Micro Moments of Love, by Barbara Frederickson

प्रेम के सूक्ष्म क्षण
- बारबरा फ्रेदेरिकक्सों

समय आ गया है के हम प्रेम के प्रति हमारे नज़रिए को और उन्नत बनाएं। सबसे पहले प्रेम एक भावना है, एक क्षणिक स्तिथि जो हमारे मन और शारीर दोनों पे असर करती है। प्रेम, और भावनाओं की तरह एक विशिष्ठ और तेज़ी से बदलते मौसम की तरह उभरता है, एक सूक्ष्म और सदा-बदलते रहते बल की तरह। सभी सकारात्मक भावनाओं की तरह प्रेम आपको जो आतंरिक अनुभूति देता है वह नितांत स्वाभाविक, कोमल और अत्यंत सुखद होती है - असाधारण तृप्ति का अनुभव होता है - ठीक वैसे ही जैसे - जेठ की दोपहर में एक ठन्डे पानी का प्याला आपको तृप्त करता है। और अच्छा लगने से कहीं आगे, प्रेम का एक सूक्ष्म क्षण आपके मन को सचमुच बदलता है। वह आपकी अपने और अपने आस-पास के परिवेश के प्रति सजगता को और गहरी बनता है। आप जो हैं और आप जो नहीं हैं उसके बीच की सीमा - जो आपकी त्वचा के परे है - आराम करें और अपने आपको और पारगम्य (permeable) होने दें। प्रेम में रहते हुए आप अपने और दूसरों के बीच अंतर कम होते देखते हैं। आपकी दूसरों को देखने की क्षमता - वास्तविकता से देखने की, पुरे दिल से - खिल जाती है। प्रेम आपको एकता और सम्बन्ध की स्पर्शनीय ( palpable ) समझ प्रदान कर सकता है, एक उन्नति प्रदान करता है जिससे आप अपने आपको अपने से कहीं बड़े अस्तित्व का हिस्सा महसूस करते हैं।

प्रेम, और भावनाओं की तरह एक विशिष्ठ और तेज़ी से बदलते मौसम की तरह उभरता है, एक सूक्ष्म और सदा-बदलते रहते बल की तरह। और प्रेम के बारे में नयी समझ जो मै आप से बांटना चाहती हूँ वह यह है के - लगभग किसी भी समय जब दो या ज्यादा लोग - चाहे वे अजनबी ही क्यूँ न हों - किसी साझा सकारात्मक भावना से मिलते हैं तब प्रेम खिलता है।

संभव है, अगर आप पश्चिमी संस्कृति में पले-बढ़े हैं, तो आप भावनाओं को मोटे तौर पे एक निजी घटना समझते हैं। आप उन्हें एक व्यक्ति की सीमाओं में ही देखते हैं, उनकी त्वचा और मन से सीमित। भावनाओं के बारे में बात करते समय, एकवचन अधिकारात्मक विशेषणों का उपयोग आपका यह दृष्टिकोण दर्शाता है। आप ' मेरी चिंता ', ' उनका गुस्सा ' या ' उनकी रूचि ' जैसे उल्लेख करते हैं। इस तर्क से तो प्रेम सिर्फ उसीका लगता है जो उसे महसूस कर सकता है। प्रेम को सकारात्मक अनुनाद ( positivity resonance ) की व्याख्या देना इस मत को चुनौती देता है। प्रेम लोगों के बीच और उनमें प्रकट होता है और गूंजता है - पारस्परिक आदान-प्रदान में - और इस तरह वह सभी सम्बंधित पक्षों का है और उस प्रतीकात्मक संयोजक ऊतक ( metaphorical connective tissue ) का जो उनसभी को जोडती है, भले ही थोड़ी देर के लिए। तभी किसी भी और सकारात्मक भावना से ज़यादा प्रेम किसी एक व्यक्ति का नहीं होता, वह तो जोड़ों में या लोगों के समूह में होता है। प्रेम संबंधों में रहता है।

