Can You Love The One Who..., by Leah Pearlman

क्या तुम उसे प्यार कर सकते हो जो ...
--लिया पर्लमन (30 जनवरी, 2013)

तुममें एक वो है जो प्यारा सा है।
तुममें एक वो है जो कुछ घिनौना है।
क्या तुम उन दोनों से प्यार कर सकते हो?
क्या तुम उन दोनों को प्रदर्शित होने दे सकते हो?

तुममें जो कोशिश करता है, क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?
और जब वह नाकाम हो जाए, तब क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?
तुममें जो झूठ बोलता हो, क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?
और जो बिलखता है, क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?

क्या तुम अपने आंसुओं से प्यार कर सकते हो?
क्या तुम अपनी चिंताओं से प्यार कर सकते हो?
क्या तुम अपने अंदर छुपे डर से प्यार कर सकते हो?
क्या तुम अपने क्रोध से प्यार कर सकते हो?

क्या तुम अपनी उदासीनता से प्यार कर सकते हो?
तुममें जो जकड़ना चाहता हे, क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?
तुममें जो आकर्षक है, क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?
जिसका सुंदर गान है, क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?

तुममें जो व्यसनी(addict) है, क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?
तुममे जो चोर छुपा है, क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?
तुममें जो अहंकार है, क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?
क्या तुम अपने दुखों से प्यार कर सकते हो?

क्या तुम अपने भीतर बसे बचपने से प्यार कर सकते हो?
और अपने ढलते शरीर से?
क्या तुम अपने मन के उड़ते पंछी से प्यार कर सकते हो?
क्या उसे अपने पिंजरे से फुर्र से उड़ने दे सकते हो?
तुममें जो संतुष्ट है, क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?
और उसे जो संतुष्ट नहीं है?

तुममें जो शीतल मन है, क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?
और जो गर्म मिज़ाज का है?
तुममें जो कमज़ोर है, क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?
जो कभी बीमार है, क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?

तुममें जो योद्धा है, क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?
जो हर हाल में लड़ने को तैयार है?

तुममें जो दीवाना है, क्या तुम उससे प्यार कर सकते हो?
क्या तुम अपने मानसिक संतुलन से प्यार कर सकते हो?
क्या तुम अपने पागल दिल से प्यार कर सकते हो?
अपने बिखरे ख्यालों से?

तुममें एक वो है जिसका मन उचाट है,
और एक वो जो अकसर तनाव में रहता है।
क्या तुम उन दोनों को एक साथ प्यार कर सकते हो?
और वो जो अपनी ओर से पूरी कोशिश कर रही है?

अगर इन सब प्रश्नों में से
कुछ का जवाब "न" है,
तो क्या तुम अपने अंदर छुपे उस इंसान से प्यार कर सकते हो
जो अभी प्यार करना सीख रहा है?

---लिया पर्लमन

Seed Questions for Reflection

The poet draws our attention to a remarkable level of acceptance - how do you relate to using love as a practice to be able to embrace all that is? How can we stand up for our truth and at the same time love those who are not aligned with that truth? Can you share a personal story of loving someone while disagreeing with their actions?

Moved by this reading? Join a live Awakin Circle to discuss in community.

Join this week

More ways to connect

Join a Metta Circle

Practice loving-kindness meditation together

Explore peer-learning pods

Small groups diving deeper into shared themes

Start your own local circle

One living room, one intention — we'll help

Add Your Reflection

24 Past Reflections

Jimmy Z

Sep 17, 2023

Quite Beautiful!
We must own all of us, and especially kiss those Monsters on the lips so we can own those parts of ourselves too!

Thank you for sharing!

Kanchan

Aug 10, 2020

ðŸ’—

Carolyn

Dec 7, 2016

Gave me goose-bumps! Sending it all around! So relevant all the time and right now, a time in the history of our country in which it can be easy to be spreading lots of anger and judgment at others with whom we disagree! I am working on remembering that, as Country Joe and the Fish sang in the 60's (and many wise people before and since have reminded us): "We're all bozos on the same bus!" love to all, Carolyn

Jaquelyn P

Feb 6, 2013

Humans are such beautifully complex yet simple beings. The range of emotions and actions described in the poem encompasses many of the experiences that enrich and challenge us personally as well as when dealing with other people. I think the key to embracing all that is, is acknowledging that each characteristic is not necessarily a reflection of who that person is, but is an outward reflection of his/her experience of life at the time. I believe that we all have the ability to choose who we are going to be from moment to moment, but at the very core each and every one of us is a love being. Therefore when faced with those who are not aligned with the truth, those who are mean, fail, wail, lie, what have you, we must look to the core of who we are, and choose love. Every time.

