I Am Me

Virginia Satir

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I am me. In all the world, there is no one exactly like me. There are persons who have some parts like me, but no one adds up exactly like me. Therefore, everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone choose it.

I own everything about me, My body including everything it does; My mind including all its thoughts and ideas; My eyes including the images of all they behold; My feelings whatever they may be… anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement; My Mouth and all the words that come out of it polite, sweet or rough, correct or incorrect; My Voice loud or soft. And all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself.

I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me I can become intimately acquainted with me. By doing so I can love me and be friendly with me in all parts. I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.

I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know. But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully, look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is ME . This is authentic and represents where I am in that moment in time. When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting. I can discard that which is unfitting, and keep that which proved fitting, and invent something new for that which I discarded.

I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore I can engineer me.

I am me and I am okay.

Virginia Satir was an author and family therapist who wrote this poem when she was working with a teenage girl who had a lot of questions about herself and what life meant.

Seed questions for reflection: How do you relate to the approach of taking ownership of 'me,' and therefore, the freedom to 'engineer me'? Can you share a personal story of a time you took ownership of your conditioning and claimed your freedom to participate in your evolution? What helps you stay committed to finding solutions to the puzzles about yourself, while being rooted in friendship to yourself?

Add Your Reflection:

9 Previous Reflections:

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    On Jun 15, 2021 Tats wrote:
    To take ownership of you is to understand that everything unique of you that is distinct from other people and to not try to boast or brag about those things but to treat them with reverence and respect because they are a gift from God that one must tap into. Also, other people can either help or hurt taking ownership of the self. Sometimes self has to be denied for the sake of a better cause (Mark 8:34) When taking ownership of yourself it is important to realize that it does not matter what other people think or say about you, but how you think or say about other people. It really comes down to "are you treating another person the way you want to be treated" (Matthew 7:12) despite how other people treat you. Sometimes, taking ownership of yourself requires enormous sacrifice. To pursue true spirituality I had to give up studying Japanese, one of the subjects I really like for a month. It was painful, but I endured by the grace of God. Sometimes self-defeat is a moment of s... [View Full Comment] To take ownership of you is to understand that everything unique of you that is distinct from other people and to not try to boast or brag about those things but to treat them with reverence and respect because they are a gift from God that one must tap into. Also, other people can either help or hurt taking ownership of the self. Sometimes self has to be denied for the sake of a better cause (Mark 8:34) When taking ownership of yourself it is important to realize that it does not matter what other people think or say about you, but how you think or say about other people. It really comes down to "are you treating another person the way you want to be treated" (Matthew 7:12) despite how other people treat you.

    Sometimes, taking ownership of yourself requires enormous sacrifice. To pursue true spirituality I had to give up studying Japanese, one of the subjects I really like for a month. It was painful, but I endured by the grace of God. Sometimes self-defeat is a moment of self-realization.

    The painful truth is that the puzzles about yourself cannot be found out if you do not take risks. Sometimes being a friend to yourself means that you do not have to care or worry about yourself. if you are a friend to yourself, you will be lonely. If you truly want to love yourself in a real sense it is important to love the one who made you.[Hide Full Comment]

    1 reply: Aj | Post Your Reply
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    On Jun 15, 2021 Susan wrote:
    We are the sole directors of our lives; we write the script for our own journey, though outside influences can take us off our path, we get to choose which road to take. I learned to stop being manipulated by others who fell off their own path and used my energy to fuel their own. This "sucking" the life out of me came to a halt when my own health began to decline. We can choose to stay "stuck" in stress, or stay true to ourselves and who we are and where we are going.

    1 reply: Jo | Post Your Reply
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    On Jun 14, 2021 inder dutt salwan wrote:
    I realize my inner & outer being are 2 different identities- I AM CONTENTMENT & Happiness 'WITHIN', & just a human being 'without'. I AM THAT. . . A proud father, Working to create a legacy for my son, my family I love to work with passion & integrity in my heart. . . I love running, Running & more running in the rain, heavy rains, especially in the typhoon that lashed China 3 years ago, Yesssssssss, I ran 5.4 kms in the typhoon & it was so so heavenly. . . in winters & in winter rains too, especially when it's foggy, just me & my two feet- Alone one stride at a time, slowly but surely, as if there is no tomorrow, Running ahead of the past. . . That moment is mine & Only mine. I AM THAT... I believe Compassion & Forgiveness are the highest virtues of life, & that TIME will mold me into a complete human being, & that there is nothing deeper than a Mother's love Or higher than one's respect for father. I AM TH... [View Full Comment] I realize my inner & outer being are 2 different identities-
    I AM CONTENTMENT & Happiness 'WITHIN',
    & just a human being 'without'.
    I AM THAT. . .

    A proud father,
    Working to create a legacy for my son, my family
    I love to work with passion & integrity in my heart. . .

    I love running,
    Running
    & more running in the rain, heavy rains, especially in the typhoon that lashed China 3 years ago, Yesssssssss, I ran 5.4 kms in the typhoon & it was so so heavenly. . .
    in winters & in winter rains too,
    especially when it's foggy,
    just me & my two feet-
    Alone
    one stride at a time,
    slowly but surely,
    as if there is no tomorrow,
    Running ahead of the past. . .
    That moment is mine & Only mine.
    I AM THAT...

    I believe Compassion & Forgiveness are the highest virtues of life,
    & that TIME will mold me into a complete human being,
    & that there is nothing deeper than a Mother's love
    Or higher than one's respect for father.
    I AM THAT. . .

