The Laughter Thief
હાસ્યનો ચોરસોરેન ગોર્ડહેમર દ્વારા,
તાજેતરમાં મેં વાંચ્યું કે સરેરાશ 4 વર્ષનું બાળક દિવસમાં લગભગ 300 વખત હસે છે. અને સરેરાશ 40 વર્ષની વ્યક્તિ? માત્ર ચાર વાર.
તો, જેમ જેમ આપણે મોટા થઈએ છીએ તેમ આપણામાંથી ઘણા લોકો પોતાનું હાસ્ય કેમ ગુમાવી દે છે?
હા, પુખ્તવય જવાબદારીઓ સાથે આવે છે જેનો બાળકોને સામનો કરવાનો હોતો નથી. પરંતુ છતાં, એમ લાગે કે આપણે હાલ કરતાં થોડું વધુ હસતા હોત.
તો કોણ - અથવા શું - આપણું હાસ્ય અને આનંદ ચોરી ગયું છે? તેનું એક કારણ આધુનિક જીવન છે, જેમાં પડકારો અને દબાણ છે. ચાર વર્ષના બાળકોએ બિલ ચૂકવવા પડતા નથી. પણ તેનું એક બીજું કારણ આપણું મન અને જીવન સાથેના આપણા સંબંધો છે.
આપણા દિવસો ‘ગમે છે’, ‘નથી ગમતું’ અને ‘આવું હોવું જોઈએ’ જેવી બાબતોના મૌન જુલમ હેઠળ ચાલે છે: "વસ્તુઓ આવી હોવી જોઈએ, તેવી નહીં. લોકોએ આમ વર્તવું જોઈએ, તેમ નહીં. દુનિયા જે છે તેના કરતાં અલગ હોવી જોઈએ."
મારા એક શિક્ષક કહેતા હતા, "આપણા આખા જીવનમાં આપણને 'આવું હોવું જોઈએ' ના નિયમો શીખવવામાં આવ્યા છે." આપણે બીજાઓ માટે આવા નિયમો રાખીએ છીએ, અને બીજાઓ આપણા માટે રાખે છે.
અને આપણું ચેતાતંત્ર (નર્વસ સિસ્ટમ) એવી રીતે વર્તે છે કે જાણે હંમેશા કોઈ કટોકટી હોય - હંમેશા કઈંક બરાબર નથી.
પણ જો આપણે થોભીને આપણી જાતને પૂછીએ, "અત્યારે મારે શું તકલીફ છે?" તો આપણે શું જવાબ આપીશું?
હા, પડકારો વાસ્તવિક છે. અને દુનિયાને ક્યારેક આપણી સંભાળની જરૂર પડે છે. પણ આપણે કેટલી સમસ્યાઓને અંદર સમાવી લઈએ છીએ?
જ્યારે આપણે સજાગ નથી હોતા, ત્યારે આપણું શરીર અને ચેતાતંત્ર એવી રીતે પ્રતિક્રિયા આપે છે કે જાણે હંમેશા કોઈ ખતરો હોય, હકીકતમાં ભલેને તે ન હોય.
સમય જતાં, તે સતત તણાવ 'ટોક્સિક સ્ટ્રેસ' બની જાય છે. અને મને શંકા છે કે આપણા આધુનિક વિશ્વમાં, લગભગ દરેક જણ થોડો ઘણો આ તણાવ ધરાવે છે.
આના ઉપચાર અનેક છે: કુદરત સાથે સમય વિતાવવો. મિત્રો સાથે સમય વિતાવવો. આપણી અંદર જોવુ. ખરેખર શું મહત્વનું છે તે વિચારવાનો સમય આપવો.
જ્યારે આપણે ખરેખર શું મહત્વનું છે તે જાણવા જાગૃત થઈએ છીએ... જીવન જેવું છે તેવું સ્વીકારીએ છીએ... ત્યારે આપણે જોઈએ છીએ કે આપણા પડકારોનો મોટો ભાગ 'વસ્તુ' કે 'ઘટના' નથી, પણ જે થઈ રહ્યું છે તેની સાથેનો આપણો સંબંધ છે.