Feb 1, 2013

Ricky, My husband (when he was still my boyfriend) challenged me to try to 'cut off' the highest peaks and the lowest valleys in my "emotional cycles". At first, (for years) I was disappointed that "he was trying to "change" me . . . that he did not like me the way I was. With time and practice, however, I learned the wisdom of his suggestion. He wanted to help me be more emotionally healthy. The extreme ups . . . and extreme downs, do nothing for us. (They tire us out and make us feel even worse.) Flattening out our "line of emotion" (mountains become hills . . . valleys become divots) enables us to to "stay in better control" of our thoughts and responses. This was very difficult for me to do, as 'I am what I am' . . . DNA, experience and former modeling did NOT support the new "emotional plan". I can say, in the past 30 years, (however) I have come a long wa... View full comment

Ricky

Jan 31, 2013

aj. "Love yourself as you do other people!" This is so well stated. Thank you.

Jan 30, 2013

Yay, Chitarta!
Interesting how some people are soooo comfortable in their skin and celebrate their physical bodies as if "it's all about them"! Others, magnify the greatness and beauty they see in others but fail to SEE the sweetness in/of the body gifted them.
For me, I have to reverse the command given "to love my neighbor as myself". I have to tell myself (often) "Love yourself as you do other people!" God looks at ALL OF US and says, "YOU ARE PLEASING in my sight and this is all that should matter! It is VERY GOOD"!

chitarta

Jan 30, 2013

leah THANK YOU sooo much, what a treasure you share. in teaching metta(love)-meditation to people what was stunning to me is that the friend, the neighbor, the opponent, the grumpy co-worker.......could be loved, but the hardest one to love was oneself. within oneself the inner critic, the judger, the controler overwhelmed and could not be accepted.............for a while years back i looked every morning into the mirror and looked at myself from top to bottom, touched parts of my body i wanted specificly be friendly with and WELCOMED myself, SMILED at myself and said loud: all of you sidharta is welcomed and appreciated AS YOU ARE, each atom and cell of you i send lovingkindness to.....THANK YOU for BEING here, sidharta just as you are !!!! every morning i walked away with a heart in ease, a smile and reminded myself during the day to shower myself with kindness and a smile........

Edit Lak

Jan 29, 2013

Ahh, Leah Pearlman.. This poem is a very lovely and deep. The poem of life it is, it really is; This poem should be a check and tick box within every New Year, just to see how self is traveling in life.. I think the ‘Can You’ is a work in progress throughout life, what once was thought I couldn’t, is now I can – age and experience are the Cans’ and Cants’ within self. I think back and I once determinately thought I couldn’t get beyond a point of my birth, my self. my illness, my path, my love - now I know I can, and have and every year another ‘can’ is a witness to this life.. Thank YOU for another insight and wonderment to life… Much gratitude to you all..

Conrad

Jan 29, 2013

More notions related to what Ganoba and Ricky said: by Gail Brenner I think it's much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong. - Richard P. Feynman - 9Gail Brenner)The Wisdom Of Forgetting What You Know We are so afraid to let go, to just be, to allow the unfolding of this marvelous life without getting in the way. This fear keeps us paralyzed and stuck. And longing for the peace that is possible -- if only we would put down all the efforts we make to know. There is no greater gift you can give yourself than the invitation to enter the world of not knowing. Why? If you are always going to know what you know now, things will always stay the same. How could... View full comment

Chris James

Jan 29, 2013

" Tout comprendre c'est tout pardoner" ...but as Sharon Bond has said,.."It is when we don't understand behaviour that we are most tempted to be judgemental about it."

Conrad

Jan 29, 2013

I love what Ricky and Ganoba say.

Jan 29, 2013

Amen, Ganoba!

