently arrive to the fact there is no such thing as good or bad people; there is simply people. Because the best of us have some bad in us and the worst of us have some good in us. The practice that helps me develop eulogy virtues is humility and remembering I'm not the judge and the God of this universe judges and loves us all.
CB
Craig Bell
Jul 7, 2015

 Deciding what it is important evolves  through a lifetime. I am fortunate to celebrate 77 years and a few years back, I realized that gratitude needed to be my new attitude. It wasn't necessary to find that niche that would lead to glory in this world, but to find ways to improve the lives of others, if possible.... as I realized many in my life had contributed to my own growth. Serving others is what life can be about.

JE
jerard
Jun 28, 2015

 For me both of the two are building virtues, the only  distinction between the two is that eulogy is  a virtue we build prior to the day we leave the world and such virtue will continue to work in hand, while the resume is a virtue we build to be equipped  in the present.

When we prepare a resume, we ensure all the details therein speaks about our technical ability to compete in the market while a preparation for eulogy is at large character of what we build although our life for the sake of a good legacy that will work in hand as we leave the world.
To deepen the eulogy virtue, I always end up a day with a good realization for the good and bad times, but still looking at the brighter side of everything and being thankful for the blessings left in hand. That, the best virtue is accepting things happen according to God’s will.
SU
Sunila
May 27, 2015

What a beautiful realization of the ultimate truth of living an impeccable life- that we all can have a meaningful satisfied joyous life when we find our truth and honor our authentic self and that we are being ourselves in every step. This article is a gem :)

You figure as long as you are not obviously hurting anybody and people seem to like you, you must be O.K. - See more at: http://www.awakin.org/read/view.php?tid=1083#comments
You figure as long as you are not obviously hurting anybody and people seem to like you, you must be O.K. - See more at: http://www.awakin.org/read/view.php?tid=1083#comments
LM
LM
May 26, 2015
As someone at a real crossroads, this resonated deeply with me. I think that it is necessary to develop both kinds of virtues. However, I think the naming of these virtues should probably be head virtues (resume virtues) and heart virtues (eulogy virtues). The resume virtues help build a capability to perform the actions that the eulogy virtues call upon us to take up. Therefore, I believe that ideally, the 'leaders' are the eulogy virtues and the 'followers' are the resume virtues. I agree with David Brooks that reversing this order is what is happening in the world today, myself included. But I also agree that if we can align both of these, it would be ideal. But our current thinking (individual and collective) is not yet geared towards this. I also feel that naming certain virtues as eulogy virtues takes away, perhaps, from their importance, because we are not present during our eulogies. However, when we are practicing our eulogy virtues, I believe that our hearts get more connect... View full comment
PA
Padma
May 26, 2015

 Beautiful writing to reflect upon. One thing I have realized that when I meet such joyful souls fully rooted into the present, there is definitely desire to be like them. But the desire to be like somebody else can be a dangerous thing as it can go into negative cycle of thoughts of I am not good enough, not present enough and the thoughts keep going on....The thing that helps is having the inner awareness and getting in touch with the "deeper Self" which is present in everyone. There are lot of instances when I loose the touch with this "self" these are the times that become entangled in the external things and situations, then bringing the awareness back to the "being" level helps me stay centered without being sucked into the negativity. Deepening this awareness can help us to be like those joyful , ever present ,radiant souls.

BR
brett
May 26, 2015

Being, then doing - not the other way around.

TR
Tree
May 26, 2015

 My biggest growth has been by my own hard times....facing them, learning from them & THEN having the empathy for others in trying times & being able to truly have the empathy & also the knowledge to share things that help them & I SEE their spirits lift & their eyes glow & I know I am serving my purpose!

SU
Sunil,Bangalore
May 26, 2015

To me Eulogy and Resume is a question of what you do between the short gap of life & death.Its all about soul connections made during this gap.Personally I can tell you this happens only when you manifest the latent harmony,friendship, forgiveness & the eternal love..................bypassing everything else, all the negativity.What ultimately matters is human relationships and not right or wrong. Cultivating this habit as our culture , daily routine  with mindfulness consciously is indeed  experiencing the beauty, fulfillment and amazement of life.

DD
david doane
May 25, 2015
I appreciate the distinction between eulogy and resume virtues that David Brooks points out, and his honesty in talking about himself.  I have been aware of the distinction, but not in the terms that he states so clearly.  I certainly think he's right.  Resume virtues are the skills I bring to the marketplace, and eulogy virtues are the ones talked about after I die.  I suppose both types are exaggerated for the occasion.  Maya Angelou said "people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."  I think eulogy virtues are what Maya Angelou is referring to by how you make people feel.  As Brooks says, resume virtues are about career success, and eulogy virtues are about your inner light and inner character, including qualities like kindness, honesty with self and with others, maturity, and capacity to love.  Henry James said, "Three things in human life are important: the first is... View full comment
SH
sheetal
May 22, 2015

Rightly said Eulogy virtues are only spoken at the time of funeral. The hard truth of the world is that resume virtues are the ones that are celebrated. Sometimes it has been noticed that even spiritual gurus are inclined to support those devotees whose resume virtues are high. The distinction hence stands out clearly and though we would wish to nurture our eulogy virtues sometimes practical reality does tilt it otherwise. The practice one follows is to find a balance between the two and hold on to what helps in living with inner truth of being.

JP
Jagdish P Dave
May 22, 2015
 David Brooks talks about me and many friends I know deeply.People may not remember me for what I did or said. They remember me and will remember me by how I made them feel, how I got connected with them in my heart. We are so much used to use the head language and the mind language, useful and necessary but not enough. When I listen and relate to me and others with an open heart and open mind, I feel the deep connectedness, intimacy and oneness. Such experiences create and leave deep traces in my brain, in my mind, in my heart and  in my soul. As I am getting older ( 90 plus), I am getting richer in my heart and my relationships with people of all ages regardless of the outer shapes and colors are getting more lively, energizing, joyful and meaningful. When I was in India, I went to to an exposition. The theme was  The Family of Man. When I entered the hall, I read a poem written by the American poet Carl Sandburg. I still remember the words. They deeply resonate with ... View full comment
MC
mona costa mauri Mar 14, 2022
I try to not vilify or cancel people that I don't agree with or understand. I see the opposite all around me and it makes me feel sad for humanity. To witness the destruction of people's lives because they dare to think differently is troubling. To see celebrities and other famous people brought down for their sins and then canceled. It is cruel to make them feel that redemption or vindication is not available to them. We all make mistakes but we know in our hearts that the mistakes we made are in the past and we should be judged on who we are now. We can't rewrite history but we can change who we are and become better people. The culture we live in now is not something I want to be part of but I have no choice. It is not a place that is comforting to all. It is not nourishing our spirits. It is not uplifting. It is Cancel Culture which is no culture.