"જો તમે કોઈ બાહ્ય વસ્તુથી પરેશાન થાઓ છો, તો તે પીડા વસ્તુને કારણે નથી, પણ તેના પ્રત્યેની તમારી પોતાની સમજણ ને કારણે છે; અને આ સમજણને તમે કોઈપણ ક્ષણે બદલી શકો છો." - માર્કસ ઓરેલિયસ
ત્યારબાદ આપણે આ “સતત તણાવ” વગર કાર્ય કરી શકીએ છીએ.
જ્યારે જીવન 'આવું હોવું જોઈએ'ની કસોટીને બદલે શીખવાની યાત્રા બની જાય છે, ત્યારે તેમાં હળવાશ અને સરળતા આવે છે. કદાચ ત્યારે આપણું હાસ્ય પાછું આવી શકે છે.
ચિંતન માટેના બીજ પ્રશ્નો:
આ વિચાર વિશે તમે શું માનો છો કે આપણી ઉંમર વધતા આપણું હાસ્ય ઓછું થતું જાય છે, અને તે જીવનની માંગને કારણે નહીં પણ આપણી "આવું હોવું જોઈએ" ની માન્યતાઓ અને અપેક્ષાઓને કારણે છે ?
શું તમે કોઈ એવી વ્યક્તિગત ઘટના વર્ણવી શકો છો કે જ્યારે બાહ્ય દબાણ હોવા છતાં તમે તણાવ અથવા જવાબદારીવાળા દૃષ્ટિકોણ ને હળવાશ અથવા હાસ્યવાળા દૃષ્ટિકોણમાં બદલી શક્યા હોય?
તમારા જીવનમાં વધુ હાસ્ય અને હળવાશ લાવવા માટે ખરેખર શું મહત્વનું છે તે વિશે દરરોજ વિચારવાની આદત કેળવવામાં તમને શું મદદ કરે છે?
Soren Gordhamer is the founder of Wisdom 2.0.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: What do you make of the idea that our laughter diminishes as we age, not because of life's inherent demands but due to our internalized "shoulds" and expectations? Can you share a personal story that illustrates a time when you were able to shift your perspective from stress or obligation to one of ease or laughter despite external pressures? What helps you cultivate a daily habit of reflecting on what truly matters, allowing more laughter and lightness to emerge in your life?
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10 Past Reflections
On Aug 27, 2025 James wrote :
So for the first time they spoke, and they said, “We are laughing because this man has won. We were always wondering who would die first, and this man has defeated us. We are laughing at our defeat, at his victory. He lived with us for many years, and we laughed together and we enjoyed each other’s togetherness, presence. There can be no other way of giving him the last send-off, we can only laugh.”
The whole village was sad, but when the dead monk’s body was put on the funeral pyre, then the village realized that not only were these two joking — the third who was dead was also laughing… because the third man who was dead had told his companions, “Don’t change my dress!”
It was conventional that when a man died they changed the dress and gave a bath to the body, so he had said, “Don’t give me a bath because I have never been unclean. So much laughter has been in my life that no impurity can accumulate near me, can even come to me. I have not gathered any dus... [View Full Comment]
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On Aug 26, 2025 Kay wrote :
I do feel the burden of expectations on how I "should" be interacting with the world around me and I always feel like I'm doing it wrong. I think it's a lot easier for me to laugh now that the kids are toddlers and they are little beacons of light and joy most of the time. I want to spend more time cultivating the daily habit of reflection, and really appreciate this perspective of focusing on laughter and lightness emerging in life. It's not going to be perennial, however it can be something I choose to focus on rather than all the nonsense out there in the world.
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On Aug 26, 2025 Naren wrote :
This is a topic very dear to my heart though I believe I am still a work in progress. Last year I lost my dad at 90. If one were to reach out to his peers and his friends group, he would clearly be recalled for his humor and wit. He always tried to make any situation funny and the very basis of a conversation. I also noticed that it was more in the presence of strangers or not-so-regulars or his best buddies from his youth. I have since noticed that folks that are always joking, taking any situation lightly and finding humor even when the joke is on them, seem to be always happy, joyful and in good health. I guess laughter indeed is a good preventative medicine.
