Several years ago, I moved into a new apartment in Seattle. A few days after my move, around 11:00PM, just as I was falling asleep in bed, my next door neighbor started playing house music very loudly; we shared a wall, and his speakers were right up against that wall, and the whole wall seemed to vibrate with his music. At first I was outraged by how disrespectful he was to start playing loud music so late at night. I gathered the courage to go next door and pay him a visit and give him a piece of my mind. But as I put on my bathrobe, I realized that if I show any sign of anger, it would make for a terrible introduction to his new neighbor, and our relationship would start out on the wrong foot. So I tried to swallow my negativity and knocked on his door. An exuberant young man opened the door and invited me in. I asked him if he could turn his music down, and explained that my whole wall was vibrating. He did so, apologizing profusely. He then explained that he was a professional DJ,...
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Several years ago, I moved into a new apartment in Seattle. A few days after my move, around 11:00PM, just as I was falling asleep in bed, my next door neighbor started playing house music very loudly; we shared a wall, and his speakers were right up against that wall, and the whole wall seemed to vibrate with his music. At first I was outraged by how disrespectful he was to start playing loud music so late at night. I gathered the courage to go next door and pay him a visit and give him a piece of my mind. But as I put on my bathrobe, I realized that if I show any sign of anger, it would make for a terrible introduction to his new neighbor, and our relationship would start out on the wrong foot. So I tried to swallow my negativity and knocked on his door. An exuberant young man opened the door and invited me in. I asked him if he could turn his music down, and explained that my whole wall was vibrating. He did so, apologizing profusely. He then explained that he was a professional DJ, and he was setting up his musical line up for the evening. His palpable passion and love for the dance music made a great impression on me; he LOVED his music and his job so much, and he couldn't wait to share it with the others at the dance club or rave that night. I left his apartment infected with his passion, even though before meeting him, I would never say I enjoyed that type of music. The next weekend, just as I was getting into bed, he started playing his music again, just as loudly as before. But this time, when I heard it, it came not with anger, but with the love he shared with me toward it. Feeling this love as the whole wall was vibrating, I was able to fall asleep surprisingly quickly! It continued that way every weekend for the whole year that I lived there.
Just like Aryae Coopersmith's story, it's so easy to project negativity onto people we don't know, but when we actually get to meet them, get to know them, and learn something of their point of view, what was at first another person's "noise" can even become a kind of lullaby.
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