Our Practice Is To Close The Gap

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Hand-drawn art by Rupali Bhuva
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Our whole life consists of this little subject looking outside itself for an object. But if you take something that is limited, like body and mind, and look for something outside it, that something becomes an object and must be limited too. So you have something limited looking for something limited and you just end up with more of the same folly that has made you miserable.

We have all spent many years building up a conditioned view of life. There is "me" and there is this "thing" out there that is either hurting me or pleasing me. We tend to run our whole life trying to avoid all that hurts or displeases us, noticing the objects, people, or situations that we think will give us pain or pleasure, avoiding one and pursuing the other. Without exception, we all do this. We remain separate from our life, looking at it, analyzing it, judging it, seeking to answer the questions, 'What am I going to get out of it? Is it going to give me pleasure or comfort or should I run away from it?" We do this from morning until night.

Underneath our nice, friendly facades there is great unease. If I were to scratch below the surface of anyone I would find fear, pain, and anxiety running amok.  We all have ways to cover them up.  We overeat, over-drink, overwork; we watch too much television.  We are always doing something to cover up our basic existential anxiety. Some people live that way until the day they die.

As the years go by, it gets worse and worse. What might not look so bad when you are twenty-five looks awful by the time you are fifty. We all know people who might as well be dead; they have so contracted into their limited viewpoints that it is as painful for those around them as it is for themselves. The flexibility and joy and flow of life are gone. And that rather grim possibility faces all of us, unless we wake up to the fact that we need to work with our life, we need to practice.

We have to see through the mirage that there is an "I" separate from "that." Our practice is to close the gap. Only in that instant when we and the object become one can we see what our life is.

Enlightenment is not something you achieve. It is the absence of something. All your life you have been going forward after something, pursuing some goal. Enlightenment is dropping all that. But to talk about it is of little use.

The practice has to be done by each individual. There is no substitute. We can read about it until we are a thousand years old and it won't do a thing for us. We all have to practice, and we have to practice with all of our might for the rest of our lives.

Seed Questions for Reflection

How do you relate to the notion that enlightenment is the absence of pursuing any goal? Can you share a personal story of a time you saw through the mirage of the subject being separate from the object? What helps you close the gap?

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18 Past Reflections
PF
Jul 4, 2023
This sounds like you can force something to happen by working hard at that objective. I am more convinced by the practice of letting go, open to the silence, listen, become one with the present.
NI
May 3, 2023
This reading reminds me of one of the folk sufi stories Ammamma (mother's mother) used to tell me. Later I came to know of this as "Street Light Effect" or "The Drunkard's Search". For those who are not familiar, the story goes like this, - A saint finds a man searching for a his gold coin under the street light, he thinks to help him and asks him, 'Do you know where you might have dropped it?' The man points to dark corner a few yards away and says, 'somewhere over there, I think'. The saint chuckles, 'I think I'll be on my way'. Our true nature as the author beautifully explains is boundless. In our birth, engulfed by the convenience of the skin, the dreaminess of the mind and the quirkiness of the intellect, we forget our boundless nature. Just like when a fish is pulled out of the water, it wiggles the best it can not knowing what or how to find peace, we wiggle too. We often do not quite know what we are wiggling towards. We just know something is not right, I'll wiggle to fi... View full comment
SH
Shaila May 5, 2023
Dear Nithya, Thanks for joining our circle. Your words bring much wisdom and clarity. I appreciate your comment here and thoughts in the circle.
IN
Indira Jul 2, 2023
Beautifully said Nithya . It is an illusion that i have lost me - I am always there…never lost.. to be found. It is just that i get so distracted by everything that is outside, that i don’t realize the brilliant illuminator’s ( of everything ) ever presence within. Looking outside is easier as all our senses are outer directed.. looking within.. initially, is an effort, though we recognize, in time, it is effortless… for IT is our natural state. IT always is… i just need to part the curtains….. shine the light ( attention) within, as i begin to train the mind to turn away from the ephemeral.
SH
May 1, 2023
Enlightenment or something a kin to that, is the absence of craving for pleasure and the absence of running away from pain.
No seeking , no goals, just being our true selves.
As Brother David puts it. " Ask nothing ,refuse nothing. What is , is. Nothing else I want, just what is ".

