When Solutions Are Technologies Of Avoidance

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Hand-drawn art by Rupali Bhuva
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जब समाधान सच्चाई को टालने के तरीके बन जाते हैं
- बायो अकोमोलाफे

जब चीजें योजना के मुताबिक नहीं होतीं, जब प्रयोगशाला एक धमाके में बिखर जाती है — कांच के टुकड़े, धुआं, और अच्छी नीयतें सब हवा में उड़ जाते हैं — तो हम आमतौर पर सोचते हैं कि क्या गलत हुआ। ताकि उससे कुछ सबक लिया जा सके। यह बहुत सामान्य है। शायद हम सभी ऐसा करते हैं।

लेकिन हाल ही में मैं सोचने लगा हूं कि क्या यह प्रक्रिया — यानी हर विफलता को तर्क से समझने और समाधान खोजने की कोशिश — कहीं कुछ और से बचने की कोशिश तो नहीं है? क्या हम कुछ और देखने से चूक रहे हैं?

योरूबा (नाइजीरिया की एक संस्कृति) की एक कहावत है:
“राजा का महल जलता है, और वह और भी सुंदर हो जाता है।”
शायद यह बात आपने भी किसी रूप में सुनी हो — जैसे “हर अंधेरी रात के बाद सवेरा होता है” या “हर नुकसान में कोई फायदा छिपा होता है”।

लेकिन मेरा मानना है कि योरूबा की यह कहावत कुछ और, कुछ गहरा कह रही है।
यह हमें सिखा रही है कि विफलता को केवल सुधारने या उससे “सीख” निकालने की चीज़ न समझें — बल्कि कभी-कभी खुद को उस विफलता के हवाले कर देना भी जरूरी है।

हवा में उड़ते धुएं, हमारे टूटे हुए इरादे, वह गड़बड़ जो हमने रोकी नहीं — शायद वहीं कहीं कोई रहस्य छिपा है।
हो सकता है कि जीवन हमारे सबसे अच्छे प्रयासों से नहीं चलता।
कभी-कभी हमें उस ठहराव में रुक जाना चाहिए —
जहाँ कुछ नहीं हो रहा,
जहाँ सब कुछ गड़बड़ है,
जहाँ शरीर जवाब नहीं दे रहा,
जहाँ याद की गई बातें याद नहीं आ रहीं,
वे गीत अब वहाँ रहते हैं, जहाँ भटके हुए प्रेमी बसा करते हैं — वो भी, जिन्हें उनके अपने सृजनहारों ने भुला दिया।

कब समाधान सच्चाई को टालने के तरीके बन जाते हैं?
क्या कभी यह भी ठीक है कि हम कुछ और आज़माएँ?
क्या हम इन टूटे हुए क्षणों को एक नये प्रकार की समृद्धि के दूत मान सकते हैं — ऐसी समृद्धि, जो खोई हुई चीज़ों से नहीं, बल्कि खोने की क्रिया से आती है?

विफलता कठिन होती है। अपमानजनक भी लग सकती है।
लेकिन हो सकता है,
वहाँ भी कुछ सुंदर हो —
जैसे माँ काली की बिखरी जटाओं में छुपी कोई नरम सी रौशनी।
शायद थोड़ा सा झुक जाना ही काफी हो
उस तूफ़ान के सामने
जो चीखता हुआ मैदानों में दौड़ रहा है,
और पीछे एक उजड़ा हुआ शहर छोड़ गया है।

“काले बकरे को दिन में ही ढूंढ़ो,” एक और नाइजीरियन कहावत है।
समाधानों का भी एक समय होता है।
और फिर ऐसे समय भी आते हैं जिन्हें हम नाम भी नहीं दे सकते।
उन्हें वैसा ही गुजर जाने दो।

मनन के लिए मूल प्रश्न:
•आप उस धारणा को कैसा मानते हैं , कि बुधिमत्ता इसी में हो सकती है को कोई असफलता आने पर हम उसे पूरी तरह अपना लें, बजाये इसके कि हम सिर्फ सिर्फ विश्लेषण करने लग जाएँ उसके समाधान के लिए?
• क्या आप कोई ऐसा निजी कहानी साझा कर सकते हैं, जब आपने किसी टूटन या अस्थिरता का अनुभव किया हो और उसे अपनाया हो — और उससे कोई अनपेक्षित सुंदरता या समझ सामने निकल कर आई हो?
• असफलता एकं अस्थिरता के क्षणों को उभरने देने में एवं हडबडाहट में उनके समाधान नहीं खोजने और उन्हें सही नहीं करने में , आपको किस चीज़ से मदद मिलती है ?
Seed Questions for Reflection

What do you make of the notion that there may be wisdom in allowing oneself to be "taken" by failure, rather than simply analyzing it for solutions? Can you share a personal story that reflects the experience of embracing disruption or failure in a way that led to unexpected beauty or insight? What helps you allow moments of "failure" and "disruption" to unfold without rushing to resolve or fix them immediately?

