My children make me come alive each day because they each have such character, courage, and artistry. I love them for who they are, respecting the ways that we are different, and cheering their contributions. What makes me come alive is seeing young people engaging their own stories, tools, and resources to share, inspire, and connect with others both near and far away. I see that there is great potential for social media and technology to build bridges across great distances in this way, provided that we use it wisely. While I am not entirely pleased with the politics and the conflicts of today, I do see a lot of silver-lining opportunities for engagement, grassroots leadership, and peacebuilding, especially coming from young people. I believe that the algorithm we use in Ceeds of Peace (peace within, peace between, and peace in service) presents a good formula for youth leadership and leadership for social change.
The person who most shaped who I am today is my mother. She was a pioneer in microfinance, helping mostly women in rural Asian communities to develop cottage industries like basket weaving, tile making, and pottery making. She demonstrated open-minded learning and listening as part of building true connection among individuals and communities. She created a sense of family wherever she was working and she had such a healthy respect for multiple cultures and communities. When she died in 1995 it was the first year that I really started teaching. The first school that I helped to grow was an alternative public middle school on the lower east side of Manhattan. As imperfect as it was, it really ended up setting the standard for what a community school should be. I often looked to my mother's community work to find inspiration for my own work at this school. It was helpful to have my first teacher be someone who understood learning beyond the four walls of a classroom.
Many people have demonstrated immense kindness to me and to my family. One story I often share about kindness comes from my Ceeds of Peace co-founder Kerrie Urosovich. Years ago, her aunt was hit by a car and broke many bones. She almost died. After the accident, her aunt declared, "This experience must have a transformative impact on my attitude and conduct." She decided that from that point forward she would try to make the lives of everyone whom she encountered better by virtue of the encounter. And so, even if a server at a restaurant was rude to her, she tried to make that person's day a little better. It is a difficult undertaking but she encouraged everyone to practice this technique of kindness. After learning of this story, I decided to try it myself and it worked to deepen my sense of optimism and connection. Now, whenever I meet someone I try to find something beautiful about them and I tell them about it. I often give compliments, even if someone is grouchy. I do my best to consider the universal need that might be responsible for their demeanor and challenge myself to respond to their need. While it is not always easy, this idea from Kerrie's aunt has made me feel empowered. It has made me much more mindful and aware. I share this to say that it is not so much the big acts of kindness that matter the most, but rather those small daily commitments to being kind that carry tremendous value, even when at times they require you to lean into your discomfort.
I cannot name just one! I want to be a sojourner forever. I'd love to travel with my children exploring, walking, traversing, and visiting spaces where I have never been, seeing communities that I haven't seen. I'd love to write more young adult novels (I have one coming out next year). I love the idea of telling more stories that help to shape personal and moral courage in young women in particular. I'd love to impact global girls education. I am also looking forward to building a series of programs to nurture innovative leadership in the Asia Pacific region.
The true purpose of all education and relationships in my view is really to help us to "cuci mata". Cucimata means, "to wash the eyes" in Indonesian. We must remember to cuci mata and persistently revisit and renew our understandings o