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This is the True Ride

--by Jennifer Welwood (Jul 07, 2014)


My friends, let’s grow up.
Let’s stop pretending we don’t know the deal here.
Or if we truly haven’t noticed, let’s wake up and notice.

Look: Everything that can be lost, will be lost.
It’s simple — how could we have missed it for so long?

Let’s grieve our losses fully, like ripe human beings,
But please, let’s not be so shocked by them.
Let’s not act so betrayed,
As though life had broken her secret promise to us.
Impermanence is life’s only promise to us,
And she keeps it with ruthless impeccability.
To a child she seems cruel, but she is only wild,
And her compassion exquisitely precise:
Brilliantly penetrating, luminous with truth,
She strips away the unreal to show us the real.

This is the true ride — let’s give ourselves to it!
Let’s stop making deals for a safe passage:
There isn’t one anyway, and the cost is too high.

We are not children anymore.
The true human adult gives everything for what cannot be lost.
Let’s dance the wild dance of no hope!

Jennifer Welwood was propelled onto the spiritual path at the age of 15 by the sudden and unexpected death of a close friend, which catalyzed a profound recognition of impermanence. She became a psychotherapist to bring together psychological and spiritual work in the service of realizing and embodying our essential nature.

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On Aug 17, 2014 Rebecca McCarty wrote:

 Rose seeds are coated with hard shells, the encapsulating husk is designed to keep the seed dormant, asleep. It nestles there in safety, awaiting the predetermined conditions for breaking dormancy, which have been left, encoded there, in the secret language of chemistry, a gift to the new generation, the experience story of ancient generations, who succeeded in sprouting before.  When those conditions are met, the husk of the shell splits, the plant to be, struggles, it must struggle, there is no other way, it suffers that struggle, to free itself from the prison of it's seed-like state. If it does not make this struggle, if it does not endure this suffering, it will surely die. The seed that once begins to sprout, can never return to being a seed again, it must grow, or die. If it endures this suffering, if it pushes through, it shakes off its seed-like coating and sprouts, puts out roots, develops leaves. It becomes a new being, that of a rose. Once it is a rose, it does  See full.

 Rose seeds are coated with hard shells, the encapsulating husk is designed to keep the seed dormant, asleep. It nestles there in safety, awaiting the predetermined conditions for breaking dormancy, which have been left, encoded there, in the secret language of chemistry, a gift to the new generation, the experience story of ancient generations, who succeeded in sprouting before.  When those conditions are met, the husk of the shell splits, the plant to be, struggles, it must struggle, there is no other way, it suffers that struggle, to free itself from the prison of it's seed-like state. If it does not make this struggle, if it does not endure this suffering, it will surely die. The seed that once begins to sprout, can never return to being a seed again, it must grow, or die. If it endures this suffering, if it pushes through, it shakes off its seed-like coating and sprouts, puts out roots, develops leaves. It becomes a new being, that of a rose. Once it is a rose, it does not regret leaving the seed husk behind.

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On Jul 14, 2014 Amy wrote:

 I prefer to "dance the wild dance of HOPE"!  



On Jul 9, 2014 Kristin Pedemonti wrote:

 Here's to no attachment, to full acceptance and to Dancing anyway and Enjoying Life and the people in it as much as possible and then releasing when it is time. Ebb and Flow. Hugs to everyone!



3 replies: Mish, Pam, Kristin | Post Your Reply
On Jul 9, 2014 Prakash Narasimhaiya wrote:

 Yes....Life is like that. Maharshi Ramana once siad..." Accept whatever comes. Let it come and go. Endure peacefully without murmuring. The only way is left to burn you own KARMA. "  What can ot be cured must be endured happily......



On Jul 8, 2014 RavenHeart wrote:

 When I was diagnosed with an Incurable illness after a pretty healthy life I was first shocked, in denial, then realized that I had been woken up, given a lesson about the impermanence of everything.   I felt blessed with this awakening.  
I notice that many losses seem to tap into previous ones, an assist in a way, to completion.  Love the tree  illustration and the "leaves."



On Jul 8, 2014 Chris Waters wrote:

 We're living in the 6th Extinction,  only  during  the latest part  of which did humanity  come into existence.  It's so difficult for me to include belief systems in this context, for  instance  especiailly the departures of loved ones.



2 replies: Mish, Sarah | Post Your Reply
On Jul 8, 2014 Mish wrote:

 Truth. x



On Jul 8, 2014 genevieve wrote:

 Let's dance the non attachment



On Jul 8, 2014 Mary L wrote:

 When my mother died after a very long illness, at first I felt nothing, only numbness. I returned from the funeral in New England, where the family had gathered like a warm blanket to comfort and to connect at some deep level of awareness. When I went into  church the following Sunday, one of the women said that she knew exactly how I was feeling, as she had lost her mother a year before. She said, "I guarantee that within a year, you will be finished with your grieving." I was annoyed and muttered something about mourning taking its own time.  I suppose this woman was, as we often do, struggling for words and coming up short. It's been almost three years and once in a while I run through that old conversation with myself ... what if we had had one more conversation ... could we have redeemed our rocky relationship. At first, I felt anxiety every time this thought came. Now, I embrace that thought ... we don't know .... wishing can't change anything that is no longer p  See full.

