The Day I Learned Giving, by Dan Clark

જે દિવસે મેં આપવાનું શીખ્યું
ડેન ક્લાર્ક દ્વારા

એક વખત જ્યારે હું કિશોર હતો, હું અને મારા પિતા સર્કસની ટિકિટ લેવા માટે લાઇનમાં ઉભા હતા.

અંતે, અમારી અને ટિકિટ કાઉન્ટર વચ્ચે માત્ર એક પરિવાર બાકી રહ્યો. આ પરિવારે મારા મન પર ઊંડો પ્રભાવ પાડ્યો.

ત્યાં આઠ બાળકો હતા, બધા લગભગ બાર વર્ષ થી નાના. તેમનો પહેરવેશ જોઈને સમજાતુ હતુ કે તેમની પાસે વધારે પૈસા નહી હોય, પણ તેમના કપડાં સ્વચ્છ અને સુઘડ હતા.

બાળકો ખૂબ શિસ્તબદ્ધ હતાં, બધા બે-બે કરી કરી માતા-પિતાની પાછળ હાથ પકડીને ઊભા હતા. તેઓ ઉત્સાહ થી જોકર, પ્રાણીઓ અને એ રાત્રે જોવાના પ્રસંગો વિષે વાતોં કરતા હતા. તેમનો આનંદ જોઈને સમજાતુ હતુ કે તેઓ પહેલી વાર સર્કસ જોવા આવ્યા છે. એ તેમની જિંદગી નો એક યાદગાર પ્રસંગ બનવાનો હતો.

પિતા અને માતા કતારમાં ગર્વભેર આગળ ઊભા હતા. માતા તેના પતિનો હાથ પકડીને એમ જોતી હતી જાણે કહેતી હોય કે, "તમે મારા વીર પુરુષ છો." પિતા સ્મિત કરી રહ્યા હતા અને પોતાના ખુશ પરિવારને જોઈ અનંદ માણી રહ્યા હતા.

ટિકિટ આપતી સ્ત્રીએ પિતાને પૂછ્યું, “તમારે કેટલી ટિકિટો લેવાની છે?” તેણે ગર્વથી જવાબ આપ્યો, “મારે આઠ બાળકોની અને બે મોટાઓની ટિકિટ લેવી છે, જેથી હું અને મારો પરિવાર સર્કસ જોઈ શકું.” ટિકિટ આપનારી સ્ત્રીએ કિમત જણાવી.

તે માણસની પત્નીએ તેનો હાથ છોડ્યો, માથું નીચે ઝૂકી ગયું અને માણસના હોઠ કાંપવા લાગ્યા. પછી તે થોડુ નજીક જઈને બોલ્યો, “કેટલાં કહ્યા તમે?” ટિકિટ આપતી સ્ત્રીએ ફરી કિંમત કહી.

તે માણસ પાસે પૂરતા પૈસા નહોતાં. હવે તે પોતાના આઠ બાળકોને કેવી રીતે કહે કે તેમની પાસે સર્કસ જોવા જવા જેટલા પૈસા નથી?

આ દ્રશ્ય જોતા મારા પિતાએ પોતાના ખિસ્સામાંથી $20 ની નોટ કાઢી અને જમીન પર પાડી દીધી. (અમે કોઈ રીતે ધનિક ન હતા!) પછી તેમણે વળીને નોટ ઉઠાવી અને તે માણસના ખભા પર હાથ રાખીને કહ્યું, “માફ કરશો સાહેબ, આ તમારી ખિસ્સામાંથી પડી ગઈ છે.”

તે માણસ બધું સમજી ગયો. તે કોઈ દાન માગી રહ્યો ન હતો, પણ આ મુશ્કેલ, દુઃખદ અને શરમજનક પરિસ્થિતિમાં મળી રહેલી મદદ માટે ખૂબ આભારી બન્યો.

તેણે મારા પિતાની આંખોમાં જોયું, તેમણે મારા પિતાનો હાથ બંને હાથમાં લીધો,$20 ની નોટને મજબૂતીથી પકડી, હોઠ કાંપતા અને આંખમાંથી આંસુ વહી રહ્યા હતા, અને બોલ્યો, “ધન્યવાદ સાહેબ, ધન્યવાદ. આ મારા અને મારા પરિવાર માટે ઘણું મહત્વ ધરાવે છે.”

હું અને મારા પિતા અમારી કારમાં પાછા ઘરે આવી ગયા. તે $20 જે પિતાએ આપ્યા હતા, એ તો અમારા પોતાના સર્કસના ટિકિટ ખરીદવાના પૈસા હતા.

