Tulip Poplar Tree

Such a Beautiful Story and how lucky you are to have had the longevity with that tree! A short film or longer one would be beautiful to illustrate this story and your experience. My son was a boys boy and many teachers would ask questions like did he fall on his head? Does he have ADHD etc. As a woman I came to trust what others thought but luckily his father did not. Many people put him in a typical African American Boy Problem Box. He knew his letters numbers and colors before preschool at 4 years old. Then he started Kindergarten at 4 and 9 months among 5 year olds and 6 year olds in a class of 35! All of a sudden academics and social rules were a problem. He is fearless, loved to play and talk and was always in trouble. In middle school he played 4-5 instruments, was in debate club, boxing and wanted to do drama and other things. Fast forward, no graduating middle school due to a pandemic. Starting high school online, not his thing for an only child social butterfly. He became angry, I became angry but I had taught him as a little boy about anger and its purpose and how to extinguish the fire. He learned how to fly planes from his father's encouragement and our investment straight out of senior year of high school. He is now 7 months into the Airforce after Civil Air Patrol and working in Heavy Aircraft Avionics at 19. At 16 when he copiloted on his intro flight I learned what it takes from the Phonetic Alphabet to the Pre-Flight and Take Off checks, to learning all the gauges, language and flight paths. I was amazed at how much information he took in, learned and executed all before 18! Lastly I attribute his fathers own discipline from martial arts and military school and his relationship with his father and military service. My son was mediocre in Kung Fu from 4-8 yrs old but then excelled in Aikido 9-15 during the pandemic. Both had him memorize relevant foreign languages and physical moves to execute throughout his youth. Basic training taught him lack and teamwork that was essential as an only child. I was the parent who often saw what is wrong and I am grateful "He turned out fine" as many people would tell me he would. Hide full comment

This one hits very close to home. While we were growing up, one of my maternal uncle's wife passed away at a young age. They had two boys. One was 3 and the other about 18 months. My mother decided to bring home the 3 year old and care for him as he has been born with polio in his right arm and leg and needed help to do anything. Mom's vision was to get him to be independent and not become an object of sympathy. We started teaching him, supporting him and loving him like no one had ever. When it was time, we admitted him to the very best of schools which had empathy and compassion as its core along with other montessori curriculum. I was given the responsibility to care for him and help him regain his strength on the right side. What started as a physio therapy and ayurvedic approach to regaining strength, ended up in building a strong bond with him. 2-3 times a week I had to take him in my bicycle for 10 kilometers, have him undergo his therapy and ride back. We did this for a few years. Along the way, I saw the transformation - both phsyically and in his outlook. Though there was a slight limp in his walk, his friends at school started including him in all sports and activities and he too started taking interest in them. During his 10th grade his dad, who had remarried and was confident of supporting both the boys and another new born daughter, decided to take him back. My mother encouraged the boy to accept it as a sign that he had grown and was fully capable of supporting his dad. She also encouraged him not to give up the effort of becoming a better version of himself every day. Years passed, he is now a leading partner in one of the largest firms. His handshake firm as any, confidence soaring higher than any and most importantly, passing on the lessons of perseverance not just to his children but to his teams and neighbors. Just by ignoring what was once a handicap, he had grown into a shining light amidst the brightest around him. My mother was like the mother nature, sharing what comes naturally. No management lesson, no words of self pity or seeking accolade for taking a little boy into her fold and grooming him. To this day, when I exchange hugs with him, they are the warmest. Love and gratitude. Hide full comment