One realisation. When I am typing this I realise or question how will I sound or appear.
If someone appreciates I will feel good. If someone ignores or disagrees I will feel bad.
This is what prevents us from living our true lives as per the author.
DD
David Doane May 2, 2023
I do appreciate your message and especially the realization that you shared.
DD
May 1, 2023
We all do some avoiding and pursuing -- some don't do it "from morning until night," and many do less and less of it as the years go by. I see enlightenment as involving absence of pursuing a goal and absence of having an agenda or purpose, all of which are limiting. I've seen through and beyond the mirage of subject object split during peak experiences; other than those experiences, I remind myself often that I and object appear separate but are one or are different aspects of oneness. What helps me close the gap is my deep belief that all is one existence of which there are a zillion manifestations each of which is different but not separate. It also helps me to minimize goal-directed living and to eliminate have to's, such as having to practice -- have to's are another mirage, a human created mirage, by which we imprison self.
TE
Apr 28, 2023
As this passage describes, seeing ourselves as separate from all else in life is nearly universal, and perhaps inevitable in that learning differentiation: round, square, red, green, cause, effect, concepts, words... are required for our brain to develop past infancy. The function of our egoic self that develops is attachment to our "likes", and rejecting our "dislikes" and believing the delusion that getting only "likes" and never "dislikes" will be peace and happiness (the 3 poisons, which always result in suffering). At some point we can discover the non-separate whole (perhaps as an initial awakening "dṛṣṭi-svabhāva" or "kenshō" experience?) as one more thing amongst all else in life. When seen through the eye of ego, the "gap" between Oneness and separation is one more "dislike" in our way. Though it often takes time, it IS possible to see duality FROM Oneness (and as a manifestation of Oneness), not just as one more element within duality from my limited egoic view. From... View full comment
VI
Apr 28, 2023
The late Charlotte Joko Beck writes in an extraordinary way in which she sees and explains the practicality of “practice” and how this mighty individual effort is universal for all.
CH
Apr 28, 2023
I have experiences of closing the gap which tend to come during meditation, but can also come in moments when I just let go. The more I am finding time to close the gap, the more the gap closes for me. I am a near constant hair twirler, and sometimes I will get a moment of clarity when I go to twirl my hair and choose not to - I then experience a blissful moment of rest and awareness. Most recently, I have experienced closure of the gap when I imagine I am dancing with my son who passed at 17 years old on August 28th, 2022. I have had many thoughts about how he is no longer in a physical body and so can't experience dance the way we used to (he always danced with me, even in his teen years). At first it made me feel sorry for him, but then I started exploring the idea of dancing without my physical body, and so I close my eyes and dance with him without my physical form. It is a beautiful lightening experience of joy, and I believe he is guiding me in this new practice.
VI
Vicki Apr 28, 2023
Your post about your late son is so beautiful and the love you two shared for dancing and seeing how you express and feel without his physical body present was helpful to me in my own struggles with separation from family. Thank you.
DD
David Doane May 1, 2023
I am sorry about the death of your son, and happy that you enjoy you and him being together nonphysically. Thank you for sharing.
SH
Shyam May 1, 2023
Finding bliss in a simple realisation of being aware of the twirling of hair and choosing not to do is amazing.
Like the author says , it's about practicing. Thankyou for sharing.
Finding joy in dancing with the spirit of your son sucha beautiful practice to.

I also re-live many memories conversing with my wife who passed away almost ten years ago. There is a o much of joy in it.
BA
Barbara May 5, 2023
What a beautiful reflection to share here! Finding joy in the nonphysical way of dancing with your son is wonderful for you. When you meditate you can experience this deeply and find joy. I am happy that you were able to choose to close that gap when you consciously choose to not twirl your hair. I am sure we all have those things we wish not to do. Namaste~
JP
Apr 28, 2023
Being has no -time and no- space boundaries. Being is ONE and WHOLE. Being is UNIVERSAL. I have read this truth and heard about it many many times. And I also know that TRUTH needs to realized, to be lived. And when I live this way, the dividing walls of me against you break down and we spiritualy become one. There is oneness in manyness. In fact there is only ONENESS and that is who I am and that is who you are, and that is we are. There is no subject-object daulity. Enlightement is seeing this nondual existence and living it.
I feel the light of enlighenment when I love someone unconditionally, when I serve someone selflessly, when I feel unitive consciousness in meditation. Wakefulness, awareness, looking within and practing mindfulness meditation have been very helpful to me to see through the mirage of the subject being separate from the object, closing the gap between the suject and the object.
Namaste!
Jagdish P Dave

PD
Apr 28, 2023
This observation resonates with my life journey. As I become more able to identify with the "oneness", so to speak, I find that my physical life becomes more satisfying, even in its difficulties. Interestingly enough, it was the physical life that I was trying to bypass, when, as it turns out, the more "I" identify with "oneness", the more rewarding is my own physical life, in addition to the incredible journey into that which cannot be described with words (though I certainly try...)
VI
Vicki Apr 28, 2023
Your response on the physical life and oneness was insightful as I’ve been struggling with getting comfortable with being alone and reframing my loneliness to simply being one with myself and the world around me. This time was chosen by me which makes it feel like punishment at times rather than its purpose of caring for my family and so I must observe and acknowledge that there is oneness in the path I have chosen and the work I am doing. Now, if and when I can get my two cats with me, that would be lovely.
TD
Tom Dietvorst May 2, 2023
Pat, "...cannot be described with words (though I certainly try...)" I love that. I say that "this" is beyond words...and then there I go trying to explain it. Thanks for the reminder. Love, Tom