 When my mother died after a very long illness, at first I felt nothing, only numbness. I returned from the funeral in New England, where the family had gathered like a warm blanket to comfort and to connect at some deep level of awareness. When I went into  church the following Sunday, one of the women said that she knew exactly how I was feeling, as she had lost her mother a year before. She said, "I guarantee that within a year, you will be finished with your grieving." I was annoyed and muttered something about mourning taking its own time. 
I suppose this woman was, as we often do, struggling for words and coming up short. It's been almost three years and once in a while I run through that old conversation with myself ... what if we had had one more conversation ... could we have redeemed our rocky relationship. At first, I felt anxiety every time this thought came. Now, I embrace that thought ... we don't know .... wishing can't change anything that is no longer possible ... and as it flows through me, like a feathery breeze, I lean into it, and watch it move through and pass along. Everything changes.

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On Jul 7, 2014 Sanjay wrote:

I was listening to one master the other day and he said that instead of running away from difficult situations in life , stay with them and observe , let the feeling and emotions that arise within your body burn you , burn away the seeds of your karma . He said the suffering will burn you and let it burn , sit with it , feel it completely, you will shake , you will shiver and sweat , you want to run away , but don't do that , let the burning happen . Drop your struggle with suffering , accept and let it burn you so completely that nothing is left . That he said is nirvana , not being at peace and feeling good , but burning with your suffering .



On Jul 6, 2014 david doane wrote:

 "Grieving our losses fully, without being betrayed by them" means to me to grieve deeply and fully while having and moving into the realization that nothing is permanent, everything that comes into form goes out of form, and to accept that reality.  All that is, animate and inanimate, loved ones, friends, pets, treasured things and our own self, is in form for a while.  I think we are betrayed by ourselves, not by them, by our not accepting the impermanence, clinging to what is in form, staying stuck in our grieving and not going on in our becoming.  Life goes on, as the saying says, and we betray ourselves by not going on.  Life's exquisitely precise compassion means to me that everyone who was dear and significant to me, along with every one and every thing that was, continues to be with me, no longer in form but in spirit, and are as dear and significant to me as when in form.  We develop the strength to stop making deals for a safe passage by, as the  See full.

 "Grieving our losses fully, without being betrayed by them" means to me to grieve deeply and fully while having and moving into the realization that nothing is permanent, everything that comes into form goes out of form, and to accept that reality.  All that is, animate and inanimate, loved ones, friends, pets, treasured things and our own self, is in form for a while.  I think we are betrayed by ourselves, not by them, by our not accepting the impermanence, clinging to what is in form, staying stuck in our grieving and not going on in our becoming.  Life goes on, as the saying says, and we betray ourselves by not going on.  Life's exquisitely precise compassion means to me that everyone who was dear and significant to me, along with every one and every thing that was, continues to be with me, no longer in form but in spirit, and are as dear and significant to me as when in form.  We develop the strength to stop making deals for a safe passage by, as the author says, waking up and growing up, learning to accept life on its terms, which will I believe help us with our passage and help us accept our our passage.

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4 replies: Pam, Blythe, Mish, Pam | Post Your Reply
On Jul 5, 2014 Abhishek wrote:

Beautiful and Profound!

Reminded me of Stoicism - the practice of mentally rehearsing the loss of everything we have, as a spiritual practice of building gratitude and acknowledging the 'real deal'

And of Kabir who in one of his bhajan says 'Jin hodi un todi' (Those who shall attach will have to detach as well) - the seeds of death are right in life itself....

As I do my inner work, I realise the 'now' is when I am typing this...and it will also be 'now' when I die.....'now' when you are reading this.... 'now' when life gives you a taste of the real deal.....

Isn't that everything WILL be lost....it is already, in some way.....and that leaves me free to cherish it for the fleeting moments that it is there....all of it - relationships, life and Us :)



On Jul 4, 2014 Jagdish P Dave wrote:

 Being human and 89 years old, I have gone through painful losses of friends, brothers, sisters, parents, in-laws, brother-in-laws and sister-in-laws, nephews and nieces, wife and a few highly evolved human beings. I do not need to convince anyone how much pain is created in our heart by such big losses. I have grieved, endured and accepted their immortality. I am also sensing the shadow of the inevitable life- taker death. I feel sad knowing very well that I will depart from my beloved families and friends and will cause pain in their hearts. When such thoughts come to my mind, I mindfully process them and let them go on their own. Living each day this way, makes me appreciate every act of kindness and love that others do for me and what comes out from my heart. I see  glimpses of light and experience  the fullness of living lovingly. I feel bliss, deep contentment and deep sense of gratitude. Loving, serving being kind and laugh  See full.

 Being human and 89 years old, I have gone through painful losses of friends, brothers, sisters, parents, in-laws, brother-in-laws and sister-in-laws, nephews and nieces, wife and a few highly evolved human beings. I do not need to convince anyone how much pain is created in our heart by such big losses. I have grieved, endured and accepted their immortality. I am also sensing the shadow of the inevitable life- taker death. I feel sad knowing very well that I will depart from my beloved families and friends and will cause pain in their hearts. When such thoughts come to my mind, I mindfully process them and let them go on their own. Living each day this way, makes me appreciate every act of kindness and love that others do for me and what comes out from my heart. I see  glimpses of light and experience  the fullness of living lovingly. I feel bliss, deep contentment and deep sense of gratitude. Loving, serving being kind and laughing and dancing  effortlessly with others and even by myself with none with  me or around me is very uplifting.

I am getting a little wiser as I am growing realizing the transitory nature of all living beings, Recognizing, accepting and letting go of losses liberates me from my self-created human suffering and lets me relate to  life fully as it is unfolding.

With love and gratitude,

Jagdish P Dave

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2 replies: Blythe, Dalia | Post Your Reply