Reading Archive (Empathy)
If You Really Pay Attention
When I was a little bitty kiddy, about five, my Dad began a process … anytime somebody came and said something to us, my dad would...
Social Intelligence
One day, late for a meeting in midtown Manhattan, I was looking for a shortcut. So I walked into an indoor atrium on the ground floor of...
Mercy
She asks me to kill the spider. Instead, I get the most peaceful weapons I can find. I take a cup and a napkin. I catch the spider,...
Vulnerability is the Path
Vulnerability isn't good or bad: it's not what we call a dark emotion, nor is it always a light, positive experience....
I-It and I-Thou
(Reflections on "I-Thou" by Martin Buber) I-It relationships come in two varieties. Some are strictly utilitarian....
My Misgivings About Advice
My misgivings about advice began with my first experience of clinical depression thirty-five years ago. The people who tried to...
The Power Paradox
Life is made up of patterns. And one pattern kept appearing in scientific studies I've conducted over the past twenty years. It's...
When Winnie The Pooh Was Scared
“Piglet” said Pooh. “Yes,” said Piglet. “I’m scared,” said Pooh. For a moment there was...
Four Types Of Listening
In my years of working with groups and organizations, I have identified four basic types of listening. “Ya, I know that...
When Someone Deeply Listens To You
When someone deeply listens to you it is like holding out a dented cup you've had since childhood and watching it fill up with...
Attunement: an Agendaless Presence
Attunement is attention that goes beyond momentary empathy to a full sustained presence that facilitates rapport. We offer a person our...
Art is a Life Raft
Art is a life raft. Many who become artists did so because they found refuge in art from some traumatic aspect of their early lives. I...
Listening As An Act Of Transformation
Two villagers came to a rabbi with a dispute. When the rabbi invited them to sit down and talk about it, they glowered at each other as...
Why We Listen Better To Strangers Than Family
Once you know people well enough to feel close, there’s an unconscious tendency to tune them out because you think you already know...
Cool Loneliness
As human beings, not only do we seek resolution, but we also feel that we deserve resolution. However, not only do we not deserve...
Be Cool to the Pizza Dude
If I have one operating philosophy about life it is this: “Be cool to the pizza delivery dude; it’s good luck.” Four...
Compassion: an Objective Form of Empathy
As the Dalai Lama explains, if you are walking along a trail and come along a person who is being crushed by a boulder, an empathetic...
Wisdom in the Workplace
Actually, wisdom is not anything new in the workplace, it simply has not been acknowledged and legitimized as essential to organizational...
Fueled By Love
When a parent sees their child is about to be attacked by someone, it doesn't matter how peaceful and calm they...
Into The Chrysalis
Chrysalises both inspire and baffle me. The thought that a caterpillar can crawl into a sac made of its own body and dissolve its form...