शायद प्रेम के बारे में सबसे चुनौतीपूर्ण विचार यह है की - न तो वह स्थायी है और नहीं बिना-शर्त। सबसे क्रन्तिकारी बदलाव जो हमें लाना है वह यह है के - प्रेम, जैसे हमारा शारीर अनुभव करता है, सम्बन्ध का एक सुक्ष्म क्षण है दुसरे के साथ। और दशकों का अनुसन्धान अब यह सिद्ध करता है के प्रेम जिसे सकारात्मक सम्बन्ध का सूक्षम क्षण समझा जाता है, आपके मष्तिष्क और आपके ह्रदय के बीच सम्बन्ध मज़बूत करता है और आपको और स्वस्थ बनता है। [ ... ] यह आश्चर्य की बात लगेगी के एक अनुभव जो कुछ ही क्षण रहता है हमारे स्वस्थ्य और धिर्घ-आयु पे स्थायी प्रभाव दाल सकता है। फिर भी यहाँ एक महतवपूर्ण प्रतिक्रिया पाश ( feedback loop ) काम कर रहा है, एक उर्ध्व जाती सीढ़ी आपके सामाजिक और शारीरिक कल्याण के बीच। इसका मतलब है के आपके प्रेम के सुक्ष्म क्षण न सिर्फ आपको स्वस्थ बनाते हैं पर स्वस्थ रहनेसे आपकी प्रेम करने की क्षमता भी बढ़ती है। धीरे - धीरे, प्रेम और प्रेम उपजाता है आपका स्वस्थ्य सुधारते हुए। स्वस्थ्य और स्वस्थ्य उपजाता है आपकी प्रेम करने की क्षमता को बढ़ाते हुए।

- बारबरा फ्रेदेरिकक्सों, प्रेम 2.0 में

आत्मनिरीक्षण के लिए प्रश्न :-
१ प्रेम और स्वस्थ्य के पारस्परिक सम्बन्ध से आप कैसे जुड़ते हैं?
२ प्रेम - सकारत्मक सम्बन्ध का एक सुक्ष्म क्षण - आप इससे क्या समझते हैं?
३ क्या आप प्रेम के एक सुक्ष्म क्षण की कोई निजी कथा हमारे साथ बाँट सके हैं जिसने आपको रूपांतरित किया हो?

Seed Questions for Reflection

How do you relate to the circular relationship of love with health? What do you make of love as a micromoment of positive connection? Can you share a personal story of a micromoment of love that left you transformed?

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Add Your Reflection

19 Past Reflections

Mafalda Almeida

Jul 2, 2015

Would you be so kind and help me creating/designing a meditation exercise, inspired on this amazing phenomenon? I'm truly focused on working in the Corporate world and I'm strongly willing to bring this new element to groups.
I thank you in advance,
With warm regards,
Mafalda Almeida

m.v.rao

Jun 19, 2013

Love is our true reality and is infinite. It cannot be confined to only human to human. Our scriptures say: Love is GOD and GOD is Love. There is no GOD other than love. LOVE is our path and goal.
Our very nature is reality. We can realize the reality (truth) only by cultivating pure selfless and divine love. Without love you cannot achieve anything in the world. Love is the source and substance of universe. Without love world becomes a vacuum. Love alone assumes a form. The truth is that there is no greater sadhana than love. Love without attachment is divine. If you live in love, you will not find anger in others. There is no force in the world powerful than love.
Man is associated with love. All relationships between people in this world are established and cultivated because of love. Again love becomes the cause for separation of two individuals
Love begins at home. We can make our own homes temples of love if we understand and practice it. Children learn from their fathers and mothers how to love one another. Love as attachment is bondage. Love as sacrifice is the doorway to peace. It is the Love inside which makes a man closer to God and not the rituals. Love grows more and more when one leaves the EGO. Wherever there is ‘I’, there cannot be love. A love which says “I love you only if certain conditions are fulfilled” is not love at all. True love is one which allows freedom to other person to be what he or she is with a sense of awareness. Love with no strings attached is friendliness.
I read some where that, Lord Budda used to tell his disciples, ”when you pass by a tree, let your love energy flow towards the tree accepting the tree as it is when you approach a rock, let your love energy flow towards the rock, accepting it as it is. Let the unspoken articulation be I love you. I accept you as you are irrespective of whether the object is animate or inanimate”. That is why BUDDA is called ”The Compassionate one”
LOVE has SIX characteristics as per the Sanskrit saying:- “It GIVES – ACCEPTS – REVEALS – SECRETS – ASKS – EXPERIENCES – AND PROVIDES EXPERIENCE TO OTHERS”.
If you really operate from love, you can say that I exist in you and you exist in me. like a wave in the ocean can say I exist in the ocean and the ocean exist in me.
“ATMANAM SARVA BHOOTASTHAM SARVA BHOOTHAMI CHA ATMANI IKSHATE””BHAGAVADGITHA”
He sees himself in all beings and all beings in himself.
“LET US NOT LOVE WITH WORDS ALONE. LET US LOVE
EACH OTHER TILL IT HURTS!”