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On Aug 26, 2025 Pat Hardy wrote :
My husband, Tom Hardy, was loved by so many people, because he had a natural way of making people laugh. He never set himself up to be a "comic," he was simply a joyful guy who enjoyed making people feel good. His life as an attorney was pretty serious, but he could usually find some humor in most situations, so if his quips didn't generate a hearty laugh, they often caused a smile. I was the beneficiary of such a bright light for over 64 years, and I smile every single time I think of him. What a legacy for one to leave.
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On Aug 26, 2025 Andy Ferguson wrote :
My wife and I have been together nearly 36 years through ups and downs. We've been at breaking point many times and I think we'd both say it's the moments where we've been able to laugh together that have held it together. Even now at old age beckons it's the time spent laughing together that make life bearable.
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On Aug 25, 2025 Jayendra Shah Sydney wrote :
When you achieve freedom from expectations from others and self, when you get freedom from comparing any aspect of your life with respective aspects in others life, when you get freedom from how others react to you or respect you or not respect you, laughter certainly comes back. Since retirement I am trying to live in freedom and I see this first hand.
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On Aug 23, 2025 David Doane wrote :
Approximately 300 laughs a day for a 4 year old, and about 4 per day for a 40 year old. That's a serious difference, and a sad one. I believe that difference has much to do with our internalized "shoulds." Shoulds are obligations, and obligation takes the laughter and fun out of most anything. At some point long ago I realized that shoulds are an imposition coming from inside me or outside me, and they say I'm forced and not free. Shoulds disempower. We like to pretend we're powerless victims, but we're not. I gave up shoulds. I stopped telling myself I'm forced. I stopped saying should and started saying I will or I won't or I choose, whichever was true, and that was empowering. Cultivating that habit supports what really matters, which is to be free and responsible, and it results in more laughter and lightness in me.
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On Aug 21, 2025 Jagdish P Dave wrote :
The Laughter Thief authored by Soren Gordhamer makes me look at my journey of life and examine when, why and how I lost my joys and laughter. As a child I was very playful and joyful. I didn't have the burden of "shoulds" and "shouldnts". I enjoyed going to school, playing with my friends, and helping those who needed help from me. My journey of life was joyful. As I got older I felt life getting heavier. I felt the burden of growing up. I came to realize that with aging the burden of responsibilities gets heavier.
There are two ways of dealing with burdens of life: complaining or accepting. By complaining or resenting I lose my laughter. By accepting I flow with my life joyfully. So It is up to me to decide which way to go.
My father was a great teacher for me. He taught me many important things about how to use my mind. The mind can be a killer or the mind can be a healer. He taught me meditation to quiet the noisy mind, to clear the clouds of confusion and to make wise choic... [View Full Comment]
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On Aug 21, 2025 Allie wrote :
My dear friend and colleague Izzy Gesell died last month, and we celebrated him in a memorial which was filled with laughter and like minded creatives. He was a long-term master of improv, and all of its applications to increase nervous system regulation as well as for personal development. He didn’t talk about the need for more laughter, per se, yet it was clear that the gentle switching toward a “yes and” approach would create a much more fluid relational field, as people told their stories from the perspective of other and the incredible capacity building that that laughter comes from the deep part of our being. Nothing like connecting with others in a humorous applied improv session, such that Izzy did for so many over so many years. We miss him greatly.. Izzy Gesell, rest in peace
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On Aug 21, 2025 Victoria wrote :
I have a 4 year old granddaughter and it is true.....she laughs all the time :) and I notice I laugh just being with her much more than I normally do. All sorts of things delight her......new found bugs, crayons, snacks, coconut water. Life is filled with new adventures and new things each day. Through her eyes, I see them as 'new' as well. I notice after being with this little one, the whole day is much lighter and more joyful.