ભલે અમે એ રાત્રે સર્કસ જોઈ શક્યા ન હતા, પરંતુ અમારા હૃદયમાં જે આનંદ થયો તે સર્કસ જોવા કરતા પણ ઘણો ઊંચો અને ઊંડો હતો.

એ દિવસે મેં આપવાનું સાચું મૂલ્ય શીખ્યું.

દેનાર હંમેશા લેનાર કરતાં મોટો હોય છે. જો તમે જીવન કરતાં પણ મોટા બનવા માંગતા હો, તો આપવાનું શીખો. પ્રેમનો સંબંધ તમે શું મેળવવાની અપેક્ષા રાખો છો તે સાથે નથી — પરંતુ તમે શું આપવાની તૈયારી રાખો છો તે સાથે છે — અને તે જ બધું છે.

આપવાની અને અન્યને આશીર્વાદ આપવા ની મહત્તા ક્યારેય વધુ કહી શકાય તેવી નથી, કારણ કે આપવામાં હંમેશા આનંદ રહેલો છે. આપવાના કાર્યો દ્વારા કોઈને ખુશ કરવાનું શીખો.

ચિંતન માટેના બિજ પ્રશ્નો:
જ્યારે આપણે પોતાના હિસ્સામાંથી કંઈક આપીએ, ત્યારે તેમાં કોઈ ઊંડો અર્થપૂર્ણ અનુભવ છુપાયેલો હોઈ શકે — તમે આ વિચારને કેવી રીતે સમજો છો?

મદદ આપવી અને સામેનાનું માન-સન્માનને જાળવી રાખવા વચ્ચેની નાજુક રેખાને ધ્યાનમાં રાખીને, તમે આપવાનું એવી રીતે કેવી રીતે કરો છો કે બંને બાબતો સાચવાય?

પોતાના હિસ્સામાંથી આપવાની તક, પોતાના માટે રાખવાની તક કરતા વધુ મોટી છે, એ સમજવામાં મદદ કરે છે કે તમને શું મદદ કરે છે ?

From Chicken Soup for the Soul.

Seed Questions for Reflection

What do you make of the notion that there can be something meaningful to experience when we give from our own share of life. Contemplating the fine line between offering help and respecting dignity, how do you navigate giving in a way that supports both needs and pride? What helps you see the opportunity to give from your own share as greater than the opportunity to keep your share to yourself?

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Add Your Reflection

28 Past Reflections

Usha

Nov 15, 2025

The Day I Learned Giving We are the culmination of the experiences we gather, shaped by the vigour and attitude with which we approach life’s journey. Even when people go through similar experiences, each of us may still choose a different path. We all believe our chosen path is right—yet ultimately, only time is the true judge. I was fortunate to have a protector in my life. Whenever I strayed toward a path that might lead me astray, an incident would arise that quietly guided me back. My dad always believed in giving, though it did not make sense to me then. When I was still in school, he asked me to tutor his friend’s two sons for free because their family was going through financial hardship. I accepted, though unwillingly, and continued doing it for a couple of years. One day, I overheard one of the boys speaking ill of my dad. When I questioned him, the truth spilled out—shocking and unbelievable. For a moment, I thought I had misheard him. He called my dad a fool, and he said it with a sly smile. From as early as seven or eight years old, my mind had already begun treading a karmic path—questioning, reasoning, defining and redefining my own beliefs. Situations like this put me at war with myself. A flurry of questions filled my thoughts. I was a mess, confused and torn. Was my dad right or wrong? If he was right, why was he being mocked? If he was wrong, then was doing good not the right path? What was the point of sacrificing my time and potential earnings for people who did not even respect him? While I was still struggling with these questions, the next unexpected episode silenced my confusion. One day, after boarding a bus, I realised I had forgotten my wallet. Just as I was about to get down, an old man paid for my fare despite my protests. When I asked where I could find him to return the money, he simply said, “You don’t need to pay me. If you want to return the favour, do something good for someone else without expecting anything back. Think of it as returning my kindness. This way, goodness and faith will keep circulating in our society.” That moment was an eye-opener—a perfect answer to the turmoil in my mind. It showed me how even a small act of giving can brighten someone’s life. Giving does not always have to be monetary. It can be kindness, time, words of support, or simply sharing one’s food. It can be soothing a hurting heart or making someone in need feel less alone. From that day on, the value of giving became deeply ingrained in me. Hide full comment