Note: Instead of giving comments, I gave my thoughts on love. If you think appropriate you may consider for reading otherwise you may delete. Thanks. m.v.rao.

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Nonoy Jun 25, 2013

YOU HAVE CONVEYED SUBSTANTIALLY ENOUGH ABOUT LOVE. . . IN WISE, INTELLIGENT WORDS. KUDOS.

Blythe

Jun 19, 2013

Everyday we can have these moments of love, actually at the most inauspicious moments we can have these bright bits of softness and tenderness towards each other and ourselves. We may be surprised how often they occur, once we are attuned to the happy warmth that attends the connection.

Thierry

Jun 19, 2013

I did'nt say such love did not exist. I said I was impressed by those who consistently experience it. I would not venture to participate in this forum if some such people had not left a strong imprint on me and had not made me aware of my radical insufficiency.

Rod Templin

Jun 18, 2013

A very strong reaction comes to me when someone says, "there is no such thing as unconditional love." Just because one has never experienced something does not mean it does not exist. Indeed, the highest form of love is unconditional love.

S. Paula

Jun 18, 2013

Love Is. We may experience it as micromoments because we do not understand how to resonate with it for any length of time. It is not an emotion but it may manifest in us, for a microsecond, as emotion because that is how we interpret and understand most things in life, on a momentary emotional basis. That is why life is a bumpy ride for most people rather than a flowing experience. We are constantly shifting emotions based on how we interpret the symbols around us, including each other, grabbing only microseconds of the infinite Love that is our true reality and always available to anyone. Our society is sicker than it has ever been physically and emotionally because we have largely replaced nurturing infinite Love that heals and maintains with fleeting symbolic love that creates emotion deficit disorders and hyperactive emotion disorders that feedback negatively on our health. If microseconds have a positive effect imagine living in the infinite flow of&... View full comment

j Jun 18, 2013

Thank you! What you say . . . true.

Vin Kumar Jun 19, 2013

Love is a need in the process of Evolution. We make too much out of it.Try love when you are living in a jungle and no shelter and no food. It is our evolution of brain that created love as well as GOD.

S.Paula Jun 19, 2013

Vin, I see it more as a need for Love rather than love as a need. Our brains may evolve to understand, share and respond to Love in new ways and we can create with it, but we cannot create it, capture it, change it, or use it up; we can only change our concepts of it and beliefs about it and choose to live with or without it. Love has gotten me, and I am sure countless others, through times like those you mention, the most desperate moments when there was no one and no other help. I learned that Love is the great harmonizer of all things and the more we live with Love as our source the fewer desperate times we have. It is something that the brain cannot fully comprehend or explain adequately, regardless of evolution. We cannot make too much of air, we cannot make too much of water.....things so essential to our very existence as living beings. And, we cannot make too much of Love, without which air and water only perpetuate chaos.

Thierry

Jun 18, 2013

I remember a time when I was 'in love' with the works of the great writer and poet D.H. Lawrence, a time when I felt devastated at the sight of a wildly beautiful girl, because this was what in loveness actually was for me: devastating! And, apparently also, in some way, for the author of The Girl And The Gipsy. And what remains of this great fire today is but gratitude for the man who taught me the love of the English language. No nostalgia whatsoever. And I see human in-loveness now as only the inspirer of good, great litterature, if one has the talent, or as a passion to be transmuted into something less fleeting, more encompassing yet no less vital. I must say I am impressed by some of the comments I just read. Because this transmutation is far from easy and something of the vitality inherent with the state of in loveness may be lost in the process. Whether transmuted into a... View full comment

Vin Kumar

Jun 18, 2013

No story. You have lot of time in your hand. Go for a walk or jog and be more productive.

