Waking up to Wisdom
In Stillness and Community

Somehow I'm Always Held

--by Jeff Foster (Jun 11, 2018)

In my short time on this planet, I have known great sorrow, plunged into the depths of oceanic despair, been thrown so deeply into my loneliness that I thought I would never return.

I have tasted the ecstatic joys of meditation, the fierce intimacy of love, the savage pains of heartbreak, the excitement of unexpected success and the blows of sudden failure.

There were times when I thought I'd never make it, times when my dreams had been shattered so thoroughly I couldn't imagine how life could ever go on. Yet it went on, and sometimes I found humility within the devastation, and out of the ashes of imagined futures often grew new and present joys, and no experience was ever wasted.

I have come to trust life completely, trust even the times when I forget how to trust at all, trust that life doesn't always go according to plan, because there is no plan, only life, and even the times of great uncertainty hold supreme intelligence, and sometimes you have to fall to stand more fearlessly, with greater kindness.

And somehow I am always held, in a way I cannot explain and do not want to. I may be crushed yet again before too long, I may experience further seemingly insurmountable challenges and heartbreaks, but somehow I am always held. Somehow I am always held.

Jeff Foster is an author and spiritual teacher from England.

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19 Previous Reflections:

On Jul 1, 2018 Vicki wrote:

Beautiful and warm like a big hug. Thanks.


On Jun 18, 2018 Renu agarwal wrote:

 Superbly communicated
completely related to my life especially the final part of the passage

On Jun 15, 2018 deepti mirani wrote:

 Could connect with this so much! 
Rightly written and toched my heart. 

On Jun 14, 2018 Kelly Clingman wrote:

 I was not able to approach this topic at circle last night, but I feel comfortable typing it.  I am held by my hero, my Dad, even though Alzheimer's has taken his memory, he can still hold me as I am holding him.  Although we are separated by 2,000 miles, I know that he's being held by my step mom, by my sister, and by his best friend.  When I make my visits, I know that although he doesn't say my name, he looks at me and he holds me with a look of knowing.  He knows I represent love.  I am amazed by his ability to stay in a space of contentment, when this disease typically robs people of their ability to do so.  Because of this, the rest of us who love him can hold one another and put out feelings of love to others when they ask about him.  I am fortunate to have been blessed with a wonderful family, one who has stayed together, even through my parents divorce, because we put each other ahead of all else.  We are love.

On Jun 13, 2018 Kopal Agrawal wrote:

It touched my cords! I couldn't believe that I'm actually reading something which is so true. All my emtions were at the epitome when I read this text. Everything suddenely flashed in my mind, what all I went through, all the joys all the sorrows and in all the situations I was held, somehow. It makes me realize that there were days when I really couldn't think of anything, happening or sound but really the storm passed and made me prepared for more that are destinied. This is very inspiring and beautiful. I really thank Awakin circles for such a beautiful gift of kindness.

On Jun 13, 2018 jhey wrote:

 It means that whatever life throws at us, we will always come out. we may turn out disheveled and broken or happy and estatic, but we are always intact. not literally intact but somehow, we will found ourselves complete even in our brokenness. 

On Jun 12, 2018 Jeanie Bll wrote:

 Wow. "Somehow" really spoke to me today. I am grateful to have found Awakin. These readings are quite profound and speak to our souls. Thank you

On Jun 12, 2018 Patrick Watters wrote:

 "Somehow" yes, I have known this too.  Now closing in on 70 years, I have found deep Truth in some of the meditations of Richard Rohr, his book titled Falling Upward is applicable in a holy way.  }:- ❤️ Patrick Perching Eagle (aka anonemoose monk)

On Jun 12, 2018 Harbrinder wrote:

 Thank you for sharing and so poetically.  Uplifting and inspiring !!

On Jun 12, 2018 Ginny wrote:

 It takes courage in an often harsh world to live life with the openness described here, yet it is that same openness that gives one contact with the source of love that holds all of life. When I was 14 and my mother died, I thought I too would die from a broken heart but in time with contact in my heart to the source of life and love my heart expanded from this loss and I saw life as it truly was and became compassionate and appreciative of the gifts in every day. instead of closing up in pain from this loss, I discovered that the breaking had opened me up to more of life. Whatever Name you give to this embrace of love, it is there to strengthen us. Be brave, be open hearted and ready to receive the love and lessons that life brings to you.  

On Jun 12, 2018 Vedashini wrote:

 Life is a rollercoaster, there are ups and downs. but worth the one and only one birth as human. I love this life and all set to live it joyfully come what may...Love you guys.

On Jun 12, 2018 Lynn Santamaria wrote:

 The reading of "Somehow I am always held" was beautifully poetic.

On Jun 12, 2018 Mish wrote:

 Every thought shared in this beautiful reflection rings true for me.  Trusting the Universe has "saved" me many a time.  Grateful.

On Jun 11, 2018 Sunil, Bangalore wrote:

Soul the Life force is permanently alive beautiful consciously.The worldly life's failures-successes, ups-downs and pleasures-pains hardly make any difference to this eternal divine experiential reality.This unflinching faith-belief with an earnest longing is the key with honest responsible efforts,persistence and patience.Going thru this process to be always held & serve the basic purpose of human birth. 

On Jun 9, 2018 david doane wrote:

 As I am part of life, I am held in life.  As the author says, there is no plan, there is only life, and when I cooperate with life rather than fight against it or try to manipulate it or try to make it fit my plan, I am held by it. When I engage in right action and right process, I am doing my part, and I am held in life, including under trying circumstances. The satisfaction and good outcome that come from engaging in right action and right process, rather than trying to control outcome, help me remember that I am held in life. 

On Jun 8, 2018 Amen wrote:

      The point in my youth where I learned of and experienced God's promise to never leave me or forsake me

     was life changing!  From feelings of fear, isolation and inferiority, came the REAL presence of God ... And the truth, He had my back.  His presence blanketed me in His love.  Like a weighted lap wrap, He secured me.  Answered prayer confirms His promise to faithfully be my Heavenly Aide.  At 57 years old, I can reflect back on just about every aspect of life where I see His physical hand at work ... Holding me ... Giving me people and love to fill in every void of my earthly journey.  Thank You Father!

On Jun 8, 2018 Jadish P Dave wrote:

 Life is not a straight line and I know it. Life has twists and turns, highs and lows, ups and downs, ebb and flow. I have experienced such swings in my life. The most painful expereince in my life was  the breaking of my love relationship at young age. It was very hard for me to go throuh it.I was at the edge of my life. What held me was the gift of  Mindfulness Meditation I had received from my dad. It helped me to go through dark clouds to see the light of life. It did not happen suddenly. It took time for me to bounce back. This experience taught me how to cultivate empathy, compassion and forgiveness, equanimity, and vaule of life in all its seasons. I am very grateful  to my dad for offering this gift.

May we value life and learn how to live fully! May we be gratteful to those what hold our hand when we fall down!
Jagdish P Dave

On Jun 8, 2018 Rajesh wrote:

Its a beautiful passage. Jeff Foster is raw and very vulnerable in his sharing here. I love the staretment "out of the ashes of imagined futures often grew new and present joys". Its such a beautiful thing. To drop out of our imagination and come into that which is more real than all that we can conjure with our minds.

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