Siti Hardiyanti

Nov 7, 2025

When we give something that is truly ours ( time, money, or care) it means more because we make a choice to share what we value. It shows love and kindness. The story teaches that real happiness doesn’t come from what we get, but from what we give. Even though the father and son didn’t see the circus, they felt full of joy because their giving brought happiness to others. When we help someone, it’s important to make them still feel respected and not ashamed. The father in the story did this beautifully, he didn’t make the man feel embarrassed. He helped in a quiet, gentle way by pretending the money had fallen. That shows that true giving is not about showing power, but about showing respect and care. When we keep everything for ourselves, the happiness stays small. But when we give, the happiness grows. It spreads to others and comes back to us in another way. Knowing that our kindness can make someone’s life brighter helps us see that sharing gives our life mor... View full comment

Tatvi Shah

Oct 31, 2025

This story really touched me. It reminded me that giving from our own share, even when it means letting go of something we want, carries a special kind of meaning. It’s easy to give when we have extra, but when we share what’s ours — what we might need too — it becomes an act of love that stays with us. I remember one evening in the hostel when one of my friends wasn’t feeling well. She hadn’t eaten all day because she couldn’t go to the mess, and I had just one packet of Maggie left — the one I had saved for late-night snack. For a second, I hesitated, but then I made it for her. We both sat together talking and laughing while she ate, and somehow, I felt happier than if I had eaten it myself. That small moment reminded me that giving doesn’t reduce what we have — it multiplies the warmth around us. When it comes to helping others, I feel it’s important to do it in a way that respects their dignity. Everyone wants to feel capable and not dependent, so I’v... View full comment

Oct 31, 2025

I love the Bible’s words/message … that it is in giving that we receive. So that, in dying we are born to so very much more! Give!

Richard

Oct 29, 2025

A wonderful story. Thank you very much!

Judy T

Oct 28, 2025

It’s always someone else’s turn to receive and for us to see that, step out of the way and give freely. Pay forward, pay backward, just give and serve and see the need and grow a garden of compassion. The world has always needed that.

David

Oct 28, 2025

Such a beautiful story. Touches my heart

Jan Shaw

Oct 28, 2025

We can all learn from this touching story!

rtfconnors

Oct 28, 2025

Really nice story.

Catherine Todd

Oct 28, 2025

I have lived in Guatemala for twenty years, one of the poorest countries in the world. I have given and given and given, and all I got was people lying, cheating and stealing from me, from the moment I "gave." Once you "give" anything here, they come back for more, knowing you are "hooked." They have no respect for you at that point, as you are now a "MARK." It took me twenty years to practically LOSE EVERYTHING from people I had known for eight, ten or twenty years to find out they had been lying and stealing from me the ENTIRE TIME and I bought all the "sad stories" while they build large houses, lived well, and had more money than me. It was a terrible lesson and one that I have yet to recover from. I believed my whole life in 'GIVING" but I have learned the HARD WAY it's a fool's errand to "give" and "try to help" and so has anyone, any gringo, who has lived in a corrupt country with a corrupt culture like this one. I wish someone would or could explain to me how this "gi... View full comment

A Oct 30, 2025

I am sorry that happened to you and am in agreement that people take advantage of others. I have seen that in my partners siblings calling with a sad story over and over expecting a bank. However I think the point is to only give when your heart is aligned with it. Don't enable people but only strengthen their resolve to get back on their feet. My Mom had a choice to go on welfare but I cried and told her no because I only knew those who stayed on it and didn't attempt to do better. I have a Master's Degree and $75,000 debt but I love my job a Not-for profit where I would have been forgiven in 2 years. I will die with debt but I was given an opportunity that in turn helps others on a daily basis.

David Doane Nov 4, 2025

I think being deceived can be the beginning of being embittered, can be the end of naive trust, can be the beginning of increased trusting self, and can make for increased strength and wisdom, and is often all that. I think the lesson learned is valuable, though the way of learning it can be painful. I think giving can do good when I trust me and take care of me first and am as good at saying "no" as saying "yes." In the culture you were in, I may have struggled as much as you.

Usha Nov 15, 2025

I can only say, give only as much as you can afford, not to go down. Give to them whom you expect no return then you know how much you can actually afford to give. I am really sorry about the worst thing that happened to you. Again, giving is not only monetary. One can give moral support, physical help or other kind. Giving makes our world beautiful and better place to live. Giving is a hope.

Anil Pandit

Oct 28, 2025

And the happiness gets compounded, when the Giving gets linked with a personal sacrifice.

Jo Oct 31, 2025

Amen Anil! Amen!