Jagdish P Dave

Jun 18, 2013

I have experienced in myself and from others both kinds of love: conditional love and unconditional love-love with expectations in return and with no expectations in return, with attachment and without attachment. The first kind of love arises in and from the "lower heart" and the second type of love arises from the "higher heart". There are also times when I have experienced both in varying degrees. I am a human being. The human part is associated with my lower heart and the being part is associated with my higher heart. When I accept the hurt and disappointment with grace as a way of growing and maturing, I move into the pure and unconditional love. I feel I am maturing and getting a little wiser from my experiences. To me experiencing love and growing from love is a life long encouraging process. I make a conscious shift using my energy from nerve wrecking story telling, why me suffering, to what is the purpose and reason for my suffering for me, w... View full comment

Kahalewai

Jun 17, 2013

That was very nice, but only about human Love. The missing element is spiritual love, which is a much higher vibration when genuine and effortless, and also beyond the roller coaster ride of human emotions. I have experienced a different and higher level of Love in many ways and at many times that needs absolutely no confirmation, nor guarantees, promises or emotion. It is called â€‹pure Aloha in Hawaii, and has many names in many cultures. It is quite rare and â€‹precious for us all. Yet when you see it you can also know it, if your discernment abilities are intact. There is a genuine â€‹peace in a loving state of being in a spiritual since that is not material and within the human dimension. Human love depends on the other, and fluctuates, but spiritual love does not require validation nor reciprocity as it draws from the universal supply for its source. Thus it is truly unconditional and reflects the pure essence of the Univ... View full comment

amy

Jun 17, 2013

For God so loved . . . He created every little "micro thing/life form" that "IS". As God IS Love . . . He has imbedded His Seal/His Love on EVERYTHING/ONE created. This evening, after a significant rain fall, my dog and I biked to the Kwik Trip for some milk and eggs. The green grass, clover, bullfrogs, duck, heron, pelican, sky, puddles, passing people, smiles, small conversations, church, school, children playing, sounds all around, cool breezes, air (I pumped up my tires at the KT) . . . honestly, I could go on and on . . . : Micro and Macro "Love forms" abound. When one lives in love, in God, in heightened awareness of the "micro" (the small stuff), you're really living LARGE! Celebrating Father's Day this past weekend, my (earthly) Father encouraged EVERYONE present to walk around the home we were invited to (which happened to be my brother's home) to take in the beauty of this day. Dad (at 77 years of age) has instilled, in each one of hi... View full comment

Maya Jun 20, 2013

Amy, your comment is so right on; your father has given you a great gift in helping his children appreciate God's gift of Nature. I have learned this lesson a little later in life, but what a gift it is to appreciate Nature as God present among us.

david doane

Jun 16, 2013

To start, from my viewpoint the author confuses in love and love, which I see as separate phenomena that can exist concurrently and can affect and support one another. In saying "love is an emotion, a momentary state" that "surfaces like a distinct and fast-moving weather pattern," the author is describing 'in love." As I see it, love is a state of consciousness that one abides in. We fall into emotional love; we grow into abiding in a state of love. Love involves emotion but is more than emotion. 'In love' is a micromoment or longer of positive connection, but 'love' is a state of consciousness and a way of being and a positive connection in relation to others and all that is. I am convinced that love, both kinds that I speak of, is healthy and nurtures good health, and health affects love. It is probably easier for the healthy person to love and be in love, though the unhealthy person can certainly also love and be in love which I beli... View full comment

Conrad P. Pritscher

Jun 14, 2013

Thank you for the opportunity to respond. I believe when one is healthy, one is more likely to love, and when one loves, one is more likely to become more healthy. Love can be a micro moment of positive connection and I think it can be much more than that, That "more" can't be easily said. When one is peaceful there is a greater chance for one being compassionate and loving. When one is loving and compassionate there is greater chance for being peaceful. Love, in the sense of compassion for others and self, is more than an emotion. I see it as a way of being. I am reminded of the word enthusiasm which comes from the Greek word etheos, the God within. When a person experiences oneness with everyone and everything then one has God within. As a person is one with the universe, that is something like a wave and the ocean being one. When we use words as we frequently do, we at times overly intellectualize, and as the f... View full comment

liz tella Jun 19, 2013

what i agree with most at the moment is that love is temporary and not unconditional.
love may be overrated as is. filial love is too temporary, fleeting and mostly condition. true love should be actionalised and not just confessed. a lot of people have felt incredible love that made them happy and more healthy but gave up on it. i would like to know love's boundaries. who should you love? can you control it?
this should be a focal point. how far should you go to love?