Beth

Jan 29, 2013

This is the major lesson to learn for me this lifetime, for I have been disowned from my parents and in my time of most need cast aside by my sister. These are people who when needs arise they conveniently forget the past and sweep the mess under the rug and go forward never to speak of things again. When my father was dying it was me who has the temperament, compassion, and kindness to sit with the near dead and dying. As I did I began to see the man inside the mask. Although I longed for him to say he loved me he never did, yet in his eyes I saw how much he did care and how deep his love really was. I have to wonder if that isn't the same with the rest of the family. Year after year of their selfish behavior I have offered less and less opportunity for them to hurt me. Yet by distancing myself I am doing anything? Time after time I have allowed myself to to be hurt and this has been my course of action, to disassociate. ... View full comment

Jagdish P Dave

Jan 29, 2013

The poem is like a mirror for me to see me as a whole person compassionately. It is by being mindful of and remaining mindful of all the colors of the rainbow of my human consciousness I can and will be a whole person. The poem reminds me that I am a HUMAN and also a BEING. I need to let my Human be reflected in the all accepting BEING to be a whole and wholesome person.

Thanks for sending me this beautiful poem and giving me moments to reflect on myself.

Jagdish P Dave

Ricky

Jan 29, 2013

After reading the poem (thank you for the choice submission it is), and the brilliant responses, I see this series of questions a synopsis from an author who has been quietly reflecting on the inner struggles surrounding our collective definition of love and resistance to Love. Should we continue living our present life under the impression that God is an entity outside us and not the Divine within, we will most certainly continue to resist being comfortable within our own selves, and therefore continue labeling emotions and actions good and bad, happy and sad, life-giving and life-sapping, up and down. 'Judge not, lest ye be judged'. 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' I'm with Ganoba here, for sure. Life can either be liberating and freeing from all of this self-loathing, or it can be a self-imposed sentence of struggle and frustr... View full comment

peggy

Jan 29, 2013

This passage reminds me of the Alanis Morisette song " Everything" - clean version: http://youtu.be/YlepQ9og-KE
"And you're still here"...the challenge is to not abandon ourselves.

Ganoba

Jan 29, 2013

All these are judgments and I am a poor judge.

Jan 28, 2013

The only One who can fully answer "Yes" to this litany of questions would be God Himself. By grace, we are able to love . . . but only to a point. Because we are people, in our weakness (in our sin), we can only do our best in "loving" our own and other's weaknesses. When I am at work, or in other public arenas, I am best able to love and accept differences. Because it is both professionally and spiritually correct, I pray for the grace to OUTWARDLY love, accept and handle people correctly/tenderly. I was brought up with the "do unto others as you would want them to do unto you" notion heavily engrained. I still fail miserably, however, when compared to the One Who made me. I have greatest difficuly loving . . . ~people who feel the need to elevate themselves to make small their neighbor ~people who shame other people (in my home and church, the words "shame on you" spoken freely) ~too muc... View full comment

david doane

Jan 26, 2013

We can love all those qualities and people, and that we don't is a matter of not having grown to that point yet. As I see it, it's growing in embracing all that is that results in love. I grow in love (that is, in being in the state of love) by realizing that all my qualities, the ones I like and the ones I don't like, are part of me, and embracing them, and all people, the ones I like and the ones I don't like, are part of me, and embracing them. In the process of this acceptance and embracing I get to know what and who I don't like, I learn, I integrate, I grow, I love. What it comes down to is that I am one, including the parts of me I don't like, and we are one, including those we don't agree with. We can stand up for our truth and at the same time love those who are not aligned with that truth by realizing that we are each different, we each see through a different pair of eyes, and by dialoguing we each learn.&... View full comment

luv4all

Jan 26, 2013

This poem is amazing. It just strikes few chords and opens up the heart and mind. Thank you for making us realize that love is possible for all and self in different situations and thoughts. Greatness in love, unconditional love may become realistic when this poetry can be practised and lived.
Amen.

Xiaoshan

Jan 25, 2013

Is love acceptance, or not?
Is love being compassionate, or not?
Is love conditional, or not?

Is the love of yours the same of mine, or not?

Conrad P. Pritscher

Jan 25, 2013

Excellent poem. Thanks for the opportunity to respond. Loving everyone and everything is it but I often forget it. When I forget being kind to everyone and everything I am critical and delusional. In a group I meet with weekly, I often try to correct one of the members who thinks that if he had one more idea or one more category of thought, he would then be certain and fulfilled. I frequently states he is wrong for thinking that he will get an idea that explains all ideas. When I do that, I do not love him or myself. As Gandhi said: If you want to make someone happy, be compassionate. If you want to be happy, be compassionate." Warm and kind regards to everyone.