No Bigger Than

Oct 28, 2025

The true Giver in this story is the man who dropped his pride to receive the money without a fight. How many of you would say "Oh no. I can't take this!" first, out of humbleness, politeness, embarrassment....Be honest, our customs have trained us a certain way. The Author and his father receieved a hugely powerful gift BECAUSE the man allowed them to give. Givers are not bigger than Receivers. They are one in the same.

JT Trepanier

Oct 28, 2025

This made me cry with joy, thank you. This story reminded me of a kind act that happened recently. My 12-year-old daughter and I were at the airport, and my husband had given her the change he had in his pocket. As we were standing in a long line to enter the plane, she looked at me and said, "I am going to drop the quarters on the ground so that kids will feel lucky today when they find them." The line started moving, and I looked back, and there was a smiling child as he found the quarters on the ground. I told Aria to look back, and she did and smiled. It was the sweetest gesture to create a "lucky day" for a child who had no idea she purposely dropped those quarters to make their day a little brighter.

stream

Oct 28, 2025

Ahhhh- can't respond intellectually to this sweet story- just crying with joy and grief- mahalo

Carol

Oct 28, 2025

There is a story from Mark Nepo, life of a caretaker, see this gift so I can see myself as giving. Sometimes we give something and it mirrors their own inadequacy, and the response is not gratitude it is sadness Intention gives the giver its response,

Anne Rogers

Oct 28, 2025

Beautiful story. And I agree about giving but also disagree that the giver is bigger than the receiver. I directed a service exchange and the greatest beauty I saw was when one who thought they needed nothing allowed and appreciated another to do service for them …allowing the person who was always on the receiver end to be the giver!

B. Bowling

Oct 28, 2025

In recovery...freely given...freely received....freely passed on.

Rajat Mishra

Oct 28, 2025

When we give willingly from our own share — out of free will and without any compulsion — it expands our heart. The satisfaction we feel is far greater than what we would have experienced by consuming it ourselves. There is something magical in such giving. But when giving is forced or done under pressure, it leaves us feeling deprived rather than fulfilled.

True giving must flow from the heart, without any expectation of return. Only then does it uphold both the need and the dignity of the receiver. Our own heart tells us whether our giving was selfish, compelled, or truly willful. A willful act of giving brings immediate joy — it carries no pain.

When a sense of oneness, born of love for all, fills our heart, we begin to see that the opportunity to give from our share is far greater than the temptation to keep it for ourselves.

BarbaraS.

Oct 28, 2025

I teared up as well reading this story of giving. So beautiful in how he was so quick to act with placing the $20 on the ground and then picking it up to offer to the other family. I am not that quick with thought and would've probably just offered the money but he spare this gentleman his dignity. Such a heartwarming story of love and compassion in giving.

David Doane

Oct 24, 2025

I believe giving is its own reward, and the more the giving is giving from our own share of life the greater is the reward. Giving that provides little reward is giving that is not from our own share of life or giving of that which is inconsequential to me. Giving that supports both needs and pride is giving that truly helps the other, is giving that is respectful, is giving of that which the other needs and can't do for self or doesn't know how to do for self, is giving that empowers and doesn't disempower, and is giving that lifts the other and doesn't put down the other. What helps me see opportunities to give is the reward I receive in giving, seeing the other's joy and gratitude when I give something helpful, seeing that giving benefits both the giver and the receiver, and the emptiness and regret I feel when I pass up an opportunity to give.

Jagdish P Dave

Oct 23, 2025

Giving unconditional love is receiving a joyful and grateful gift. This wonderful story written by Dan Clerk has deeply touched my heart. We spend a lot of money buying things which we may not need. And there are many people who may not have enough money to meet their daily needs and to enjoy the simple things of life. There are also people who find great joy by helping and serving others. As I was growing up in a relatively poor family my friends from relatively rich families would come to our house at lunch time. My mother will offer them simple inexpensive chapatis-bread. It was a gift from her heart. My friends loved to come to eat such simple food. My mother used to say the simple food offered from her heart tasted sweeter and more fulfilling to her. I will never forget seeing deep joy in her eyes. And she taught us that deep contentment and joy comes from serving others unconditionally. I am very grateful to her for offering such precious gifts to me from her loving heart. ... View full comment

Victoria Crawford

Oct 23, 2025

This story brought tears to my eyes. So much good in our world. I love the way in this story the man's dignity was preserved.....what a wise father, to understand that need as being as important as the need for the money for the tickets. I sense not only was the man able to take his family to the circus but also felt a deep sense of belonging and loving care. True service from the heart.......