    A trusted friend,
    Love traveling,
    High altitude Trekking,
    Meeting people of all faiths,
    & practice EMPTINESS OF MIND through Silence-
    & speak the TRUTH which often lands me in trouble. .
    Colleagues find Happiness to work with me due to the ETHOS I imbibe.
    I AM THAT

    Oh,
    I love innovating
    Cartooning,
    Horse Riding, tent Pegging & occasionally a game of Polo,
    Boating, certainly
    & long distance swimming too. . .
    Study of Architecture, Carpentry,
    Reading, Zauk & Ghalib couplets
    & did I tell you that I express a lot through my writings. . . .
    I AM THAT

    I remain calm when people don't play fair,
    & I practice ARYA SAMAJ & BUDDHISM thought process,
    I do believe HAPPINESS & GOOD HEALTH are the biggest quotient in life apart from a healthy mind in a healthy body.
    I AM THAT. . .

    I'M LIMITLESS in search of TRUTH.
    It is a difficult path,
    But the right one. . .
    i will either find my way or make one.

    I enjoy working for Visually Impaired/ Economically Weak Students. . .
    To empower them through knowledge, education, hope, courage & the ‘WILL to go beyond themselves‘...
    For their lives to become meaningful,
    It gives my journey of LIFE through TIME a meaning, a purpose...
    I feel wholesome & happy ‘within’.
    Am I strange ?
    But that's What I AM,
    LIMITLESS. . .

    I believe only good health coupled with higher knowledge & our KARMA (work) will take us across life & that’ll become the foundation of my DHARMA ( dignity of the human spirit ).
    Destiny you say ?
    Well, I’ll make my own destiny.
    With strength of character, we can be better human beings. This I learnt at my mother’s feet.
    I AM THAT.

    Thank you for patiently reading this during your journey this life.
    I pray for you and your family's good health & happiness in abundance and for us to find a purpose of coming togethrt in our journey of LIFE through TIME.
    God bless
    [Hide Full Comment]

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    On Jun 12, 2021 David Doane wrote:
    Virginia Satir was a good lady and therapist. I liked and learned from her. I am the result of what life does to me plus what I do with life. I was dealt a hand; how I play the hand is up to me. I have limited freedom and power to engineer me. I take ownership of all that. As for my conditioning, I long ago learned to own it and I claimed my freedom to participate in my evolution, each of which is an ongoing process. What helps me stay committed to finding solutions, which are partial and temporary, while being rooted in friendship to myself is my knowing that I am to grow,ongoingly own and become more of who and what I am, and my faith in fostering friendship, that is, kindness and care, toward all creation including myself. Unfortunately I'm often less kind and caring toward myself than toward others which is one of those puzzles I continue to address.

    Post Your Reply
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    On Jun 12, 2021 Kristin Pedemonti wrote:
    What struck me is the individualistic view shared "I am me..... everything about me is authentically mine"

    I am me because of you.♡

    Stated with compassion for each of us who live in societies that place so much emphasis on "individual responsibility" for fixing or figuring out. What about all the external impacts that deeply influence who that "me" is? What about familial, gender, cultural, societal norms that tell us stories about who we are supposed to be? What about ancestors whose traits we carry? What about traumas we've survived?

    This is all to say, while embracing our beauty, grace, uniqueness & gifts, also honoring we are not created in a vacuum. ♡

    I am me because of you.♡

    1 reply: S | Post Your Reply
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    On Jun 11, 2021 Jagdish P Dave wrote:
    Who am I? What am I? Who is me? What is me? These are important questions about my true and authentic identity. It means taking ownership of me. Ownership of my mind-thoughts and ideas; ownership of my feelings and emotions; ownership of my actions; ownership of my triumphs and failures; ownership of my whole self. I do not hide myself from my own self and also from others. This is Me. When I accept myself as I am I amfree toengineer me; to change me. Taking ownership of me frees me frommy socially,culturally, and religiously conditioned self. I loved and married the love of my life born and raised in a different caste, class and religion. Both of us followed our inner voice and faced all kinds of challenges together and grew by going through them. Authentic self creates and sustains authentic and flourishingrelationships. Life presents challenges and puzzles. How do I face them makes a big difference in my life. If I close my eyes to the challenges and puzzles or deny them, I stifle... [View Full Comment] Who am I? What am I? Who is me? What is me? These are important questions about my true and authentic identity. It means taking ownership of me. Ownership of my mind-thoughts and ideas; ownership of my feelings and emotions; ownership of my actions; ownership of my triumphs and failures; ownership of my whole self. I do not hide myself from my own self and also from others. This is Me. When I accept myself as I am I amfree toengineer me; to change me.

    Taking ownership of me frees me frommy socially,culturally, and religiously conditioned self. I loved and married the love of my life born and raised in a different caste, class and religion. Both of us followed our inner voice and faced all kinds of challenges together and grew by going through them. Authentic self creates and sustains authentic and flourishingrelationships.

    Life presents challenges and puzzles. How do I face them makes a big difference in my life. If I close my eyes to the challenges and puzzles or deny them, I stifle
    my own growth and development. I recognize my puzzles. I own my puzzles. I have learned to remain grounded and rooted like atree and derive strength from my authenticself. Relating to challenges and puzzles cultivates strength and courage in me and I do not get uprooted bychallenges and difficulties.
    I conclude my reflectionsby quotingVirginia Satire's last line of her poem: "I am Me and I am Okay."
    Namaste!
    Jagdish P Dave[Hide Full Comment]

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