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Add Your Reflection

9 Past Reflections
EL
Jul 26, 2025
For the most part, I look at the education I receive to help me grow from circumstances that were difficult, not pleasant or that completely spun my life around into a direction I never expected.

I do not take an “oh well “attitude because I feel that things occur for us to extract even the tiniest morsel of knowledge from

I feel that the “miracles quote that we created our lives are from all of these earned stepping stones through experiences of the past. Preparedness meets timing and called miracles.

I love when that happens

Elaine gotfryd noonan

RM
Jul 16, 2025
What if the invention of the word "failure" itself is the biggest failure of humanity? If as the wise ones say and know, we are truly here to learn and grow and not to prove ourselves then what is there to fail at or succeed at? Everything is just part of divine plan that is unfolding. Why do we need to lable anything as failure or success? What good is it other than boosting or lowering our ego.
FK
Jul 15, 2025
I think of the idea of wabi sabi. The beauty found in. According to Alan. Asymmetrical and uneven unbalanced things. There's not a solution. And part of wabi sabi is the idea of the grace in aging, the beauty of aged things. In other words, some things come to an end or a seeming end, and there is beauty there. And it's not so much about solution as it is about. I think a sacred moment. And stopping and taking in what is there. Is a Tulip flower so bright and fresh and strong in its young colors? The best expression of being a Tulip. Or is it when it is folding over with a gentleness and a softer arc to the bend and it leaves when it is aging? And you can't fix tulips that are aging. You're just going to enjoy them
ST
Jul 14, 2025
Immense wonder just got let loose in the same room as doom. Not only do we need to try new ways of thinking, as Einstein suggested, but we also may need to allow the utter bankruptcy of broken structures to go up in smoke. I fear the pain but not the outcome. Childbirth.
DD
David Doane Jul 15, 2025
I love your metaphors -- they are deep. Such as "Immense wonder just got let loose in the same room as doom." I want to remember the truth of that.
DD
Jul 12, 2025
I believe there is wisdom in allowing oneself to be taken by failure in the sense of accepting it and learning from it. I believe that we learn and grow more from our failures than our successes. Happenings that don't go as wanted or expected push us into new territory in which we are challenged and grow, not primarily by analyzing it for solutions but by seeing and responding in new ways that expand ourselves and our way of dealing with whatever. When I started thinking that my writing might become a book, I went through many overall themes and titles, none of which was I satisfied with, each of which was a few steps down a road that became a failure but was also part of a process that unfolded into what became for me beauty, insight, and right. Things not working, failure, can evolve into what seems right.
JP
Jul 11, 2025
We all experience failures and disruptions in life. How we deal with our failures and disruptions without denying, without fighting, or without trying to escape from them is very important. I accept my failures and disruptions as a way of discovering the causes of my failures and disruptions with an open mind and open heart and with compassion. My failures become my teacher. With an open and inquisitive mindset I accept my mistakes and learn from my mistakes. This way I expand my consciousness instead of restricting it. Unconditional acceptance of my failures expands my view of looking at reality as it is. As a teenager my mind was often distracted by seeing beautiful girls in my classes. Such distractions had a strong impact on my mind, and on my sleep and on my studies. I love to study. Disruptions had a negative impact on my studies, mental health and emotional wellbeing. I woke up from my sleep. I disciplined my mind to remain focused on my studies. I learned a valuable... View full comment
AM
Jul 10, 2025
If we are here as part of a grander scheme than our simplistic ideas of how things ought to unfold because of our desires, the story above opens a portal to include any event as a blessed event. Assuming that we need to find answers or solutions to things that take a different turn or become disruptive to our existing patterns of thinking feeling, and sensing, then how will we engage with this great unfolding with an open heart and mind? Where is awareness, creativity and action, operating as a dance of three? Inmy personal experience, I’ve seen much destruction and despair both at the personal level as well as at the collective level. As a first responder to the 911 disaster, I saw my hometown in an upheaval the rescue workers and all others on the ground were overwhelmed with a stench of burning human flesh. The story that emerged to help us stay, uplifted had everything to do with nourishment for the soul, as our spirits seem to have evaporated. When our house flooded seven ... View full comment